I own nothing other than my interpretation of the Gleeniverse. I did not create these characters nor their epic love.

Embarrassing spelling and typographical errors, sadly, all mine.

This is very raw. Lot's of dialogue. But I can't help it. I'm a playwright. Writing chapter form is hard for me. BUT I'm totally digging the practice.

Love this ship.

I used to think it funny when I'd see fic writers asking for reviews… yet here I am. What do you think?

Go Big and Go Home

Chapter 10

Artie rolls up to my right with his huge camera in his lap and rings his bicycle bell to get our attention.

We break from our fragile hug and he raises just his right eyebrow as he tips his head to the side.

"Come on guys let me take a picture. This moment is ceremonious! New Directions won Regional's, again, and Brittany is standing in a Santana and Sam sandwich. Yet no one is naked… and no one is bleeding!"

Brittany chuckles. Sam clicks his tongue. I roll my eyes. We turn to face the camera. Sam's hand and my hand crash behind the small of Britt's back. My hand finds her waist first and he palms over mine quickly, feels my fingers there, and bounces his up to her shoulder blades instead. He and I make eye contact over the bridge of grinning Brittany's nose not knowing which one of us is wrong, or if there is a wrong at all. Brittany rises a little on her toes and all three of us snap turn and smile squarely back to Artie's lens.

"Good one Abrams" Sam retorts as the blinding flash goes off. "Thanks."

As Sam politely steps out of the frame, gently patting Brittany on the back, other glee clubbers either jump in or pull out their phones and cameras out to start snapping. Within seconds Mercedes is standing on my right, Brittany is snuggled into my left and Mike Chang is standing on his hands. Sugar climbs onto Ryder's back like she's a back pack and Marley tries to find a place where she won't be in front of someone (did I mention that she's eight feet tall – barefoot?) and won't let Mike kick her in the head. Unique's rolling video. Tina clicks away. Joe focuses an old 35mm, the hard way, and tries to balance a short tripod on a guitar case. Brittany links her pinky with mine and I feel my cheeks flush their invisible flush. I couldn't stop smiling if I tried.

Mercedes then steps into moma bear mode and says, "Okay New New Directions! Let's gather round and take some family photos for Mr. Schue! Now can all the boys line up here in the middle, and then get all those lovely ladies in purple down stage…"

I step out of the crowd with Mike while Mercedes works her magic. But Jake took off his tie, and can't find it. Kitty's hair is a mess. Who did she end up in the janitor's closet with after the show? Joe's obsessed with his camera and can't stop playing with it long enough to BE in the picture and Unique keeps taking selfies while she's obviously trying to get Ryder in the shot. Oh my. They're such a hot mess and I love them.

"Where's Sammy?" Brittany exclaims from the middle of the half staged portrait. Tina now to her left, Sugar to her right. Blaine puts his hands on Brittany's shoulders and stops her impulse to leave the group.

"I'll go find him" Kurt chimes in. "He's probably just in the men's room or something."

"Kay," Brittany replies. "We just can't take this picture without him. The blonde to brown ratio would be totally off."

"Of course, Brittany" Mercedes coos. "We wouldn't leave him out. But seriously fellas? Where are the rest of ya'll? I can't believe you've been off stage for like fifteen minutes and you already look like you just rolled out of bed? Is Blaine the only gentleman in this crew who can stay well dressed?"

"You know it!" Blaine agrees with a snap and the rest of the room bursts into laughter. Artie just looks confused.

"Found it!" Marley exclaims waving Jakes tie above her head and she gently throws it over his neck and uses it to pull him closer. When their lips almost meet, they both quiver and look around to see if anyone is watching. They shut the moment down when they realize just how many eyes are in the room. They don't notice me hovering near the door, though, hoping to catch Sam and apologize for the crashing hands incident when he returns, but when I watch Marley adjust Jake's newly tied tie I just keep my eyes off of them. Not in a creepy kind of way, but in an appreciative and sweet kind of way. They're so gentle with each other. The way they look at one another is precious. Her hands on his shoulders are feather light. Her gaze, reverent. His hands on her waist are comforting, confident. Secure. I wonder if that was how people could "see" Britt and me, before I could really "see" Britt and me. I'm certain that I am the biggest fool. Oh what a difference a year makes.

Kurt returns empty handed and the remaining eleven performers are assembled, smiling and restless.

"I'll get him," I say much to everyone's surprise. But as I walk out the door of the choir room I'm certain I know exactly where Sam is hiding. I strut right into the boy's locker room and there he is, staring at the tiles between his wiggly feet, purple tie flaccid in his hands.

"Hey Big Lipper, we're taking pictures. We need you back-"

He is frozen. But I can feel the tension in his body from across the room. I take a step towards him and I his shoulders bunch together like he'd been sucker punched in the guts.

"Samuel, hey? I'm sorry. Really I am. I didn't mean to-"

"Yes you did Santana. You absolutely did." His words are clipped. Accusatory.

"I didn't mean to crash my hand into your hand, okay? I didn't mean to scratch you with my nails before. I'm just easily flustered here. It's just awkward around Brittany, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"To totally steal my girl?"

Welp. There it is.

"No. Actually Trouty, I didn't."

I am so determined to NOT loose my shit. I can control my breathing. I can choose not to scream. There is just NOT enough space in this locker room for all of Lima Heights. So I continue with an unsettling amount of calm, "I meant to make sure Brittany was okay. To bring her back for the show tonight. I heard everything you said when you called me. I mean, I did everything you asked me to Sam."

"Yes, you did. And I thank you for that. We all do. But you shouldn't have turned this MIT meltdown into an opportunity to get in her pants, Santata. I saw you come back with Marley. I don't think it was her lipstick on your ear. I mean did you guys even wait until the stage was clear? Or is that why Britt was so late today? Because you needed to take care of yourself before the rest of us?"

I could feel my blood start to slosh violently around in my body. I almost slapped him. Almost. But instead I gritted my teeth and tried to string words into sentences.

"Sam. Don't. You don't understand."

"Oh I think I do Santana. You're like her fucking kryptonite."

"You know Brittany and I are way more complicated than that. She was with you for six months, Sam. We were together on and off for nearly six years. Just because you didn't know about it doesn't mean it wasn't happening. The first time we kissed was just after my 13th Birthday, Sam. 13! Brittany and I, I don't know. We just exist, okay? I can't explain it. I don't want to talk about this with you. I don't even know what this is. Or where this is going."

"You're just going to break her heart again, Santana."

"Actually, Sam, I'm won't. But she could very well break mine."

He stands up and looks down at me. His eyes were red. Frustrated. Broken.

I try to touch him, but he flinches. I can't find the words to make this better.

"Sam, when our roles were reversed a just few months ago you had no problem telling me to forget her and move on and that I was nothing Brittany needed, but I think we all know that's just not true..."

"I know." His eyes dropped to the floor again and my jaw hung slack.

"Wait, you what? You know what?" I was all prepared to battle to the death and he was just rolling over?

"I know what you guys have is special. Okay? I knew I was just a placeholder. Hell, she even would ask me to make love to her like a girl would. She'd flip out if I forgot to shave. She… she was never NOT in love with you Santana. But I love her too. I do. And I thought we'd have more time is all. I thought I'd finish this year with her before she went running back to you. I thought-"

Hurry! Crack a joke! This is getting to intense!

"Sammy Fish Face! Sammy! Please don't cry."

"Enough with the fish jokes, okay?"

Okay don't crack jokes. Take it back. Quick.

"I'm sorry."

"I love you two. Both of you. I loved you first even. Damn it Santana. You light each other up like fucking fireflies. When you're in a room together it is hard to breathe it is so beautiful. And I don't mean that in a gross, I wanna watch way, really. I'm not fucking Finn. I mean in that I just want some one to love me the way you love her. I want someone to love me the way she loves you. I want that. I want it so badly and I thought if I could love her hard enough. If I could be her best friend. If I could make Brittany love me, I could be a firefly too, but it didn't happen. I couldn't happen. Brittany doesn't light up like that for anyone but you. I get that now. I do. And I'm sorry I didn't just bow out as soon as I…"

"Sammy Evans, stop. You don't have to justify yourself to me. To anyone. And she does love you Sam. I know she does. Hell, even I love you, in a twisted, you're that hot as hell stripper baby brother I like to brag about all the time kind of way. But really, you're the nicest guy on the planet, do you know that?"

"That's what they tell me."

"But I didn't come here to steal your girl Sam. You scared me. She scared us."

"Yea, she did."

"And she's going to leave us both you know. MIT ain't in New York City."

"Truth."

"But, I'm glad you took such good care of her when I couldn't."

He laughs and opens up into his super beautiful megawatt smile.

"Well damn, that's something I never thought I'd hear. Santana Lopez, let me pull up a plate of humble pie for you sweetheart."

"Shut it Fish Face. I can still make your life a living hell."

"I thought you didn't want to hurt me?"

"I don't, but that still can't stop me from singing "Under the Sea" every time I see your face."

"Noted."

"Are we gonna be okay?"

"Eventually."

"Thank you Sam."

"Not yet, Santana. But soon."

"Okay, I'll take it. But can we go back and take pictures now? Mercedes is going to kill us and Mr. Schue, I'm sure is freaking out."

"Why the hard part is over. The night's winding down?"

"Not really Sammy dear, it's just getting started. Walk with me?"

"Where to?"

"We've got a wedding to go to. Right about now."