One Year

Say Something

"Paramedics!"

"In here!" Severide called out from Casey's room. "He's OD'd," he announced as the two paramedics rushed in.

Severide was pushed back away from Casey's still and pale form.

"His pupils are constricted, breaths are shallow… What did he take?"

"At least four different meds… including painkillers…" Severide looked at the organiser and pills scattered on the bed, "All within the last half hour."

"Let's load him and go!"

In the back of the ambulance Casey was strapped on to the gurney. He was barely conscious. Severide was by his side as the paramedic got to work, "Casey stay with me." Severide wiped away the trail left by the vomit. He gripped Casey's hand. The monitors were blaring. The paramedic next to him slipping an oxygen mask over his face. They'd cut open his tops and Severide could barely see his chest moving up and down, he was barely breathing. "Stay with me, you're gonna be ok, just keep those pretty eyes of yours open," he smiled down at him.

Casey's eyes rolled back and he seized.

"Argh!" Severide almost yelled out as Casey's hand crushed his own as his body convulsed, he couldn't get it out of Casey's grip as continued to seize.

There was not only vomit but blood pooling out of Casey's contorted face. Severide's hand was being held in Casey's vice like grip until the seizure subsided. They were reluctant to give him anything to stop the seizures knowing that he'd already ingested a toxic amount of medication. The could only provide oxygen and fluids and get him to the hospital as quick as possible.

"… Multiple drug OD, conscious and vomiting at scene, seized in the ambulance…" the paramedic called out to the awaiting ER staff as Casey was wheeled through to a trauma bay, there were already bruises forming on his fair skin where the restraints had lain.

"Here's all the meds he's on," Severide handed a nurse a list he'd grabbed from the house, "Think he's had over five days' worth."

"On purpose?"

"What?" he hadn't even thought of that possibility, "No. Accidental. He has short term memory issues. He has epilepsy from a head injury and he gets…"

"Sir we've pulled up his details," the nurse stated, "You can't be in here and you need to get that hand looked at."

"No I can't leave him, I…"

"Sir I promise we are taking the best care of him but you need to let us do that ok?"

"You have to do everything, you have to make sure he lives!"

Reluctantly Severide left the room just as Casey was intubated. The blaring of the monitors ceased as the doors closed behind him. Severide barely registered the doctor talking to him, the x-ray being taken and yet more talking. All his thoughts were focused on Casey and the idea that the nurse had put in his head. "On purpose?" No. Casey couldn't have done, would never have done that. It was an accident. His friend could barely plan a trip out of the house never mind an overdose, a suicide attempt. A suicide attempt. No it can't have been. It was accidental.

"Is there anyone we can call for you?" a nurse questioned, bringing him out of his worried trance.

"Do you know how Matt is?"

"They're still treating him," she replied, "Can I call anyone for you?"

"No it's fine, I've got my…" he reached to his pocket only to find it empty, "Damnit… My emergency contact, Leslie Shay, can you call her and tell her that… erm… tell her that I'm here with Casey and…"

"Would you like to use the phone?" she smiled sympathetically.

"Shay, it's Kelly," he began once she picked up the other end of the call.

"You all right?" she questioned urgently, "This came up as an unknown number?"

"I'm at Lakeshore with Casey, could you do me a couple favours?"

"Is he ok?"

"Could you go over to ours and make sure Sam is ok, I don't think I locked the front door either… actually can you bring Sam here and bring Casey's iPad, some clothes… clothes for both of us… erm… I'm not…"

"For both of you? Kelly what's happened?"

"Sorry could you just…"

"Yeah I'll be there as soon as I can."

When Shay arrived in the ER a little over half an hour later she found Severide having a cast put on his hand.

Severide looked up when the curtain was drawn back to reveal Shay carrying a large bag and holding Sam at the end of his lead. "Thanks Shay," he greeted quietly, he felt exhausted, physically and mentally, now the adrenaline had worn off and the painkillers they'd given him for his hand had kicked in.

"Are you ok? I mean, you're obviously not ok…" she let the curtain slip closed and walked over to the bed he was sat on.

"Just a few broken bones," he scoffed, it paled in comparison to everything Casey had gone through in the last eighteen months.

"Casey? I saw the vomit and the…"

"He overdosed."

Shay had assumed as much, "Is he ok?"

Severide shook his head, "There were five and a half days worth of meds in that organiser. Five and a half days. They won't let me see him yet, they're still treating him, he's still critical." The doctor had come to find him after his x-ray to talk to him about Casey but he could remember very little of the conversation.

"There, all done, you just need to wait forty-five minutes until it's set," the nurse informed him before she left to deal with another patient.

"Do you want me to see if I can find anything…"

"It was accidental but… but do you think he did it on purpose? Do you think he could do it on purpose?"

"What?"

"I thought it was an accident," Severide replied, frowning, looking down at his plastered hand.

"And now you think he did it on purpose?" she shook her head, "Casey would never… he wouldn't…" but that was before, before his world came crashing down around him, before his life was changed forever, "No. He would have had to think about… plan it and…"

"He's still smart. I told them to do everything they could to keep him alive. But he doesn't want that. There was a reason he wanted me to be in charge of his medical care," Severide thought aloud.

"You're thinking too much into this, he asked you months ago for that… Kelly he's not capable of trying to kill himself, you know that really," Shay tried her best to reassure him.

"Yeah," he nodded, "Yeah it was accident, he got confused and... yeah that makes more sense, that's more likely."

Half an hour later Casey's ER doctor came and found them, "Kelly Severide?"

Severide nodded and stood up from the waiting room chair, "Doc?"

The doctor pulled them aside and began, "Matt should be out of the woods now, we've admitted him, he's on dialysis to relieve his liver and kidneys, he's still intubated but once his O2 stats improve we can take the tube out. Once he's awake we'll check for any further neurological damage. We're giving him antibiotics because I'm worried about him developing pneumonia so this should fight any infection from aspirating some of his stomach contents. And you said this was an accidental overdose?" Severide nodded, "Ok an occupational therapist may want to discuss any living arrangements for after his recovery to make sure this doesn't happen again. You can see him briefly now before he's taken upstairs and then visiting hours are eight 'til eight."

Severide was led into the trauma bay. The machines whirled, the cardiac monitor beeped rhythmically, the tube from the gastric lavage was still secured with white tape on his nose. That and the ventilator nearly obscured the majority of his pale face. They'd yet to clean up the black smudges of charcoal.

"Damnit Casey," he muttered, "You're determined to make me turn grey early."

Shay managed to persuade Severide to go home. Casey's primary physician had been informed of the situation and has reassured Severide that everything looked good, he's already been taken off the ventilator after a quick test, he didn't expect Casey to wake up overnight and told him he'd call if anything happened, bad or good. So reluctantly Severide went home. He could smell the mess from Casey's bedroom as soon as he entered and let Sam off his lead.

Sam immediately went and sat in front of Casey's closed bedroom door. "He'll be home soon. He's gonna be ok," Severide bent over, patting him, "You did good Sam."

Severide had insisted that Shay didn't need to stay over, she however insisted that she'd be back in the morning to take him to the hospital, he couldn't drive with his hand in plaster. So he went about cleaning up Casey's room, cleaning the sheets, scrubbing the mattress and electric blanket, and he opened the window in hope of freshening up the place, all ready for Casey to return home.

Casey woke up the next day. He didn't speak but he seemed to be aware, he did follow the doctors instructions, he gripped lightly with his hands when asked, followed the man's pen, but still wouldn't speak. In the past Casey refused to speak when he was tired, when his words became jumbled before they even left his lips but right now he'd not even tried, his lips hadn't even parted.

"Doc?" Severide questioned at Casey's refusal to speak.

"He bit his tongue but not enough to stop him from trying to speak," the doctor replied.

"Let me try," Severide moved up to Casey's bed, "Hey you remember me right?"

Casey frowned, his glassy eyes looked right at Severide just briefly, but that was nothing new, he'd struggled to maintain eye contact since he'd woken up from the coma, and the frown that had crossed his face was not one of confusion, it was irritation, annoyance at being asked such a stupid question; of course he could remember Severide.

"Say something, tell me your name," Severide urged.

"Wh…pen…"

"What happened? Just an accident, you're ok," he replied, he doubted Casey would even remember this conversation, he wasn't about to tell him that he'd swallowed a load of pills. He looked up at the doctor who gave a curt nod, "Go back to sleep Case, I'll be right here."

At the firehouse nearly two days later Herrmann questioned, "Hey do guys know how Casey's doing?"

"Severide's barely said anything," Otis replied, all they knew was that Severide had broken his hand and Casey was in the hospital.

"He's still in the hospital, apparently he took a load of pills," Dawson supplied, having heard what had happened when they'd dropped off a patient at the ER.

"On purpose?" Otis questioned disbelievingly.

Dawson shrugged, "Wouldn't you?"

"Thought he was doing good? Getting better?" Otis asked.

"You don't get better from that," Dawson replied in a hushed tone.

"Dawson…" Herrmann began.

"Heads up," Otis stated when as Severide entered the common room.

"Lieutenant, how's Casey doing?" Herrmann called over.

"He's fine," he replied.

Herrmann smiled, "He want visitors?"

"Erm… he's still in the ICU, he's pretty out of it," he explained.

"Ok well let us know if…"

"Thanks guys, but don't worry, he'll be fine," he stated forcefully before heading to Boden's office.

"Kelly come in," Boden waved him through the open door, "Just wanted to check in with you, thought it was better in person rather than over the phone. What's the doctor said?" he eyed the cast on Severide's hand.

"Good as new in a few weeks."

"And Matt?"

"I… I don't know… erm… there shouldn't be any permanent damage."

"Talk to me Kelly," he implored.

Severide shook his head, smiled, "He'll be fine. You know Casey. He'll be all right."

When Severide arrived at the hospital a short while later he found that Casey had been moved to a private room, his regular doctor was sat with him, "I want you to remember these three words; phonebook…"

"Can't."

"I want you to try for me Matt," he urged.

"Leave," Casey muttered, annoyed at the other man's presence, Severide felt like apologising for his uncooperativeness.

"I can't," he replied, "I need you to answer some questions for me and then I will leave you alone, I promise."

Casey simply turned his head away; if he couldn't see the doctor, the doctor couldn't see him.

"Matt," he began with authority, "Look at me please."

"Please…"

"Matt do you know where you are?" he questioned clearly, emphasising every word.

Casey's eyes flickered around the room, he still didn't notice Severide's presence by the door, "Hospital."

He smiled, "Good Matt. Do you remember what happened?"

The doctor watched as Casey tried to recall what had led him to this moment but his face crumbled, "Sorry…"

"It's ok," he replied, a small smile on his lips, "Do you still feel nauseous? Sick?"

Casey frowned, "No." He can't remember telling the doctor just less than fifteen minutes ago that his stomach ached.

"Good, I'll be back in to see you later Matt. Kelly's here now," he looked back towards the door where Severide was patiently waiting, "But I think you should get some rest."

Severide and the doctor spoke out of Casey's earshot, "How is he?"

"It's difficult to tell if there's any further neurological damage," the doctor admitted, "We'll just have to keep an eye on him. As you saw, as you know, there's no use bombarding him with tests. We both know he needs to be willing to…"

"Yeah…" Severide sighed, he knew too well that Casey's mood heavily affected his mind, "Physically?"

"He still runs the risk of pneumonia…"

"But he's on antibiotics?"

The doctor nodded, "Besides that, liquid diet for a few days because of his tongue, but he doesn't seem fazed by that now although he's still being given painkillers…"

"He's still having all his usual meds right? If he misses a dose…"

"Kelly," the doctor placed an arm on Severide's shoulder, "You can relax, whilst he's here with us we'll handle everything."

Severide released a deep breath, "I know, I know, I'm sorry, I just…"

"You take great care of him Kelly, but you can let us do that just for a short while," the doctor smiled, "Sit with him, he's still feeling rather lost."

TBC