I am so sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I had a computer snafu and lost most all of what I'd written and just lost all motivation to continue it when I realized how crappy the rewrite was. I'm still not 100% pleased with it, but I'm too tired to go back over it again.
Seven. That's how many marks Asajj found on her body the next morning. Like the scars that marred her skin, these marks each had a story to tell, a memory. Unlike the scars, however, these stories were not borne out of rage, hatred, and violence. These were the products of passion and fiery desire. She smiled softly as she traced each one.
This one on her shoulder had blossomed when she'd surprised Obi-Wan mid-kiss with a sharp nip to his earlobe. This one in the hollow of her throat was punishment for that nip. Her breast bore a discolored patch of flesh from when she'd encouraged his merciless suckling. Her favorites, though, were the ones on her neck and hip. The former was a perfect imprint of his teeth, so deep he'd almost broken the skin (a more savage part of her wished he had). The latter was actually a set: five dark strips wrapped around her hip bone. These bruises were a reminder of his physical strength (as if she could ever forget) and would more than likely last long after the others had faded. After all, he'd given them to her in the midst of a powerful orgasm that had left them both shaking uncontrollably and without breath or thought for what had seemed to be hours.
Despite the force of his passion and the evidence left behind, he still had yet to lose himself completely. He always withheld a part of himself, whether from fear of harming her or not being able to find his way back to his Jedi sensibilities. Possibly both. Well, she would just have to prove him wrong on both counts. Not only was she not some delicate glass figurine that would shatter at the slightest touch, but she could show him that losing control every now and then in such a way could be rather…fun. He wouldn't lose his sanity unless he really wanted to.
Asajj snickered to herself at the thought and resumed dressing. As each mark disappeared from view she lamented the fact that they would fade in a few days. She quite enjoyed having a visual reminder of her lover succumbing to carnal pleasure. But no matter. She took more pleasure in thinking of how the marks she'd left on Obi-Wan's skin would last far longer than the ones he'd gifted to her. Her lips turned up in a half-smirk as she closed the door behind her. She left thoughts of Obi-Wan behind in the privacy of her apartment and replaced them with focus on her latest job.
"So, how long have you been getting laid?"
The calm and gentle flow of the Force that surrounded Obi-Wan during his meditation screeched to a halt and shattered like a sheet of glass. "I beg your pardon?" he sputtered.
"Hey, no need to hide it, my friend," Vos said easily, a smile threatening to break out on his face. "Nothing to be ashamed of. Unless she looks like a Hutt." A mad gleam sparked in his eyes. "Does she?"
Obi-Wan refused to take the bait. He rose from his seat in the co-pilot's chair and strode past the other Jedi with a muttered, "I'm not talking about this."
Quinlan Vos, never one to pass up an opportunity to rile up "the unflappable" General Kenobi, set the ship to autopilot and followed. "Hey, I was kidding! Come on, I'm serious. It's not a big deal to let off steam every once in a while, especially if she's pretty enough."
"I have done nothing of the sort and I'll thank you to drop the subject right now."
"So, she's not pretty?" Obi-Wan stopped and turned to give Vos what he thought must have been a frightening glare; all it did was make the Kiffar even more determined. "You've got to give me something, Kenobi."
"There's nothing to 'give', Vos, so let it go," he said harshly as he entered the small sleeping quarters and sat on the edge of the bed. Vos stood in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and smug grin on his face; he knew he had the other man trapped. Obi-Wan hoped whoever had designed this ship without interior doors was enjoying a nice long stay in the belly of a sarlaac.
"If you don't tell me I'm just going to start guessing." Silence. "Alright then. Given your bleeding heart, I'm willing to bet she actually is a Hutt…"
"Do you ever shut up?"
"Not when it's something this interesting. What must having sex with a Hutt be like? A lot of slime involved, I think…"
Obi-Wan suppressed a shudder at the unbidden mental image. "If I don't deny that there is someone, will you stop talking?"
"So there is someone! Congratulations, old man. Didn't know you had it in you." The harsh teasing in Vos's voice gave way to genuine concern and curiosity. "But I've got to say I didn't peg you as one for casual sex. You know, the whole 'no attachment' thing."
Obi-Wan released a mental sigh. "It's not like that…wait, how did you even know?"
"It's in your walk." Vos said it so simply and easily as if it were the most obvious thing in the galaxy.
"My walk?" Obi-Wan snorted.
"Every guy walks differently when he gets some 'special attention'; like a spring in his step. In your case, you stand a little straighter and move your shoulders more when you walk. So either you were promoted to Grand Master this morning, or you've been spending your free time in the arms of some voluptuous vixen."
Blast. He couldn't believe he was actually being analyzed by Quinlan Vos of all people. And what made it worse was the fact that he was right.
"Does your Padawan approve of her?" For a brief, imperceptible second Obi-Wan looked stricken. Vos saw it. "Ohhhh, he doesn't know. This is great! Obi-Wan Kenobi has a secret girlfriend and not even the mighty Chosen One knows who she is!"
Obi-Wan opened his mouth to tell Vos off (again), but was cut off by the blaring of the external proximity sirens. "Looks like we've got some company, old man," the Kiffar shouted joyously over the klaxons, clapping his comrade on the back with a sound smack. "Let's go give our Seppie visitors a warm welcome!"
Vos was in too much of a hurry to blast enemy fighters from space to notice Obi-Wan's pained expression or the tensing of his shoulders. He couldn't have known about the eight long scratches that scored his back, nor that they had only recently started to heal over. While Obi-Wan had relished the pain when he had received them, he didn't appreciate someone else causing it to return, even unknowingly.
He took a deep breath to ease the sting before standing and making his way back to the cockpit. He made a mental note to be more careful of how he acted around Vos; one moment of distraction and he'd be in for another interrogation.
Obi-Wan laid himself on his bed lost in thought. As soon as he and Vos had returned to the Temple, he'd excused himself before Vos could object, leaving the other man to give his full report to the Council alone. Their mission had been only barely productive (true, they did take down a number of Separatist ships that had gotten separated from their unit) and on the way back to Coruscant he'd worried that Vos would resume his obnoxiously determined line of questioning. Obi-Wan was not a good liar, and Quinlan Vos seemed to know exactly how to push his buttons. A dangerous combination to be sure, not so much for himself but for the one he was trying desperately to protect.
Thoughts of Asajj began to fill his head. Annoying as he was, Vos had brought up a subject Obi-Wan had forgotten about: Master Yoda knew about her. And now Anakin suspected he was seeing someone, and Vos knew everything except her name.
Running a hand over his face, Obi-Wan tried to think of a way to start that particular conversation. Asajj had every right to know that their secret relationship was no longer secret, that it hadn't been since Day One. He doubted she would be thrilled with the news.
And what would he do afterwards? He wanted to protect her from discovery (and subsequent execution), but to do so would require abandoning her altogether. Given her track record of those she loved leaving her to her own devices that simply was not an option, not in the slightest. He certainly wasn't going to be the cause of more heartache for her if he could help it. He refused. And he certainly couldn't deny his own attachment to her, Force bond or not. He hesitated to put a name to his feelings, but they were stronger than simple friendship or compassion. Which put him right back at Square One.
Obi-Wan was drawn out of his thoughts by a soft thump and a teasing brush across his mind. "You seem troubled, my dear," she purred as she approached. "I believe I can fix that."
He stood and braced himself. He had to do this now. "Asajj-"
Her lips sealing over his and her hands going to his hair stole the words from his mouth. "Perhaps a few hours in bed can ease your mind," she whispered throatily.
The sound sent a shiver down his spine. "Asajj, listen-"
"Or against a wall." She bit at his lower lip before licking the sting away.
Obi-Wan grasped her arms in an attempt to make her listen. "Darling, there's something you need to hear."
"You mean besides you begging for more of my tender ministrations?" Her fingers fanned out around his neck before trailing down to his chest. "I'd settle for basic moans and growls, but I'll take what I can get."
"Asajj-"
"Kenobi." All playfulness vanished from her tone. Her fingertips dug into his chest through his tunic as if anchoring herself to him. Only now did she raise her eyes to meet his. "Do you notice how I keep interrupting you? It's because I know whatever you're going to say is going to be unpleasant and I don't want to hear it. I've already lost my target today; I don't need more bad news. Alright?"
She leaned in to kiss him again, but he blurted out, "Yoda knows."
Asajj froze. She slowly drew back to stare flatly at him. "What?"
"Master Yoda knows about you…about us." He watched her eyes carefully, looking for any slight change. He wasn't disappointed; a multitude of emotions swam in her gaze and through the Force all at once. Confusion, comprehension, shock, anxiety, apprehension, anger, fear. Obi-Wan sighed heavily. This wasn't how he had expected this conversation to start.
"What do you mean 'Yoda knows'?" Her voice was as icy as Hoth itself and sent a chill through him. Even more disturbing was the fact that she had not moved since he revealed the truth.
He quickly took her hands in his, noticing how they trembled. "He's known since the first night you stole into my room. When we…when our Force bond was created, he knew. That was why he summoned me the next morning."
"And what did he say." She didn't phrase it as a question.
"Just that he was happy that I was…happy, but I needed to be mindful to not let my feelings for you override my judgement or my duty as a Jedi." There. It was said. Now he just needed to weather her reaction.
Asajj was silent for a long moment. She could have been carved from stone, so still she was. Only her deep, slow breaths betrayed the fact that she was in fact living flesh and blood. A thousand thoughts went through her mind, all of them hard to digest. If the Jedi Grand Master knew of the relationship between a former Sith assassin and one of the Order's most celebrated heroes, what would that mean for them? Were they being watched every time they met? Were their sparse communications being monitored to ensure she wasn't using him to gain valuable intel? The most painful, traitorous thought of all was the one that whispered that Obi-Wan was using her attraction to him and his pity for her in some ploy for the Republic, that he didn't really care about her at all.
She forcefully shoved the vile idea away. He wouldn't do that to her, or to anyone for that matter. She was bonded to him through the Force, and while the all-encompassing entity could be warped and distorted by powerful Masters, there was no faking what she felt from him. He was completely open to her, and she to him. She dismissed the notion, but after a lifetime of betrayal and abandonment she had a hard time letting it go completely.
But there was a more pressing question that needed answering: "Does anyone else know?"
His hesitation gave her her answer before his lips formed the words. "They don't know, exactly, but they suspect."
She focused at a spot on the wall over his shoulder and made her voice hard, anything to keep the unbidden feelings of betrayal and fear from surfacing. "Who?"
"Anakin-" his chest constricted when she flicnhed at the name "-and Quinlan Vos. They don't know it's you, my darling, and they don't even know the details." He grew worried when she didn't react at all after hearing Anakin's name. She had gone stone-still. He cupped her face in his hands and willed her to look at him; she didn't. "They suspect is all, Asajj. I told them nothing. I'm so sorry. I've not hidden my feelings very well-"
"No, you apparently haven't." His heart cracked at the deadness in her voice and the sensation of her side of their bond going silent. She'd cut herself off from him. "Who else knows?"
"No one." He wasn't ashamed of how desperate he sounded in that moment.
"Really. If two Jedi figured it out, it stands to reason that others have as well." She tried to pull away but his grip remained strong, one arm going around her waist. "Let me go."
"Asajj, please. I swear to you I didn't intend for this to happen."
"But it did!" Now her fury found its way to the surface. She forcibly removed his hands from her face and shoved him back. "I knew this was a mistake. I came to you for help and what has it gotten me? Another reason to constantly look over my shoulder. How do I know your Jedi friends aren't following me home every night? How do I know they're not watching or listening right now? I've tried so hard to keep whatever this is between us solely between us and you couldn't afford to do the same?" She was pacing now, her strides quick and angry and hurt. Obi-Wan could do nothing but let her give voice to her emotions; it broke his heart to be so helpless and have her think that he'd betrayed her, that he didn't truly care for her. "How do I know my door won't be cut in half with a lightsaber any day now? Was this all just some kind of game to you? Something to keep you occupied between missions for your corrupted Order and Republic? Did you ever once think of how this would end for me if I was exposed? You, the great General Kenobi, would be forgiven. 'Oh, he was seduced by the Dark Side. The Sith witch poisoned him and made him do it. He wasn't in his right mind. So let's execute her to keep her from doing it to any other Jedi.'"
He had to speak, had to keep her from believing such thoughts. "That's not true!"
"Yes, it is!" she screamed. Hot tears of anger, shame, and hurt poured down her face as she tried to regain control of herself. She only just barely managed. "I can't…I have to get out of here."
She had just made it to the window when Obi-Wan lunged. His arms wrapped around her from behind and held her tightly. Tears threatened to spill from his own eyes as he pleaded with her. "Asajj, please. I'm so sorry for this. I did try-"
"Not hard enough, Kenobi." The use of his surname was like a slap in the face. She hadn't called him that in earnest for months. "Let go."
"Not until you promise me you won't leave." She trembled in his arms…or was that him? "Please. You know how deeply I care for you. I never wanted this to happen. What can I say, what can I do to make you believe me?"
She remained silent for a long, agonizing moment. When she finally spoke, her voice was broken and thready. It caused him physical pain to hear her speak so. "Nothing. Let me go, or I will make you let go." With great difficulty, he released her from his embrace but didn't step back. "Don't try to contact me for a while. And don't bother following me to my apartment. I'll be long gone before you get there." And with that, she was gone, Obi-Wan reaching out for her helplessly.