Falling Away

Chapter 10

By Voodoo Queen

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Author's Note: Hello, Dear Readers! Many thanks to all of you who took the time to read chapter 9. I would especially like to thank adelphe24 for leaving a review. I truly do appreciate it. After this chapter, our story will begin to pick up a bit and we'll be seeing a bit more of our OC interacting with Kolyat…and perhaps the elder Sere Krios in the coming chapters since I'm really liking some of the suggestions I've gotten in the comments. You guys are awesome with the ideas! Keep them coming!

That being said…I'm really trying to set the pace of the story appropriately given the circumstances surrounding our characters. It's coming, I promise. Just be patient with me! As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter and if you do feel so inclined feel free to review, comment, critique, or offer suggestions. See ya next time!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than my own original characters and my measly, little plot. All the good stuff belongs to their respective copyright holders.

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It had dawned on Kolyat as he made his way through an unfamiliar area of the sprawling Citadel that, though he hadn't been on the space station for a great length of time, he had yet to see another drell other than his father. There were plenty of turians and asari. Even humans were plentiful on the station. Salarians were easy to find and Kolyat had even spotted hanar from time to time which he always took great care to avoid. Drell, however, remained scarce. If he really dwelled on that fact it felt rather...lonesome.

He really wasn't surprised, though. It was to be expected. The drell population in comparison to other species in Citadel space was miniscule at best. The drell had been a dying race when the hanar had stumbled upon them. The rapid expansion of industry on the once beautiful desert world of Rakhana had been swiftly sucking the very life out of the planet all the while condemning its inhabitants to certain death as resources dwindled down to nothing. The hanar, sensitive to the drellish plight, chose to save 375,000 souls out of the 11 billion that called Rakhana home and transport them to their own home of Kahje where they could start anew.

The hanar's act of compassion hadn't come without a cost, however. Drell were not equipped to survive in Kahje's wet, humid environment and the result of that exposure was deadly as Kolyat had only to look to his father to be reminded. Kepral's Syndrome surpassed all other causes of death for the drell inhabiting Kahje. In addition, the drell were expected to extend their gratitude to their hanar saviors by entering into the Compact. Being asked to be a part of said compact was supposed to bring honor upon one's family. It was supposed to be a privilege to serve the Illuminated Primacy, to carry out those tasks the hanar found difficult to do themselves. Judging from his own experiences, Kolyat found himself at odds with the entire screwed up situation.

He had accumulated a great deal of animosity over the years most of which was directed at his father but he also held a fair amount of contempt for the system that had molded him into what he was. Kolyat was all too familiar with the impact being a part of the Compact could have on a drell's life and he had his father to thank for that. In a roundabout way, he held the hanar and their damned Compact just as responsible as his father for all the pain in his life. If the Compact didn't exist, his father would have never been drafted into it as a child, he would have never become an assassin, and the Batarians wouldn't have had any reason to kill his mother. His father wouldn't have abandoned him. He would have never thought to leave Kahje and try his own hand at hired killing. He wouldn't be trapped on this damned space station serving out a sentence, light as that sentence was, for attempted murder. He would be at home with his family doing what other young people without the burdens of Compacts, dead mothers, assassin fathers, and criminal records did.

The brunt of the blame, however, still rested squarely on his father's shoulders, Kolyat believed. His father had made choices and seemingly had done so without care as to how they would impact those closest to him. When his father had made the decision to marry his mother, Kolyat had learned that his father had asked to be released from his service to the hanar. That should have been the end of it, but no. In spite of that decision his father had still fallen back into his line of work as a means of financial support. While the life of an assassin may have been suitable for someone who only had themselves to worry about, Kolyat couldn't for the life of him figure out what made his father think it was a viable option for someone with a vulnerable wife and a small child at home.

What was his father's justification? He had claimed he had no other marketable skills by which to support his family. Kolyat, however, refused to believe that there hadn't been other options that wouldn't have resulted in tragedy. Were he in a position to care for and protect his own family, Kolyat told himself he would have done anything, menial tasks, labored under a scorching sun, even braved the unrelenting Kahje rain every fucking day if it meant his family would be safe and he would be home at their side. There had been options. No one could tell him otherwise.

Kolyat had to stop in his journey and take a moment to calm himself before continuing on. His current train of thought was doing nothing more than pissing him off anew and completely defeating the purpose of his outing. His hangover headache had, thankfully, receded to little more than a dull throb behind his eyes thanks in no small part to the pain relievers so graciously left for him on his bathroom sink. That particular recollection brought with it an equally unwelcome feeling of humiliation that caused the pleated skin on his neck and cheeks to flush hot. He wasn't sure why he couldn't just force the incident to the back of his mind like he had so many other traumatizing or mortifying experiences but it lingered still just at the edge of his conscious thoughts where his eidetic memory threatened to force him to relieve his utterly horrifying morning revelations over and over again. He shook his head in an attempt to regain his focus.

He hadn't gone much farther before a beep from his omni-tool alerted him to the fact that he had found his destination. A brief look of consternation flashed across his face but was gone quickly after double checking the address to ensure he was indeed at the appropriate location. It didn't look like much on the outside but the GPS feature on his omni-tool insisted he was right where he was supposed to be. Retracing his thoughts back to his observations regarding the lack of drell on the Citadel he supposed he should really be surprised the place even existed. It really shouldn't have come as a shock how plain and ordinary the place looked. The real shock should have been that the place popped up on his extranet search at all.

Now that he was here, however, Kolyat wasn't sure what to do. The door pad shown green in invitation to anyone who wished to enter but Kolyat focused instead on the script that encircled the doorframe instead. The drellish script bid the weary traveler welcome and extended the hope that whatever it was they sought that they find it within. Kolyat wasn't really sure what he was looking for to be honest but standing in his apartment with his head pounding and his gaze locked on the statue of Arashu that his father had gifted him with, seeking out the temple had seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, he found himself entertaining the notion of just turning around and going back to his apartment but figured he'd ventured this far and it wouldn't hurt to at least go in and scope the place out.

Upon entering the building a comfortable wave of warm, dry air washed over him and he had to take pause for a long moment to bask in the soothing heat. His eyes closed and his head fell back seemingly of their own volition as the warmth seemed to seep through his scales all the way down to his bones and he could feel some the anger-fueled tension coiled in his muscles fade away causing him to give an audible sigh of relief. He hadn't realized just how physically uncomfortable he'd been until that moment. Reluctantly, Kolyat forced his eyes back open and rolled his now loosened shoulders before moving further into the building. As his dark eyes adjusted to the much dimmer lighting, he was pleasantly surprised to find that despite its lackluster facade, the interior did, in fact, house all the trappings and adornments one would expect to find within a proper house of worship back on Kahje.

His gaze wandered appreciatively over the richly colored interior walls that were swathed in rich shades of deep red, earthy brown, and dark green. Plush pillows were situated strategically around three much larger and much more elaborate representations of the drells' three deities: Arashu, Amonkira, and Kalahira. The altars allowed individuals a place to leave offerings of thanks to the gods and provided them with a place to pray or meditate in the presence of the gods. A spicy incense filled the air with a scent reminiscent of the desert flowers that had once flourished on the drells' home planet. The overall impression was of a place of peace, comfort...memories.

Kolyat resisted the pull of his mind wishing to drag him back through events he'd really rather not think of at the moment. He wanted to be here, in the present, free of his constant baggage. He inhaled deeply, pulling the spicy, floral scent as deep into his lungs as he could before exhaling it slowly. His feet moved seemingly without any Input from his brain and before he even realized that he'd been striding across the sanctuary he found himself staring wide-eyed up at the form of the goddess Arashu. It had been so long since he'd done anything like this. It had been so long since he'd had any desire to do anything like this. He wasn't even sure where to start. So much had happened. So much had gone wrong. So much still hurt. There was so much more still to come.

He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and sank down to the floor, his dark eyes still fixed upon the goddess. The plush, burgundy pillow gave beneath his weight and cradled his knees and shins from the hardness of the polished stone floor. He took another deep, fortifying breath in through his nose and allowed it to escape slowly through his slightly parted lips. He still wasn't sure why he was here or why he felt so compelled to come to this place but he let his eyes slip shut anyway as he bowed his head and clasped his hands together beneath his chin. Without direction, he found himself beseeching Arashu for his most immediate needs: clarity and guidance.

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Thane watched from the shadows, his heart uplifted over the fact that his son hadn't abandoned his faith even after all that had happened. His eyes, too, drifted shut in mutual reverence when Kolyat began his prayers. Haltingly at first, the words seemed to flow from the young man more easily the longer he spoke. The prayer took on a poetic quality as the young man became more comfortable and his words became fluid and eloquent. Thane found himself entranced by his son's elegant prose and could no longer hold himself at bay. On silent feet he made his way across the distance that separated them and knelt down next to his son.

"You speak as the priests do."

In the silence following the completion of his prayer, the sudden intrusion of sound into his thoughts caused Kolyat to start. His eyes snapped open and his head jerked around to see his father, calm and collected, hands clasped, eyes still closed in meditation, kneeling next to him. He felt his neck flush hot in an uncomfortable mix of irritation and embarrassment. The tension that had earlier drained from his body seeped back into his muscles tenfold. He demanded, "How long have you been here?"

"Please, Kolyat," Thane opened his eyes and turned to face his son. "I do not wish to argue with you. I come here quite often. I did not expect to find you here but doing so has been a most pleasant surprise." He looked thoughtful, "The prayer you spoke, it is quite beautiful...and also quite obscure. Not too many use it anymore in their devotions. Where did you learn it?"

"I," Kolyat double-blinked at his father, caught off guard by the question. "I learned it from one of the priests at the temple in Khal'fa."

A smile tuned up the corners of Thane's mouth slightly. "You've visited Khal'fa?"

"Didn't have much choice," Kolyat huffed. "Aunt Issa sent me to live there for a while."

Thane's smile turned immediately into a frown and he felt his fists clench where his hands lay idle in his lap. "When was this?"

"Not long after you...left." Kolyat shifted uncomfortably at the memory.

"Why?" Thane shook his head in disbelief. "I left you in Issa's care, Kolyat. Why would she send you away?"

"Oh, I don't know," Kolyat shrugged. "I don't suppose it had anything to do with the fact that she already had a husband and two children of her own when her supposed brother-in-law dumped his own child off on her and disappeared."

Thane reeled back slightly in shock, "Kolyat, I-"

"No," Kolyat flinched in remorse and raised a hand to stop the apology he knew his father was about it issue. There was a time and a place for them to air their grievances against one another. A house of worship was no such place and he knew it. He was certain the goddess wouldn't approve. "I...apologize. It's...this is hard to speak about."

Thane bowed his head in understanding. He didn't press any further. He waited, giving Kolyat time to gather his thoughts.

His quick flare of temper left as suddenly as it had come leaving him feeling tired and empty. He sagged down onto the pillow. "I...when you left," Kolyat started. "I always believed that you would come back. When you...when you didn't...when I realized that you weren't going to...I..." He trailed off blinking the tears out of his eyes. "Mother was dead. You were goddess only knows where and I...I was alone. I wasn't coping well...at all. Aunt Issa, said I needed strong, male guidance. She thought some time away from everything would do me some good. So she sent me there."

"Did it?" Thane was pained by his son's confession. He was much too young to carry such huge burdens.

"It...didn't hurt I suppose," Kolyat admitted. "The priest there, Gael was his name, agreed to take me on for a while, help sort me out." Kolyat snorted, "A lot of good it did." He shook his head in a self-deprecating manner. "It was nice for a while though, having someone to confide in, someone to listen, help me through my grief, to teach me new things."

"All things," Thane sighed sadly, "That I should have done for you." He reached out tentatively and rested his hand atop Kolyat's where it lay on the young man's knee startling him and causing him to jump. "Though it pains me that someone else had to fulfill my obligations in my absence, I am thankful that it brought you some comfort. I...cannot erase what has happened in the past but I can promise you that, for as long as my body draws breath, you will not struggle alone."

"Yeah, well," Kolyat tried to clear his throat of the emotion that clogged it. Gently shaking off his father's hand he pushed himself to his feet. "I should, uh, go. I've got...things...I need to do." Without any more preamble, he inclined his head to his father in parting and turned sharply on his heel to leave.

"Kolyat?" Thane had risen from the floor as well. As he watched his son make to leave he was overcome with the urge to say something, anything to make him stay. "Wait."

Kolyat turned back to face his father. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. His father wore a hopeful look, one that he was certain he'd never quite seen so intensely before. It took him a moment to form a single word. "Yes?"

"May I," Thane started, "Would you allow me to buy you lunch? Being so close to this place, there is a wonderful bistro within walking distance that serves a wide selection of drell and hanar cuisine." He took a tentative step closer. "I think you would enjoy it."

Kolyat felt the ever-present gnawing ache in the pit of his stomach lessen somewhat. He wasn't sure if it was the look of expectancy on his father's face or his own swirling in his chest but he found himself nodding in agreement. "Yes, father. I…I think I'd like that."

End of Chapter 10