Chapter 10: A Crime Like No Other
The tight throbbing in my head is what woke me up, bringing me out of my alcohol-induced slumber and into reality. Something heavy, soft, and warm was pressing down on me, and I did not have an inkling of who or what it was.
Until I opened my dreary eyes… and came face-to-face with a slumbering Lisa.
Her strong odor surrounded me, her body heat flooded into me, but something else lingered in the air that frayed my nerves. The rosy scent of veritable passion was everywhere, accompanied by the faint, sour tang of sweat.
My entire body was damp, as was hers, our plumage ruffled and in a state of disarray.
We were in some sort of plush room made of vibrantly tinted fabric and lit softly by colored lights. I was reclined belly up on what felt like a couch, Lisa in turn reclined on me.
One by one, the questions began drifting into my brain like an armada of airships.
What in the world am I doing here? What are we doing here? Why is she hugging me so intimately like Jewel always does?! Why is she on top of me?!
A strange, transient sensation on my lower body boosted my nervousness, and so one frightening thought floated into my mentality.
Is that her… touching my… oh no… does that mean we… Cristo Redentor help me…
I nudged her and called hoarsely, "Lisa, wake up. C'mon, Lisa! I don't have time… to play games!"
She wriggled awful fast, as if she wasn't even napping to begin with, and blinked open her eyes. She stared into mine decadently, as if I was a deity who had bestowed upon her every earthly pleasure.
"Well well, good morning, my handsome Blu," she cooed, shifting her weight.
I felt that forbidden skin-to-skin contact between us once again, a pang of euphoria rising from my midsection. I shoved her off of me, causing her to land belly up on the other side of the couch. Aware that my… intimate area was now fully exposed to her prying eyes, I hastily rolled onto my back and spun halfway around.
"I'm not your Blu. I belong to Jewel… and no one else," I stated sharply, rubbing my forehead as the pain flared up.
Lisa simply lay there with her body showing: chest, stomach, and… everything else, and I forced myself to keep my eyes locked with hers. She folded her wings behind her head and donned one hell of a cocky, triumphant smile.
She was acting as if she was some glorious queen, a female who was on top of the world.
"Lisa… why did you bring me here? Why were you sleeping on me? And why… why does my head hurt?"
"Don't you remember, Blu? We shared a magical night with each other that would make any single macaw jealous. Then again, you were so drunk, I can see why you lost your memory…"
"Wha? Quit being secretive… and tell me. Ouch… mmm…"
Still grinning from cheek to cheek, she stood up and took one step in my direction along the couch.
"Blu, now I know why Jewel is so attached to you. You're a real pro when it comes to… showing affection."
"Wh-what do you mean?" replied shakily, taking a step back.
"The way you massaged me with your wings… the way you thrilled me with your tongue… the way you squeezed yourself oh-so-tight against me…"
My panic rising to even higher levels, I inched back once more as she approached.
"I am so happy I did what I did with you… because Jewel never would have shared…"
"What... did you do? Please… if it's what I'm thinking… I'm going to…"
I retreated one final step, my legs bumping into the arm of the couch and barring any more movement. Lisa ambled forwards, placed her beak less than an inch distant from mine, and opened it very slowly.
The words that flowed out next would have made me vomit if my stomach had any food in it.
"I never imagined how amazing it would feel to mate with someone. Blu, I can't even describe how wild you drove me, how much I begged for you to keep going. You and I had sex not one, not two, but three times. I couldn't get enough of you, Blu, and I wished you hadn't passed out from exhaustion. But you've satisfied me more than anyone ever has in my entire life, and more than anyone ever will…"
My gut clenched and my heart started pounding as I soaked up her words, that devilish glint in her eyes undeniable. Geysers of chilling dread and scalding despair erupted within my body, and I suffered a momentary lapse in consciousness.
When I snapped awake, I realized I had face-planted onto the floor.
I scrambled to my feet, assaulted by my aching skull and rapid breathing. Those were the symptoms that manifested in a macaw that had committed an unthinkable atrocity, defiled himself with one female while still loyal to another. And that macaw… was me.
I was Jewel's mate, her one and only love… and I had cheated on her… with Lisa.
I had drunk myself into a stupor and let myself screw the living daylights out of Lisa. I had turned myself into a willing, gullible freak, one mistake that had forever ruined my life and tarnished my oath of love to Jewel.
I couldn't run or hide from my insidious crime, only remove myself from where it had occurred and suffer as my grim secret poisoned me from the inside out.
"No no no… I can't believe this. This is bad… so very bad. Cheese and sprinkles… what have I done? Lisa… I have to leave… now! I have to get… away from here!"
That same cocky grin was still glued to her beak as she watched me explode in remorse, obviously being ever-so-proud that she had dragged me to hell.
It tormented me so much that I wanted to twist her head away and break her neck, just so that I wouldn't have to see it any longer. But since that wouldn't take care of the problem, there was one other option I didn't have the guts for.
And that was to snap my own neck with my bare wings and put an end to my miserable life.
"Do whatever you want, Blu. There is no going back."
She inhaled a smooth, joyous sigh and looked me dead in the eyes.
"You have two mates now, Blu. That's all there is to it. And you may also have more chicks on the way as well…"
That was when I ran.
I nearly tripped over my own feet as I bolted from the room, through the desolate club, and out the door. I hurled myself into flight and took off, having nowhere else to go but home. I was so incredibly late, Jewel was most likely gonna tear my head off.
I say that metaphorically, but I would have deserved it if she had beheaded me physically.
I was never going to recover from my grave folly until I was cold and lifeless. I wasn't enough of a male to admit my mistake to Jewel, too afraid to bring about the shattering of my world.
My dirty secret would forevermore live inside me like a shadowy beast, tormenting my trapped soul with wicked claws and gnashing jaws.
I was going to have to face Jewel and pretend nothing happened, that I was still faithful. I was going to lie to Jewel's face day in and day out with my words and actions. I had betrayed my one true love and forsaken my child, the sole things I held dear in this crazy, sinful world. I may have been a mate and a father, but I was also a monster and a failure.
And just like the former two, the latter two titles could never be taken away.
My headache had disappeared by the time I dropped into our hollow, but now it was my very spirit that ached with agony. I felt washed out and swore I had gone as pale as a ghost, but Jewel was at a loss to realize my inner turmoil. In fact, the burning anger on her face seemed to cloud her eyes make her indifferent to how I was feeling.
She was standing toe-to-toe with me, her wings crossed and a scowl on her beak.
"Tyler Blu Gunderson… this is the last straw! You were gone all day and all night! I was this close to dying of worry! You are banned from going to the club for a whole month! BANNED, YOU HEAR ME? I AM ENDING YOUR ADDICTION HERE AND NOW!"
I used my wings to shield my ears from her furious squawks, lowering them once she fell silent.
"I accept your punishment! I… uh… decided to stop going back too. Really… I need to take an indefinite break from that place. I am so sorry for skipping out on you for so long. I am so so so sorry! Feel free to yell at me some more!"
"I AM TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM RIPPING YOUR TAIL… wait, huh? Why don't you want to go back?"
"Um… let's just say that things didn't go as planned. It's not… a good environment for me. Bad things are bound to happen. Yeah… I am done with clubbing for a long time," I squawked nervously.
"Well, this is certainly a coincidence…"
She then raised her voice and added, "But your apology doesn't it cut it! I am still very upset with you. You move your feathery butt over to the nest and sit on our egg right now! And you are not to get up unless I say so. You got me straight?"
"Yes, yes, of course. I screwed up, and I am willing to pay the price. I'll do whatever you want me to, Jewel. I won't fuss or fight."
I resolutely marched over to the nest and eased myself down onto the polished oval, flashing my perturbed mate a shaky smile.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I am gonna head out for some me time, since I haven't had any since I laid the egg. And also because I don't feel like being around you right now. You stay there until I get back, got it?"
"Mmm hmm. I… I got it. Can you… um… bring me back some food if it's not too much trouble?"
"Argh, I guess so. I may be super mad at you, but I don't want you to starve. I'll be back in an hour or two."
A flustered Jewel vacated the hollow on beating wings, not bothering to say goodbye. And so I was stabbed yet again with another knife of hopelessness, another spurt of internal pain to go along with my ongoing torture.
When I thought of the female who had temporarily left me, the tiny life beneath me, and that demon Lisa… the tears emerged in slow and steady streams. With one single act I had become a worthless pile of feathers, a cheater who shouldn't be allowed to love or be loved from that day forward.
I shouldn't even be a part of Jewel's life anymore… but I couldn't bring myself to abandon her.
Jewel was going to be in bed with an enemy she never knew existed, and that enemy was me.
I was no superhuman creature, and so my tears ran dry after some time, leaving behind streaks of salt on my face. But my emotions operated differently, capable of remaining foul and stagnant until coerced into doing otherwise.
In my head I imagined myself hunting Lisa down and attacking her, even though that fake scenario did me no good. That was simply how my conscious mind functioned in the face of the disaster that I had brought upon myself. Oh, I was so irrevocably angry with Lisa that I held a grudge in my heart that would never vanish.
But I could never be more pissed at her than I was at myself.
When Jewel returned, her sleek and glistening plumage meant that she had bathed herself. Her beauty only made me even sicker, considering the fact that I had mated with the almost-unattractive Lisa.
Jewel's teal eyes were still icy with disappointment, not kind and inviting as they usually were.
"I'm back, Blu. I brought you a dragon fruit," she announced dully.
She walked over and sat the greenish orb down in front of the nest with more force than necessary. She then stationed herself on my right, just out of wing reach. Crouching down, she dined on her food, shooting me unhappy glances ever so often.
Silently I ate my own food, if only for the sake of my empty stomach. It was wordless, our breakfast was, Jewel's hostility towards me radiating from her like fog.
When my portion was gone and I had licked my beak clean, I let out a melancholy sigh and stared down at the sticks that made up the nest.
"I hope you learned your lesson, Blu," Jewel advised, her gaze focused on the outside world beyond our home.
"Sometimes, a lifestyle isn't as nice and rewarding as you thought it would be. And that's when you have to draw the line and say, 'Maybe this isn't the best thing I should be doing.' "
I sighed again and felt a frown form on my beak. She was right, only it was too late for me to turn back the clock and avoid my escapade with Lisa.
Far too late.
"Yeah. I...I learned my lesson."
"I know everyone isn't perfect and we all make mistakes, but-"
"But my mistakes are worse than other peoples' mistakes..." I said sullenly.
You got that right, Blu. How could such a smart bird like you make such a ridiculous choice? Huh? Well, it seems you've lost your intelligence. You disgust me, moron. Congratulations.
"Oh Blu, it's not like that. You already admitted that you showed a period of bad behavior, so now it's time for you to turn yourself around and recover."
Recover? Hah! Impossible. If only you knew what your mate has done, Jewel…
I heard the shuffling of feet, and the next sensation I picked up was Jewel placing her wing on my back. I was not worthy of her soothing touch and would have brushed her wing off had I not battled the urge.
To antagonize her even more was something I would not do.
"You may be giving me an especially hard time right now, but I will always love you. No matter what you do, that will never change."
I can think of one exception, dear Jewel…
"Yeah, sure. I bet you love me less than you did yesterday, before I took off."
"That is not true, Blu. Don't even think anything like that. C'mon, why don't you cheer up? You should be happy I am not Nigel. He wouldn't treat you so well."
The joke was not sufficient to get me to smile, and Jewel noticed this.
"I can't cheer up until you do. And who knows how long that is gonna take."
Jewel exhaled a cloud of sugary breath and asked, "Is something wrong, Blu? Why are you so down all of a sudden? You can tell me anything."
If Blu did, they would be his famous last words before you killed him.
"Well… you see… I kind of…"
"You kind of what?" she pressed further.
"I… I… oh, nevermind. It's nothing. Just something personal that I will have to figure out on my own."
"Are you sure? Is there any way I can help, Blu? I am here for you."
"No… no there's not. This is for me to solve on my own. No offense, Jewel."
"Okay then…" she muttered, convinced I was telling the truth.
Only I wasn't.
She slid her wing off and remained where she was, leaning on my right side. I shifted carefully to accommodate the added weight, breathing out remorsefully.
"Blu, I love you."
My heart burst and my breath caught in my throat as she said those three words. Replying to her was the hardest thing I had ever done.
I stuttered out, "I love… you too… Jewel."
I still loved her to the ends of the Earth, but I no longer deserved her.
And so the beast continued to feed and devour me, bit by bit.
Jewel drifted off into a midday slumber as the minutes ticked by, but I was too hurt to even dream of napping.
I would be thrown into a nightmare that was not much different from my conscious state anyways.
One hour later, I was forced to leave my post to use the restroom. I eased Jewel onto the floor without waking her, stepped outside and took care of business, and then went back to incubating the egg.
Sixty minutes later, Jewel's peaceful doze was brought to a close by the spontaneous arrival of Ronaldo. He scrutinized me even as we shook wings and exchanged greetings, trying his best to read me.
He failed in that regard, thank the stars. Jewel's presence is what lifted his spirits and barred him from acting overly-curious and shifty, granting me a tiny iota of relief.
She offered to bring him a meal, but he refused, stating he had previously stuffed himself with a banana.
They hit it off with the kind of geniality shown only by siblings, conversing about anything and everything. I deliberately excluded myself, commenting only when I felt the need to do so.
Ronaldo was worried about my depressed condition, but he didn't try to pry any information from me. He only went off of what Jewel told him, and that was that. He agreed with her about my string of bad choices, but was appreciative of the fact that I was now walking along the path of good.
But the more pride others invested in me, the more I wanted to beat myself senseless.
Jewel and Ronaldo thrust me into solitude about an hour of chatting, embarking on a brother and sister bonding trip. To the north sector of the jungle they went, happy as can be and promising they would be back soon.
I plunked my head on my shoulder and encircled myself with my wings, closing my tired eyes and letting my consciousness fade into a sort of static limbo. My mate and brother did indeed return in a timely manner, about two and a half hours or so later.
And surprise surprise, Lisa herself trailed them by a few seconds.
Things were tense with her and Ronaldo in the same area as each other, but nothing was blown out of proportion. I was severely uncomfortable with her around, a disturbing look in her eyes and a smug smile on her face.
I was the first one she greeted, as if she was out to spite me to the max.
As she shook my wing, she cawed, "Hello, Blu. How has your day been so far? Excellent like mine, I hope."
"Yeah… excellent. That's a… great way to describe my day."
I was being so sarcastic it burned, earning eye rolls from Jewel and Ronaldo and a chortle from Lisa. She hugged me fervently before exiting my personal space, purposely unnerving me.
"So Blu, when do you plan to go clubbing next? I wouldn't mind joining you. After all, we had such great fun yesterday!"
I gulped down a thick lump and replied apprehensively, "Heh heh… I have decided to stop clubbing for a long time. Yesterday was… enough fun for me. Sorry… Lisa."
"Pfft. Suit yourself, Blu. Though I want a repeat performance, I might as well be thankful of the amazing stuff we've already done."
"Repeat performance? Please explain, Lisa," Ronaldo asked tersely.
I blurted, "No no no, she doesn't need to. It's… uh… trivial stuff. Really!"
Jewel bored into me skeptically and queried, "Are you hiding something from me, Blu? You sure are acting weird."
I spewed out, "Of course not, honey bun! Nope. Not hiding anything. No ma'am."
An awkward silence settled upon us, Ronaldo eyeing Lisa, who eyed me as I eyed Jewel. I held my breath, begging for a change of subject. Magically, Ronaldo was my saving grace.
"Okay… that was odd. Anyways, I need to step out for a sec. Nature is calling."
I cleared my throat as he skipped out to relieve himself, fiddling with my wings. Moments later, my cunhado stuck his head into the hollow, his eyes shining like Christmas lights.
"Meu Deus, why didn't I think of it sooner!"
Jewel asked curiously, "Think of what sooner, Ronaldo?"
"There is one slice of cultura brasileira Blu hasn't experienced yet, and now is the chance to show him."
"And what slice are you referring to, cunhado?"
He looked my way and smiled slyly.
"Come with me, Blu. It's time to play some soccer."
All of us save for Jewel gathered around a smooth, well-sized pebble a few feet away from our home. My mate hauled the nest from our home and set it next to the tree, so that the splendid sun could warm the egg autonomously.
Jewel then hopped over to us and motioned at the gray stone with a flick of her foot.
"So, that is gonna be the ball? It's gonna hurt if one of us gets hit, you know."
"Soccer is a risky sport, Jewel. I am going to keep it as real as possible."
Jewel smacked her beak teasingly.
"It's obvious we should divide up into pairs. Blu and Jewel, you are one team. Lisa and I are the other. We score if we get the rock past your home tree. You score if you get the rock past… um… that dead bush over there."
"Got it," Jewel and I said at the same time.
"I can't help but feel our team is at a disadvantage," I squeaked.
"Oh come on, Blu. Didn't you ever watch a soccer game back home in America?"
"Maybe a few, Lisa, but-"
"Then you already understand the rules of the game. Now please, less talking and more kicking!"
"Wait a minute, Lisa. We are only allowed to use our feet, wings, and head, but no beaks."
All but Ronaldo nodded in agreement, and we took our respective positions on the make-believe soccer field. Lisa took a running start and nailed the pebble with her clenched foot, sending it straight for my skull.
And so our observation of Brazil's most important pastime commenced.
In spite of how tough and cocky everyone else played, my heart wasn't in it. My incompetence led to Ronaldo scoring two goals, while I myself scored none. I wasn't in the mood to kick the rock as hard as I needed to or move fast enough to deflect it.
So basically Jewel did all the work of attacking and defending while I floundered around, half-assing the whole time.
At one point when the score was tied four to four, Jewel launched the pebble my way, and I hurled it towards Lisa rather fast. Lisa hurled it back by smacking it powerfully with her wing, me being the one who was supposed to counteract it.
I jogged backwards to give myself an extra bit of space to react, but chickened out and ducked in fear as stone barreled towards me. I reflexively closed my eyes for a split second, hearing a dull thunk directly behind me.
I whirled around, spying the pebble lying innocently on the earth. And to my horror, Jewel was sprawled out on her side, wings pressed to her forehead.
"It hurts! It hurts so bad! Someone… anyone… HELP!"
"Jewel!" I yelled, sprinting over to her like feathered lightning.
I skidded to a stop in front of her chest, each one of her sobs like a kick to the gut.
"Jewel, what's wrong?" I pleaded, receiving no response.
I peeled one of her liquid-stained wings away and saw a smear of scarlet between her eyes, steady trickles of blood running down her tear-dampened face.
"What… the hell… Blu? You… let… it hit me! Unh... my head… I swear…"
"I'm sorry! I… got scared! But if Lisa wouldn't have thrown it so hard, this wouldn't have happened!"
"Hey! Don't even try to blame me, Blu," Lisa protested, sidling up beside me.
Ronaldo interjected, "Honestly, Blu, you could have swatted it with your wing. It was your fault Jewel got injured, and no one else's."
"Yeah. What he said," the other female added.
"But Lisa… she… I… oh cheese and sprinkles. Jewel, please… I'm sorry," I moaned, burying my face in my wings.
"Tulio… I need to see Tulio. Ronaldo… can you carry me?"
"No problem, Jewel. Blu might drop you and end up injuring you even more."
I could feel him glaring daggers at me, even through the primaries on my wings.
"Thank you. And Lisa… will you bring… my egg?"
"Consider it done, Jewel. I won't let anything happen to it."
"Okay. Ronaldo… please hurry…"
I uncovered my face to see Ronaldo already airborne, my pain-wracked mate slung below him. Lisa glided over to the nest and skillfully plucked up the egg, banking softly to chase after Ronaldo.
How much more negativity and heartbreak could I take before I went insane? How much more agony was Jewel going to suffer through because of my idiotic, careless choices? If only some Harpy Eagle had descended upon me right then, impaled me with its talons, and taken me to my doom.
But alas, it did not, and so I forced my weary, crumbling self into the air.
All I had done was cause misery to be cast upon my one and only love, and it was ripping me apart. The tears welled up in my eyes as I drifted in beside Lisa, whose complex expression summed up my situation to a T and made me feel like utter trash.
I had spiraled so deep into a sea of guilt and hopelessness that I felt myself choking. I didn't deserve to be called anything anymore; not a mate, a father, or a friend.
This was my third strike in relation to how completely I had corrupted my relationship with Jewel. Just like Lisa's malevolent, boastful smile said, I had met my match.
And on top of that, I had just struck out.
And so the storm begins...
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