Part I—Chapter 10: Beauty and the Beast... and the Halfling
"Deekin still not understands why Boss be wearing green cloth thing."
Emily rolled her eyes. "I assure you, Deekin, it's highly beneficial to me."
The kobold briefly poked his head into a nearby barrel, but he was disappointed to find it empty. He resumed his interrogation. "Deekin not sees how, Boss. It's not a helmet, so it not offers much in the way of protection."
The cleric pulled the lid off of the box standing next to her. "It may not offer physical protection, I'll grant you that, but it is magical."
"Deekin knows that, Boss. But all green cloth thing does is make Boss look teensy bit pretty. Not very useful, Deekin thinks."
Emily slammed the box lid back down. "And what's wrong with looking pretty?" she snapped.
Deekin considered this for a moment. "There be nothing wrong, maybe. It just be, umm… well, if Boss wearing Magical Green Cloth Thing of Wisdom, Deekin understands that because Boss is cleric and clerics needs lots of wisdom. But Boss not needs be pretty to be good cleric. Boss can be ugly as ugliest kobold—and Deekin knows lots of ugly kobolds—but even if Boss that ugly, Boss still be legendary cleric if Boss be really wise. So… Deekin is asking why Boss not wears helmet or something more wisdomy insteads."
Emily wound a finger tightly around one of her few remaining curls. "You see, Deekin," she began slowly, "I have a lot of wisdom already. I wouldn't be a cleric at all if I didn't. And I also have finally found some pretty decent armor and a very sturdy shield, so I feel pretty safe from a physical standpoint. Using my wisdom to help me, I have decided that it would be more useful for me to wear something on my head that augments one of my deficiencies instead of adding to one of my strengths. And recent events have led me to feel rather deficient in—" her hand clenched into a protective fist around her hair "—prettiness. So you're right Deekin. That is exactly why I am wearing the green cloth thing. To look a teensy bit prettier."
"Ooooohhh," said Deekin, light dawning on his face. "Deekin understands now. This be about Boss's hair catching on fire."
Emily sighed and raised her hands to the heavens. "Yes, Deekin, this is about Boss's hair catching on fire. Now that we've established that, we should really move on."
After dispatching of the drow chasing the unfortunate goblin, Emily and her companions had ventured a little farther into Undermountain's second level. They had gazed from afar at the well Emily had seen in her dream, and though she had tried to remain calm, she had thought she caught Sharwyn looking at her strangely out of the corner of her eye. At Daelan's suggestion, they had decided to turn south and examine the area for clues to their missing friends' whereabouts. So far, all they had found were a few now-dead drow.
Deekin stepped over one of these drow as he followed the cleric. "Deekin confused about something else now, Boss. Deekin not understands why humans be so obsessed with hair. Maybe that because Deekin has no hair, but Old Master not has hair either, and Old Master be very handsome dragon. At least, that what Old Master always says, Deekin not really have much to compare him to…"
Daelan put a firm hand on Deekin's shoulder. "You're waging a losing battle here, little kobold," he said solemnly. "It has been my experience that women of the non-monstrous races tend to be fiercely protective of their hair, like a mother wolf guarding her young. Since your boss appears to fall into this category, I would advise you not to provoke her."
Emily whirled around, thoroughly provoked. "I am insulted, Daelan, that you would think I am that shallow! I am not some vain girl who can't resist gazing into every mirror she passes to make sure her appearance is just so! No offense, Sharwyn," she muttered with a glance at the bard.
Sharwyn looked up from where she had been leaning over to adjust her cloak in the reflection from Emily's shield. "None taken!" she said lightly, beaming at them all with her beautiful smile.
Emily tried not to stare at the lustrous waves of red hair falling around the bard's face and cleared her throat. "I am Emily Emeraude, adventurer of legend, and I do not need to be beautiful to be a legend!" She paused to fix the others with what she hoped was a look of extreme confidence. "That being said," she continued more softly, "if I choose to wear equipment that improves my physical appearance without providing any additional adventuring benefits whatsoever, I am perfectly within my rights to do so, and I will not. Be. Judged. Is that clear?"
Deekin and Daelan nodded quickly. Sharwyn had ceased paying attention, once more entranced by her own face. Satisfied, Emily turned around. "Now, let's see what's on the other side of this door, shall we?" But before she laid a hand on the door, she heard voices coming from the other side.
Emily quickly put a finger to her lips, and in a moment all four had the sides of their heads pressed against the wooden surface.
"Commander," the first voice said, "we have found the green chain."
"Excellent," said the second voice, presumably the commander. "We still need to find the other three if we're going to make it past that blasted golem's puzzle."
"Ha!" Emily whispered excitedly. "I knew that yellow chain would be important."
"Yes, you certainly did, didn't you," Sharwyn muttered behind her. Judging from her sarcastic tone, Emily's pronouncement hadn't done much to allay the bard's suspicions. Well, now that the chain business is common knowledge, hopefully she won't bring it up again, Emily thought desperately. I really don't want to get into the whole mysterious vision thing right now. The cleric cast a quick look behind her and was dismayed to see Daelan looking at her with narrowed eyes. Oh, great, Daelan, too? That's just wonderful…
"Well, what are you standing around for?" asked the commander from the next room. "Go find the other chains!"
"Yes, sir!" replied the other drow. Deekin stepped back from the door and loaded his crossbow. "It be time for battle, Boss!" he cried, and Daelan smashed the door with his axe.
The drow chain seeker looked at them in surprise, only to get a crossbow bolt to the face from Deekin. Emily stabbed him with Enserric for good measure, and the four rushed into the room to face the drow commander. The commander took one look at the charging adventurers, muttered a few quick words, and disappeared.
"Damn, we've lost him!" growled Daelan, fighting to control his rage now that his target was gone. He, Emily, and Sharwyn stopped in their tracks, trying to listen for any signs of life. This task was made considerably more difficult by Deekin's singing.
"DOOM-DOOM-DOOM DOOM!" the kobold wailed as he followed the other three into the room. He was singing a cappella at the moment and frantically trying to pull his lute out of his pack on the run. Unfortunately, he wasn't looking forward while he was running, and he very nearly ran straight into Daelan's back. The barbarian saw him coming and jumped out of the way as Deekin raced past, but to his surprise, he did not land on stone.
A disembodied voice began screaming curses in drow. The poor commander could hardly be expected to do any less after an exceptionally large half-orc stepped on his toe. Sharwyn laughed as she pulled her bowstring taut. "I think you've found him, Daelan!"
As she and Daelan went to work on the commander, Emily watched as Deekin ran full speed into a stack of crates. Shaking her head, she rushed over and helped her kobold friend up. "You're not hurt, are you?" she asked as she dusted him off.
"Not Deekin, Boss! Deekin ready for battle! DOOM-DOOM-DOOM DOOM!" he sang, lute in hand this time. Emily smiled and joined Daelan in swinging wildly at the still-invisible commander.
"No, you fool!" Enserric yelled after one of Emily's swings. "What are you doing? Can't you see he's to your left?"
"No," replied Emily, puzzled. "Can you?"
"Of course I can!" cried the sword. "I am Enserric the Grey, see-er of all, slayer of all that I see, which is everyone! MWUAHAHAHAHA!"
"Well then, quit your boasting and tell me where to swing!" Emily snapped. Enserric complied with minimal grumbling, and with his help the drow commander was soon slain.
Satisfied that the drow was dead, Emily returned to the pile of crates Deekin had knocked over. Something in the rubble had caught her eye… There, a small purple bottle with markings in a language she couldn't understand. She picked it up and eyed it carefully. Whatever it is, it must be magical, she thought. It's certainly exotic-looking, at least. I wonder… She peered closer. Is it glowing? It's definitely magical if it's glowing!
She turned around to ask Deekin if he could detect any unusual light source in the vicinity, but she was surprised to find herself face-to-face with Sharwyn instead. The bard was looking even more smug than usual. In her hand was a green chain.
"I can't believe I beat you to this," she said with a sweetness so false it was beyond even her power to mask. "I mean, after the fight you put up to get the yellow one… and I know you much prefer the color green…"
Emily frowned and fought to maintain her composure. "I must have missed it," she said, her voice barely controlled. "Thank you for bringing it to me." She reached out to take the chain, but Sharwyn snatched it back out of reach.
"Ah, ah, ah, my dear priestess," the bard teased, though her harsh face belied her light tone. "You owe me an explanation."
Emily took a deep breath and tried to think of an appropriate stalling tactic when she was once again saved by the unwitting antics of Deekin. The kobold had ventured across the room and found something in the shadows far more interesting than a colored chain.
"Deekin finds dead halfling, Boss! This be halfling Boss be looking for, maybe?"
Daelan, who had been watching the standoff between the two women closely, quickly rushed to Deekin's side. "I'd recognize that rogue anywhere," he said with a grim smile.
"Tomi!" Sharwyn cried, all thoughts of chains pushed from her mind by the sight of her missing friend. In an instant, she was kneeling by Tomi's body, examining his wounds closely. "He appears to have been stabbed in the chest a few times. Is that going to be a problem, Emily?"
The cleric shook her head as she pulled out some bandages. "Trust me, I've seen worse," she said simply and began cleaning the deep gashes. That task completed, she closed her eyes and cast her spell of resurrection.
The halfling blinked several times and eventually stared at Emily with wide and incredulous eyes. Emily stared back. She was worried that she would startle him, and she didn't want a repeat of Sharwyn's near murder of Deekin. She tried a smile and was relieved when Tomi smiled back.
"Well, I'll be a nekkid monkey's uncle," he said happily, much happier than most of the recently deceased people Emily had encountered. "Did I die again?"
"It appears so," Emily said with a laugh. "This a common occurrence for you?"
"That's one way of puttin' it, aye," Tomi replied. "One of these days I'm goin' to bloody well piss off them dead gods for teasin' them all th' time." He looked at her and blinked again. "Say, you look familiar," he said slowly.
"I should. I talked to you in the inn, when you were with your friends." Emily had told Sharwyn and Daelan to stay quiet until she indicated otherwise so Tomi wouldn't be overwhelmed with trying to place familiar faces.
Tomi's eyes narrowed, and then he blinked again. "Right, right. And you, umm… you're the daughter of that fella who runs the inn, ain'tcha? What was yer name again?"
Emily was instantly hit with the memory of being unable to recall Durnan's daughter's name when she was attacked all those nights ago, and it pained her to realize that she still could not do so. "T, I know it starts with a T…" she muttered under her breath.
"Well, I'm guessin' that's not you since ya can't remember yer own name, aye?"
"Oh, no! I'm not the innkeeper's daughter. My name is Emily Emeraude."
"Oh, right, the famous one," Tomi said, and he slowly pushed himself up against the wall. Emily considered pushing him back down, but he seemed to be recovering much quicker than the other two. Maybe that was a byproduct of dying so often. "Well," he continued, "I guess it don't get much better than bein' saved by a professional, aye? Thanks a bunch. That was real swell of ya."
"Any time," Emily said automatically.
"Ha, be careful what ya wish for. Ya might have just found yerself a new permanent occupation." He stretched his arms up high and looked around. His eyes came to rest on Sharwyn and Daelan, the bard's hands tightly clutching the barbarian's. "Hey, glad to see you two again! Good to know all four of us made it, then."
"'All four of us'?" Sharwyn asked quickly. "Linu's alive?"
"Sure she's alive, her little heart bloody bleedin' all over the place, as usual." Tomi sighed. "I suppose you'll all be wantin' the whole story, then. Well, here goes…"
The halfling told them how he and Linu had stumbled down to this floor while they were fleeing from the drow and had found a group of human slaves. These slaves believed the drow commander had a djinni that could activate a magic portal that would allow them to escape, and Linu had charged a reluctant Tomi with retrieving the djinni's bottle. Tomi, however, had taken his thievery a bit too far.
"Ya see, I was tryin' to steal their jewelry while they was still wearin' it. A challenging feat, but I've done it before! Them elves got ears like ya wouldn't believe, though, and that led to the stabbing." He rubbed his chest absently. "You sure there's no holes left, still?"
Deekin looked up from his writing and poked at Tomi's chest with his quill feather. "Deekin not thinks so. Boss does excellent job of fixing you up!"
"Hey, that tickles!" Tomi whined as he swatted the quill away. His eyes narrowed when he saw the quill's owner. "Oh, no, you're here?" he asked, apparently having no difficulty remembering Deekin.
"Of course Deekin be here. Deekin be Boss's faithful kobold companion! Where else woulds Deekin be?"
Tomi rolled his eyes and got shakily to his feet. "Well, I guess I better be showin' ya where Linu's at, aye? Assumin' ya got room for a smart-mouthed halfling in your entourage?" he said with a wink at Emily.
"Welcome aboard," Emily winked back.
Sharwyn began fussing over Tomi's lack of supplies, though fortunately he wasn't nearly as picked clean as she and Daelan had been. While the bard was otherwise occupied, Emily slyly reached into her companion's pack and pulled out the green chain. Two down, two to go, and no explanations necessary… for now.
They had made it back to the center section of the dungeon before the effects of Tomi's recent death caught up with him. After the halfling tripped over Deekin for the third time, Emily called for a rest on the pretext that she was exhausted after performing the resurrection. Tomi's protests to soldier on were silenced the instant his head hit his makeshift pillow. Sharwyn offered to take first watch, and Deekin and Daelan soon joined Tomi in slumber.
Emily, however, found that, although she truthfully was quite tired, she could not fall asleep so easily. She lay on the hard stone staring out across the bridge at the magical well. Just looking at it, and feeling the two chains under her head, made her uneasy. Once again, some mystical presence was protecting her and guiding her. She knew she should be grateful, but she was no longer the naïve student of Hilltop Adventuring Academy. She had learned that beings with supernatural powers rarely helped mere mortals out of the goodness of their hearts. Something would be expected of her in return for this aid, but without knowing who was aiding her Emily could not even begin to guess what that something would be. Or if she would be willing to do it.
Her ruminations making her increasingly frustrated, she angrily rolled over so she could no longer see the well. Instead, she found herself looking straight into Sharwyn's big brown eyes. She quickly clamped her eyes shut tight, hoping against hope that the bard hadn't noticed.
"Good, you're awake," Sharwyn whispered softly.
"No, I'm really not," Emily whispered back. She knew she was conceding defeat by speaking, but she stubbornly refused to open her eyes. It was a tactic she had employed many times with her sisters when they were growing up to get them to leave her alone. Sadly, it rarely worked.
"Come, come, priestess, sit up," said Sharwyn, refusing to back down. "There's something I need to talk to you about."
Emily moaned as she pushed herself to her knees. "Look, Sharwyn, if it's about the chains—"
"No, no, I've decided to let that go for the time being." Emily looked at her suspiciously. "I'm being serious," Sharwyn insisted. "As long as you keep raising my friends from the dead, you can keep as many secrets as you please."
Emily sighed with relief. Inwardly, however, she began to wish that Sharwyn's friends would keep dying so she never had to talk about her visions. That, of course, brought on an enormous load of guilt that no simple Lathander, forgive me was going to fix. She fought back a wince brought on by this internal turmoil and asked, "Why do you want to talk to me, then?"
Sharwyn looked at the ground and mumbled, "I need your advice, Emily." Emily stared at the bard in surprised silence until Sharwyn reluctantly added, "About men."
Emily choked on the laugh rising in her throat. Thankfully, the others were too sound asleep to notice, though Emily could have sworn she saw Deekin flinch. When she had sufficiently composed herself, she asked the now-blushing bard, "Are you kidding? You, the most beautiful bard in the Ten Towns, asking me, the mildly attractive farm girl-turned-cleric with a short but disastrous romantic history, about men?"
"Well, my options are rather limited down here, wouldn't you say?" Sharwyn huffed.
"I don't know. Are you sure you wouldn't rather ask Deekin? I'm sure he knows plenty of epic romances that can provide you with more guidance than I ever could. Plus, he's guaranteed to make you laugh! Or make you hungry with his constant talk of dessert…"
"As charming as Deekin is, he's still a bard, and one thing you can always count on is that a bard will never keep a secret that's good enough to be shared. And Tomi's just as bad when it comes to gossip. No, Emily, it has to be you because you're the only one I can trust."
Emily's stomach grumbled rather loudly. Sharwyn looked as though the sound caused her physical pain. The cleric smiled awkwardly. "What can I say; just talking about Deekin talking about food makes me hungry!" As she turned to get a stale roll out of her pack she asked, "What about Daelan? You trust him, don't you?"
"Of course I trust Daelan, but I can't very well talk to him about this… which you know perfectly well," Sharwyn snapped, her eyes narrowing as Emily's smile widened.
"Alright, so I know. I'd have to have been blind not to notice you flirting with him. But I'm still at a loss as to why you need my help. This is kind of your area of expertise, isn't it?"
"Well, ordinarily, yes, but…" Sharwyn hesitated. "This isn't exactly an ordinary situation…"
Emily tore a chunk out of her bread, nearly leaving a few of her teeth behind, and considered her plan of action. She'd had enough conversations like this with her sisters to know that they were usually lengthy and pointless, keeping her awake longer than she wanted to be and ultimately resolving nothing. Time management was crucial, but she also didn't want to seem rude or dismissive. It was a fine line to walk. Keeping in mind that bards had a tendency to draw things out forever, she decided on a direct approach. "Are you in love with him?"
"No! I mean, not yet. I suppose there's always the possibility that I could fall in love with him sometime in the future…"
"So what you're saying is that your feelings for Daelan are more serious than you're used to."
"No, no, that's not it. I mean, I do have strong feelings for him, but it's not like I've never loved a man before, you know that, I've told you—"
"Yes, you did, I remember," Emily cut in quickly. No need to revisit past loves, Sharwyn, just stick to the present one, please? Emily chewed silently for a moment—the bread was so hard it was taking a while to moisten up in her mouth—and then she asked, "What makes Daelan different, then?"
"What makes Daelan different?" Sharwyn repeated, as though the answer were completely obvious. She laughed her melodious laugh—of which Emily was secretly quite jealous—and said, "Emily, what makes him different is that he is completely unlike any man I've ever met! You see, the kinds of men I am usually attracted to are incredibly handsome—well, obviously I often have a selection to pick from, so I always choose the incredibly handsome ones, ha ha!"
She laughed again and tossed her long, flowing hair. Emily sullenly tightened her head scarf and attempted to swallow her dinner. Her failure to do so was accompanied by choking. Nope, still too dry. She motioned Sharwyn to continue as she tried to clear her throat, and the half-hearted gesture was all the encouragement the bard needed.
"As I was saying, all of my previous lovers were paragons of male beauty"—Of course you'd repeat that! Emily mentally snapped—"but they were also very… self-centered, I suppose you could say. Not really interested in a relationship, didn't want to be tied down, that sort of thing. You know the kind of men I mean, right, Emily?"
Emily tried to nod, but this was rather difficult since she was frantically chugging water from her canteen. Whether Sharwyn implicitly understood the cleric's agreement or simply didn't care in the first place, the bard continued on.
"But Daelan is the complete opposite of all of that. While his physical prowess certainly makes him desirable, you cannot deny his orcish heritage. He is simply not handsome. And yet… his heart is nobler than that of any human man I've ever known. His appearance is at first frightening, but the kindness that radiates from his eyes is so soothing, I—" She stopped herself and dropped her eyes. "Emily, I just don't know what to do."
The bread had finally, after much effort, reached Emily's stomach, and now it was bedtime for the exhausted cleric. "Look, Sharwyn, I just don't see what the problem is. You like Daelan. Maybe you don't know why you like him, but why does that matter? Perhaps the contradiction between his outward appearance and his inward soul appeals to you love of the poetic, or maybe you're just tired of all the men who've hurt you and want to try someone completely different. Don't over think this."
Sharwyn sighed. "Emily, you haven't been listening." Emily fiercely objected in her head, but she knew fighting the point would only further delay her sleeping. "I'm comfortable with my feelings for Daelan. I'm just not sure about his feelings for me…"
Emily rolled her eyes; she couldn't help it. "You honestly think he doesn't find you attractive, Sharwyn?" Seriously, woman, I could be sleeping right now!
"Of course not, Emily, I'm not an idiot! It's just… I'm a flirtatious person by nature, and Daelan's known me long enough to know that. He also knows the kind of men I normally spend time with. I… I guess I don't think that he'd take me seriously if I told him how I feel." She picked up a rock and flung it into the nearby chasm. "And why would he? I've given him no reason to think I'm anything other than a shallow, flighty fool!"
"He doesn't think that about you, Sharwyn," Emily said genuinely.
"How do you know that?" the bard asked, her voice smaller than Emily had ever heard it before.
Emily didn't feel comfortable sharing with Sharwyn that Daelan had already confided in her, so she said rather lamely, "I just know."
Now it was Sharwyn's turn to roll her eyes. "Oh, wonderful, you 'just know'. Like how you 'just know' about these stupid chains we're searching for."
Emily laughed. "No, not like how I know about the chains, I can promise you that, which by the way you said I don't have to tell you about. I know about what Daelan thinks because… because of the way he looks at you. You know what you were saying before about the kindness in his eyes? Well, when he looks at you—you know, when he thinks no one's looking—his eyes get a little more… kinder? That's not the right word, is it. Umm, more radiating? No, that's not it, either… Ugh, this is why I keep Deekin around; I'm no good at this descriptive stuff. You know what I'm trying to say, though, right?"
Sharwyn nodded, a smile slowly spreading across her face. "Thank you, Emily."
"Glad I could help," Emily said as she lay back down. "Good night, Sharwyn."
"Good night," the bard said absently, already lost in planning out the perfect speech she would give Daelan to convince him of her sincerity. As she stared out unseeing into space, Deekin pulled his blanket up over his head. Taking a moment to let his eyes adjust to the increased darkness, he quietly pulled out his book and quill and began to write.