Last time…
He had no idea how hungry he was until the aroma of miso soup wafted in and his stomach loudly rumbled. "Good afternoon Kakashi-san, hope you're ready for a little sustenance," she cheerfully said. Artfully arranging his bed and pillows, the nurse helped him sit upright, "The spoon is on your right Kakashi-san," she was whispering now, "I sneaked in a bowl of beef stock for your dog, too if that's all right."
In his famished state, he'd almost forgotten about Pakkun lying beside him. "I appreciate your consideration—Pakkun, what do you say when someone brings you food?"
"What," he gruffed," just stock and no meat?"
-000-
With Kotetsu, Izumo, and most of his groceries gone, Iruka could finally settle down and make sense of the jumbled notes spread before him. I have enough information here to start my own archive, or at the very least enough to fill ten semesters worth of history lessons. Armed with a fresh cup of coffee, and a fresh notepad of blank paper, Iruka waded out into the tranquil pond of information.
A half an hour later said pond was as a wind-tossed ocean and Iruka in dire need of a lifejacket.
"All right, he breathed, "I have to regroup, come at this thing a different way." His father used to tell him that it was possible for a person to eat an entire elephant, if he took it one bite at a time'. Disgusting imagery aside, Iruka realized he'd have to pick one family that intrigued him most, and focus his attention on them. Easier said than done, each family's story was compelling.
Many hands make light the load - that's it! "I could turn this thing into a class project," he muttered. Snatching a clean sheet of paper from his pad, Iruka jotted down the names of Konoha's six noble clans along with a one or two word descriptor.
Once sparked, inspiration ignited a wildfire of ideas. Extra credit the incentive, he wrote, I can divide the class into sections reinforcing the concept of teamwork… help students understand synergistic relationships amongst the clans. Leaning back in his chair, Iruka was about to congratulate himself when he saw that his plan had a major flaw; he'd need approval from the clan leaders and the Council of Elders before his project could get off the ground. That could take months, or years of appeasements and political maneuvering, in addition to the research he'd have to compile and repeatedly present.
Maybe I'd do better if I start with a smaller clan. Hmm…that leaves the Hatake and the Sumimura. His decision made, a torrent of questions inundated his mind faster than his pen could form into words. Did the Hatake family still maintain a residence in the countryside? How many of them were still alive? Why in heaven's name would anyone name their child 'scarecrow'? "Well," he laughingly said, "Kakashi-san does have that 'willowy wind-blown' look, he lives in isolation, despite being on constant public display, and he was frightening to his enemies, even at a distance. I guess it was an appropriate choice after all."
Gathering his notes, Iruka steered his thoughts to the most pressing matter; getting approval for his idea. I'll be in the archives already, and I know where I can find Kakashi-sensei. If I put together a report and present it to him, there's a good chance he'll allow me to use the information for my classes. I should wait a few days before approaching Kakashi-san; heaven knows I don't want him to agree if he's flying high on painkillers. On second thought, maybe that would be the best time to get his approval.
Ice-cold reality abruptly doused Iruka's enthusiasm, "What was I thinking," he wondered aloud. "Getting that man to willingly provide information about anything is like pulling a hen's wisdom teeth."
Well, if Kakashi-san refuses to go along with my idea, maybe I could ask him appeal to Taji-san on my behalf. I bet having her recount stories of fighting ayakashi would be an interesting way to kick off this project. Failing that, my last and most desperate resort, would be Gai-sensei, who just might prove himself an untapped fount of knowledge. Of course, he's known Kakashi for years, which means he knows Taji-san as well, and – nah, he shook his head; I don't have the strength for another conversation with Gai-sensei.
-000-
Kakashi was all set to drift off into a dreamless slumber land. His belly was full, and he'd had a not so relaxing, but cleansing bath. Tsunade almost split her sides earlier when he put in a request for a shapely young nurse to give him a sponge bath. She'd mumbled something about not wanting him to overtax himself, but insisted she had the perfect person in mind.
That should have tipped him off right there, but trusting soul that he was…
The nurse Tsunade assigned him was shapely all right, like a surprised puffer fish, according to Pakkun, and damn near as prickly. And, she was young - once. If memory served him correctly, this same woman was a fledgling medic the last time his father had a long hospital stay. Hatsumi Takahasi, she was just a brutal as he remembered. Still, he had to give credit where it was due. She might have been older than dirt, and her sponge baths were heartlessly thorough, but she gave great massages.
Feeling like a bowl full of over-cooked udon, Kakashi scrunched down under warm clean sheets and searched his memory for a much beloved dream. "Ah," he contentedly sighed, "There it is!" Just as his favorite heroine from Make-Out Paradise Volume One, and her heaving bosom was about to reach out and touch his very sensitive…
"At Last My Eternal Rival, You Have Been Freed From the Shackles Of A Near Comatose State!" Gai disrupted enthusiastically. "Fear Not My Rival, In Due Time We Shall Contend For The Mastery… "
Dammit, dammit, dammit! I don't have enough chakra for a replacement jutsu, the rest of the pack took off with Taji, and Pakkun never viewed Gai as a threat. Think fast Kakashi! If you ignore him he'll keep talking, if you respond in any way, he'll keep talking. I have to do something unexpected and drastic!
The jutsu Kakashi settled on was lethal in its efficacy; he was going to kick himself later for doing this, but there was no other choice.
Pulling the covers over his head, Kakashi happily and very loudly stated, "Thanks for checking on me buddy! You know, I was really looking forward to spending time talking with you, but I don't think I can keep my eyes open another minute. Think you can stop by for a visit tomorrow. Great, thanks Gai, you're the best friend I've ever had."
Partial Truth, False Compliment no jutsu…complete. It never failed to shock Gai into stunned silence.
In his lifetime, many people called Gai many things, Tai-jutsu master, loud, loyal…obtuse. None of these titles meant as much as his Eternal Rival call him "Friend."
Kakashi heard the spandex stretch when Gai's chest swelled to enormous proportions with pride, and the heat of a sunset behind Gai, warmed Kakashi's face behind the bandages and the covers. In addition, unless the sprinkler system had a slow leak, Kakashi couldn't help hearing the manly tears forming a puddle at Gai's feet.
"But of course," Gai said calmly, "I shall return by the light of the breaking day. Farewell my Worthy Rival!"
I'm either really good or he's really slipping; I can't believe that worked!
-000-
The last time Iruka visited the archives was two months ago, so its layout was still fresh in his mind. The first floor housed random, and extremely boring statistical data like population growth tables, manufacturing, and export data. No doubt, I'll find the majority of generic information about the Hatake there. The second floor was the storehouse of general information about civilian clans and their contributions to the village. Both the third and fourth floor archives contained data about shinobi families; it too was generic in nature, but sufficient to give new insights to his students. The fifth floor was off-limits to everyone except the Hokage or Council members; heavily armed guards patrolled the area twenty-four hours a day.
Convinced he'd find everything he needed on the lower floors, Iruka shoved his reorganized notes into a folder. "I'm not going to get anything done if I keep sitting here talking to inanimate objects" he announced to his notebook.
The first stop in his mad dash to the village center was the bedroom to wrestle his seditious dirty clothes into a bag. After a quick shower and shave, he decided wearing his duty uniform would probably get him waited on quicker at the archives, and well, it was the only thing he had that was clean.
Tucking a new notebook and a few pens into his satchel, he headed out for to the laundromat. In a shinobi village, civilians took great pride in adapting their schedules to accommodate those who were leaving on or returning from missions. They counted their small sacrifices of time and energy the least they could do for the people who kept them safe. The tinkling brass bell above the door suspended all conversation in the shop when Iruka ambled in.
"What a pleasant surprise Iruka-kun! I haven't seen you in ages," teased the congenial woman behind the counter.
Greetings, Rei-san, yes it has been a while."
"Are you about to leave on a mission Iruka-kun? Heavens, it's been years since you did that. Why, I distinctly remember the last time you…"
Iruka bit his lip in an effort to remain polite as she maundered on. Now I remember why I stopped coming here in the first place. I could never get a word in edgewise with that woman.
"Isamu" she called out, "Come quickly and see what the cat just dragged in; its Roka and Moanna's little boy, Iruka-kun."
Oh good grief, this is going to take forever! Why does every elderly woman in the village feel obligated to pinch my cheeks before they try to fix me up with their nieces, or granddaughters?
-000-
Regal messenger hawks would remain locked in their cages, denied the privilege of announcing this historic news to the nations. Neither would a jubilant throng congregate before the Hokage tower to bask in his victory today. Even without these things, Naruto's celebratory dance would be enough, for this was the best day of his young life. He'd somehow managed to land several unanswered hits on an obviously distracted Sasuke, who now lay in the dust of defeat. Making this even sweeter, Sakura seemed genuinely impressed, or maybe she was just daydreaming; she smiled in Naruto's general direction and that was good enough for him.
Sasuke… poor little fella, was sprawled spread-eagled on a rather uncomfortable looking patch of dirt, his cheeks the color of cayenne peppers, and temper nearly as hot. "Shut up loser!" You just got lucky, it means nothing!"
If it were possible, Naruto's dance of victory dance intensified. "Face it teme, I'm just good," he yelled. "Deal with it!"
Sasuke rolled to his side, struggling to conceal a wince of pain; I can't believe I let myself get run over by a bunch of shadow clones! "This is all, Sakura's fault," he said to the pile of pebbles near his elbow. "Stupid girls waving around stupid bunches of flowers, she diverted my attention. Thank goodness, Kakashi wasn't here to witness this; he'd probably make some wisecrack, or worse, he'd say something encouraging.
The rhythmically challenged Naruto was still cavorting about and consequently missed his rival's deliberate ascent. Thank Kami for small favors, Sasuke thought; I don't want to deal with Naruto laughing me to scorn right now, or Sakura fawning over me.
Mercifully, Sakura was lost in her own little world. She asked the poises she held in a death grip, "Which one of you would Kakashi-sensei like better?"
Irritated beyond words, Sasuke fired off one of the most incensed looks he could muster, but Sakura didn't seem to care. How dare she ignore the Uchiha Glare of Smoldering Rage! "What are you yammering about over there Sakura?"
She didn't go to the trouble of looking his way, choosing instead to tell the flowers, "We're going to visit Kakashi-sensei at the hospital, and I thought it would be nice if we brought along something to cheer him up."
The ringing in his ears was getting louder, and Sasuke couldn't understand why the ground kept swelling up like an ocean at high tide. "Yeah, well I don't know what you and the dobe are doing," he sneered, "But count me out! The only place I'm going is home!" He would have stormed off in a huff, but decided against it; the very thought of moving too fast was making him queasy.
Naruto stopped dancing long enough to wander over, "You know I'd be happy to go with you Sakura, but I can't. I promised to meet Iruka-sensei for ramen, and you know how much he looks forward to that." He turned to catch up with Sasuke to taunt him a bit more, "See you later Sakura!"
Sakura remained kneeling serenely by the clump of wildflowers, as the boys bickered nearby. Suddenly her fist shattered the parched ground. The explosive sound and crumbling earth made the retreating boys scramble to avoid the rapidly spreading crater beneath their feet.
"We are a team," she growled, "and we are going to visit our team leader – got it?"
"What's with her?" Naruto whispered, "She been sitting in the sun too long?" He shrugged his shoulders; girls are weird.
Sasuke jumped over a smaller fissure and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. First, our sensei ends up in the hospital, and now one of my teammates has gone absolutely bonkers. What have I ever done to deserve this?
Sakura's eyes seemed to sway in harmony with the undulating flowers; she sounded further detached from reality when she spoke, "I let you morons drag me outta my house on a Sunday morning to watch you pummel each other when I could have been doing something constructive. I say it's time we did something I want to do. Now come on, we're going to the hospital, and don't give me any lip!"
The angry rictus disappeared from her face as quickly as it appeared; her voice had fluidly returned to normal when she asked, "Now, which color flowers do you think Kakashi-sensei will like best; the blue ones, the white ones, or the yellow ones?"
Taken aback, neither boy responded, both of them afraid their next words might be their last words.
Maybe it was the influence of the slight concussion he had, but Sakura's display of brute force duly impressed Sasuke. Going to visit Kakashi was sounding better with each passing second; at least I'll be somewhere I can get prompt medical attention if needed.
Naruto on the other hand was scared witless; Are all girls this schizophrenic or is it just her? "We like whichever flowers you like Sakura," he gulped.
-000-
Having escaped the laundry without a blind date or bruised cheeks, Iruka heaved a sigh of relief. The Archive building was straight ahead, and the information he sought was ripe for plundering. One of the staff, an elderly civilian woman, greeted him cordially when he dashed in. Iruka recognized this little lady as one of the most loquacious people in the village, second only to Gai. All I want is a few uninterrupted hours to do some research, is that asking too much?
"And how are you today Iruka-kun?" she asked sweetly.
"I'm well thank you Misao-san," he jauntily replied. Please, please, please, don't ask me about….
"How is my grandson doing in school?" she chirped. "You know, he's such a good boy, smart as a whip, and he's always talking about his Iruka-sensei," she smiled toothlessly.
Iruka didn't have the heart to tell her the boy was the biggest klutz he'd seen in years, and a Grade-A dunderhead to boot, even his individual tutoring wasn't helping. Of course, he smiled graciously, shifting from foot-to-foot while she searched for the passkey he needed.
"Little Shoda-kun is—umm-a very hard-worker." Iruka's sore cheeks were beginning to spasm as he tried to smile normally.
"Well, I won't keep you any longer Iruka-kun; I can see you're here on official business. Now what did I do with that darn passkey?"
Jumping over the counter to help her look for it might be overkill, but it was starting to sound like a good idea.
"Oh silly me," she chuckled after a fruitless ten minute search, "I put the darn thing right here in my pocket so I wouldn't have to look for it."
"No trouble at all," he politely quibbled, "it's always a pleasure speaking with you Misao-san." With the key clutched tightly in his sweaty palm, Iruka bounded up the stairs to the second floor archives.
-000-
Kakashi, restless now, tossed and turned as much as his bum leg allowed. Despite the earlier massage and the warm food, he still couldn't relax. Thanks a lot Gai. Images from that last mission fluttered through the landscape of his unengaged mind; three very capable opponents rushed me, they were too quick, something slashed through my flak vest. Abdomen was on fire, had to keep fighting, but too weak, one important sense shut down; I can't see!
He bolted upright, what if this condition is permanent, what the hell am I supposed to do then?
"Boss?" he heard Pakkun say, "What's the matter with you; are you having a nightmare?"
Folding his arms across his chest, Kakashi sneered, "I don't wanna talk about it Pakkun. And what the hell are you still doing here?"
After a jaw popping yawn, the little pug groaned, "Taji-san's holding me here with her chakra. She made me stay behind to keep you company and to keep an eye on you because we're both supposed to be recovering. You know what a waste of time it is arguing with her, so here I am."
Her tenacity must come from her grandmother's side of the family. "Well, just be quiet will ya, I'd like to get some sleep."
"Why'd they seal your chakra Boss?"
This damn nosy mutt, what part of 'be quiet' didn't he understand? Kakashi was actively fidgeting, and clearly not in the mood for psychoanalysis by his summon. "Tsunade wants me to rest so my chakra can restore itself naturally-you know the drill."
"You're not going to get any rest as angry as you are now." Pakkun was shifting around to get comfortable. "Sure you don't wanna talk about it?"
It was times like this that he truly hated how well Taji knew him. She was no bush-league manipulator, yet this attempt was so transparent, it was almost preposterous. She was giving him permission, such as it was, to work out the vitriol eating away at his thoughts.
Patently losing the battle with mounting frustration, Kakashi's tone took on a cutting edge, "There's nothing to talk about Pakkun, I just wanna get the hell outta here and go home."
"Look Boss, I know you can't see, but it's a temporary thing." Having found that one comfortable area in the mattress, Pakkun irascibly added, "Try to think of this situation as an opportunity to practice your other skills, like stretching out your senses, or something."
Gritting his teeth, Kakashi retorted angrily, "You're not helping as much as you think. It takes too much chakra to do that, which I don't have access to at present…"
"So are you mad that your chakra is sealed or because ...?"
The rage boiling in his chest spontaneously overflowed and out gushed the dismay of his body's betrayal, the niggling concerns about his further usefulness to the village, and his failure to live up to the standards he'd set for himself. "How would you feel if you couldn't see Pakkun, tell me that why don't you!" He'd sliced to the heart of the matter faster than a sharp katana through a rice paper screen. It felt good, but did nothing to change his circumstances.
Pakkun, neither put off, nor overawed by Kakashi's ire, calmly replied, "I'd be pissed, but I'd learn to hone my other senses to compensate. Your brain still works, your leg will heal, and your vision will return Kakashi. Hearing, smell, touch, taste, you still got those too."
"Yeah, well ...whatever," came the flippant remark.
"You didn't return to the village in a body bag, so stop your whining you ungrateful brat!" Pakkun was standing now, his paws lightly resting on Kakashi's chest, his beef-flavored breath coming in waves, "You never shied away from hard training to improve your skills before, so don't start now! Get your addled brain in gear and start making plans to overcome this setback instead of complaining about it! "
Damn! I hate his little pep talks!
NOTES:
Rei means "Polite, or well behaved."
Isamu means, "Vigorous, robust, energetic."
Hatsumi means, "Firstborn beauty."
If the real names of Iruka's mother and father names were mentioned in canon, I missed it. In the meantime, I decided to name them Roka and Moanna. Roka (Iruka's dad) means "White crest of the wave." Moanna (Iruka's mom) name means "Ocean."
Misao means "Fidelity, loyalty.
Shoda means, "Flat, level field."