Title: Life's Little Moments Chapter 10 The First Six Months of Matrimony
Rating: M
Summary: The first nine parts of Life's Little Moments and now chapter ten all take place post Severance. Chapter 10 begins a few weeks after Matt and Emily get home from their honeymoon. Emily's sister Alison is up for parole.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Matt asks before kissing his wife goodbye on a May morning a little over a month after their wedding.
"Thanks, but I think this is something I need to do on my own," Emily replies then kisses her husband one more time. She's been trying to leave for the last ten minutes without much success partly due to still being in the honeymoon stage of marriage and partly due to the fact that deep down she does want Matt's support today. Her relationship with her sister has been getting better over the past few months through letters and visits, but at times it can still be frosty. Ally can get resentful and mean toward her and she doesn't respond well to it Ally's crap. Alison has been seeing a psychiatrist in prison and has really come a long way in realizing that Emily isn't to blame for the crappy things that have happened to her. She has also come a long way in taking responsibility for the bad choices she has made. Sometimes though she still gets jealous of Emily and can be catty and mean. If Alison actually gets out today, Emily is not sure how Alison will react and how things will go between them. It would be nice to have Matt there as a buffer.
"Are you sure it's okay if she stays here for a few days?" Emily asks.
"Yeah, we'll help her because she is your sister, but no more than a week." If Alison does treat Emily like crap, he doesn't want Emily to have to deal with it and defend herself any longer than a week. "And if she screws up, she's out," he adds not willing to risk either of their jobs for Alison.
"Thank you," she says relieved to have her husband's support. As they kiss again her hands roam over his back as his slide inside her suit coat and over the silky material underneath. "I love you."
He starts to back her up back toward their bedroom. "Cheryl will kill you if you are late again," she giggles.
"How is it that you never get in trouble?" he asks.
"Because she knows it's always your fault," Emily teases both verbally and physically.
"It's not my fault when you do stuff like that," he growls grabbing hold of her mischievous hand and linking their fingers. "And you know seeing you in that suit drives me crazy," he adds.
"Maybe if you had a little more willpower," she challenges.
"We'll see who needs a little more willpower," he responds to the challenge and then kisses her so passionately she is forced to pull away before she gives into the desire that's building.
"See, this is why I don't get in trouble," she makes her point as she picks her keys and purse up off the table. She comes back to him and whispers in his ear before kissing him on the cheek, "We'll pick this up where we left off tonight."
"God you're hot," he comments. She just gives him a sexy smile in response. "I love you. Have a good day," he says before kissing her chastely goodbye.
"Thanks, you too," she replies.
"Alison will have my husband and me as a support system here in California if she is released. We plan on helping her find housing and a job. We want her to be a part of our lives," Emily testifies at her sister's parole hearing later that morning. "I think my sister has paid her debt to society. I think she is ready to make a new start and to be a contributing member to society." Emily feels like her testimony is a little rote and rehearsed. "My sister and I haven't always had the best relationship, but in the past few months we have begun to get to know each other again. I would really love to have the opportunity to get to know Alison outside of prison and to have her as part of my life. I love my sister and I'm going to do everything in my power to help her succeed and live a clean life outside of prison so I don't lose her again." Emily tears up just a little at the end of her testimony. She looks over at Alison to see her looking appreciative of Emily's words and possibly a little teary eyed too.
"Alison Lehman will be released on parole. Ms. Lehman you need to check in with parole and then you are free to go. Good luck," the judge announces to the courtroom a half-hour later.
"Thank you, I think your testimony is what did it," Alison tells Emily as they hug.
"Your welcome, I meant every word."
"So what do we do now?" Alison asks referring to her sister's expertise on the legal system since Emily works in law enforcement.
"You'll have to wear an ankle bracelet, so we'll check in with parole and then we can go. How do you feel?" Emily asks not able to help her psychological skills from coming out.
"Overwhelmed, kind of excited, I don't know really," Alison replies.
"What would you like to do?" Emily asks her sister as they start driving toward home.
"Can I take a shower?" Alison asks.
"Of course," Emily replies.
"And maybe get a haircut and go shopping," she adds. "Just see what the world is like now."
Emily is trying to imagine what it is like for Alison who hasn't been out in the world for eight years, but she really can't even imagine what that is like.
"Your house is beautiful," Alison comments as Emily shows her around.
"Thanks, Matt did most of it, but I've added some decorative touches since I moved in."
"How's married life?" Alison asks.
"Good," Emily replies. That's all she wants to say because she doesn't want to gush about how great her life is when Alison's life is probably very overwhelming and scary.
Emily shows Alison the bathroom and where the towels are, gives her some clothes she bought in Alison's size, and shows her where everything else she might need is.
"Is it weird that taking a shower in such a nice private shower or the prospect of going shopping with my little sister makes me feel giddy?" Alison asks after her shower.
"No," Emily replies. "I think letting the little things in life make you happy is a good, positive start. I got you an appointment at my salon at 2:00 so if you want to go for lunch and shopping first, we can."
"That sounds good," Alison replies.
"Do you want me to come back with you?" Emily asks later that afternoon while they are waiting at the salon. "Or just tell me if I'm hovering too much," she adds not knowing how much Alison wants or needs her during this giant readjustment. She's not sure why she's so nervous about doing or saying the wrong thing. She's learned over the years to be comfortable being herself, but for some reason when it comes to Alison Emily is still looking for approval.
"Come back," Alison encourages. "I need some advice on how short to go, and what do you tip nowadays?"
Emily had texted Matt earlier in the day to let him know that Alison had gotten parole. He comes home to find them making dinner together. "Hello ladies," he greets. "Hi Matt," Alison replies. "Hey hun," Em responds. "I like your hair," Matt tells Alison and she responds with 'Thank you' as he comes up behind Emily. "Hey hot stuff," he whispers kissing her neck as she chops lettuce. "How's it going?" he asks.
"Good," she replies halting her chopping to turn and kiss him.
"I can do the dishes," Alison offers after dinner. "Go spend some time with you husband."
"He's working on some paperwork, so I can finish up out here. I'll definitely take you up on it tomorrow though," Emily replies.
"My sister offered to do the dishes. She hasn't offered to do something for me in fifteen years," Emily muses later that night in bed.
"It's a start," Matt comments. "And speaking of a start, I recall someone promising to finish what was started this morning," he reminds her as he rolls on top of her.
"Hey, how did you sleep?" Emily asks Alison coming into the kitchen for some breakfast and coffee while Matt is in the shower.
"Probably better than you newlyweds," Alison teases. Emily looks horrified. Alison has a history of giving Emily hell about her sex life because she knows Emily likes that part of her life to remain private. "I'm not trying to upset you," Alison assures her noticing her sister's 'deer in the headlights look'. "I'm very happy for you and Matt. It was just obvious from how flirty you were last night and your lovely post sex hair this morning."
Emily self-consciously runs a hand through her hair and gives her sister a sheepish smile that tells Alison she was right.
"You can share more with me, you know," Alison informs Emily thinking about the day before when all Emily said about married life was that it was good, or the times Emily's come to visit and remained quiet about her life. "You always seem to hold back. I'm not going to hate you for building a good life for yourself," Alison assures her.
"For a long time you did," Emily reminds her.
"I know, and I'm sorry."
"I just don't want our differences in luck and in life to come between us," Em shares with her sister as she joins her at the table. "We couldn't even talk for so long. I guess I'm afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing."
"I'm the one who has to worry about that. You're already the bigger person for doing all you are doing for me," Alison verbalizes her gratitude. Emily is all she has right now. Her parents won't even talk to her, and her brother has called, but he still lives in Albany with his family.
"Speaking of that, I talked with Matt and we decided we don't want you living in subsidized housing where there will be temptations. We want to help you find a nice place and help you out with it until you can afford it on your own," Emily shares what she and Matt have been discussing for the past month.
"Emily, that's too much."
"I think it's time you got a break in life," Emily confides putting her hand over her sister's.
The warm weather brings the crazies out creating a less than idyllic beginning to the summer for Emily and Matt. Considering they have been apart for the past two weeks working on separate task forces, Emily is grateful that at least Matt's team had got their men and woman and he has now been working with her task force the past two days. She is even more grateful that they have finally caught up with the serial killer she has been profiling and communicating with for the past two weeks.
"It's almost over," Matt speaks out loud her exact thought as he takes hold of her shaking hands. He isn't sure if she's shaking from exhaustion, caffeine overload, the horrible things the man on the other end of the phone has been saying to her for the past two weeks, or the fact that she is trying not to cry having just lost a hostage.
"Why didn't we go in?" Emily questions knowing why they didn't, but wishing they would have tried. She had never been more onboard with HRT going in and taking the hostage taker down in her whole career.
"He would have killed her either way," Matt gently states what Emily already knows. He sits down next to her on the couch she's sitting on in the command post and rests his arm over her shoulders. She lets him guide her head to his shoulder and rests for a brief moment before Cheryl interrupts informing them, "HRT is ready when you are."
"Let's get this over with," Emily declares with little enthusiasm sitting up and putting her earpiece in.
"You got this Em. Just keep the Son of a Bitch talking long enough for me to blow his head off," Frank encourages through the earpiece knowing how grueling this has been for Emily and what a toll talking to this piece of shit has taken on her.
"You've saved my ass a number of times Frank. This will be the best distraction you've ever heard. You're in good hands," Emily assures him trying to pump herself up to talk to this guy one last time. She stands up and starts pacing as she organizes her thoughts on how she is going to keep this guy distracted. She has to keep him distracted so Frank, Duff, Steve or any of the other HRT guys do not get hurt.
"Let's do this," Frank proclaims.
"Hello Emily, Did you like the preview for your show?" the man on the other end of the phone asks. Matt and Emily both cringe as he says her name. She almost always uses her real name in negotiations, but in this case she hadn't. He had somehow found out who she was, which freaked her out more than a little.
"Did you enjoy it?" Emily turns the question back on him knowing that he did and it will give him something to talk about for a minute.
He talks about what he did to his last hostage, which they all had heard earlier until Cheryl had cut the phone line. Then he starts rambling, "but you Emily, you will be my last conquest. I know your people are getting close and once I get you they will never stop." Matt stands up and moves closer to Emily instinctively wanting to protect her from his threats. She puts a hand on his chest and makes eye contact letting him know through her movement and her eyes that she is okay and needs him to keep his distance so she can finish this.
"What are you going to do once you have me?" Emily asks trying to mentally prepare herself for an answer she doesn't want to hear. Matt hates that she asks that question and they all have to listen to the response, but he knows why she does. He wants to hold her tightly to him to make her feel safe and protected, but settles for covering the hand resting on his chest with one of his own. The response to Emily's question keeps their killer distracted enough that HRT blows their way in and kills him before he finishes detailing all of the horrible things he is going to do to Emily.
"HT is dead," Frank declares. He wasn't even going to try and wound this guy and take him into custody. Not after all the things he'd said to Emily and the way that he'd been escaping police and FBI for the past month. "Great Job Emily," he adds as she collapses into Matt's arms.
Cheryl comes up and puts a comforting hand on Emily's shoulder. "You were great," she tells her agent knowing that in this moment the result doesn't feel great. No one cares that this HT is dead. It's the four women they lost before catching up with him that leaves everyone with a heavy heart and sick feeling in his or her stomach.
"It's over. You got him," Matt adds softly before kissing the top of her head. He holds her trembling body to him. She'd cry, but either she's in shock or she just doesn't have the energy.
"Go get some rest you two," Cheryl orders gently. "I'll order in dinner and we'll meet back here at 7:00 for debriefing. Flights home will be in the morning," she adds for everyone within earshot Cheryl gently rubs back and forth across the top of Emily's back in a comforting gesture. She knows how hard this case has been on all of them, but from experience she especially knows how hard it is for the primary crisis negotiator. "We did everything we could and we got him," Cheryl reminds them and then leaves to check on the rest of her team knowing that Matt and Emily will take care of each other.
In their hotel room Emily doesn't know what to do with herself. She's exhausted, but she knows the sickening experiences of the past two weeks will keep her from sleeping. She's so filled with hatred for the HT, guilt at not being able to help the women, and horrible fear of the evil in the world she isn't quite sure how to process it all.
"I'm going to take a shower," she tells Matt needing to wash away the last few hours. Her tone is flat and calm even though she is in a turmoil of emotions.
Matt isn't sure whether to follow and comfort her or give her a few minutes. He knows after cases she often needs a few minutes to herself to rehash and process what has happened. After peeling off his shirt and trying to relax a minute on the bed he gets the overwhelming urge to go check on Emily. There was something in her tone of voice that has left him uneasy. He's only been on the case for two days and he knows it's going to stay with him for a long time. He can only imagine what she is going through.
He isn't surprised when he pulls back the curtain to find her sitting on the tub floor, head resting on the legs curled up to her chest, and sobbing as the past few weeks play over in her mind. He squats down and puts a hand under her arm as he whispers, "Come here." As he helps her stand her arms slide around his shoulders and she cries into his chest.
"I should have…" she sobs lifting her head to look at him.
"Shhh no," Matt soothes rubbing her back and pressing her against him. He gathers her wet hair in his hand and leans in to kiss her cheek wet with tears and water.
"If I wouldn't have…" she tries to start again.
"Stop," Matt orders firmly because he knows it is the only way she will listen. His hand on her check softens the demand.
"You know you did everything you could for them," Matt reminds her referring to the hostages the HT had killed.
"It wasn't enough," her voice still shaking with sobs laments.
"Sometimes it isn't," he tries to stick to the mantras they always tell themselves even though this time they won't be enough to comfort. For the time being it seems to be working as she relaxes against him. Since he is drenched anyway and she doesn't seem to be going anywhere he steps into the shower and closes the curtain. He feels her smile against his chest even through her sobs about him wearing jeans in the shower.
He loses the pants, but no lust or passion is involved in their showering together; simply comforting caresses and taking care of each other. The loving caresses and holding each other leads them to want to move to lust and passion and finding comfort in each other, but both know now isn't the time to act on it.
"It's not fair. They were so young. What if they never had the chance to love the way that I love you? What about their families who are heartbroken? What if they were supposed to do something great like cure cancer?" Emily questions the fragility of life and the evil in the world.
"I know sweetheart, I know," Matt commiserates kissing her forehead and then her lips.
She feels zombie-like as Matt wraps a towel around her and guides her out into the main part of the hotel room. Her limbs and insides feel heavy and numb at the same time. Nausea eats at her stomach caused by the knowledge that there are people that sick in the world. Noticing that his wife is a little out of it, Matt grabs underwear, shorts, and a tank top from her bag and hands them to her before pulling on a pair of underwear and collapsing into bed.
"Set an alarm," Emily requests as she crawls in next to Matt.
Matt looks to the bed stand for his phone and realizes it is probably still in his jeans pocket. He tries to set the bedside alarm, but it appears to be broken.
"Screw it," he says tired and frustrated as he turns over and crashes onto his pillow reaching out for his wife. "Cheryl will understand if we don't make it."
Emily is too tired to even lift her head and give him a 'No she won't' look. She does scoot in closer to Matt wrapping an arm tightly around his body craving the safety and security being close to him gives her in order to drive away the sickening fear and revulsion still churning inside her.
There is no need for an alarm because three hours later Emily jolts awake, narrowly missing popping Matt in the chin as her whole body jerks and her head flies off the pillow.
"What?" Matt asks half asleep but knowing from the movement that woke him suddenly that something is wrong.
"Nothing," Emily replies trying to steady her breathing and slow her heart rate as she remembers that the case is over, the HT is dead, and her husband is by her side. She sinks down into the bed again and buries her face against Matt's shoulder, the way it had been before her nightmare.
As Matt wraps his arm around her he notices her tank top is damp with sweat and he can feel her heart pounding against his chest.
"Hey?" he questions tenderly kissing her forehead.
"I can't get his voice out of my head, or their screams," she sighs.
"I'm here princess," he assures her the same way he had two nights ago as he holds her tightly to him and wraps a leg over hers. This time he thankfully adds, "He's gone."
An hour later Matt and Emily are awakened again: this time by a knock on their hotel room door.
"Who is it?" Matt grumbles loudly from bed.
"Frank… Cheryl asked me to come get you guys for the debriefing."
"You can tell Cheryl that she kept me away from my wife for two weeks so Emily and I are a little busy," Matt replies.
Matt likes that he gets a small smile from the sleepy redhead beside him, yet her eyes are reprimanding him for that remark.
"Suit yourself, but there's pizza and beer," Frank goads.
Matt and Emily exchange a look and both realizing how hungry they are get out of bed at the same time and get dressed.
During the debriefing Matt's phone vibrates in his pocket. Cheryl gives him a look, but doesn't say anything as he slides it out and holds it under the table to see who is calling.
He is surprised to see it is Emily's mom.
"Who is it?" Emily whispers the question as she leans in to try and see.
"Your mom," he replies, the surprise that she is calling him and not Emily is evident in his voice.
Emily rolls her eyes and tells him that she'll explain when they are done with the debriefing.
"I shut off my personal phone," Emily tells Matt as they walk back to their hotel room. "Alison kept calling with questions about job applications and renters' insurance, and my mom kept calling about my grandma. I couldn't handle them and this case at the same time. Can you listen to the message from my mom? Gran wasn't doing well and I just don't know if I can handle this today."
"Yeah," Matt replies, "Are you sure you even want me to listen to it today. I could just turn my phone off too and we can go have uninterrupted forget all your worries sex," Matt offers.
"As good as that sounds. I need to know," Emily responds.
Matt flips open his phone and dials his voicemail.
"Hello Matthew," Sally's message begins in an unpleasant tone.
"She used my full name," Matt complains trying to keep things light for Emily.
"This is Sally. Some decisions need to be made about mom and I know Emily's aunt and cousin have been calling trying to convince Emily to get my dad to take mom home from the hospital. Please give her the message that she is to stay out of this. It isn't her place. One of you call me back."
"I now know where Ally gets her bitchiness from," Matt comments as he flips his phone shut. He'd seen hints of this side of Sally before, but he knows better than most that a crisis can bring out a whole different side of a person.
"See why I shut my phone off," Emily replies looking at Matt as she slides the key into the slot to open the hotel room door.
"You might want to check your messages…" Matt hesitates not knowing exactly how to phrase what he needs to tell her. "Come here," he requests as he goes to sit on the bed. She sits on the side of the bed next to him bending one leg in front of her on the bed. "It sounds like it might be almost time," Matt quietly informs that the end may be near for her grandmother as he rests a hand on her leg.
Emily nods and sighs. She knew it was coming. Matt notices the tears that spring to her eyes as she gets up and retrieves her phone from the hotel room dresser. Returning to the bed she punches in her voicemail code and puts it on speaker so Matt can hear too.
"Hi Emily, It's your aunt Sharon. Sorry to give you bad news if you haven't heard already, but mom isn't doing well. She wants to go home, but your mother is dead set against it and dad doesn't want to give up. Please call your grandfather. He'll listen to you."
"Hey, it's Sarah. I know you're working that high profile case, and by the way please catch this guy because I'm really freaked out. Anyway I need you. Our mothers are fighting and Grandma just wants to go home and look at her garden one more time. You know you are grandpa's favorite so please call him and use your magic negotiation skills on him. Love you."
"Emily, Don't you dare call your grandfather and try to talk him out of what is best for your grandma. You need to stay out of this. Dad has made his decision and it is final."
"I want to hear what she left on your phone," Emily requests of Matt infuriated by the message that her mom had left her.
Matt plays the message for her and watches the spark of passion and life that had been missing a few hours ago come back to her eyes. Even if it is another crisis, he is glad it will take her away from the horrible, gut wrenching case they have just finished.
"Hello Matthew. This is Sally. Some decisions need to be made about mom and I know Emily's aunt and cousin have been calling trying to convince Emily to get my dad to take mom home from the hospital. Please give her the message that she is to stay out of this. It isn't her place. One of you call me back."
"It isn't my place?" Emily angrily puts the statement into question form. "How is it her place? She left Wyoming as soon as she could and never looked back. It was like the place was never good enough for her. She says it's not my place, but how is it her place when she won't even take her place as mother and reach out to Alison?" Emily rambles furiously.
She drops the phone on the bed and rubs her hands over her face wondering how her family somehow has to involve her in everything, not that she doesn't want to be involved. It's just that she's always being asked to do something or being blamed for something. Maybe it's her fault. Not surprisingly she does like to fix broken relationships and resolve conflicts.
"What can I do?" Matt asks knowing Emily has taken on a lot the last month and a half between helping Alison find a job, apartment, and adjust to life on the outside; this case; and her grandmother's illness.
"Tell me if I should get involved or not, and if I do get involved whose side do I take?"
"Go… with… Your…Gut," he emphasizes each word of his famous advice as he places his hands on each side of her stomach and leans in to kiss her. "You already know what you're going to do," Matt encourages picking her phone up off the bed and handing it to her.
Even though it's almost 9:00 in Wyoming Emily calls her grandma. She recognizes Emily's voice and tells her several times over the course of the conversation that she wants to go home, which Emily already knew in her heart. She just had to hear it from her grandma.
Emily then calls her grandfather and uses her best negotiation skills to make him understand her grandmother's wishes.
"I know you want her to stay with us. So do I, but that isn't going to happen," Emily reasons. "She wants to come home grandpa. You've always given her everything she wanted. Please don't deny her this because you're scared. She's scared too, and she wants to be at home with you."
Emily's grandpa agrees that he'll check her out of the hospital the next day. Her grandpa flexes his negotiation skills by getting Emily to agree to come visit as soon as she can. When Emily hangs up, she leans over and places a soft loving kiss on her husband's lips.
"What was that for?" Matt asks.
"For being an incredibly supportive husband who knows what I want and need before I even know I want or need it."
"What's the plan?" he asks running his fingers up and down her arms.
"First, we have that forget all you worries sex you were talking about, then we sleep for a good 7-8 hours, then we find a flight to Wyoming."
"I like it when you're in charge," Matt comments before getting started on the first part of the plan.
A few moments later Emily puts a hand on Matt's chest to stop him from kissing her again as a worrisome thought has seeped into her mind.
"I don't have any vacation left," she explains responding to Matt's questioning look. "I just promised my grandpa that I would come visit and I have no vacation to do this." She had used all of her vacation for the honeymoon and Alison's parole hearing. Matt has a few more days of vacation time than her, so he still has a couple left.
"Cheryl's not going to let you negotiate for a while anyway," Matt reminds her.
"I don't want to be put on leave," Emily frets, suddenly nervous about her career.
"It's going to be okay," Matt assures her. "I'll give you my days if it comes to that and then we'll both get days for the funeral. You're supposed to be forgetting your worries," he reminds her as he places a hand on her cheek and kisses her softly at first to probe and see if she's still in the mood, then deepens the kiss when she responds passionately.
Late the next afternoon Emily pulls up to her grandparents' farm house. She had been driving since she knew where she was going having spent many summers on the farm growing up and even through college.
"Thank you so much for coming with me," she says reaching over and placing her hand on her husbands arm. She knows it's sort of his job now as her husband to be involved in all of her family stuff, but her family is a lot to take on.
"Just remember whatever happens, I've got your back," Matt encourages placing his other hand over hers. He senses that she isn't really ready to deal with her family. She leans over and kisses him before getting out of the car.
As they walk up Matt and Emily hear Emily's aunt Sharon ask her grandma if she knows who is here to see her. As Emily walks up to her grandma her grandma says, "My Emily is here." She reaches out her hand and Emily takes hold of it in her own as she sits on the lawn chair next her grandma.
"Hi grandma," Emily greets then leans in and kisses her grandmother hello. She watches as her grandmother's gaze moves from her over to Matt.
"That's your husband?" It is both a statement and question as Emily's grandmother struggles to place him.
"Yes," Emily replies. "This is my husband Matt. He came with me last summer to see you when you had your surgery and were in the hospital."
"Hi Elaine," Matt says leaning down and kissing her cheek.
"It's grandma now," Elaine insists.
"Ok grandma," Matt agrees. "How are you feeling today?"
"Tired, but glad to be in the sunshine enjoying my garden and my family," she replies.
Emily is having a hard time seeing her grandmother with a mind that is still functioning pretty well, but a body that is failing her.
"They told me you caught some serial killer," Elaine refers to the rest of the family telling her about Emily's case. Matt can see the pride in Elaine's eyes.
"Yes," Emily replies remembering that her grandmother doesn't like the words yeah or yup.
"Remember when you used to go with your grandfather on patrols. You were barely 18. I used to worry so, but he claimed you were the best shot in Wyoming and you could talk a rooster out of crowing in the morning."
Everyone laughs at that comment except Sally, Emily's mother. Emily had felt the tension since the moment she arrived, but had ignored her mom and stayed to talk with her grandmother. Needing a little break she asks, "Where's Sarah?"
"Out in the barnyard somewhere with some of your other cousins," Emily's aunt Sharon answers.
"I'll be back in a little bit," Emily says kissing her grandmother on the cheek, then takes Matt's hand leading him out toward the barnyard.
"Sarah!" Emily calls out after checking out the usual hang-out places in the barnyard such as the tractor and the hay bales piled in the open shelter.
"Hey Em," Sarah yells as she stands up in the unhitched wagon in the yard.
Sarah and her brother Justin give Emily a hand up into the wagon.
"Hey man," Justin says giving Matt a hand up while Sarah and Emily hug.
Emily and Matt squeeze in as everyone sits back down.
"I remember this wagon being bigger," Emily comments squishing between Matt and Sarah. "Are you sure it's going to hold all of us?"
"Pretty sure, just don't step in that corner," Justin says pointing to the front left corner. "It's rotted through."
"How long have you been here?" Sarah asks.
"About a half hour," Emily replies.
"Couldn't take the tension anymore?" Sarah's other brother Benjamin asks.
"yeah," replies Emily. "This just sucks. She's the glue that holds this family together."
"Without her our mothers will never be in the same room," Sarah sighs.
"Does one of you who knows how to cook have her meatloaf recipe?" Benjamin asks.
"I do, but mine never turns out as well," Emily replies.
"Mine either," Sarah laments.
"Speaking of food, what should we do for dinner?" Justin asks.
Everyone agrees with Sarah's suggestion to go into town for pizza. Emily and Matt spend the weekend in a hotel in town near her grandparent's farm. Her grandmother is still hanging on when they leave to go back to LA. Emily gets the call on the following Tuesday that her grandmother has passed on.
Emily and her mom are civil for the funeral, but there is definitely a rift. It remains a rift for the time being because Emily knows they shouldn't try to repair it during the days of the funeral and her mother and father leave right after the service. Emily and Matt have three days off of work for the funeral and Emily had stressed her need to stay and help her grandfather for as long as they could, so they remain an extra day.
"What are you looking at?" Emily questions raising her eyebrows at Matt who had been doing more staring at her then raking out the stall next to her. She wipes sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand then pushes back sweat-soaked strands of hair.
"Nothing…, I know you like hikes and nature, but I've just always thought of you as a city girl. You're pretty good at this farm stuff," Matt comments intrigued by the farmhand abilities of his wife.
"You know I spent summers here."
"I thought you like brought the men sandwiches and lemonade," Matt teases.
"Oh yeah because that is so my personality to cater to men," Emily replies sarcastically.
"Good point," Matt concurs. "Did you really work for the police department here?" Matt asks.
"Not officially," Em replies with a sneaky smile. "Everyone around here knows I'm the best shot in town though."
"Not while I'm in town," Matt challenges.
"Let's finish this and then it's you and me. We'll see if grandpa is up for a little shooting and officiating."
Emily's grandfather is in the best sprits they've seen him in all weekend as they take turns taking aim at beer cans with a bebe gun. Matt wins the competition between he and Emily earning a handshake from her grandfather and a comment about Emily being in good hands, which elicits a face from her that only Matt sees her make. Emily's grandpa challenges Matt to a little shoot off and while they are at it Emily sneaks up to the house for the picnic basket.
"I'm going to steal him for a little bit," Emily tells her grandfather referring to Matt. "Aunt Sharon has dinner ready up at the house. "
"Back before dark," her grandfather reminds her out of habit.
"We'll be back in a little bit. I just want to show him Peace Pond," Emily tells her grandfather.
"Wow this is amazing," Matt comments as Emily lays out a blanket next to a little pond reflecting the mountains around them and a beautiful sunset.
"We found it when we were little and thought it was so beautiful and peaceful we named it Peace Pond. I think I had a thing for alliteration at the time," she gives a little half laugh at the memory. "You've been so great and so helpful I thought I'd get you out here for a little relaxation."
"I'm glad you did. You've been kind of quiet; this will give us a few minutes to talk."
"Quiet?" Emily questions confused. She doesn't feel like she's been unusually quiet.
"As in telling me how you are feeling," Matt replies. "You usually tell me when you are overwhelmed, or sad, or pissed off. Of course I know you are sad, but how are you doing in dealing with the case and everything that's happened over the last month?" he asks resting a hand on her back.
"Honestly, I'm really struggling to find the good in the world right now. We've seen so much of the ugly and horrible lately," she sighs placing a hand on his arm. "I'm stressed about being at odds with my mom. I'm constantly worried Alison is going to screw up again. But, I'm just trying to concentrate on worrying about the things I can control and not the ones I can't."
"You're so smart," Matt leans in to kiss her.
"Do you know what reminds me everyday of the good people in this world?" she asks and he waits for her response. "You!" she says softly but emphatically. "You remind me there are good people who genuinely care about other people. You make life fun with your charming flirting and funny comments. You make me less scared about someday bringing a baby into this sometimes crazy and cruel world because I know you will help him or her to only see the fun and excitement of being alive."
"I am pretty good aren't I?" he teases.
"Pretty good," she agrees leaning in to kiss him. When he takes it further she complains, "I'm really sweaty and gross."
"Have I ever cared about that?" he asks.
"I have a better idea," she coaxes softly.
"Pretty sure that's not possible," he quips.
"It's something I've always wanted to do," she tells him standing up and peeling off her clothes. He is okay with anything that involves her undressing so he waits patiently to see where this is going. She jumps into the pond going all the way under.
"Coming in?" she asks laughing at Matt's bewildered and amused expression.
"Hell Yeah," he replies quickly joining her.
"This is not as easy as they make it look in the movies," Matt complains as they slip and slide trying to kiss in the water. After a little flirting and playing Emily gets out.
"We've got to get back. We don't want to be trying to find our way in the dark. It's been a long time since I've been out here."
Matt's only slightly disappointed they didn't do much more than kiss on their little venture. He's enjoying just having a little lighthearted fun with his wife after the heavy few weeks they've had.
"If we don't want a lecture we'd better run," Emily insists grabbing his hand as they tear across the farm. Matt goes with it getting the feeling that she just needs to let loose and to feel alive. They arrive on the porch still laughing over their skinny dipping adventure. Her grandfather has been waiting and watching for them.
"Hi… Whew, we just made it," Emily greets her grandfather.
"You're good kids," her grandfather comments placing a hand on her cheek. His spirits lift in seeing their mischievousness, playfulness, and joy.
"Not that good, your granddaughter just took me skinny dipping," Matt jokes only making this comment because he knows her grandfather is not a prude and has heard of much more scandalous things in his lifetime. Matt also thinks he'll get a kick out of it.
"Matthew!" Emily exclaims giving him the 'I am going to kill you' look, but the look softens when she sees amusement on her grandfather's face.
"Oh I know what goes on by that pond. Many a grandchild and great-grandchild has been conceived there. Life goes on," he muses more to himself then to them.
Usually there are six negotiators in the Los Angeles CNU. Matt, Emily, Temple, and Binder have been there for years, but the other two spots have been a rotating door of negotiators. Matt's temporary partner had gone back to the smaller office she'd come from not having liked the big city opportunity as much as she thought she would. Emily's partner resigned after Cheryl threatened to discipline him for sexual harassment. They received a new negotiator, Todd, about a month ago. Since they are at five and Emily, Matt, Temple, and Binder can all work pretty well together in any combination; Cheryl has been rotating partnerships on the basis of what the case calls for.
On this current August night Matt and Binder are on a case where serving a warrant for arrest turned into the suspect barracking himself in. He is suspected of the disappearance of a woman.
Emily, Lia, and their friend Jenna from another department are waiting out the case at Sloan's. Emily figures Matt will have it taken care of by nine and it's a Thursday so even if he doesn't get back until ten they can have one drink before heading home.
The ladies are playing darts when Emily gets a call from Cheryl.
"Cheryl, what's up? Do you need me to take over?" she asks wondering what went wrong. This should have been an easy one.
"No, suspect is dead. We didn't get any information out of him on his involvement in the woman's disappearance. I need you to come get your husband."
"What happened?" Emily asks concerned. Her husband can be unconventional, but he is damn good at his job.
"He didn't listen to an order. Went with his own pigheaded idea and now he's pissed at me and himself." Cheryl gives Emily basic facts as Emily heads away from the bar to a quiet corner where others from upstairs cannot hear.
"I'm on my way, but Cheryl you've got to give me a little more to go on here. Did he screw up?" Emily asks in a hushed voice.
"By disobeying me, yes, with the suspect, I'm not sure. I honestly don't know what he was thinking. This is where I'm hoping you can help," Cheryl explains.
"Ok, can you send the address to my phone?" Emily requests. After telling the girls there was a slight problem with the negotiation she follows her GPS to where Matt is.
Frank greets Emily as she walks up to the perimeter of the scene.
"I talked him out of driving pissed off, but when I tried to talk about the case he walked off that way," Frank nods in the direction Matt started walking.
"Thanks," Emily accepts the keys from Frank and drops them in her purse.
"Watch your back in this neighborhood," Frank reminds her even though he knows it's unnecessary.
Emily doesn't have to worry about trying to find Matt in a strange, unsafe neighborhood for long. She guessed he might walk in the same direction they usually do in their own neighborhood. She started heading the other way and spots him after two blocks.
"Hey," she says when they are close enough. She hopes it comes out as a calming and non accusatory 'hey.'
"I knew she'd call you." Emily can't tell if Matt is ashamed, disappointed, or relieved; but at least he isn't as hotheaded as she expected to find him.
"She's hoping you'll talk to me and so am I. What happened?" she asks gently.
"I didn't screw up," he says defensively and Emily sees that he is still plenty pissed off. "Cheryl went off on me like I did, but I was right. I can't believe she is f*&*ing treating me like a child, threatening disciplinary action. It could have just as easily have gone the other way from what happened."
"Ok, so what happened?" Emily asks taking his hand and letting him explain as they walk back.
After he explains Emily understands his approach, but agrees that he screwed up in not listening to his partner and Cheryl.
"But you understand?" Matt asks wanting to clarify that she gets it.
"Yes, I get where you were going and why you said to him what you did, but I get why Cheryl is so upset too," Emily wants to be perfectly clear. "I'll back you on the technique even though it's not what I would have done, but you didn't communicate with your partner or Cheryl. You disobeyed a direct order from Cheryl. On that I'm with them."
He nods. He doesn't like that he's disappointed everyone, but he understands why they are upset with him. He knows he didn't handle the situation in the best way possible.
"Let me talk to Cheryl and smooth things over," Emily requests. He's done it for her a few times so Emily figures she owes him. She also can tell that this guy got to Matt and she's afraid that if Matt talks to Cheryl that Cheryl will notice it too.
"This guy got to you didn't he," Emily asks turning toward him once they are sitting in his car.
Matt doesn't answer, but she can see it in his eyes.
"If you want to try and find the woman, I'll help you Emily offers," knowing that he will want to fix this.
At 4:53 a.m. the following morning Matt comes back into the bullpen to find Emily sleeping on her arm hands still on the keys of her laptop.
He finds the scene endearing, but is in a bad mood over the case and say a bit more loudly and gruffly than he intends, "It's over. Let's go home."
Emily stretches and yawns, "Sorry," she groans mad at herself for falling asleep. She doesn't even have to ask if it ended well or not. She knows from the tone of Matt's voice and demeanor that the girl is gone.
"You weren't here tonight," Matt states.
"Matt I was logged into data bases and I talked to people trying to track down leads," Emily reasons. She knew what she was getting herself into when she offered to help him even after he'd been kicked off the case.
"You weren't here," he repeats firmly. "I used your passwords or whatever," he insists agitated.
"Fine," she says not willing to argue when he's like this. "She'll do it when he's not so emotional and more rational."
"Whatever happens I have your back," she tells him literally placing a hand on his upper back as they wait for the elevator.
"Thanks," he sighs quietly.
"Emily! What should I do? He's calling us! He's coming!" a panicky voice comes over the phone during a rainy October hostage negotiation.
"Stay where you are Laura," Emily responds to the nine year old girl who's hiding from her father in a closet with her younger sister and brother.
"He's not going to stay away from the kids much longer," Emily whispers to Matt who is on the phone with the man who has taken his family hostage. The standoff had started with the HT killing his soon to be ex-wife after. Matt's panicked look tells her he's out of ideas. Emily hears Laura start to cry louder.
"Laura, you are so brave," Emily assures the little girl. "I need you to be very quiet. I'm going to come in there soon to get you," she tells her praying that she's not lying to the little girl.
"We've got to go in," Matt decides not knowing how much longer he can keep the HT from hurting his kids.
"Can you keep the kids in the closet and out of harms way?" Frank asks Emily.
"Yeah, Just give me half a minute to prep them," she tells both Frank and Matt then turns her attention to preparing Laura and her little sister Alexandra for what is going to happen next.
"Laura, promise me one more time that you will stay in the closet until I come to get you," Emily makes the little girl assure her one more time. "Hold onto Alexandra and Jr. as tight as you can. Don't let them move," Emily adds.
"I will. I have their ears covered just like you said. We're ready," Laura tells her.
30 seconds later the HT is wounded and in custody and Emily has rushed into the house before it has even been secured with Matt at her heels.
"Do you want me to tell you now or later how stupid it was to come in here without your weapon drawn before anyone had said the HT and house were secure?" Matt asks when he catches up to her at the top of the landing.
Emily ignores him and makes her way to Laura's bedroom.
"Laura, it's Emily, I'm going to open the door okay?" she asks not wanting to scare the children.
"Ok," Laura replies.
Emily opens the door to find three children huddled together. Laura's hands are still over her brother and sisters ears as she presses them to her.
"Hi," she says kneeling down. "You are a brave, brave girl."
"I want my mommy," Laura's tears now flow freely that an adult is there to take care of them.
"I know," Emily sympathizes crawling into the closet. Laura's gaze goes to Matt still in the doorway of the closet.
"It's okay," Emily assures her. "This is my husband Matt. Remember I told you about him when we were on the phone." Matt scoots in beside Emily and says hi to the children. One year old Jr. pulls away from Laura and crawls into Matt's lap. Emily reaches out her hand for Laura's and takes a breath. "I know I said on the phone that your mommy was okay, but the truth is that she is not okay."
"I want to see her," Laura sniffles. Alexandra is still clinging tight to her sister and is crying for her mommy too.
"I'm sorry Laura, but you can't see her," Emily responds. She hates that she lied to the little girl on the phone, but she really had to do this in person.
"Because she's dead," Laura finishes bawling. Emily nods and a sobbing Laura crawls into her lap. Matt scoops Alexandra into his lap. She clings to him. Emily looks over at Matt and they both know this will be one of the worst cases of their careers.
"Why did my daddy do this?" Laura asks a while later.
"I don't know," even with all her psychology degrees Emily answers this question with all honestly as she rocks the little girl.
After a little coaxing Matt gets the younger kids to go with him to play in Alexandra's room while Emily and Laura stay in the closet and Emily tries to answer Laura's questions with appropriate information for a nine year old about why they couldn't save her mommy and about what will happen to her daddy and to them.
"Are you ready to come out?" Emily asks Laura after Cheryl gives them the okay that the father is off the premises and the mother's body has been taken out of the house.
It's only once they are outside that Cheryl tells them that the rain that's been pounding LA for the past 3 days has caused a mudslide and blocked the road. They are stuck until morning.
"Frank, what the hell does a 1 year old eat?" Matt asks his friend as he rummages through cabinets in the house trying to find dinner for the kids. He's realized in the short few hours he's been with the kids that there is a lot you need to know to have kids, and he definitely has a lot to learn. Frank helps him find and prepare a meal for everyone.
"How did you learn all this stuff?" Matt asks suddenly apprehensive about the prospect of having his own kids and being responsible for their well-being.
"That's what Emily is for," Frank laughs and Matt feels instantly better because she would know what to feed a one year old. Her neighbors when she lived at her condo had a one year old, and her brother has young boys.
Later Matt plays with the younger kids on the floor of the tent. "Do you want to play Trouble?" Emily asks Laura picking the game up off the pile of stuff she had taken from the house. Neither Laura or Alexandra had wanted to go back into the house after they were out, so they are spending the night in an FBI issue tent.
"No," is Laura's miserable reply. Emily senses Laura is struggling to deal with her intense sadness and now has also moved onto anger mixed in with despair over what has happened. She's been moody for the last hour or so.
"Ok," Emily replies. "Just let me know if you need anything," she adds briefly putting her hand on Laura's arm before getting up from where she'd been sitting on the cot next to Laura.
After about half an hour Laura comes over to where Emily is playing with Jr. and asks, "Will you read to me?"
"Of course," Emily replies. The psychologist part of her is wondering if Laura is looking to escape into a book the way Emily had when she was younger. Emily holds her arms out to Jr. and he toddles over to her so she can pick him up. They get cozy under some blankets on one of the three cots in the tent and Emily read's Charlotte's Web. Soon Alexandra wants to be close to her brother and sister and leaves Matt to crawl up on the other side of Emily.
The plan was to have the girls sleep together on a cot, Emily and Jr., and Matt would get his own, but seeing that this plan looks like it has gone out the window Matt pushes another cot right up against the one Emily and all of the kids are on. As soon as he is settled Alexandra crawls over by him.
"Want me to take him?" Matt asks noticing that Jr. is drifting off in Emily's arms. Matt lies down and she hands him the baby.
"I want to see," Alexandra reminds Emily through a yawn that she wants to see the pictures too.
"Lie down," both Matt and Emily say gently at the same time, "and I'll show you," Emily finishes.
20 minutes later the pictures are long forgotten and Alexandra is snoring softly cuddled up against Matt. Laura has fallen asleep against Emily.
Emily scoots Laura into sleeping position and tries to lie down in the little space she has.
"You're doing great with her," Matt whispers referring to Laura. "Today will be a little less traumatic because of you."
"Thanks," Emily replies. "You're doing pretty great too," she compliments reaching over and rubbing the back of the sleeping baby on Matt's chest.
Matt awakens a few hours later to a wet pants leg. He thinks about just ignoring it because if he gets up he is almost sure to wake everyone else up, but he doesn't want Alexandra to be uncomfortable. His decision is made for him as Alexandra wakes up whimpering.
"It's okay," Matt assures her. "You had an accident. We'll go get you cleaned up."
Sensing others awake Emily wakes up and Matt relays what has happened to her.
"Do you want me to go?" she asks.
"I can do it," he responds passing her Jr. who luckily does not wake up. "Are you warm enough? Do you need anything?"
"I think we are good," she tells him. "Extra clothes are in the blue bag," she adds.
Matt wraps Alexandra in his coat and carries her to the FBI trailer where he runs into Frank.
"How's it going?" Frank asks.
"Ok," Matt replies. "Just had a little accident."
After he helps Alexandra wash up and change her pajama's he finds a new coat to wrap around her and gives her an FBI cap from one of the closets.
Frank chuckles when he sees them. "You're looking good in one of these," he tells Alexandra tapping the brim of her cap. "And you look good with one of those," he adds to Matt referring to the child in Matt's arms.
"They can't go into the system for a day and a half," Matt walks out of the tent to find Emily arguing in a whisper with what he assumes is a social worker. She has Jr. wrapped in a blanket and pressed tight to her to keep him out of the misty morning air as much as possible.
"I understand your concern ma'am, but you have to be a licensed foster parent. I can't let you take the children with you," the social worker explains.
"It's ridiculous to put them into a foster home for one night. They are dealing with so much already. They trust my husband and me. Why put them through 24 hours of uncertainty when they could start healing with us? We're FBI agents. I'm sure we've had much more extensive background checks than any foster parent. Follow us to our house and see for yourself if you have to, but I am not letting these children out of my sight until their aunt and uncle arrive from Texas," Emily passionately makes her case.
"Let me call my boss and see if we can make an exception for FBI agents," the social worker tells the woman who is obviously not going to back down.
"You know if she actually does follow us home, we're screwed," Matt whispers coming up behind his wife as the social worker walks away punching a number into her phone. "We have extra beds, but none of them are actually set up. Also, I didn't clean up like I was supposed to last Saturday."
"You never clean up when it's your week. And you also never notice that I do it on Sunday."
"You're such a good wife," Matt compliments trying to make up for his failure to complete his household chores.
"Yeah, yeah I've heard that before." She's not really mad, especially now that she's springing three kids on him for the next day and a half.
"And those mama bear instincts are going to make you a great mother, not to mention I find you incredibly hot when you go into protective mode," he adds wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning in for a good morning kiss.
"Good morning girls," Matt says noticing they are being watched from the door of the tent. Emily and Matt head inside. The girls are quiet and sad as Matt and Emily help them get dressed. Emily explains that their aunt and uncle are coming for them.
"Can we stay with you until then?" Laura asks.
"I hope so," Emily replies.
Matt and Emily do get permission to take the kids home with them.
"I'm going to get Frank to make sure I did this right," Matt tells Emily referring to the installation of a car seat and a kid's seat into Emily's SUV.
"Good idea! I have no idea how to install those things," Emily replies.
Frank checks it out and gives them the okay to load up the kids and head home.
After a quiet ride to the Flannery house and unpacking all the gear they brought with them, Matt and Emily take the kids for a walk to the McDonald's on the main street not far from their house. Matt had tried to get the kids into singing and playing games in the car and is now trying to get them to play on the playset at McDonalds though the only one he is having any luck with is Jr.
"Are you girls ready to go home?" Emily asks. Alexandra looks tired and Laura just looks miserable. Both girls silently nod. At home Matt gets Jr. down for a nap on their bed surrounded by pillows so he doesn't fall out. Emily puts on some soft music and sits in the middle of the couch with Laura and Alexandra on either side. She strokes their hair. Alexandra falls asleep, but Laura doesn't.
"Want to read some more?" Emily whispers. Laura nods and they get up and Emily grabs a blanket to put over Alexandra and one for her and Laura. She and Laura snuggle into the chair and Emily begins reading as rain starts to fall again.
Matt wakes up from the short nap he'd taken in the late afternoon. He peeks over the pillows to see Jr. still tucked safely between and sleeping soundly. He finds the rest of the house quiet too since Alexandra is still asleep on the couch and Laura and Emily are asleep in the chair. Matt decides to make it his mission to get the kids to have a little fun tonight. It's still raining so they will need to find indoor things to do. He takes out the popcorn popper he and Emily had gotten for a wedding gift and digs through Emily's movie collection for a few Disney movies to choose from. What to do for supper stumps him until he remembers the last time Frank and Grace had them over for dinner they all made their own pizza. Frank's daughter Claire had a great time using the toppings to make a funny face on hers.
"What's the matter?" Emily asks Alexandra a little while later when she starts whimpering and pulling on Emily's shirt as she makes a bottle for Jr.
"Matt," Alexandra states pointing at Matt who has just put on his coat and is looking for his keys.
"Use your words," Emily encourages. "What about Matt?"
"Where is he going?"
"He's going to the store to get the ingredients for our pizza. Do you want to go?" Emily asks.
"Yes," Alexandra replies.
"Go get your coat," Matt encourages having overheard.
"I've noticed some regressive behaviors," Emily whispers about Alexandra. "It's completely normal for the trauma she's been through, but try to encourage her to act like a five year old," she advises.
Matt wants to pick her up and carry her to the car, but thinks of Emily's advice and instead offers his hand.
Later that night Emily awakens from a light sleep when Matt shuts off the DVD.
"Want to come to bed?" he asks after turning from the TV to see she is awake.
Emily surveys the sleeping children. "I think I'll stay here in case they wake up or need anything.
"Do you care if I go to bed? I'm exhausted," he yawns as he walks over to her.
"Go ahead. You did all the hard work with the pizza making and popcorn and getting the girls in pajamas. I'll take the night shift." She pushes herself up to a half sitting position to kiss him goodnight. "Is zombie free movie nights a good reason to have kids?" she teases.
"I could get used to zombie free movie nights." His voice is playful, but his eyes tell her he is serious. They share another soft, sweet goodnight kiss before Matt makes the short trip over to their bedroom to get some shuteye.
Two nights later Emily takes the opportunity of a commercial in the baseball playoff game Matt is watching to gingerly maneuver her way across the couch to cuddle with her husband who has been sprawled across the couch for the last hour watching the game as she's read a book.
"Are you going to finally tell me what you've been thinking about all night?" he asks letting her know that he knows she's been preoccupied. He wraps an arm around her as he makes more room for her next to him.
"I think we should start trying for a baby," she suggests looking into his eyes as her fingers caress his collar bone. She's been able to think of little else since the children left with their aunt and uncle at noon the day before.
"Are you sure we should decide this now? We've had a crazy couple of days. We both miss Laura, Alexandra, and Jr."
"Probably not, but we're ready. You were so great with the kids. I can't wait to see you as a father to our children. I want to have a baby with you."
"If you're ready then I'm ready," Matt kisses her enthusiastically ready to start on the baby-making right away.
Thanks for reading!