Delia

Chapter 10: Envious

Envy. Jealousy. Coveting. I have never wanted someone I didn't have the ability to seduce, steal away, or to simply have. Challenges are always more amusing when one has the upper hand, when one truly knows that no matter the obstacles, one will be victorious. I suppose, I have been spoiled.

Never had I thought two of my lovelies would find more intrigue between them, then with me. Their depression which shines in their eyes and demeanor constantly morose; it's quite hard to enjoy myself when I am not joined with fervor… but rather grudging reluctance.

But in the shadows tonight, I did not see my Delia moping or my darling Louis in a melancholic state. No in the dark on the veranda they were whispering the way two lovers would. Delia leaning forward on the rail, her face tilted upward gazing at the stars and Louis standing behind her wrapping his arms around her. She seems to lean back against him.

"Was it so hard for you, Louis?" Not looking at him. But they were comfortable enough not to need eye contact to display their intimacy.

"Yes."

"Did it get any easier?" She grasped one of his hands and gently traced her fingers over his palm.

"It did, but once it did I suppose it makes one more of a monster." Sadness oozed from every word.

I roll my eyes. Their mini melodrama. They find comfort in this. In each other's arms and whispering their questions and secrets and deepest desires. I find this so weak. So pathetic.

"You are not a monster." She said firmly.

"I am." He was easing back, away.

That's right. Leave it be, Louis. I would share anything with him, but I have a feeling if I intruded on this moment between them they would separate and leave me. They would only find comfort in one another, but not me. I always seem to be the source of their torment. They are in denial, I suppose. Their torment is of their own making.

"You are not." She was determined. She whirled around to face him.

I slunk further into the darkness and hid myself so I may still watch the exchange. I felt burning jealousy for never having this sort of encounter with nothing but their familiarity to spur the emotions between them. Their depression they share.

"You do not know some of the things I have done. If you did, you would not hold me in such high esteem. You would be disgusted by me, Delia; you would hate me for what I have done."

Her small hands cupped his face. "You've been nothing but kind and patient with me. You have remorse and a conscience. You have been this way for decades… much longer than I have and the fact that you still have some form of humanity. That you do not revel in the blood… that you are not a sadistic murderer. I love you for that!"

A smile graced his face. "But what of my past. At some points in my existence I have reveled in the blood, even for a moment. I starved myself and then I lost control and in those moments while I was ripping into the flesh it felt right. I wanted more and more. That's how I nearly killed Claudia. I turned her because I was so careless and Lestat turned her… leading me around by my guilt."

"The past is the past." She raked her hands into his hair.

"You relive it more often then not, sweetheart." He cupped her cheek in his hand.

"I am working to overcome that. I want to. I do."

"I will help you." They were leaning closer. Her head was tilted slightly to look into his eyes. But her gaze traveled to his lips every so often.

She stood up on her toes closing even more space between them and he met her. His lips crushing hers. He pulled her against him and she looped her arms around his neck and giggled. He pulled back a moment and chuckled.

"You bit me."

"Sorry," she giggled.

"No you are not."

"Kiss me again, Louis." She whispered.

He complied and picked her up and spun her around which elicited more giggles and sat her on the stone railing where she wrapped her legs around him pulling him impossibly closer.

"I love you, sweetheart."

"And I, you."

I walked away. I couldn't take this any longer. I suppose my face reflected my disgust at the moment. They show me so little affection, but find solace in each other. They are mine. They should not feel as if they belong to each other… it is not right.

I suppose I will have to do something about this.