The Reason

Summary: Ever since that fateful day at the Grand Prix Banquet, Victor Nikiforov has found it difficult to ignore the pull on his emotions that younger skater Yuri Katsuki caused.

Author's Note: I changed the summary of this story because it was pointed out to me that I've been straying from Victor's perspective as the summary promised. Though I initially wanted to tell this story from Victor's POV when I rewatched the series there were distinct parts of the anime that focused from his POV and I thought it best to add variety, particularly from characters we don't really get a chance to know more about. Hope this clears up any confusion!

Chapter 10: High Expectations

Guang Hong hung up his phone with a loud sigh and flopped back on his bed. His short program performance hadn't gone as well as he'd hoped. Nerves and intimidation from the other skaters had his stomach tying in knots, and not even encouragement from his friends and family had been enough to snap him out of the haze.

Now in order to even have a chance at making it on the podium and moving onto the Grand Prix he'd have to skate perfectly. His stomach twisted and he rolled onto his side curling up and digging his fingers into the sheets.

The knock at the door had him gasping and he lifted his head up, brushing away the burning tears that had formed. He wondered if his coach had forgotten her key. He stood up and opened the door gasping a bit as Leo stood there holding up snacks and drinks.

"Pardon the intrusion…" Leo stepped past him and walked to the table to set down the snacks. "I spotted our coaches having drinks in the lobby. It looks like they're gonna be out late. Females yah know, once they start talking they never shut up." Leo grinned. "Let's have a slumber party and lock them out huh?"

"Leo-kun… mmmm," his lips twitched in a smile and he closed and locked the door before walking over and sitting cross legged on the bed. "What did you bring?"

"Some goods from the U.S… we've Doritos, Pepsi, and my personal favorite "Little Debbies." He grinned and popped open a nutty bar and offered him one. "I'm only allowed to snack once a month, and I thought now might be the perfect time."

"Eh?" Guang Hong took the bar and sniffed it suspiciously before nibbling. His eyes went bright and wide. "Wha… it's so good! I never get to eat foods like this. My coach keeps me on a strict diet."

"Normally I am too, but Carla believes in moderation. What's life if you can't occasionally eat and do the things you like?" Leo winked and munched on a Nacho Dorito. "That chocolate rush certainly put the smile back on your face. I'm glad, I was worried you'd lost your fighting spirit."

"Mmmm…" Guang Hong lowered the half eaten bar from his lips and stared at the floor. "I think my chances of going to the Grand Prix final are slim to none at this point."

"Why do you say that?" Leo set his food aside and turned his chair fully to face him. "You did pretty well… your routine just wasn't as high difficulty as some of the others… and technically you skated better than Chris did. I'm sure if you go out with a dynamite performance tomorrow, you'll move up the rankings no problem."

"How can you say that!?" Guang Hong stood up shaking with anger. "You know as well as I do even if I skated my program perfectly I have no chance of coming close to skaters like you and Yuri!"

"Guang Hong…" Leo tooks his hand sitting him down again and offering a comforting smile. "I won skate America, and sure that gives me a leg up and best chance to make it the Grand Prix… but even I'm nervous about tomorrow. I don't have quads like the others do… I rely heavily on performance and interpretation for my score totals and even then it might not be enough to carry me into the next stage… but I haven't given up my fight yet. Neither should you."

"What are you talking about Leo-kun…" Guang Hong's eyes sparkled with admiration and affection. "I've seen your free program, it's beautiful. Your work is so expressive and poetic. You're bound to get recognized for it."

"That's what Carla keeps telling me… but," Leo met Guang Hong's eyes and the first tear fell catching Guang Hong off guard. "To be honest… I'm scared to death of them."

"Th-them?"

"Phitchit… Chris...Georgi… Yuri…. All of them are incredible performers. Every skater here has something memorable and inspiring about their skating… and I feel like I'm fighting just to stay afloat. I'm even scared of you… I've skated against you before and I know what you're capable of Guang Hong. So don't you dare sell yourself short!"

"Leo!" Guang Hong hugged him tight and gripped the back of his shirt. Leo clung back and buried his face in his neck. His teeth grit and he let the tears fall freely. The feel of his tears and shake of his body caused Guang Hong to hug him tighter and stroke his back comfortingly. "Don't cry Leo… no matter what I'm on your side. Don't think of me as your enemy… think of me as your ally! Let's fight together!"

"Mm," Leo nodded his head in agreement and because it was too comforting to pull away he held onto Guang Hong just a little longer.

~Cup of China: Day Two~

He hadn't slept, Victor frowned down at Yuri looking at the bags under his eyes and drained expression. He knew from the movement of the bed that Yuri had tossed and turned, the excitement and nerves all coming into play. Sighing Victor shook his head.

"Yuri, you didn't sleep did you?"

"Huh? Oh, yes I did… uh sort of…" Yuri tried to lie, but found it hard to do so with Victor's calm and charming expression eating at his conscience. He winced as Victor grabbed him by the ear and tugged him out of the ring. "Ite-te-te Victor! Where are we going?"

"Back to the hotel," He yanked Yuri all the way there despite his groans and complaints. He had to practically force the boy to strip down before tossing him into the bed. "You can't possibly skate well with only a fitful hours of sleep. Just nap until the event starts this evening. Don't worry, I used to nap before events all the time."

In fact he felt like doing so now. Victor had worries of his own and it was comforting to curl up on Yuri, and as an added bonus it would keep him still looking enough to nap.

What he didn't know was that his presence made it impossible for Yuri to find sleep. Ever since he admitted to himself he was sexually attracted to Victor, Yuri had a hard time controlling his urges. He wasn't entirely sure how Victor would react to them, and it made him extremely nervous.

He'd come to depend on Victor, expected him to be around all the time… But the reality was that her had no idea how Victor felt about him. Could be this was all just a whim of his and he'd back out sry the first sign of failure. If he didn't perform well today… what would Victor do then?

Surely Victor wouldn't stick around with someone who choked after the first signs of success? Nor would he openly stay with someone who would ruin his image by being a complete failure. It wasn't just Yuri being judged but Victor too. They're were judging him a coach seeing if the great skater could actually be someone's coach. Victor was a good coach, a great coach, and Yuri didn't want people to think badly of him just because he wasn't up to Victor's level.

Over and over that teeter totter of emotions went up and down back and forth on him. He couldn't nap, couldn't rest, and Victor could see what it was doing to Yuri's psyche. He prohibited Yuri from doing jumps in his warm up because he knew if they didn't go well it would just make the situation worse.

Naturally Yuri disobeyed him and he sighed heavily at the look in his face. "Yuuuuurrrri…" Victor groaned and pat his shoulders. "Why do you never listen to what I say? We're you always this disobedient with your other coaches?"

"Gomen Nasai." Yuri grumbled crouching and slumped down the hall with him.

"Oh well most skaters land the jumps they club in warm up. It's natural to get the shakes out first thing am I right?"

Victor tried to laugh it off, but he could see this was much more serious than he feared. As the other skaters performed and did reasonably well he could see Yuri's confidence shrink and shrink. His own heart was shaking, and he feared Yuri would psyche himself out before he could even get out onto the ice.

He felt the eyes behind them and tensed up when he saw cameras pointed in their direction. That wasn't good, it would be bad for Yuri's fans to see him in such a state. Grabbing the back of his jacket he yanked Yuri away, and felt him slump behind him.

He needed to find someplace quiet for him to warm up, someplace where they could have some privacy, and he could talk to Yuri and calm him down. Yuri was not a very sociable person, the more people surrounded him the more nervous he got. So thinking quickly he tugged him downstairs to the parking garage. They both could hear the echoes of the competition above them, but he quickly rectified that by making Yuri wear his earbuds.

Christoph Giocometti takes over first place over China's Guang Hong Ji by a wide margin.

"Wait.." Yuri stopped him from putting the earbuds in and he stared at the ceiling. "What did he say, what are the standings?"

"Easy Yuri, take a deep breath." Victor held out his hands to soothe him. Yuri's wild eyes stared at him and he took a deep breath nodding.

"Right, sorry… I just-"

"It's okay, Yuri. Come on put the buds in and let's warm up, okay. Focus only on your own performance." He placed the buds in his ears and stroked his hair back. Some hairs were coming out of place so he smoothed them down. "There, that's better."

Yuri immediately calmed and closed his eyes letting Victor's touch soothe his jarring nerves. He didn't want to disappoint Victor. He didn't want to let him down. Victor was being so patient with him, and he was a wreck.

You have confidence in me… that's good. Keep having confidence in me… i don't have nearly enough for myself. Support me, guide me, help me!

Yuri seemed to ease through the next few warm ups. Victor heard the roar of the crowd above him as Pitchit's perfect performance sent them into crazed cheers. He made the mistake of looking up and turning his attention to the noise, and ended up distracting Yuri's concentration.

Yuri saw the worried look on his face, the brooding wonder had him removing his buds… and he heard the cheers, and the praise. Pitchit had taken up over Chris and was now in first. Everyone was peforming so well… what if everyone got good scores and he bungled it? What if…

His face was petrified with fear, and Victor gasped and slapped his hands on his ears, anger and frustration twisting inside.

"DON'T LISTEN!"

Yuri had never heard Victor shou like this before. It scared and embarrassed him. Maybe Victor wasn't as confident as he believed him to be. Is that why Victor brought him down here? Was to hide his failures? Hurt and resentment had him shutting his eyes tightly. Why did he have to be so pathetic? Why couldn't he just relax for once in his life. What was wrong with him?!

"Victor…" He touched his hands over his ears. "It's almost time, we should get back. I'm up soon."

He had to put on a brave face. He had to go up and show people he wasn't weak. He couldn't let them see this pathetic side of himself. He stepped away shaking a bit as Victor's touch fell from his face…

"Yuri…"

Pausing halfway through the walk Yuri glanced back at Victor. He saw the sharp calculating look in his coach's eyes and something twisted up his gut making him want to hurl.

"It's partially my fault if you mess up and miss the podium. I'll take responsibility and resign as your coach."

What? What did he just say? He was resigning… he was quitting being his coach? No… No he was lying… Yuri could tell he was testing him, wondering what he'd do if he was suddenly left without Victor's support.

You want to see if I'd break? You want to see if I can skate without you?

What the Fuck!?

Tears streamed down his cheeks, half in sadness, and half in bitter rage.

"Why would say that to me? Like you're testing me?" The angry sobs pushed out and he shook with it now.

"I'm sorry, Yuri I didn't mean it-"

"I'm used to failing and being responsible for my own mess-ups… but It's different because I don't want my mistakes reflecting on you!" Damn it he just couldn't stop the tears. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides. "I had thoughts that you might secretly want to quit."

"I was just saying that, of course I-"

"I KNOW!" Yuri shouted. You idiot! Yuri added in his head and grit his teeth trying to stop the sobs but they just kept coming.

"I'm not very good at people crying." Victor admitted sheepishly. "I never know what to say. Should I just kiss you or something?"

"No! Just have more faith to win then I do. You don't have to say anything I just need you to stand by me, Victor!"

The words hit Victor like a freight train. Just… stand by him? Don't say anything? What kind of coach says nothing to their student?

Victor pondered that through their walk back to the rink. Leo had fumbled through his free program and despite the sweet message his performance gave he had too many technical mistakes to warrant a place on the podium.

Georgi was up now and his own performance was suffering from technical faulting. It looked like

Phitchit and Chris were the scores to beat which eased some of the tension in Victor's shoulders. Still hex was uneasy. Yuri was clearly upset and he had no way of comforting him or knowing how to support him.

"Just have more faith that I'm going to win than I do."

He should have taken the chance to ask Yakov about situations like this. He truly was at a loss of what to do. He watched Yuri take a lap around the ice before conning back to him and motioned for a tissue.

Tell me Yuri, his eyes pleading to his student. Tell me how to help you. Yuri looked up from Blowing his nose, his lips frowning and eyes still a bit red from crying.

Victor held out his hand for the used tissue… and fought to catch it as Yuri dropped it just out of his reach. He felt Yuri press his finger in the center of his part.

I'm sorry I made you worry…

Victor grunted and flushed as he lifted his head and stroked the spot Yuri touched. The boy hadn't said a word to him, but the poke was as intimate as an endearment to him. Was he trying to console him?

He's so different from the man I met months ago. Victor thought slowly lowering his hand to his lips. I don't understand his actions anymore, he keeps changing and shifting on me. One moment he'd be timid as a lamb, the next skating with sexual fervor and intimacy, then he'd be a crying wreck and now… Now…

Yuri began his program a smile breaking on his lips making Victor frown.

Why the hell is he smiling?

The first jump combo Was landed and the first wave of relief swamped over him. He pumped his fists.

I don't know what you're thinking Yuri, but whatever it is keep it up.

Victor carefully watched his facial expressions, his variety of emotions flashing on his face. He watched Yuri grit his teeth a if he were annoyed before going into the salchow and watched him land it smoothly.

"That was beautiful!" Victor shouted and couldn't keep the grin off his face. The change in Yuri, no matter what the cause of it was, Was helping Yuri to become stronger. Victor could see it now. Just by watching him skate, Victor could see the growth in him, the need to become more than he had been.

His spread eagle into the ina bauer took his breath away and even though Yuri touched on his triple axel and over rotated his second combo Victor felt his heart racing and his eyes swimming.

The step sequence was so dramatic and passionate Victor felt his breath begin to labor just watching him… He held his breath a the Quad toe loop came up… that was the wrong approach, he had too much speed, what was he doing…

He gasped.

A quad flip?! He didn't land it but there were enough rotations and the attempt alone was a feat not even he had dared tried.

He could hear the consensus of appraisal around the audience and had to hide his face behind his hands to stop the tears. His smile came fast as he now he finally understood. To Yuri, motions and gestures could say a whole lot more than meaningless words.

This gesture, the fact he did the Quad flip, his signature jump...made Victor want to cry. It was like a silent promise that Yuri would strive to better himself, strive to reach the top and go for gold… Just as like his idol.

God he wanted desperately to hug him. He wanted to hold him tight, thank him. He wanted to...

He lowered his hands and raced to the rink exit where Yuri was rushing to him.

"Victor! See? I did great, right?"

Victor panted a moment, lifted his head and with an affectionate smile leaped up, arms out, and kissed Yuri full on the mouth.

The skaters eyes bugged out as he felt the press of his coach's lips against his. The warm soft buds, the heat of his touch and the weight of his body knocking him backwards until they sprawled across the ice.

Yuri blinked a few times in disbelief at what had happened. Victor was clinging to him, holding on and breathing hard as if he had been the one skating.

"That was the only thing I could think of to surprise you more than you've surprised me." Victor admitted lifting his head up and smile down at him.

"Well, it worked." Yuri smiled affectionately.

Victor laughed tearily and pressed his forehead to Yuri's. His student was a constant surprise to him, and little by little had been teaching him to appreciate every moment of his life, and of their experience together. Was it really no wonder that Victor had fallen for him?

*le Sigh* I love this part of the show… I hope you guys liked my rendition of it. I had wanted to feature more of Leo and Guang Hong but the scenes made this segment run pretty long and it didn't really seem to flow well with the rest of the chapter so I cut it to just the beginning.

Real quick note, I've posted this on my Facebook page but I want to make sure everyone's made aware of my future fic plans. I am going to include some Yurio x Otabek in this particular story, but I've started rough drafting the first chapter of their solo fic which will take place after the events of the Grand Prix Final and forward. I'm thinking of either calling it "Catcall" or "The Love of a Soldier." Tell me what you guys think, which name should I use or maybe you all have a better title in mind. Either way I plan to release the first chapter after "The Reason" is concluded.

Next Chapter: The Ice Tiger