We fall but we will try again.
When Dan woke up, he felt a lot better, no more annoying voices.
His hands were hurting but that was nothing compared to seeing that he'd made Phil upset once again.
Dan wanted to cry.
He hated to make Phil hurt or upset. He hated it! Even more than he hated himself.
Dan was watching Phil clean the bathroom, biting his lip so hard that he was sure that blood would soon start to come out.
Dan tried to think of something that would make Phil feel better, make him maybe forget what Dan did, forget about all the dried blood seeping into cold titles.
Dan gripped his hair in his fists only to scrunch up his nose in pain.
He sighed, banging his head against the wall, making Phil look up.
His eyes were all puffy and red.
It was like a knife in Dan's chest.
He took in a sharp breath.
Phil was crying because of me…
Dan's eyes started to water, his legs carrying him towards Phil without him even feeling it.
Dan stopped right next to Phil, who was kneeling down to wash the titles.
Dan looked him straight in the eyes, letting his own eyes show all the guilt he was feeling, show how sorry he felt.
And then he tentatively raised his left hand, slowly, unsure of how to do it.
He slowly placed it on Phil's swollen cheek.
He sucked in another sharp breath at the sudden skin contact, both of their eyes widening in shock at the temperature contrast between them.
Dan needed to swallow the urge to snap his hand back and hide it so he just pressed a bit harder against Phil's cheek.
It felt so soft and so warm against Dan's ice-cold hand.
And… and…. it kinda felt… pleasant?
Dan started to felt confused.
When the shock was over, Phil closed his eyes, leaning into the simple touch against his cheek.
They both took in a deep breath, sighing in relief.
Dan tilted his head to the side, watching how Phil reacted to the touch, analysing every small detail.
It felt so weird for Dan, he hadn't touched anyone in years, he didn't even remember the last time he'd touched something other than someone's hand, and he usually didn't let others touch himself either.
But with Phil, with Phil it all felt so different.
Dan knew that he trusted Phil more than he had ever trusted anyone in all his life.
Just seeing how calm and happy Phil looked, enjoying the touch, let Dan know he did the right thing.
Dan didn't know how long he should hold his hand against Phil's cheek, he had no idea.
A small smile spread over Phil's lips, he tilted his head to the side, planting a soft kiss against Dan's hand.
Dan's eyes widened.
He hadn't see anything like that coming.
It felt so intimate.
Dan's hand started to shake a bit, making Phil open his eyes and look up at Dan, slowly licking his lips.
Dan felt like he couldn't breathe, all of sudden feeling too hot.
It all felt new to him but one thing he knew: it all felt damn sexual.
Dan opened his lips with a small gap, looking down at Phil, into his shining eyes.
Phil's smile got wider, he placed a hand over Dan's to make it stop trembling.
- It's okay, baby boy. - Phil said in a soothing voice, making Dan relax right away.
They just stared at each other for a moment before Dan slowly slid his hand out of Phil's touch.
Phil just smiled, standing finally up.
Dan felt all warm inside, already thanking Phil in his mind.
Dan took his phone out of his pocket, typing down as fast as he could.
- Do you want to go out for a ride? - Dan looked at Phil.
- Of course. Lets go. - Phil beamed in joy, taking Dan's hand in his, leading them to the car.
The small run to the garage made joy spread through Dan's whole body, still holding Phil's hand in his, trying to catch a breath while leaning against the car.
Phil was laughing, smiling so wide.
Dan liked to see him like that.
Phil looked down at Dan and smiled even wider, his eyes lighting up even more.
They both got into the car, fastening their seat belts before speeding off.
Phil was an amazing driver, Dan had to admit. With him, Dan felt safe. Even while driving so fast that everything outside the window was a blur.
After a half an hour drive, they stopped at the small cafe, both beaming in joy.
Even if Dan didn't smile or laugh, his eyes still showed all the joy he was feeling.
And for Phil it was enough.
They got into the cafe, ordering the biggest ice cream they had, sitting down and eating it all while talking about simply nothing.
Dan knew that his favourite sound was now Phil's laughter, it could move things, it was powerful and so full of joy. Dan loved it.
He made a note to make Phil laugh at least once a day, making them both happy.