Helloooo there. I am sooo bored right now so I decided to write another chappie for this story: Cullen's Gone Wild!!!

Everyone: whoooooooo!!!!!!!!!111

Edward walks into room and almost immediately turns back around.

Henryy: That's right! Walk! FIERCE!!

Jacob: Uh! Like always- wait. What are you doing here, leech.

Edward: Um… I was about to ask the same……

Henryy: Excuse me?!? Yes Hello. Please don't interrupt J-Dog. He is practicing his runway walk.

Edward: bursts out laughing.

Jacob: SEE!!! I TOLD YOU PEOPLE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND MY LOVE FOR FASHION!!!! Runs away crying.

Henryy: Oh great. Just great. Now I have no model to try out my new ideas for wizard wardrobes.

Looks at Edward pointedly.

Edward: Wait, WHAT? I am NOT going to be your model for WIZARD clothes!!!!!

Tanya: Yes you are.

Edward: Okay… Drools.

Bella: I KNEW IT!!! Takes off a Tanya mask. I KNEW YOU LOVED HER!!!

Edward: What?!?!?! No seriously!! I KNEW that was you Bella!!.......... duh!!..... shifty eyes.

Bella: Mmmmm hmmmmmm. Just like you thought the piano was me when I caught you kissing it!!! Hmmmm?!?!?!?!??

Edward: Really!! I could have sworn it looked just like you!!!

Bella: And the old lady??? What about her?!?!?!?

Edward: Um. I already told you, Bella. I thought I had traveled to another time and I thought that was you when you were 90…. Hello?!?!?!?!?

Bella: Oh right okay. So how do you explain Mike Newton…!?!?!?

Edward: Ummmmm…….. I can't explain that one……………

Mike Newton: I can!!! We're passionately in love, Bella!!!!!!!

Mike goes to hug Edward.

Edward: EWWWWW!!! Screams like a little girl. GET IT OFF ME!!!!!!!

Henryy: I'll help you, mate!!!! Pulls out wand. Oogly Boogly Joogly Koogly!!!!

Mike turns into a giant butterfly.

Butterfly Mike: I'm….I'm…. I'm a BUTTERFLY!!!!!!!!!!! This is my dream come true!!!!

Butterfly Mike flies out window.

Jasper: BELLA!!! Can you come here for a moment please!!!!!!!

Bella: Sure!

Bella backs out of room, watching Edward the whole time.

Bella: I'm watching you. Then runs out the door and downstairs.

MEANWHILE:

Bella: You called for me Jasp- OH MY GOD. What did you do?

Jasper: Turns to face Bella. THAR SHE BLOWS!!!!!!!!!

Jasper is sitting on top of the fridge wearing a pirate outfit and the whole kitchen is flooded.

Bella: What- AHHHHH!!! Bella gets hit by a harpoon.

Jasper: DIE WHALE, DIE!!!!!!!!!

Jasper pulls out an oar and *rows* himself over to Bella on the fridge.

Jasper: DIE!!!!!!!!! Repeatedly hits *whale* Bella with oar.

Bella: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jasper catches Bella and ties rope around her so she can't move and throws her inside the fridge which he is sitting on.

MEANWHILE

Heard from downstairs…

Jasper: DIE WHALE, DIE!!!!!!!!!

Henryy: What the ell?

Edward: Rolls eyes. Once a month Jasper thinks he's a pirate and tries to capture people in his "ship", which is really just a fridge. But no one is stupid enough to actually get caught. Unless……………..

Edward pauses and puts on a face of horror and twitches.

Henryy: Unless…. What…?

Edward: Whispers Unless he has the… harpoon… Shudders.

Edward and Henryy stand in the room looking at apparently nothing for about 10 minutes.

Henryy: I guess we should go see if everything is alright.

Edward: Oh No!!!! BELLA!!!!!!!!!1

Edward and Henryy stand in the room looking at apparently nothing again for another 20 minutes.

Henryy: Ok! I think we need to go………… NOW!

Henryy and Edward run out of room.

DOWNSTAIRS

Edward- Jasper! You let Bella out of there RIGHT NOW!

Jasper- Unless you art thou willing to make a pertty trade, then NO.

Henryy- I'll help out with this, since you know. I'm one of Bella's true loves.

Henryy holds up wand, aiming it at fridge.

Edward- NOOOO!!!!! Takes wand from Henryy. If anyone is going to save Bella, it's going to be me! Now what spell do I use?

Henryy- Uh. Amateur. This is so not going to work. For one, you are not a wizard. Two, your holding the wand the wrong way, and three. You are not wearing the super cool cape.

Edward- Then let me use yours.

Henryy- NO!! I will NEVER EVER give up Henrico!!!!!!

Jasper- Henrico?

There is a puff of purple smoke and the Weird Thing comes back.

Weird Thing (WT)- God Damn it- OH!!! YESSSS!!! FINALLY I'M BACK WHERE I BELONG!!!!!

WT wiggles over to the fridge and gets on top of it next to Jasper.

Jasper- EWWW!!! GET IT OUT!!! IT'S SLIMY AND UGLY AND GROSS!!!!!

WT- Look who's talking!!!

Jasper- Excuse me? I am very beautiful!!!!

WT- UGH! How many times do I have to tell you stupid humans that I do not speak Piratese?

Jasper- Umm…. That was English……..

WT- Well, guess what? I don't speak English.

Edward- Ummm…….. You're speaking English now……

Don From inside WT stomach- Ello out there? Is that you Henryy?

Henryy- Ummmm……. Puts on high pitch girly voice No, sorry this isn't Henryy.

Don- Drat. Sorry. Hey, can I have your number?

Henryy- to WT Excuse me, but do you think maybe you could spit Don out and then chew him to tiny pieces and then eat him?

WT- Nope. Sorry. What's done is done. URSULA OUT!

Weird Thing claps her hands and disappears in a puff of smoke.

Henryy- Well that was weird.

Jasper- Oh my god, she's so gross.

Edward- Ursula? Its mom actually named that thing? I would have just thrown it out onto the street….

Bella- from inside Fridge EDWARD! So you're saying that if I had your baby even though that's not possible because you supposedly don't have sperm and even though Carlisle is a really good doctor you didn't know that you do have sperm, and if I had your baby and it was ugly you'd throw it on the street, letting cars kill it?

Edward- No, no, no Bella. Of course not.

Bella- Ohhh…. Whew. Good.

Edward- I'd just eat it.

SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOS?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?