Disclaimer: IDOM

Hey, guys! Sorry for how late I'm posting this:. I got caught up up with a new project I'm doing (and feeling guilty for not working on my homework instead)- but I got it done! Unfortunately, I didn't get the hunting trip in this chapter, but nevertheless, I hope your pleased with it. Also, quick note: I was very happy with 'The Kindness of Strangers.' I don't want to give too much away because there was some major development towards the finale and Merlin's destiny and -No, wait... *breathes* If I start talking about it, I'll go into fangirl mode and then I will end up giving stuff away... Just... keep this in mind: Kilgharrah, Camlann, Morgana declaring war. That's all I'm saying! :D

Enjoy:

Chapter 9: Dreams and Daughters

"Non nobis solum nati sumus. (Not for ourselves alone are we born.)"

―Marcus Tullius Cicero

That night, Merlin dreamed again.

After Arthur had left, Merlin had read for a few more minutes but found that his mind just wasn't in it anymore, it could have been his exhaustion catching up with him from not sleeping soundly the night before, or it could have been because of the conversation he's had with Arthur before he'd left.

So he'd straightened up his area and had blown out the candles, save one next to Gaius's bedside. He walked towards the door again, with a few books in hand, but paused and turned back towards the elderly physician. A smirk of fondness tugged at his full lips, then, his eyes flashed a molten gold and slowly the wool blankets crawled up to completely cover Gaius. It was the least he could do after all.

He turned back towards the wooden door, spying the herbs that Gaius tied to the upper support to dry out. As he reached the door, the distinct smell of marigold, rue, and mint leaves reached his nostrils. His lithe hand hesitated at the handle as he drunk in the scents, eyes closed and thankful for at least one sense of semblance.

The young warlock finally pulled on the door handle, repositioning the books he held underneath his arm. Stepping out into the hallway, he caught the distinct smell of burning ash from the torch across the hallway as the tangerine flame flickered in the tell-tale breeze in the corridor.

His thoughts, evidently inevitably, turned towards the subject they'd spent all afternoon researching: time travel, Cornelius Sigan, or any of his apprentices.

And they'd found nothing. Out of all the books they managed to get through –if they could skim- neither Gwaine, Gaius, or himself had found anything useful about how this had all happened. But he had learned a few more spells; simple things like a quick healing spell amongst a few other ones that he supposed could come in handy.

He buried his face in the crook of his arm just as a yawn escaped his quickly widening mouth and turned the corner, mesmerized by another flickering torchlight.

Merlin had spoken with Gaius about continuing their research the next day and the physician had readily agreed –if only to find out if this sickness Merlin had was serious.

A set of footsteps broke him from his thoughts and just as he blinked, Gwaine's long stride met his as the corridor broke off into two hallways.

The knight smiled and took his hand off the pommel of his sword. Obviously, he hadn't expected anyone to be out this late. "Merlin!"

Merlin grinned. "Gwaine."

"How've you been?"

Merlin swore he could see a glint of foreknowledge in Gwaine's eyes as he answered; "Fine. And yourself?"

"Same. It seems like patrol never ends though."

The warlock chuckled tiredly which ended up being just another yawn.

Gwaine eyes his younger companion with a wary eye. "Tired?"

"You could say that. I thought you went to bed hours ago?"

"Did."

"So why-–"

"-am I on patrol at this god forsaken hour of the night?"

Merlin smiled again and nodded, raven colored hair reflecting the orange torchlight.

"Favor to Percival. He was on patrol earlier, and said he felt like he dead when he got back."

The younger man laughed again. "I know the feeling."

Gwaine let out a bark of laughter, taking in Merlin's appearance once more: the wariness in his cerulean eyes, the barely noticeable dark circles surrounding them against his pale face, and the lines of fatigue that lined his lower eyelid, making him look older than Gwaine remembered.

The knight clapped Merlin on the shoulder. "Get to bed, Merlin, you're dead on your feet."

"Sound advice, my friend. Arthur wants to go on a hunting trip in the morning on top of that."

Gwaine's eyebrows scrunched and his mouth turned into an amused smirk. "I hadn't heard of that."

Merlin ran a hand through his coal colored hair. "I honestly think he just made the decision on the spot, not thirty minutes ago."

"Sound like him. Who's all going?"

"Just me and him apparently."

Gwaine found back a proud grin, though not for Merlin as much as for his gallant king. He knew from Leon about the conversation he'd had with Arthur earlier that afternoon and what Arthur had told him. It seemed as if Arthur was standing by his word; he was going to talk to Merlin. About which subject was the question.

"Did he say anything else?"

Merlin pursed his lips. "Come one, this is Arthur we're talking about; he doesn't tell me anything."

Gwaine laughed. "Right. Well, I better get back to work. Listen," he said when Merlin balled his hand into a fist as another yawn erupted from his throat, "you'd better get some sleep or else you'll be half dead in the morning."

Merlin nodded. "Alright then." Merlin shuffled his books in his arms. "Night."

Gwaine clapped Merlin's shoulder once more and brushed past him. "Night."

The warlock smiled and continued on his way. The remaining walk to his chambers seemed to take too long for his liking but when he finally arrived, he was dragging his feet as he opened the heavy wooden door. He set the too-heavy books on the table that stood in front of the quiet hearth and lit a candle, barely taking the time to change into night clothes before settling down in his overly large bed and blowing out the candle.

He was asleep almost immediately…

Merlin tied his gray neckerchief around his neck, tying it in a not before adjusting it. Afterwards, he stole a glance at Arthur, who, since he sat down hadn't said anything.

"Arthur," he started, looking at the ground. His knees were spread apart and his elbows rested on his dirty brown breeches, his hands folded together nervously between his knees. He had every reason to be nervous; he'd know what Gwaine was doing the first moment he'd spoken up. "I'm sorry."

After a few moments Arthur answered, "For what?"

Merlin knew that voice; he'd heard it before when Arthur had been disciplining his knights. It was his I-know-what-you-did-wrong-but-I-want-you-to-tell-m e voice. He thought it fit; if they were going to work this out, they had to have everything out on the table.

"For everything." Merlin said guiltily. "For not telling you, for lying to you, deceiving you."

Merlin shifted uneasily in his sleep, his blankets being flattened between his slender hands as he tightened them against his too-warm body. The warlock's chest pulsated with his quickened breathing. He mumbled in his sleep. "Arth…"

Merlin closed his eyes against the sorrow growing inside him. His heart was rising in his throat and he swallowed against the lump. He knew Arthur was right; he had lost faith. He'd always thought that his secret would be revealed, but he hadn't accepted it. Instead, he'd put faith in the thought that Arthur would never find out his secret, he'd told Lancelot as much when they were hiding from the Dorocha. Perhaps… perhaps he'd gone so far as to believe that Arthur would kill him had he found out.

"But I understand."

Merlin head snapped up, his blue eyes flying open. And only then did he see Arthur's expression, if only from the side of his face. He looked tired, and he looked sad, and he looked resigned, and he looked sympathetic. "W-what?"

"I understand why you did what you did; the lies, the deceit. All those times I denounced and cursed magic and anyone who used it; ...I pushed you away Merlin, and I hadn't even noticed. I can't even imagine how much that hurt you, how scared you must have been for your life. I forced you to lie. I forced you to do all of those things on your own, to gothrough all of that alone, so I can understand why you didn't tell me. And...So I forgive you."

Later, he would realize that these were memories. A pit of anxiousness grew in his stomach. "Arthur…"

"My name's Merlin."

"So I don't know you?"

"No –"

"And yet you called me 'friend?'

"Yes, that was my mistake."

Merlin' fingers twitched and his arm passed over his head as his memories played on.

"Well, my family's there...and I don't just mean Gaius. You, Gwen, the Knights, you guys are my family. I wouldn't have left forever."

Merlin knew that Arthur understood as his sky-blue eyes softened with compassion and then felt the shock of surprise as Arthur's arms came around him and wrapped him in a hug.

Arthur understood: he'd accepted Merlin, and so he felt a rush of relief and a feeling of brotherly affection and hugged Arthur back.

It was one of the rare moments of mutual understanding between the two opposites; brute force and patient understanding; physical strength to magical strength; a king to a peasant; and so when both pulled away and swiped quickly at their eyes, neither said anything.

They'd both needed that for so many reasons.

The image changed to another memory.

"I'm proving that you're their leader and their King," Merlin said determinedly as a small smirk pulled subtly at his full lips. His heart leapt with giddy excitement.

Arthur's mouth parted. "That sword is stuck fast in solid stone!"

"And you're going to pull it out."

It was what he'd placed it in the stone for in the first place; so that when the time came, Arthur could claim his rightful sword.

Well, now was the time.

"Merlin, it's impossible."

Merlin could see the uncertainty, the self-doubt and insecurity in Arthur's anxious blue eyes.

Merlin imagined his own eyes almost exerting faith and fervency as his voice grew more serious. "Arthur, you're the true King of Camelot."

Arthur glanced around. "Do you want me to look like a fool?"

"No, I'm going to make you see that Tristan's wrong!" he whispered passionately. "You're not just anyone. You are special. You and you alone can draw out that sword."

Something clenched in his chest as Merlin's head buried itself in one of the pillows beneath his head. Something had changed; something was wrong. "Arthur…"

Arthur decided to narrow his eyes and add, "Which we are going talk about once we get back to Camelot."

"Oh, great, now I'm in trouble," Merlin said, feigning shame. "You prat!"

Arthur just rolled his eyes, Gaius and Gwaine laughed, and Gwen finally smiled. This was more like it.

"Well, at least I'm not a clotpole," Arthur shot back.

"That's still my word," Merlin said.

"And it still fits you perfectly." They all laughed. This was how it was supposed to be, no Merlin dying, not them going to find the dragon for help, but this.

"No…"

"Arthur!" Merlin called.

The courtyard was littered with bodies, the pungent stench almost unbearable in the biting coldness of the night. The flames from burning wood crackled and snapped, sending radiating waves of dark grey smoke into the air to burn the corners of Merlin's eyes and shadowed the sharp features of his face as his piercing blue eyes looked determinedly into the twilight of the disheveled courtyard.

"Arthur!"

A battle cry rang in the air as swords clashed, akin to the jumble of Merlin's mindset. Morgana had raised an army of the dead and now her sister Morgause –because who else could it be- had sent another army to attack directly through the lower town.

"Ar-thur… no…"

And then a rush of images came through his mind, bombarding his tired mind with such a force Merlin almost cried out as his chest throbbed.

"You have to believe, Arthur."

"Don't worry, Arthur. I'll find her."

"Merlin!"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Stop!"

"You are destined to be Albion's greatest king."

"You never know when you might need to kill someone."

"Gwen!"

"I'm telling you, Gaius has been kidnapped."

"Arthur!"

The images slowed, seemingly sluggish, and the vision deepened to a darkened grey until a blimp of light grew and expanded, showing Merlin the scene as if through a mirror. Time seemed to slow. But this time it was no longer a memory…

He kneeled on the floor of the Great Hall. Merlin only saw his own back, meaning he couldn't identify the body he was clutching tightly to his own. A sharp pang shot through his heart, though, as his own heartbreaking sobs reached his ears.

Then he was wrenched out of his vision so suddenly and so violently that he suddenly jerked upright in bed, crying out as a bead of sweat trailed down his temple.

"Merlin!"

Someone grabbed his shoulders, but Merlin fought against them, panicked.

"Merlin, stop, it's me!"

Finally, Merlin recognized his king's voice and his arms tensed as he stopped thrashing, instead slouching into the open arms and wondering what Arthur was doing in his chambers. He didn't know he'd voiced his thoughts until his friend's voice, edged with concern and humor, answered back.

"I told you: we're going hunting, remember?"

Merlin leaned back and put his slender hand against his forehead, nodding.

"Are you alright?"

The warlock felt a stir of nausea in his stomach and a short wave of dizziness and fought to keep his mind out of his dreams. "Yes, yes. I'm fine."

Arthur frowned. "Liar. Come on, get dressed."

Merlin rubbed his eyes, climbing out of bed. "What time is it?"

The king stepped away from the bed and sat down in one of the chairs at Merlin's table as the man gathered some clothes and went behind the changing screen. "An hour before dawn."

Merlin peeled off his white nightshirt and shivered as the cold air tickled his black-haired chest. He quickly slipped one of the tunics that Guinevere had had made special; fabric much too sumptuous for an everyday peasant, but not too showy to match that of royalty. He put on a pair of fresh breeches and came out from behind the changing screen. "Wonderful."

Arthur grinned and crossed his arms over the back of the chair, resting his chin on the fulcrum of his arms. "I thought we should leave early."

"This early?" The warlock sat on the foot of his bed and peeled off his socks, not daring to touch the no doubt freezing stone floor until he donned a new pair of socks. After that he slipped his boots on and tied a blue neckerchief over his red shirt.

"Yes."

Merlin rolled his eyes, but smiled, and threw on the deep green cloak Gwen gave him; she said she had to find out where they'd put his Court Sorcerer's cloak.

Arthur scrunched his eyebrows. "A cloak?"

"I thought it'd be warmer than my jacket."

"Yes, and you're more likely to draw attention to yourself."

Merlin's stomach sunk slightly. After that initial trip to the lower town with Gwaine during his first day back, things had been a bit tense. The children still came to him without hesitancy or trepidation, but the older ones gave him a wider berth, glancing in passing and then with a look in their eyes. Merlin couldn't describe it but it put him on edge. The last thing he wanted to do was draw attention to himself.

He sighed. "I'll get my jacket."

Arthur eyes softened even without needing to know what Merlin was thinking; he already knew. As his friend unclipped the brooches at his collar bone, threw the cloak on his bed, and rifled through his wardrobe, Arthur opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't think of anything to say to make Merlin feel better, so, stupidly, he closed his mouth just as Merlin turned back towards him, now wearing his fine leather jacket.

"Ready."

Arthur put on a false smile and stood. "Perfect. Come on."

Arthur led the way out the door and the pair walked silently through the corridors until they reached the courtyard. Merlin's breath smoked in the crisp air, as did Arthur's and the two horse's already ready and saddled standing by the stone statue at the foot of the steps.

"When'd you do this?"

"Merlin, don't be ridiculous. I didn't do this."

Merlin laughed genuinely. "You got a servant to do it, didn't you?"

"Well, I am a king."

"Clotpole."

"Idiot."

They both smiled genuinely as they mounted their steeds, both chestnut brown mares except that Merlin's had a long white star on his forehead. The warlock's forehead wrinkled as he noticed the full saddlebags. Of course he'd been expecting hunting equipment, whereas he saw two crossbows tethered to Arthur's horse and a longbow strapped to his own as well as a sword on either horse, but he hadn't expected there to be a bag full of food with them.

"How long are we staying out?" he asked.

"I figured we'd stay out all afternoon."

"But what about the research?"

Arthur nodded in understanding. "Don't worry. I left Guinevere a note to tell Gaius of our plans."

Merlin looked skeptical for a few seconds before he nodded back. Gwen could be trusted with that. In fact, she'd probably help the physician. "Alright."

The king smirked. "Now that you're satisfied, can we leave?"

Merlin grinned and, without directly answering, kicked his horse lightly in the ribs and clicked his tongue. The clatters of his horse's hooves were soon joined by in by Arthur's and the sound echoed around the vacant square as they rode through the open portcullis.

Guinevere woke to her daughter gently shaking her shoulder and to a quiet, high-pitched voice in her ear.

"Mother?" Abigail hissed. "Mother?"

She could feel her daughter's hot breath in her face and slowly opened her chocolate brown eyes. "Abigail? What is it?"

The young girl smiled and held up a piece of paper. "Father left a note."

Gwen's brow scrunched and, yawing, she sat up in bed. "What?"

Abigail shoved a piece of parchment in her hand and climbed up onto the bed beside her. "Father left a note saying he was going hunting with Uncle Merlin and wouldn't be back till late."

The queen blinked and allowed her eyes to focus on her husband's neat handwriting. The note did indeed say that, minus the 'Uncle.' Guinevere nevertheless smiled at how the children had taken to calling him such.

The note also spoke of the research that Merlin, Gaius, and Gwaine had been doing the previous day and asked her to inform the Court Physician of their recent change of plans, but to still continue looking for the cause of the time travel anomaly.

Guinevere promptly groaned and flopped back down on the bed with her hands covering her face as her daughter scrunched her golden eyebrows in confusion. "What time is it?"

"Two hours after dawn."

God, why were children given so much energy? She slowly sat up once more. "Well, Gaius'll be at his rounds now. Let's have some breakfast, shall we? Where's Rowan?"

"Sarah's looking after him. He was up all night; now he's sleeping."

Guinevere's forehead crinkled. "Why wasn't I woken?"

"Sarah thought you'd want to sleep with everything happening."

"So you stayed up with her?"

Abigail tried to bite back a grin and feigned offence. "How do you know that?"

Gwen slowly crept forward, grinning openly, and grabbed her daughter's nose, shaking it softly. "Because otherwise you wouldn't know what Sarah said." After that, the queen lunged forward and tickled her daughters sides, making her squeal loudly with the noise tripling as it echoed around the room.

"Stop it! Stop it!" the young girl squealed. Abigail breathlessly pulled backwards out of her mother's reach and grabbed her stomach, doubling over with panting laughter as her mother laughed with her. "You're evil!"

That only made Guinevere laugh harder and fake-lunge at her daughter from atop the bed. Abigail flinched, laughing as she fell against a wall.

Slowly things winded down and Guinevere stood up from the bed without Abigail flinching. Her well-fitting nightgown, decorated with cinnamon brown flowers, splayed out against the cold, grey stone floor and her frizzy-from-sleep braid feel victim to gravity as it trailed down her back. She stepped over her daughter and let out a hand to help her up. Abigail, with an amusingly wary blue eye, took her mother's hand and was pulled to her feet.

"What should I wear today, my princess?" Guinevere asked, chocolate brown eyes sparkling.

Abigail jumped towards the queen's wardrobe and flung the carefully decorated doors open. "The purple one!"

"The purple one?"

"Yes!"

"Why the purple one?"

"Because you look prettiest in it!"

Guinevere laughed and couldn't help but mentally correct her daughter's grammar.

Abigail pulled the mauve colored dress off the hanger and bundled it in her arms. She shoved it into her mother's hands and then went behind her and pushed on her lower back towards the dressing screen. Gwen giggled and went willingly behind the stand.

She quickly changed and then came out from behind the screen and sat at the table with Abigail just as her daughter passed her a plate full of food.

"Who delivered this then?" Guinevere asked.

Abigail plopped a blueberry into her mouth and swallowed. "Me... but Leon helped."

Gwen smirked; recently, her daughter had tried to do more things by herself, including bring her parents breakfast in the morning… but she never made it all the way back to the royal chambers without an escort.

"Well that was kind of him," she commented, taking a bit out of a grape tomato.

"I could have done it myself."

The queen nodded, knowing that while she wanted to reassure her daughter, she couldn't let her believe that she could do everything on her own. "Of that, I've no doubt, but it's never a bad thing to accept help."

"I know," the young girl said. Then; "What do you think father and Merlin are doing now?"

Guinevere smiled and took a drink from her goblet of water. "Hunting, I imagine."

In truth, she knew that they'd be doing much more than that and she smiled at her husband's thoughtfulness. He told her he'd talk to Merlin about the crystal and what better way to get him to talk then take him out of the city?

"Do you think they'll bring anything back for dinner?"

"Possibly."

Abigail smiled and leaned forward with her elbows on the table. "I want to get out of Camelot. Mother, can we ride later?"

The queen shook her head even though she wouldn't mind going for a ride herself. "Not today my dear, I have to help Gaius."

"With what?"

Gwen ate another tomato but felt a small pinch in her stomach as she explained. "We're trying to find out how to get Merlin back to his own time."

"His own time? What?"

Guinevere sighed. "Well, you know how father and I have told you stories of Uncle Merlin?"

Abigail nodded and grinned widely as she gestured with her hands. "Wonderful stories about battles and griffins and witches and tavern fights-–No, wait that was Uncle Gwaine…"

The queen laughed loudly and nearly choked on her water. "Abigail!"

The princess smiled and leaned even further over the table, her hair almost touching her half-eaten plate of food. "What?"

The patient mother only shook her head and continued. "You remember the story we told you of how Merlin went missing, correct?"

The girl nodded.

"Well, somehow, Merlin traveled in time and arrived here. We're trying to find a way to send him back to the past."

Instantly, concern and bewilderment creased her brow as she frowned. "But why would he want to go back? He's with us now."

Guinevere herself frowned and placed her hand over her daughters. "It's not that simple, my love. There's something wrong with his being here that complicates things. It's something to do with Merlin's magic…"

And the sickness she's seen in his eyes.

"What's wrong with his magic?"

Gwen bit her lip. "I think… I think it's sick."

"His magic? Can magic be sick?"

"I guess so."

"But what's making it sick?"

The queen shook her head. "That's what we're meant to find out; if we can find out how to send him back, he might get well again."

Abigail's golden eyebrows scrunched. "Can't Gaius cure him?"

Gwen shook her head. She was sure that if Merlin had told anyone about his sickness, it would have been his guardian-twelve years older or not-and if nothing positive had happened yet… "It doesn't seem so."

"Oh," was all her daughter said to that. And then; "Maybe Gavin and I could help?"

Guinevere smiled softly at her daughters offer. "I don't see why not."

We're pulling in the kids! :D I felt like I'd been neglecting them a little considering the reviews I got about how much you guys liked them. Plus, since they're the main characters kids, I felt like I needed to bring them in again. :D

Thanks for reading.