Exploring the Darkness by sasukelover154

Hello dear readers! I know this is long over due and I am not going to try and make excuses I will just let you get to reading.

But real quick I just want to let you all know that I will always accept fanart and that you can follow me on Twitter at EricaLorena93. Enjoy and please send me a review lovelies!

Disclaimer: do not own anything.

Warning: mild nudity, mild swearing, you guys know the drill.

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Sasuke spent the next few months avoiding his thoughts. He did not want to recognize his drunken realization. He did not want to give the thought any possible merit. He wanted nothing more than to forget everything.

Ino seemed to stare at him with the eyes of a puppy. Sasuke had not attempted to talk to her since the incident, and he had no intentions to change that any time soon. The last thing he wanted to do was hear about how much she wanted to be with him or any of the other girly things she had to say about him. I have no feelings for her, I never have and I know that I never will.

Naruto and Sai only seemed to get closer in their relationship; they were damn near inseparable during the school hours. Sasuke went out of his way to avoid them; he arrived right before his first class, he took the longest way possible to his classes, came into the classes they shared at the last possible minute, and left right after school ended. I just don't care to see them together, I just can't stand the thought of it, let alone seeing it.

He did not want to think about what happened in the blonde's apartment after they went to school, or what had occurred on that night. Whenever he thought of the blonde, all that came up was his vision while he had been making out with Ino. It had seemed so real, and he had liked it so much. He could not shake the image. He showed the real blonde no emotion, he did not look his way in class or in the hallway, and he treated him as if he did not exist in the slightest.

The next few months passed in a long, boring stupor. Sasuke went into school, ignored mostly everyone, and then always either went straight home or went to his brother's apartment to do his homework; that is if he really did not want to risk running into the couple.

Itachi never seemed to question why Sasuke was over so much lately, he just welcomed his brother and let him know that he was there. There was no way that Sasuke would be able to let his brother know about what happened, not until he was sure about it himself.

What the hell am I going to do about this?" Sasuke thought to himself one night as he lay in bed waiting for sleep to overtake him. Recently he had been plagued by dreams where a blonde would be constantly hovering over him. I don't have to do anything. I can pretend that it never happened. That night does not exist.

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Naruto and Sai were just finishing up with their third month of dating, and their official four-month anniversary was coming up on the weekend. The last four months had been great; Naruto and Sai spent most of their free time together; either some secret place in the town, or snuggled up on Naruto's couch. I love being with Sai, I can't stand it when I'm not with him and when I am all I want to do is stay with him and never let him go.

They had their problems though; it was not a perfect relationship, no matter how much Naruto lied to himself. Sai never seemed to open up to Naruto. He was always up for a hot make out session but as soon as Naruto tried to make conversation, he would say something perverted, and dive back in to kiss him. Naruto never tried to read too much into it, they had not been dating very long, so there was bound to be a period where they were getting used to how each other operated. He just tried to let what was meant to happen, happen. We're just getting started, usually the beginning of a relationship is just physical stuff anyway, and then we really start to get to know each other. I just wish we would hurry up and get to that point already, I just care about him so much…

Naruto sat in class on a Friday afternoon, he had mentally checked out a while ago. Their anniversary was tomorrow and he had no clue what he was going to do. He rest his chin in the palm of his hand as he stared blankly at the chalkboard.

I don't know what to do for our anniversary. Naruto whined to himself. This is the first time that I have ever actually been with someone long enough to give a damn about an anniversary. Usually I'm only with a girl for a month or two before I bail because I just don't feel the same way, but this time I actually really like him, and want to make him happy. I want to make this special for him too, this isn't just about me…I know this is new to him too…What can I do? He ran a few ideas through his mind but ended up just shaking his head out of frustration. I don't want to be too cliché…so no dinner and a movie, that's just unoriginal and says "I put no thought into this whatsoever and only thought of this last minute so you would not be pissed at me", and the only reason I am thinking last minute is because I haven't been able to think of anything. Maybe…I could get flowers, some of his favorite candy, and rent a movie for the two of us to watch? Maybe I could even surprise him, like tell him I can't hang out tonight and then show up at his house. I think that would be good for our first real anniversary. Nothing too intense, but nice enough that we will remember it for a long time. Naruto smiled to himself, pleased with the mental image of how the night would go. And I think I know just what would make it even more special.

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"Something has been wrong with you lately." Itachi did not pose this as a question; he mentioned it nonchalantly over dinner on Thursday night. Sasuke had come to his brother's apartment once again after school and had been doing his homework up until it had been time to eat.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sasuke answered, putting the bite he had been about to take into his mouth.

"Ever since I picked you up from that party and gave you those piercings, there has been something off about you." Itachi cocked his head at his younger brother and raised an eyebrow as if to challenge the accusation.

Sasuke did not attempt to disagree; he simply rolled his eyes and returned to his food.

"I've seen you more in these past couple months than I have probably in the last year. You barely speak, even to me, you seem more cold and distant that you usually are, your schoolwork hasn't been suffering at all because you spend almost all of your time either studying or doing homework. You're a teenager; shouldn't you be out getting into trouble or something to that affect?"

Sasuke shot his brother a cold glare over his glass of water as he brought it up to his lips. "There is nothing wrong, Itachi, nothing that needs to be talked about."

Itachi looked at him skeptically but let the subject drop after a few moments of looking at him knowingly. I'll talk to Itachi about it eventually…or never…We'll see how things go. I haven't made up my mind yet.

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Sai pecked his boyfriend on the lips as they met up in the hallway after school. "Hey you." He said with a smirk as Naruto grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Hey, how has your day been?" Naruto asked as they began walking down the hall to the doors that would lead them out to the parking lot. The halls were emptying quickly as it was Friday and teenagers were dying to get out and start their weekend.

"It's been alright, much better now that I know I get to spend time with you." Sai sent him a wink and a flirty smile.

"About that, Sai, I don't think we can hang out tonight." Naruto looked over at his boyfriend with a look of sorry set on his face.

"Are you serious? Why not?" Sai whined as they exited the building and entered the parking lot. "This has been the routine for so long now, what could possibly have come up?"

"I have some family nearby that have been bugging me to get together since I moved here; finally I had to give in. So I'm going over there tonight." Naruto felt bad for lying but he wanted to make it a special night for both of them, he was sure Sai would forgive him later, after he found out the reason behind his fib.

"Yeah alright, I guess I'll just find something else to do." Sai replied with a pout on his face.

"I'm sorry, I really am, tomorrow we can hang out all day, I promise." Naruto gave his hand a squeeze. They had arrived at Naruto's car, Sai still sporting a sad pout and Naruto feeling guilty for having put it there.

"Well my parents are gone this weekend, so tomorrow why don't you come over to my house?" He leaned in to give Naruto a brushing kiss, "I'll even show you my room." Sai whispered into his lips after the kiss. Sai took a blank sheet of paper from his backpack and a pen, and wrote down his address. He folded it up and slipped it into the back pocket of Naruto's jeans, taking just a second to linger.

"So then, I'll see you tomorrow?" Naruto questioned in a whisper, not trusting his voice to speak loud lest he give up on his plan completely.

"Sounds good to me, I look forward to it." Under the flirty exterior, Naruto could tell that Sai was still upset, he tried to hide it by hitting on Naruto, but he knew the truth underneath.

To make it up to his boyfriend, Naruto gave him a long, lingering kiss, even though there may have been nearly a hundred students walking by, he did not care, he wanted to show how much he cared for his boyfriend.

They exchanged goodbyes and as Naruto pulled out of the parking lot to begin his preparations, he watched his boyfriend in the rearview mirror begin to walk home.

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Sai kicked at a rock moodily as he walked across the parking lot. I was really hoping to make tonight special. I actually remembered that it was our four-month anniversary and I was hoping to do something with him to celebrate. I was really looking forward to it. This is the first time that I have cared about someone enough to give a shit about something as stupid as an anniversary. I've never even been with someone this long, usually they only last a few weeks, maybe a month at the longest, but never four months. And never have I thought that I would want to stay with someone even longer. I thought he would be the kind of guy that would be all into this kind of lovey-dovey shit. But he doesn't even remember. He made plans on our anniversary and didn't even invite me to come along. He probably isn't as serious about me as I am about him…I mean I know he likes me and all but it seems like if he really cared for me then we would be spending the night together. Maybe he doesn't want his family to see me, maybe he doesn't want them to know about me…If that wasn't the case then it seems like he could have asked me to come with him, so that we could be together…I was even going to ask him to stay with me tonight. I thought it would be nice since I thought we were getting to be somewhat serious that we could take that step and actually stay the night.

"Hey Sai!" Sai recognized the yelling voice as Sakura's. He turned around to find where she was and found her off to his right, maybe twenty feet away from where he stood in the parking lot.

"Hi, Sakura, what's up?" Sai asked, trying to sound more cheerful as he walked over to meet her, the last thing he needed was for her to be concerned about him, although he knew his face would give him away no matter how hard he tried.

"Nothing much, just looking for something to do tonight, what about you?" She knitted her eyebrows together and cocked her head in concern. "You look upset about something."

"Well I had planned on doing something with Naruto, but he cancelled on me last minute, so I have nothing to do now." Sai shrugged his shoulders, as if the whole thing did not faze him, even though he was still deeply hurt.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, that really sucks." Sakura put her hand on the top of his arm and gave it a light squeeze, her eyes showing sympathy. "Do you want to do something with me instead? I mean we're both free anyway."

"I guess so." A small smile began to creep onto the edges of his mouth. Maybe tonight won't be all for nothing after all, maybe I can have a good time even without Naruto, and plus I'll see him tomorrow, and maybe he'll stay with me then. "Do you want to come over to my house? My parents are gone for the weekend so we could watch movies or something."

"Sounds good to me, I don't have a car though." Sakura clasped her hands behind her back and swayed slightly back and forth.

"That's okay, I usually just walk home, it isn't that far, I promise." Sai set a small smirk on his lips and turned in the direction of his house. "Thanks for keeping me company, I was kind of bummed."

"No problem at all, what are friends for?" Sakura replied with a wink as she caught up with him and set a similar stride.

Maybe tonight won't be a total loss after all. A smirk set on Sai's lips as they left the parking lot. Maybe he doesn't think we're that serious, but that's okay, I'm alright with not being completely serious.

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Naruto went back to his apartment and began to get ready for the night. He started by taking a shower to freshen up after a long day at school. Afterwards he picked out what he would wear for the night, he decided on a faded orange polo shirt that fit him comfortably and a pair of comfortable dark jeans paired with his usual converse. When he was sure his hair and outfit were perfect he crossed into his bedroom to ready an overnight bag, just in case he was able to stay the night. Maybe tonight will be the night that Sai lets me stay with him. Maybe in the morning his face will be the first thing I see. I can only hope that tonight goes well.

In his bag, Naruto placed the toiletries he would need, a pair of pajama pants, and a change of clothes for the next day, he would hate for the neighbors to see him wearing the same clothes he showed up in, though if it came down to that he could just borrow something from Sai.

Naruto fixed himself something to eat first, he was not sure how long the rest of his errands would take and did not want to risk Sai having already eaten dinner by the time he got over there. After he put his dishes in the sink it was about six in the evening, he grabbed his duffel bag from his bedroom, grabbed his keys and exited his apartment.

As Naruto was opening the door, he saw Sasuke walking down the stairs to the lobby. The raven nearly looked over at him, but almost seemed to think better of it and continued looking straight as he walked down the stairs. Naruto turned around, made a long ordeal about locking the door behind him, and waited until the sounds of footsteps disappeared before he headed down himself. His footsteps echoed in the empty stairwell around him, coming back to reverberate quietly in his ears in a way that made him feel surrounded.

Naruto noticed that Sasuke's car was gone from the parking lot as he walked over to his car on the other side of the lot. He shoved his duffel bag in the backseat. I would put it in the front seat but I don't want to bring it in when I get there, just in case he doesn't want me to stay, I don't want to seem like I'm being needy or pushy. I'll just come get it if I need to.

The video rental place was closer to Naruto then the grocery store so he figured he would stop there first. He looked through all of the horror movies but none of them looked like they would be good enough to watch on their first anniversary, so he gave up on them. Nothing seemed to be entertaining enough, after searching the store for nearly an hour, he finally stumbled across something in the "Favorites" section, which seemed ironic, though interesting. After purchasing "Brokeback Mountain" for the night, he got back in his car and headed to the nearest grocery store.

The grocery store did not have much of a selection for flowers, so he settled with the best-looking bouquet of roses he could find. With the beautiful red flowers proudly bloomed in his hands he made his way over to the candy section and picked out a brightly packaged bag of gummies. Lastly, he picked out a heartfelt card, something really sentimental and meaningful with beautiful artwork bedecking the front and a gorgeous poem on the inside. Naruto made his purchases with a huge grin on his face and could not help but be a little nervous for Sai's reaction when he showed up.

By the time Naruto had found Sai's house, it was almost eight at night. The sky was just starting to get dark, the first couple of stars starting to peek out while the moon was beginning to rise.

The house was located on the end of the street, on the right side was another house, while on the other side there was an empty lot filled mostly with large trees and bushes. Naruto pulled up to Sai's house but instead of stopping, he pulled forward in front of the empty lot and parked there, so that Sai would not see his car right away.

Naruto took a moment to prepare himself, his heart was pounding in his chest, his breathing was shaky as he tried to take deep breaths to calm his nerves, and his hands were trembling as he clutched the wheel like he would fall if he did not. Everything will be fine. This is your first anniversary. He will be so surprised. He is going to love this so much, you spent so much time to prepare for this, he won't be able to help but love it. There is no reason to be so nervous. Naruto closed his eyes for a brief moment before he took the keys out of the ignition. Everything will go fine. Everything will go fine. Everything will go fine. He kept this going through his mind like a mantra.

Before gathering his items, Naruto pulled the card from the grocery bag and grabbed a pen from the center counsel. He only had one thing he wanted to add to the almost perfect card. Inside, beneath the beautifully scripted type, he wrote three little words; words that were so short but to him meant more than anything else did in the world. His hand shook ferociously as he tried to write as legibly as possible, in the end the words were a little difficult to read but he knew Sai would be able to see them. I've never said this to anyone else before, and I'm glad he's my first.

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At about six in the evening Sasuke decided he needed to leave his apartment to keep control of his sanity. Since it was the weekend he did not want to spend his entire Friday night doing his homework, but he knew at the same time that he could not go out with anybody from school, for fear that there would be a repeat of the last time. There was a dark sweater on the floor by the door, he picked it up gently, dusted it off and threw it over his arm with a sigh. Maybe I just need a walk to help clear my head.

As he walked out his door he did not even bother to grab his keys, he did not want to have to fuss with locking the door. He simply left all rational thought behind and just left. Maybe what I need is a little irrationality, something that I normally would not do.

Sasuke walked down the stairs, his hands in his pockets and trying to stay away from his thoughts when the main source of his thoughts exited his own apartment as he was passing. Sasuke almost made the mistake to look at the blond, but before he could fully turn his head, he looked down and continued down the stairs.

He exited the building and immediately set his body in the direction of the sidewalk. I don't want to drive anywhere, I just want to feel the pavement underneath my feet and not want to have to worry about parking or anything.

The air around him was still relatively warm from the day, so he did not need his sweater yet. He did not know where he was going, that was part of the beautiful mystery. I don't want to have a plan right now. I just want to go and see what happens. I want to be alone with my thoughts but not think at all. I don't want to worry about who sees me or what others might think. There is something beautiful about the night. It's so concealing, like I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not. The night hides all faults. I can see why so many animals are nocturnal; I can't wait for the night to come. The darkness will help to shield me.

He synchronized the sounds of his footsteps with his breathing, to help relax him as he wandered around the streets that were slowly beginning to empty. The children were retreating into their houses for dinner, while most of the cars on the road pulled into driveways and let out the working parents.

A light breeze forced Sasuke to put on his sweater, as the evening wore on he knew it would only grow colder.

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Naruto shut his car door quietly behind him, so as not to tip off his boyfriend that he had a visitor. He tucked the card into the top of the roses and held them in his right hand, slipped the movie under the same arm, and held onto the candy in his left hand. As he walked up the sidewalk to the house Naruto could not help but be excited, he was still nervous and shaking all over, but he was happy, because this was for the most important person to him.

The sun began to set behind him, making the sky turn dark but beautiful as he walked. As the minutes passed, the moon shone brighter and the stars started to pop into the darkness one by one, each one giving off just a small hint of light in the darkening surroundings.

The house appeared to be mostly dark as he approached it; the only light seemed to be the flicker of what was probably the TV screen in the living room. Naruto walked up the steps of the porch being careful not to make any noise so he would not tip off Sai inside. Luckily, the porch seemed to be relatively new so it was not hard to be silent as he made it to the front door. He stood in front of the beautiful white wood door and tried to gather his thoughts to stop the shaking in all of his limps. He remembered that Sai never locked the door, so he should be able to just walk right in.

What if Sai isn't home? What if he went out somewhere and won't be back tonight? Or what if his parents came home early and I get him in trouble by coming here? Or what if they come home while I'm here? I should have thought this through better, I could really get him into trouble. What was I thinking? Well I can't exactly leave now, I can't just leave, I have to go through with it. It's now or never.

Gathering all his courage and after taking a deep breath through his nose, Naruto grabbed the doorknob in his left hand with the candy still in it and turned it, swinging the door open into Sai's house. Naruto could not help the smile that came across his face as he took his first step into Sai's house, no matter how nervous he was he could not deny the fact that he was also both happy and excited for the night to come.

The door opened right into the living room where Naruto could see the faint flicker of the TV that illuminated the couch about ten feet away. However, if the TV had been off Naruto may have been able to assume that the house was empty, but this was most definitely not the case, the house was not empty. Sai was not alone.

On the couch with his boyfriend was Sakura, and they were not simply watching TV. The couch was a tangle of limbs, he was unsure of which ones belonged to whom in the mostly dark room. Sai was crouched over Sakura; his shirt lay in the corner of the room, his pale chest seeming to glow in the slight light. Sakura currently had her hands fumbling over the front of Sai's pants, all of her clothes accept for her undergarments were discarded, leaving her to be almost fully revealed to the boy above her. They seemed glued together at the lips, unable to separate, even for breaths. They were completely oblivious to the door opening, perhaps from the fact that it was almost equally dark both inside and outside, or maybe because they were too wrapped up in their activities to care what was going on around them. If Naruto had to bet, he would choose the latter.

Naruto felt a pain in his heart that radiated to the tips of his toes. Tears stung behind his eyes but he refused to cry at that moment. The smile that had previously lit up his face turned down into a scowl of hatred at the act that was happening right in front of his eyes. He had never felt so betrayed in his life; it felt as though poison was pulsing through his veins instead of blood. It hurt to suck in every staggered breath that ripped through his lungs.

"I can't believe you." Naruto managed to speak from between the waves of pain that seemed to emit from his very brain. He threw the bouquet of flowers into the room, just short of the couch, and the movie fell to his feet as he moved his arm. The roses flew from the cellophane cone and scattered on the floor between Naruto and his cheating boyfriend, the card went the farthest, ending up on its own just inches from the front of the couch. He tossed the candy amongst the already made mess and turned from the pair that was just taking notice to their surroundings.

A look of pure horror crossed Sai's face as he jumped up from Sakura and got to his feet amidst the dispersed tokens of love. "Oh shit, Naruto….Hey."

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Author's Note:

Are we surprised that Sai cheated? Not really, but poor Naruto being on the ass end of that. Are we happy about Sai cheating? Or do we want to punch him straight in the face? Let me know guys! I would love to get your artistic interpretation of this by means of fanart!

Send me a review of what you thought of this chapter, I am always interested in what you beautiful people have to say!

Also you can follow me on Twitter at EricaLorena93 and find out what goes on in my sometimes exciting life! I should be the only one to pop up so you should follow me and see what's on my mind!

Love you all as always!

xxx sasukelover154