Disclaimer: I don't own BBC's Merlin or any of the characters, though I sure wish I did.

A/N:(Spoilers) for Episode 2x13 The Last Dragonlord. This chapter is currently unbetaed so please be kind. I just wanted to be nice and go ahead and get it out to ya'll. I'll repost post the betaed version later when it comes back along with the next chapters also.

The Perils of a Stormy Night

Chapter 10: Of Love and Loss

Two more days passed with less silence, and a little more smoothness. During that time Merlin had seen flashes of what appeared to be a large dragon, an ugly troll like creature, followed by a few sporadic phrases spoken like ghostly echoes in his head. Merlin even remembered two spells, which felt strange since he didn't remember studying magic-though Gaius assures him that he did. Each instance was triggered either by something visual or with similarly worded dialogue from the people surrounding him. The pain that came with them was reducing each time, but they still left a dull throb in their wake. He had quickly discovered that the smaller the flash, the less it affected him.

Even though Merlin felt wary of what his forgotten memories might hold, he also couldn't contain the intense and addictive curiosity that flooded through him. It was that same curiosity that had him now fiddling with the drawer of his quaint bedside table, fumbling with its contents sloppily as he looked for more items that might stimulate or trigger his flashes.

Even though the Prince had not admitted to it, Merlin noticed Arthur had started leaving little things scattered about in hopes that he might remember certain events. The only reason Merlin knew of this was because when he was cleaning and picked up the miscellaneous belongings the older man would occasionally 'perk up' and appeared to be looking for a particular reaction from his servant. More often than not these last two days Arthur was left wanting. Merlin had been pleased with his own progress until the small bit of non-awkwardness that he had achieved seemed to be regressing as the silent pressures being placed on him to remember felt more and more overwhelming. Gaius had told him to quit trying so hard and to let the memories come naturally, but it was becoming increasingly harder to watch the Prince's face go from anticipation to sullen repeatedly throughout the day.

Merlin sighed and was sliding his hand further back when his fingertips brushed a hard object that was sitting in the farthest corner of the drawer, its surface smooth to the touch. Interest peaked; he curled his fingers around the item and retracted his hand. He was surprised to see a wooden figurine carved into the likeness of a dragon. Carefully he turned the object around in his palms, studying each curve.

A man flashed before his mind's eye, his body was wrapped in a long thick coat of pieced leather. His deep brown eyes were illuminated by the surrounding firelight, and his long brown hair swept down to his shoulders, a thick beard covering his strong features. One of his hands gripped a lump of wood, while the other held a sharp knife. With graceful ease the man before him whittled away, stopping a moment to blow and disperse a few unwanted curls.

"How did you become a Dragon lord?" Merlin asks hesitantly.

"I didn't choose to became a Dragon lord, it's not something you're taught. It's a sacred gift." Merlin nods his understanding as Balinor continues. "For thousands of years it's been handed down from father—to son. That is what you must now become Merlin."

"I would like that."

Balinor fiddled with the knife in his hands as he talked. "Like all Dragon lords, you won't know for sure if you have that power until you face your first dragon." The man's fingers brushed across the wood in his hands and he brought the block up to his face and blew the shavings away from his work space.

"You should get some sleep" Balinor says as he begins to stand. "We have a big day ahead of us."

As Balinor turns away Merlin catches a softly uttered "Goodnight son" and he can't help but smile.

"Sleep well father" he spoke after the retreating back, the exhilarating feeling of finally having his father so near made his heart swell with an indescribable joy.

*flash*

Merlin was stunned as Cendred's soldier knocked the sword from his hands then lifted his weapon to provide a killing blow.

In an instant Balinor was in-between his son and the looming danger, and without hesitation he bravely took the blow meant for the boy. His eyes grew wide as pain exploded throughout his abdomen and he fell back into the arms of his devastated son.

Merlin held tight to his father and looked at the soldier with deep seated venom. With a mighty roar, his eye's flashed gold, and the man was flung away and sent crashing into a nearby tree.

Together father and son lowered to the ground.

"I see you're inherited your father's talent" Balinor gasped and gripped his son's arm tighter. "Merlin" he breathed.

"Please! No…please!" Merlin begged to whichever god would listen. "I can save you" he spouted but the quiver in his voice belied the confidence of the statement.

"Listen to me" Balinor said firmly. "When you face the dragon—Remember, be strong, a dragon's heart is on its right side not its left.

"I can't do this" Merlin choked tears welling up in his eyes.

"Listen to me" Balinor encouraged breathlessly. "You are my son. I have seen enough of you to know that you will make me proud."

Merlin continued to fight the torrent of emotions running through him as his father lifted his fingers and lightly stroked his pale cheek. Merlin gasped as Balinor's head began to slip back. "No!" he hissed brokenly, followed by a breathy pleading "Father" as he lay the man's body down onto the earth. Then there were tears bursting from behind their barriers and spilling down his cheeks. Not even the presence of the arriving Prince to the scene could have stopped the initial pain induced flood.

Merlin gasped as he was released and sent hurtling back into reality, his mind reeling with the revelations that came flooding to the surface. With shaky hands he clutched the wooden dragon to his chest, pressing it painfully tight against his hammering heart.

"I knew my father" he breathed in awe, his eyes wide and dazed. 'but then you lost him again' his mind reminded him cruelly. In moments he was blinking back the threatening tears, his breath hitching in his tightening chest. In an act of desperation, he slid off the bed and made a lunge for the door. Hunith and Gaius both looked up as Merlin burst into the main room, an object clutched to him, a pleading look in his now wet eyes. "My father" he choked out, looking at the two of them with such a lost and devastated expression. "I met him…I-he died."

Together both Gaius' and Hunith's faces flashed with pity. The older man stepped back a few spaces to give way to Hunith who quickly moved over and took her son into her comforting embrace. It would be in that position that Arthur would find them in upon his entrance moments later.

"Gaius?" The Prince asked in confusion, watching as a watery eyed Hunith mouthed softly to Gaius before herding Merlin who sniffled something about his 'father' back into his room for privacy. When the door closed behind the pair, Arthur looked expectantly at the Physician for answers. "What happened? Is Merlin ill? Is he…" "Sire" Gaius interrupted. "I assure you he's fine-physically, he just remembered something. It was a painful memory spun from a very difficult time in Merlin's life."

"What did he see?" Arthur asked, his gaze still placed firmly on the solid door as if his gaze alone could penetrate it. "I heard him mention his father."

Gaius looked at the worried young man and swallowed heavily. "He remembered his father."

The Prince's gaze was on him almost instantly. "You said he only lost the last two years. Merlin told me himself that hasn't seen his father since before he could remember."

The older man let out a weighted sigh and shook his head. "That was before. The boy met his father some months back, and" "He what?" Arthur interjected. "He would have told me if he had."

"Sire." Gaius spoke in a tone that requested silence. "The events leading to his father's discovery were sudden and unexpected. Merlin only spoke to him briefly; but the fates were cruel and he died in an accident before the two could have a proper reconciliation."

"He didn't…I would have given him time off. I would have…" Arthur hesitated and looked back at the door were the soft murmurs of a loving mother comforting her weeping child could still be heard.

"Your Majesty, You have to understand that Merlin was beside himself with grief; it was his desire to continue on and mourn in peace. He did not wish to talk about it then, and I would ask you to respect his privacy and stay silent about this later. It is bad enough he has to relive this event a second time, I do not wish for him to suffer anymore than he already is."

Arthur nodded quietly while looking at a loss as to what to do with this new found information. Part of him understood Merlin's need for privacy, for he too did not share much of his personal tragedies, except that in the last few years he has found himself grudgingly telling Merlin pieces here and there. The man had a way with worming into to his life and scaling his carefully constructed walls. It was all quite infuriating, but he felt a connection to Merlin that he has felt with no other—a kind of bond, a friendship so to speak. There was something devastatingly painful in realizing that Merlin was not as much of a 'read all' book as he had thought. Part of him knew that there was nothing he could have done for his manservant had he told him, but part of him craves the depth of trust that comes from being privy to such moments in another's life.

In contemplative silence the Prince retreated from the room. He did not ask for Merlin's services for the rest of the day.