A/N: Many thanks once again to my amazing Beta, Jasper's Darlin' Kathy as well as the amazing Jeanita for all her help and feedback. You guys are amazing! Hope you are enjoying the story so far. I know it's mainly been fluff the past few chapters don't worry there will be getting more on track with all of it soon. The deal with the wolves and so on...I have plans for all that ^.^
Here it is the first Cullen chapter this will describe what's going on with them after the b-day, what's important anyway...
Enjoy
~Tish
******************************************************************
Meanwhile.......
EPOV
The day I arrived in Denali from Forks, I was a certifiable wreck. I lied to her and broke her heart, probably beyond repair. All was for the best she will see. She will find someone new and have a family grow old and have a life. I won't subject her to danger and more nor will I damn her soul.
I parked the car outside our new cabin like mansion and walked in everyone sans Jasper was in the living and Esme were curled up next to the couch near the fire they built reading Emmett had Rose on his lap watching some movie I really wasn't Interested in and Alice was sitting on the floor with her knee pulled up to her chest, her cheek resting on her knee. They all gave me the same look. It was the kind of look that you see when someone is questioning your sanity.
They have been here for three whole days while I stayed behind to tell Bella. They all looked up and gave me sympathetic looks except Rose. Go figure. Carlisle and Esme placed their books down at the side table while Em paused the movie. Alice didn't move she simply moved her eyes to look at me. Carlisle was first to speak as I just stood there.
"My son, how did things go?"
"Hmpf! How the hell do you think they went Carlisle? Just peachy!"
"Son, language! We are all hurting in this" Esme scolded
"Sorry Esme...Carlisle"
"It's ok son. I can only imagine what you're going thru right now. I don't imagine I could do the same in your shoes with Esme. I'm too selfish, I simply need her"
"I feel for ya too bro, I'd be lost without Rosie!" Emmett squeezed Rosalie into a vice hug gathering her dress some in the process and splitting a few stitches. Earning a Hug back from Rose and a whack to the back of the head after.
"Watch it Babe!"
I scoffed at her vanity and trudged up the stairs. I entered my room and put Debussy on repeat. I perched myself in the window seat staring at the night sky. Contemplating all I did and what I would do with the rest of my existence. I wanted nothing more than to follow her wherever she will go when she leaves this earth. Doubting only because of how it will tear even more at Esme and Carlisle.
Their thoughts have all been the same. 'Why did we listen to him', ' I feel his agony and despair I don't know how much more I can take', 'I'm worried about him'... Blah Blah Blah! Like they have even an idea of what I'm going though. The thing that got me was mostly the thoughts that came from Jasper. His remorse and guilt was plaguing him but even more so he was questioning his relationship with Alice. He wants and needs her by his side but she is denying him this level of comfort. When I probed deeper into his thoughts I found out he has been alone this entire time she won't speak to him. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard a knock at the door.
"Come in"
"Edward..."
"What do you want Alice"
"How are you holding up?"
"Hmph"
"Right... Wanna talk, go for a run, anything?"
"Not really Alice... why are you asking me anyway?"
"I'm bored, depressed… Hell misery loves company." She
laughed humorlessly.
"Why don't you go and see Jasper and not me..." I was eyeing her suspiciously, from what I got from Jaspers mind something is off
"Figured you could use it. You can't hold yourself up in your room, ya know"
"I can do whatever the hell I want Alice, why are you pushing this? Have you seen something?"
The whole house went still
"That's just it I haven't seen anything in a long time... I don't know why really... stress... maybe..."
She still acted like she was hiding something but this new info was now top priority. Once she said this, the rest of the family was in my door way... Great there goes me being alone...
"Are you sure you're not getting anything Alice?" Carlisle asked concerned
"I'm sorry I haven't come to you all sooner with this I haven't seen anything since..." she stopped mid sentence knowing better to mention it again
"Why don't you try again Darlin'...Look for something... Anything"
"Like what...I can't even get a clear picture on us and more Jazz"
"What are you saying Ali?"
"Everything has been blurry. Like white noise. That's the best way I can explain it..."
"Ok Alice just keep trying to see something I'm gonna go research in my study on what could cause this. I'm at loss right now and if I can't come up with something myself I'll try calling Aro and see if he has any knowledge on this." Carlisle stated and left for his study with Esme.
"Ali, Darlin' ya still wanna go for a run?"
"No and Yes. I think I'll go alone I need some time to think."
When she said this his face fell. I don't quite understand what's going on there but something aint' right. Jasper turned and walked back to the room and slammed the door behind him. Than Alice left leaving Rose and Em behind. They both were at loss for words at it all. With Alice's problems, Jazz and Alice's relationship visibly taking a hit and my wonderful mood. They gave me a sad smile with questioning eyes and left.
I sat there for two days perched on the window seat looking out at the Alaskan sky. I knew I needed to hunt soon it has been such a long time since I last went. Those two days we didn't even socialize with the Denali Coven. Everyone seems so lost. I can't seem to place blame anywhere but on me. I know I did what was critical for her. I had to be the bigger person and do the right thing. My world seems darker now. No matter what the sky may show I have lost my stars. My life was dark.
I can only imagine what would be said if they knew everything. I figured they would with Alice but with her gift on hiatus, I doubt they do. Once again I was hit by their thoughts
'Man what is going on with the family! It's not the same without her'-Emmett.
'I just don't understand this why is she distancing herself from me? Does she blame me for everything, has she fallen out of love with me figured I'm not worth it. since that fateful day something in me snapped and I changed I will always owe that to Bella she changed me, I'm stronger now though I hate it had to happen at her expense...'-Jasper.
'Damn it! He tore the dress after all jus great... That's it grizzly... no more s---'- Rosalie. I quickly blocked all that knowing where it was headed
'He needs to hunt. We all have been twice already. I know he's in pain but you that doesn't warrant this urge not to feed. We can't risk it'. I feel for him. This whole ordeal is tearing the family apart. I shouldn't have agreed to this and we would all be whole again... – Carlisle.
'What is happening to this family? I have to fight for this, I will not let my family fall apart…'-Esme.
'What do I do now... could it be...I can't keep thinking this way...I can't fight this either...'-Alice
That last one caught me off guard what is she thinking about and why is her mind clear to me one second and blocked the next and so on. What is she trying to hide? The others thoughts were full of remorse and concern mixed with heartache. I can't stand this much longer with all their thoughts primarily on me and Bella, this family falling apart and love lost... I can't take it. I would be only that much worse if they knew the truth...
I jumped out of my bedroom's window and called out to them letting them now I was going hunting and for a run. It was Carlisle who responded in thought to me.
'Thank you Son, I apologize for all this it's hard on all of us. I can only imagine what you're going through please come back when you're done.'
I ran and ran till I found a small clearing with a few torn down trees and sat down to think.
