CHAPTER 10: SINGIN' IN THE ACID RAIN

"Oh, gee, I dunno, God Mode Dad," Joe says in response to Corbin's question. "Just...first off, how are you copying him? Did you possess him or something?"

Corbin shakes his head. "Possession? No. I'm not an angel or a demon. And yes, in case you were wondering, angels can possess people too. There's one in particular, name of Castiel, who's done some fascinating work that way."

Nikki gasps. "Castiel is real? Like, the angel Castiel?"

"He doesn't wear a trench coat and messy suit, if that's what you're thinking," Corbin says with a wink. "No, the real Castiel dresses like a plain old human when he's in the field. But he's so eccentric...and that's neither here nor there." He turns to me. "Abbie, I'm sure you have the most important burning questions of all. Feel free to fire away."

"Let's start with the really important question," I say. "If I'm supposed to be a Witness, why am I down here?"

"That would be because another figure from a lesser pantheon interfered," Corbin says. "Chaotically."

His choice of words makes me suspect a certain someone recently made famous by Tom Hiddleston. (Witnessing has cut down on my ability to keep up with current pop culture, but I'll always make time for Marvel. So will Crane, although he's pretty confused by the multiple incarnations of Spider-Man. "Did I somehow miss one of these stories?" he'd asked after seeing Civil War with me and Jenny. "I was not aware that Mr. Parker successfully found the Fountain of Youth.")

"You saying Loki put out a hit on me or something?" I ask.

"Loki doesn't operate that way," Corbin says, very simply. "He has...standards."

"I'm sure." I cross my arms. "Now stop beating around the bush. What was it you said...'figure from a lesser pantheon?' Which one?"

Instead of giving a direct response, Corbin instead hums a few bars of a song - which weirds me and Joe out to no end. Nikki, however, identifies the song after only five seconds. "'Violet Hill?'" she asks.

"You catch on quick," says Corbin. "Yep. 'Violet Hill.' 'And the fox became God.'"

"Oh, I've heard that line," I say, although it's been so long since I've heard it - or any other Coldplay song that's not all over the radio - that it's taken a while for my memory to be jogged about it. "But I thought it was supposed to be talking about Fox News."

"In this case, I'm talking about the garden-variety Fox network," Corbin says.

I cock my head. "You mean the same one that introduced Crane to Glee?"

"That, and they made a TV show out of your exploits as Witnesses," says Corbin. "Which, I'm sorry to say, they've...mangled, to say the least."

I feel like I've been doused with acid. So has Joe, from the look on his face.

"What?" Corbin asks, oh so innocently.

"Are you telling us..." Joe begins.

"...we're supposed to be TV characters?" I ask. "On Fox?"

"No wonder you're dead," Corbin says. "They can either do right by a show...or very, very, very wrong. In your case, I'm sorry to say it's the latter."