AN: A little chapter concentrating on Sirius and James, a little bit more interaction between them and a bit more of Regulus. I hope you enjoy and I hope this explains a few things I didn't put into the previous chapter. Enjoy. :)

Chapter Nine: After The Fall

James' eyes opened slowly, his body ached from head to foot and he couldn't prevent a soft groan from escaping his bloodied lips. He barely had any memory of actually being tortured, his first taste of the cruciatus had left him feeling empty and unbearably weak. He felt something holding his hand tightly and forced his eyes open, he found himself staring up into a blurry, pale oval of a face surrounded by black. "S-Siri?" He muttered and felt cold fingers tighten on his own.

"Yeah, it's me. Here." His glasses were pushed gently onto his face and Sirius came into sharper focus. "We don't have much time together…" Sirius muttered, his voice low as if he were in the room of a dying person, he glanced over his shoulder and James realised that they were in the Gryffindor Dorm. "Malfoy will come and get me soon."

"What happened? Why did you agree to Voldemort's demands?" James struggled into a sitting position, he saw Sirius' eyes move to the bandage on his arm and he frowned.

"I had to protect you and get my wand back." Sirius replied, brushing the comment away with a wave of his free hand and returning his gaze to James'. "I convinced my cousin that you'd be more valuable alive than dead, she agreed and gave me some terms…It was the only thing I could do at the time. At least it's bought us more time together." He smiled sadly and ran his thumb over the palm of James' hand, the touch was gentle and comforting. "As I said, Malfoy's here to escort me to the Slytherin common room where I will be a good little boy and do exactly as my mother tells me." Sirius' face twisted momentarily and exposed the seething anger and hatred behind his calm mask, it was quickly covered but he could never hide anything from his best friend. "For now it will work, until we can find a way out of this situation."

"But what about the others? Remus and Peter and Lily?"

"They're fine, so far as I know. Although I haven't seen Remus since the battle, I'm sure he's alive, we'd know if he was dead. I'm doing everything I can to ensure your safety but even I have my limits, they don't trust me and are using blackmail to keep me in line-I…" He trailed off, cocking his head to the side as if he was listening to something before he shook his head and gently removed his hand from James'. "I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me."

"What are they blackmailing you with?" James asked, making to grab Sirius' hand and return the comforting touch, but Sirius pulled away and stood up.

"My brother. They're threatening to murder Regulus unless I do as I'm told…He doesn't know and I intend to keep it that way."

"But he's your brother, doesn't Voldemort need your family's help?"

"He does but to him, Regulus is just the spare, he's heir insurance if you like. The family needs a male head and I'm the eldest, I'm the one who is supposed to inherit everything including our political responsibilities. Regulus is just there as backup in case I die, he's basically not worth as much to the Dark Lord as I am." Sirius glanced back to the door, fiddling with the sleeve of his robes in agitation, James noticed that he was clean and well presented, something that seemed strange when Sirius usually went around with crumpled robes, his tie undone and his hair unbound. "I haven't got much time."

"Sirius, you don't have to do this! Don't give into your parents demands so easily!"

Sirius looked at him through his fringe, his eyes dark and empty as if a Dementor had sucked out his soul. James shivered as a cloud passed over the weak sun, sending shadows dancing across Sirius' handsome face, it made him look eerily gaunt, as if he had been starved for a very long time. James could see the man he would become and the sight scared him almost more than the battle had, he swallowed a lump in his throat and reached out, taking Sirius' hand and drawing him to the bed where he sat. "It's only temporary, Jamie. All I care about is your safety." Sirius said in a soft whisper, lifting his hand and touching James' face with the tips of his frozen fingers. "I love you."

"Sirius, you turn sixteen soon."

Sirius flinched back, turning away and glaring at the floor. "I know."

"They'll expect you to do it, you know? They'll force you to."

"And if we haven't thought about how to get out of this situation by then I'll do it." Sirius sighed and stood up, brushing his robes down and straightening his shoulders, his pony tail slid over his shoulder and he managed a grim smile. "Hey, it could be ok, you know? I can live with anything they throw at me as long as I know you're alive."

"B-but what about us? What about what we have?" James leaned forward, grabbing Sirius' hand in his own before he could turn away.

"Jamie…" Sirius' voice caught in his throat, his eyes sparkled and the vision James had had of the man he would become was shattered. Now all James could see was a very scared, very uncertain boy. "Don't make this any harder than it already is."

"I'm not, I'm asking what we're going to do. What is going to become of us?"

"I-I don't know." Sirius' shoulders slumped and he looked down at his left hand where the snake bangle glittered in the sunlight streaming through the window. "This thing…it inhibits my magic, I-I can't change anymore, I can't turn into Padfoot. They've taken away my last hiding place and now I've got to live with all these emotions." He spat the word as if it tasted bad on his tongue and turned furious eyes on James. "It's going to break me, I can already feel it. It's overwhelming."

"You can do it, you're stronger than you think. You know running away from your emotions never really worked to begin with, you were only postponing the problems."

"I think it's because for years I've had to suppress myself and now I can't handle all these emotions, they're too much. Grief…what is that? I've never known it before until I saw y-you s-screaming a-and I…and I couldn't…c-couldn't…" Sirius lifted shaking hands to his eyes and covered them James gripped his shoulder tightly, acting as an anchor for him. "Jamie? I'm s-scared." His voice dropped to a whisper, as if he was afraid of admitting the truth.

"I know, so am I." James replied, unable to give comfort.

"My mum sent me a message, she told me to get on with it, to protect my brother…it's the only thing we've ever agreed on. Jamie, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure that he lives."

"I know, but we'll find a way to help him without you having to bow to your family, Sirius. I promise I'm going to help you."

Sirius looked up, his eyes shining oddly, he pushed a hand through James' messy hair and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Have you chosen yet?" He breathed, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

"Sirius, now is not the time."

"It's as good a time as any." Sirius' eyes opened and James saw the agonising hope in them. "Do you want me? Am I what you truly desire, Jamie? Or do you want a family, to raise children and have a wife? You need to make a decision…not just for me but for yourself. You have to make up your mind one day; is it me or Lily?"

"I'm not choosing, not now. It's too much on top of everything else." James watched as the hope died in Sirius' eyes, he smiled but there was no emotion behind it. He pulled away and stood up again, staring out of the window as if he were looking at something beyond the horizon.

"No matter what you choose, I'll always be there for you. If you find you want Lily then I'll support you, I'll be your friend, not matter how much it kills me." He smiled again, this time the expression was much more natural. "I'll never stop loving you."

James abruptly grabbed Sirius and yanked him onto the bed, he was unable to control the urge to hold him, to kiss him and so he gave into it. He breathed in Sirius' scent, like coconuts and cologne, it drove him crazy as desire ripped through him. He gasped, nipping at Sirius' bottom lip and earning a soft groan in response, Sirius' fingers tore at his collar, pulling his shirt open as he went into auto pilot. James grabbed Sirius' wrists, feeling the cool metal beneath his fingers and the almost painful tingle that raced over his skin at the contact with such a powerfully magical object. It only served to make him more aggressive, he wanted to reassure Sirius that he still had strong feelings for him, he wanted Sirius to never forget who he was and to know that James was there. Sirius kissed back with just as much passion, his mouth hot and wet and his stuttered breaths caressed James' skin making him shudder violently. Sirius slipped a hand beneath James' tatty shirt, his fingers leaving cool trails over his chest while his other hand drifted south. Just as the tips of Sirius' fingers reached the waist band of James' trousers a loud knock on the door forced them apart.

"Black! Get out here now, your time is up!"

Sirius shivered and closed his eyes, his lips parted as he tried to force his raging hormones under control. Finally he opened his eyes and sat up, nearly knocking his head into James'. "Alright! I'll be out in a minute." He snapped in the direction of the door, his face falling into a furious frown. "James, we'll be together again, I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't be sure to keep." James replied, buttoning his shirt back up and glaring at his hands angrily.

Sirius chuckled lightly, the sound oddly normal in the highly unusual situation. "This is one promise I will make sure I keep, my hand won't keep me satisfied forever." He stood up and straightened himself out, letting his robes fall back into place and smoothing his hair down before finally turning to take one last longing look at James. "I'll see you around." He said in a tight voice before striding to the door and yanking it open, Malfoy stood there with his arms folded across his chest and an angry frown on his pointed face.

"You took your time, Black. I hope you weren't planning rebellion in there."

Sirius sneered and the expression made James' whole body go cold, he could finally see the family resemblance between himself and his cousin Bellatrix. "Don't be so fucking stupid Malfoy, I've got my priorities straight. Let's get out of here before you start to melt, it must torture for you to be in here, surrounded by actual human beings." Sirius stalked past his cousin's husband and ignored Malfoy's acidic reply, James watched them go in silence, grief stole over his heart and he sighed heavily as he fell back into bed and covered his eyes with his arms.

XXX

The Slytherin common room was filled with watery light that filtered down through the water above them, Sirius gazed around in vague curiosity, he had heard it described to him many times but he had never been in himself. There was a large bookshelf upon which many old books lay, some bound in leather that looked ancient, Sirius' curiosity flared as he eyed the books, at least he would have something to do in his spare time. Malfoy put a firm hand on his shoulder, his fingers digging into the muscle painfully but Sirius refused to wince or give any sign that it hurt. "Welcome to your new home, Black. I'm sure that you will enjoy your time here."

Sirius looked around at the Slytherin students, noting all those who sent him looks of disdain, he was used to it, he lived with it when he wasn't at Hogwarts and he could live with it now. These people meant nothing to him. "I'm sure we'll get on like a house on fire." He said, looking down his nose at Mulciber, Avery (who had somehow been turned back into human form) and Snape. "Many of us are old friends." He put on his best smirk and watched Avery send him a poisonous glare.

"Just be sure to follow orders, Black. Rebellion will not be tolerated." Malfoy released him and smiled nastily. "I hope you do slip up, it would give me no end of joy to see you brought to your knees."

"He probably spends a lot of his time on his knees in front of Potter, he's used to it." Avery sneered, his eyes glittering maliciously.

"Oh dear, I didn't know you swung that way, Avery! Your mother must be most disappointed, to think that her only son spends his time thinking about me blowing my best friend!"

"Fuck off, Black, you know what I meant." Avery flushed crimson and looked away.

"You won't be welcomed here." Snape said softly as he lowered the book he had been reading, Sirius noted that it was the sixth year potions text book. "Do not expect friendly reception, we don't like bloodtraitors."

"I can assure you Snivellus, the feeling is mutual. I'm not here to make any friends."

Malfoy leaned down and whispered in Sirius' ear, he shivered and could hear the smirk in his smug voice. "Enjoy yourself, cousin." He hissed the word as if it were a curse before releasing Sirius and leaving him alone with his new housemates.

Everyone stared at him and Sirius held his head high, meeting everyone's eyes and daring them to speak but it seemed that they had said all there was to say. He turned and went towards the door to the fifth year dorms, he was halted when someone said his name, he turned to find his brother standing behind him. "Sirius, we need to talk."

Sirius let a natural smile grace his face and gestured to the dorms which were empty, Regulus followed him inside and, just before he closed the door, the room erupted into excited chatter. When they were alone Sirius turned to his brother, looking at him and noting that the bruise he had caused had been healed. "What do you want, Reg?"

"I just wanted to say that if you get your act together we could go back to the way things were before…well…before you became a Bloodtraitor."

Sirius sighed and moved to the bed where his trunk now stood. "Reg, I'll always be a bloodtraitor, you know that."

"Why? Why can't you change? I don't want to see you hurt again! I don't want our family to continue to argue all the time. Why do you have to be so-so awful?"

"I am who I am, nothing can change that. I'm sorry, little brother but there are things going on that are far bigger than our stupid family feuds. There are more important things than following the rules and being good."

"But you're the heir! You can become so much if you just stopped-"

"Stopped what? Stopped being myself? Change everything I am to please parents that wouldn't care if I lived or died?" Sirius smiled bitterly. "Regulus, you're the one they love, not me. Even if I was the perfect son I'd still be the outcast, just look at Alphard, mother hates him but he's still good enough to remain on that stupid family tree at home. I can't change now, it's been too long and I know that I'll never be loved by mum and dad, so why bother?"

Regulus sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes as if he were tired, he sank down onto the nearest bed and gazed sadly at his older brother. "I don't think I can take much more arguing."

Sirius smiled weakly and held out his hands. "I wish things were different." He said.

"They could be different if you'd just be different." Regulus stood up and shook his head. "It's not that hard, Sirius."

"Mum and Dad love you, you've never experienced their cruelty and anger." Sirius lowered his head as if it was paining him, he rubbed his temples and grit his teeth. "You don't know what it's like to live with that kind of abuse, it hurts, Reg. When they call me useless and a waste of space I start to believe them, I start to second guess myself in everything I do and it's torture. I can't live like that."

"You can stop it, you can turn into a better son, a better person. You can agree to the engagement with Rosa and-"

"I can't." Sirius looked up and frowned at his brother. "I have my reasons and marriage is certainly not on the cards for me."

"But why? I've seen her picture, she's stunning!"

Sirius sneered. "Looks aren't everything and even if they were I'd still refuse."

"You could start a family, Sirius! You could become a Dad and make our parents proud."

"Reg, just listen for once; I can't marry. Not Rosa, not anyone! Do you understand?"

"Not really." Regulus frowned at his brother, becoming angry by his stubborn refusal to agree to anything his parents suggested. If he got an offer of marriage he would jump at the chance, especially to a beautiful girl like Rosa Gamp. "You're being stupid and childish, you're turning sixteen soon and you know that's when our parents intend to seal the contract of engagement, why can't you get married? Everyone does it."

"Alphard's not married."

"Yeah well, every family has one weirdo."

"We seem to have quite a few." Sirius smirked and he saw Regulus trying to suppress his own smile. "I know you don't understand why I can't get married but please don't push me anymore, I'm tired."

"It's not 'can't' though, is it? It's 'won't'. There's a difference, you may as well tell the truth."

"Actually it's a little bit of both." Sirius muttered, frowning at his new bed spread with its giant silver snake sewn onto it. "If I could marry I would like to, it would be nice to be able to seal your love with a ceremony and a ring and all the other stuff that comes with it but I'm not allowed."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Regulus lifted an eyebrow in confusion.

"Doesn't matter, Reg. Just forget what I said and go get some sleep, we've got lessons tomorrow."

"I can't just forget, there's something going on that I don't understand…from what you're telling me you can't get married but you would if you could and you won't marry Rosa…that doesn't make any sense! Well, it doesn't if you're talking about marrying a girl-" His eyes widened and Sirius stood up, he walked towards the door and put his hand on it, Regulus noticed how much he was shaking.

"Come on, it's time to go." Sirius said softly, pulling open the door and waiting there patiently for his brother to leave.

"S-Sirius…a-are you…are you trying to tell me t-that y-you're…?"

"Good bye, Reg." Sirius' face darkened and he spoke forcefully, his eyes turning as dark as storm clouds.

"But…but that means that…oh…oh Merlin! Are the rumours true? Are you and Potter…? Have you actually had s-sex? With a boy?" Regulus got his confirmation when Sirius blushed, his brother rarely blushed. "Oh…oh no…My own brother…"

"Are you finished?" Sirius said in a tight voice, his fingers white on the handle of the door.

"Yes, yes I think I am." Regulus was pale, he was staring at his brother in a whole new light. Sirius was in a sexual relationship with his best friend, he was in love with another boy. He walked to the door as if he were walking on air, he caught himself just as he reached Sirius and cleared his throat. "I think deep down…I think I knew."

"Wish I did earlier, it would've saved me a lot of hassle."

"If mum and dad find out they'll…"

"Yeah, I know."

Regulus gave his brother one last, hard look before smiling weakly. "I understand a lot now."

Sirius returned his expression. "Yeah, I didn't mean to hide it from you…it's just that I didn't want it getting around, obviously."

"I'll keep it a secret but you won't be able to hide it forever."

"I don't know, I think I will take this secret to my grave."

"Good night, Sirius."

"'night, Reg."

The door closed behind Regulus and Sirius slumped against it, he sighed and looked up at the dark stone ceiling.