A/N: Okay, so, I know I promised it would be up yesterday but I had my first driving licence and it was my moms birthday yesterday so I was busy! But anyway, here we goo :) I hope you like it, its set a week later but WARNING this chapter contains some stuff about bulimia, as an ex bulimic myself, I know exactly what this situation is like and therefore it is a very person thing for me to be writing and I hope it doesn't offend any of you, however I felt it was important to include it as it is one of the reasons I find Blair so relatable too and easy to write! so yeah, be warned, its not too intense but still! Anyway, reviews are always appreciated! xo
-B
CHAPTER NINE
Blair stood, Chucl's arm sure about her waist just as it had been all week;
when she'd got the message from Serena, assuming she had already known, he had held her until she'd stopped crying.
when the invite had arrived and she'd dashed out of breakfast, he'd come after her and held her while she had yelled at him and hit him a little, and then, when she had finally given and just wept.
when they made there way from the camp, he'd been there and now, as they walked up and stopped on the doorstep, his arm was still there, protecting her, holding her, stopping her from stumbling or worse, running away.
He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to her temple,
"You can do this, Waldorf," She managed a weak smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, "I'm right here, Blair," Chuck said, "I'm not going anywhere...you can do this." He murmured encouragingly in her ear,
"Thank you," she whispered, nestling herself further into his chest as he reached up and rang the doorbell.
The chateaux was beautiful.
It was elegant, entrancing, tasteful, and Blair couldn't help but love it.
But the idea that her father lived here, that this was his new home, she just couldn't comprehend.
She knew that he'd left her and her mother to go and live in France, with another man...she knew that.
But she'd been able to convince herself that it wasn't real. That it was just a dream and that when she arrived back in New York in the fall, her father would be back home in their penthouse. She thought that if she didn't talk about it, then it would somehow make it less real.
But here she was, stood talking to a group of faceless people, in a room filled with strangers who didn't belong in her life, or her fathers, and she felt so alone, so trapped, because there was just no way that she was really drifting about in the house her father had bought with Roman.
"Will you excuse me please," she almost whispered, she could feel the tears about to well up in her eyes.
"Blair?" Chuck asked, catching her arm,
"I'm fine, Chuck. I just need to use the bathroom." She said, shaking him off and giving him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, he nodded slowly and let her go, watching her as she walked towards the bathroom.
The world was spinning.
And the moment she was in the bathroom and the door was shut behind her, the tears began to spill, hot and wet, searing tracks into her flushed cheeks.
She stumbled over to the sink and fumbled with one of the taps for a second before finally unleashing a fresh torrent of water into the pristine basin.
She finally gazed up at her reflection in the large ornate mirror hanging on the wall above the sink.
She was a wreck.
Her cheeks were flushed crimson and her mascara ran in tracks down her face as the tears continued to fall.
She groaned inwardly and looked away, back down at the running water, before carefully placing a delicate, perfectly manicured but trembling hand under it, before bringing a splash of the cool water up and rinsing her face.
Again, she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror.
The mascara tracks were gone, but her eyes were still as hollow as they had been pretty much all week and they were still brimming with fresh tears. Her lips looked slightly chapped form how severely she had been biting on them, and her normally perfect lipstick had smudged and faded.
In that moment, she looked so far from perfect, and as she gazed harshly at her reflection, she saw something in her eyes, and it scared her.
Her impecable, flawless cover was gone, and what was left was this broken, lost, insecure little girl who had been abandoned by everyone.
By a mother who didn't care enough to be concerned at her daughters recent outbursts and just thought it easier to ship her off to someone far away place,
A bestfriend who had betrayed her (even though they had made up, it still hurt her that she had left her stranded there like that),
An ex who had always been far fonder of her bestfriend,
And a father who had left her so he could go and live in Paris with his lover.
And so, when her gaze drifted to the immaculate, pristine white toilet bowl that was reflected in the mirror, standing just a few metres from where she was, she suddenly felt much calmer.
As she turned, making her way to the toilet bowl in front of her, being careful to leave that tap running, and knelt down before it, she suddenly felt very in control.
And when she lifted two fingers and started to shove them down her throat, she felt considerably saner.
And then someone knocked on the door.
She was horrified, as she thought about what she had been about to do.
She hadn't relapsed in three years, and she had been about to throw all of her progress down the drain because of a moments weakness,
"Blair, are you alright in there?" Chuck called from the other side of the door. Blair quickly stood, going over and washing her hands before retrieving her makeup bag from her purse,
"Just freshening up, Bass, I'll be out in a second." She paused as she allowed her breathing to steady somewhat, her hands still trembling as she started to reapply her makeup, "Have you seen my father yet?" she asked,
"No, B, I haven't, look, i'm going to go grab a drink. I'll find you when you're done."
"Daddy!" Blair exclaimed, when she finally found her father ten minuets later, now fully recovered from the almost disaster in the bathroom earlier, she tried to sound happy, she really did but again, her smile didn't quite stretch to her eyes when she noticed Roman hovering about ten feet away talking to some other party goers,
"Blair Bear," Harold Waldorf said, beaming at his daughter, "How's Vermont?" He asked, and at this, Blair smiled, genuinely smiled, for the first time all day it was a small and shy smile, but a smile none the less. She opened her mouth to answer but stopped when she felt arms encircle her waist and pull her against a familiar chest,
"You alright?" Chuck whispered into her ear before pressing a soft kiss to her cheek, Blair relaxed instantly, but then, noticing her fathers expression, started to blush slightly,
"Daddy," Blair said. Chuck dropped his arm immediately and looked up like a rabbit caught in the headlights. He hadn't noticed Blair's father. "You remember Chuck, don't you daddy?"Blair asked, Harold nodded slowly, smiling warmly at Chuck,
"Mr Waldorf, this is a beautiful chateaux, really!" Chuck said, holding out his hand.
Harold took it and after a brief but friendly handshake, he said, "I thought you'd be bringing Serena or perhaps...Nate?"
Chuck looked at Blair, expecting her to tense and go on the defensive like she had every time someone had asked her why Nathaniel was not her escort, but instead, she just smiled,
"Well, I figured since Nate is no longer my boyfriend, bringing him would be somewhat inappropriate."
At this, Harold raised an eyebrow, looking between his daughter and Chuck,
"Its good to see you again, Charles," he said, patting CHuck on the shoulder, Chuck relaxed visibly and Blair beamed at him, slipping her hand into his,
"Why don't I give you a tour of the place?" Harold asked, giving Blair a happy, all be it slightly bemused smile.
Unlike his ex wife, Harold was under the impression that providing Blair was happy, so was he.
He knew that this must have been had for his daughter, and Chuck seemed to make her relax, besides, he seemed like a nice kid.
Chuck found Blair later that evening perched on a swinging seat at the end of the of the garden.
she turned suddenly when she heard footsteps, but relaxed when she saw who it was,
"Hey," she whispered, trying to subtly wipe her eyes while he sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him,
"So, I'd say he likes me," Chuck tried to joke, Blair sniffed as he added, "I'd dare to say he even prefers me to Nathaniel." She laughed at this, before turning in his arms, looking up into his onyx eyes. she just looked so sad.
"Chuck," she whimpered softly as another tear escaped down her cheek.
She'd held it together throughout most of the week, and most of the party too, thanks to the boy who was now cradling her in his arms,
"Hush," he said soothingly, carefully wiping away the stray tear with the back of his thumb,
"I thought that if I ignored it, it would just go away." She whispered, "I thought that maybe, if I wished hard enough, that when I got back home in the fall, daddy would be waiting for me. But he's not." She paused, as a sob raked across her small body, "He left me. He left me all alone and..." her voice cracked and she turned her face away from Chuck's. He lifted her chin towards his face and softly kissed her,
"He loves you, blair, very much." Chuck said, his eyes never once leaving hers, "And you aren't alone, I'm here and I don't plan on going anywhere." She looked up at him, her eyes trusting as she looked up at his dark caramel orbs. She smiled then, leaning up and brushed her soft lips against his, he quickly deepened the kiss as her hands snaked up and tangled in his hair, birnging his face closer to hers,
"I love you, Chuck Bass," she whispered against his lips, before reconnecting their mouths.
Chuck's heart started to pound as he moved his lips against Blair's.
Had he heard her right?
He couldn't breath as his heart pounded in his chest.
All he could think about was the girl in his arms with her lips grazing against his in a gentle, slow motion.
He pulled back,
"Blair, I-"
"Blair Bear! Charles! There you are!" Harold said coming over towards them, "I couldn't have a moment alone with my daughter, could I, Chuck?" he nodded, carefully removing himself from Blair's embrace and standing up, he placed a chaste kiss to her cheek and whispered, "I'll be back, I promise, I just have some...things I need to do..." and then he walked off, leaving a slightly dazed Blair in the presence of just her father,
"So, what do you think of it?" He asked, sitting down next to her,
I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass.
It was all she could think.
Had he been about to say it back?
"I have some things I need to do" - or had he been about to tell her it wasn't how he felt?
Ohmygod, I told him I loved him twice and he didn't say it back
"It's lovely daddy," She replied,
"So, you going to tell me why Chuck's here and not Nate?" Blair fidgeted, discussing her love life with her father was not her idea of fun, "Don't get me wrong, I like the boy. You're lucky to have someone like him, Blair Bear," At this, she smiled and shrugged,
"He makes me happy, daddy," she said smiling,
"I can tell, you really love him, don't you, Blair?"
This hit a nerve
I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass. I love you, Chuck Bass.
"I think that I may do, daddy..." Blair said shyly, at this, her father smiled, and wrapped his arms about his daughter,
"He loves you too, Blair," She smiled up at her dad,
"How do you know? You've barely seen more than five minuets of us together!"
"Call it a fathers intuition. He looks at you like you're the only girl in the world. That's something really special, don't waste it!"
A/N: Ahhhh reviews xo
-B