What in the dickens? : Dumbledore's Last Service to Snape
Chapter 10: Good Deeds Do Not Go Unpunished
Dumbledore once again addressed the three viewers of the pensieve memories. The clear blue eyes behind the spectacles looked serious.
"I had met with Professor Snape the previous evening and we viewed several memories in his past culminating to one that I believe sealed the end of his youth and innocence at the age of 19. We have just viewed a series of memories that showed some of Professor Snape's experiences at Hogwarts as a teacher. However, there are better ones," said Dumbledore stoically.
Snape smirked and Dumbledore continued on. "On a more pleasant note, we will now view a montage of the more positive experiences I believe you have had, Severus, whether you were aware of them or not. Sybil, Hagrid, I am sure that you have heard of most of them. Some were more publicized than others, because nothing in a secret for long in the very open hallways of this school. Some are equally as good if not better."
Snape noted that this evening was a bit more fast-paced, with more memories in snippets. They went from one to another, stayed for a short time in each to view significant acts or events, and then moved on to the next.
…Snape on his knees offering Dumbledore anything at all in desperation to keep Lily Potter safe…Snape hunched over a high-backed chair, his face in his hands agreeing to protect Harry Potter for Lily…Snape re-entering the Dark Lord's service to spy for the Order…
Snape's face was white and he was twitching, but he composed himself and said nothing, though it was very difficult for him to do. He couldn't fathom how he had survived what he had done to her…it was only his work for Dumbledore that gave him something…somehow the ability to press on…if she hadn't had her son…his outlet to try to redeem his terrible mistake…well, who really knew what would have happened.
…refereeing a quidditch game fairly…saving Harry Potter from a hexed broomstick…confronting Professor Quirrell about the stone…sitting in the Slytherin common room and talking with some of the students, imparting some advice…a moment of giving Malfoy advice about behavior…complimenting a student on a well-brewed potion…
"Well, er, it doesn't sound much like a complimen' at first," said Hagrid, "but I know tha's just yer' way of speakin' Professor Snape."
…passing Miss Granger's cauldron which contained a perfectly executed draft and saying nothing negative…eyes downcast as Longbottom listened in to a tip from Granger and moving along to the next student…seeking out Harry Potter and his friends in the Shreiking Shack…looking for Sirius Black at Hogwarts in a corridor alone after midnight…teaching Harry occlumency and complimenting his protego charm…giving a report in the dining room of 12 Grimmauld Place at an Order meeting that contained information that was important to the Order but could compromise his position with the Dark Lord…confunding known Death Eaters at a pub in Knockturn Alley to gain information…making the Unbreakable Vow in the living room of his house with Narcissa Malfoy to save Draco's life…kneeling at the feet of a seated Dumbledore, wand in hand, muttering a countercurse to try to save his life…
There were so many… thought Snape…had I really done this much good? Did Dumbledore and the others think so, even though most of the people involved never showed their appreciation or it had never occurred to them how much I sacrificed?
The four viewers once again entered the office and Dumbledore addressed Professor Snape.
"Although you are undoubtedly a very strong-minded and intelligent individual, sometimes life is very unfair and more difficult for people with such redeeming qualities. Hence, why you were hired in the first place…and why you have my implicit trust, Severus." Dumbledore gazed at Snape with awe, respect, and reverence. "If I may, I would like to say I have never considered you to be just an employee at Hogwarts, or that somehow you were doing my bidding. Though I perhaps have never made it clear, there are a few thoughts that have crossed my mind over the years."
"Allow me to enlighten regarding some of those thoughts…Potions students were lucky to be instructed by a competent and overly qualified master. Slytherin House is currently in possession of a one of the greatest Heads it has ever had. You are quite often a very fair quidditch referee but I know your duties do not allow for you to exhibit that often. You are irreplaceable for your bravery and efforts in both Orders of the Phoenix. And Lily Evans was loved and valued by a true friend and I regret that she possibly never realized how much, but I believe that one day she will through your protection of her son. And I also consider you my friend, Severus," Dumbledore offered softly, yet with emotion unmistakable is his voice.
Snape was eerily quiet. He did not know what to say. He believed he was trembling though his face was more composed and hoped that nobody noticed. It was with secret pleasure and a bit of warmth that he was thankful to Dumbledore for this evening. He just wished that certain more unpleasant painful memories did not have to be a part of it. There were some that no matter how hard he tried he would never get over.
"After experiencing severe disappointments in life and from other people, even the most promising individuals can go to extremes. It is often times difficult for the brilliant, the introspective to make sense of things when they know that they should be another way. However, I believe things have reached a turning point, Severus. It is not too late for you, if you wish to change your outlook on your own." The Headmaster's tone was now more firm and assertive, yet the tone made it clear that now the rest was up to Severus.
"And now we will enter the pensieve for the second to last time this evening," said Dumbledore politely and a bit wistfully.