"You told him what?" Jean said quietly, a look on her face that made James' heart beat faster, and not in a good way.
"Look, baby, last night... at that stage things were just horrible. The look on your face was breaking my heart. He was ready to go back inside and humiliate you in front of everyone. I just needed him to go home, to cool off. I needed it to just be you and me so that I could make sure you were alright."
Jean pulled her hand away from his and stood up, pacing the room and biting on her lip, he could tell she was trying not to cry.
"It's just a few hours Jean, a few hours and this will all be over. Tomorrow, you will go to work, I will meet you for lunch and we can start making plans for the rest of our life."
She stopped and looked at him before replying, the frustration in her voice obvious. "You make it sound so simple James. This isn't a soap opera you know; it isn't just one thing one day and a different thing the next. This is complicated... too complicated."
He looked wounded and lowered his head, staring at the floor. "I love you."
"Oh James, please. You know I'm not questioning that, or saying that I don't love you. It isn't even about me spending the evening with Richard. Sometimes I just worry that you're... so young... and that this is all going to get too much for you. I can't help thinking that one day the reality of this situation is going to hit you and that everything is going to come crashing down around me."
"That isn't fair," James replied, his voice getting louder and the hurt in it becoming more obvious. "I can't help how old I am but I won't let you say that I don't understand the reality of things. I would never let you throw your marriage away if I thought that this was an adolescent whim. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, being the person who makes you happy, I thought you accepted that and felt that way too. I have given up my career so that we can have a future. I haven't done that without understanding the reality."
Jean sat down on the chair on the other side of the room and put her head in her hands. "I just don't know what to think or what to do," she murmured. "Why would you agree to me spending a whole evening with Richard, with him trying to win me back, the promise that I would stay in the house overnight, surely that is the last thing you want to think of me doing."
James looked across at her. "You need to talk to him; there are loose ends to be tied up. I just hope that if you really love me... well then it should take more than an attempt at a romantic meal and some persuasive words on his behalf to spoil that." As she looked back at him, she could see the doubt hiding behind his eyes and she smiled weakly. "Look, he was happy with one evening of your time, one more night of you sleeping under the same roof, in return for not humiliating you last night. He seems confident that when he gets you alone he can convince you to try again, and I think you just need to hear what he has to say before turning your back on 25 years of marriage. I need you to do what is right for you. I love you so much, that even if it meant letting you go I would do anything for you to be happy. I just hope it won't come to that, I hope that tomorrow I can pick you up for lunch and begin to show you just how wonderful I can make life for you."
"And what if I just don't go?"
"I want you to go. I gave him my word so I really hope you'll do this for me."
Jean sighed and nodded slowly.
James smiled back at her. His life had changed so much in the last few months, he had never thought it was possible to feel such extreme emotions all within such a small space of time. He knew he had never felt happier, but also he had never felt more hurt, scared, sad and nervous, all at different times, for different reasons, all because of this wonderful woman in front of him who he knew he would happily die for. She couldn't be more wrong about him not understanding the reality of what they were doing. He understood how much was at stake and he knew that whatever happened he would never ever stop loving her. All that he could do now was hope that the bargain he had made with Richard Innocent wouldn't make his own life come crashing down around him.
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