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Long chapter for youuu!


Saturday, October 17th 9:33 p.m.

The weeks went by and before I knew it, I was so integrated into the Marauders' group. Of course, they have their own shenanigans I would never be apart of because it is their own exclusive activity. But I do find that I spend most of my time with them. I would've never thought this would happen. I wake up every morning asking myself why but I can never find an answer. It just sort of.. happened. I suppose the stars must've aligned and the gods decided to shine a light upon me or something. But I do enjoy my time with them. It's also allowed me to further investigate the dynamics of their group and individually.

James is… a jerk. But he has a good heart. He means well; he really does. But his ego gets the better of him most of the time and it ends up making him look like a total tosspot, rightfully so, of course. But he's really a fun guy who has a wall up. As he endlessly chases Lily Evans and with each passing rejection, I can sense his wall become higher and wider. Albeit her constant rejection is sad, he also needs to realize that simple douchebaggery won't win her heart like all of the easy bimbos he drowns his sorrows in.

Sirius is a total prat. But one you can't help but love. Kind of like that cat that pees on your couch all the time but you simply can't just get rid of it because its so sweet and cute and cuddly. He's also fiercely protective, it reminds me of Ressie. It is slightly surprising, but when it comes to Sirius Black, there is certainly more than what meets the eye. He hasn't opened up to me, but he doesn't have to. I know that his story is a sad one. It's a weird connection we seem to have with each other. We both know that our pasts have sucked, but we don't need to talk about it. We just find solace in in each other's presence. He's really like an older brother to me.

Peter is shrewish, but he's also quite resourceful and witty. He's usually quiet but when he's with his mates, he's quite likable. I suppose he only gets awkward when I'm around, which is understandable. As well, I also feel a little bad for my rash judgment of him. He's also quite sweet and has the charm of a Hufflepuff. He is very intellectual, but I think he doesn't show it because James would most likely bugger him about it. He's very loyal to his friends but I also sense a vulnerability in him… a wavering strength.

And Remus, well…. we know about Remus.

They've also helped me open up significantly. They're a great group of friends and I'm quite grateful they've taken me in. They're like an unconventional family. They take care of each other and never let anyone break that paradigm. Of course, I was not a true Marauder; that was their dynamic. I was just sort of an extra. But they've never left me out and I know they'll be there the next time a bloody Slytherin prat decides to hassle me.

We were sitting in the common room. James and Remus were focused on a riveting game of Wizards' Chess, Peter was reading the Daily Prophet, and Sirius and I were immersed in a game of Exploding Snap on the couch. I was winning, of course.

Sirius was getting frustrated as I kept picking the cards faster than him. I chuckled at his agitation. Suddenly, in an attempt to defeat me, Sirius picked a card. But it was the wrong card, and it exploded. The explosion sent a large puff of hot soot into my face.

"Vaffanculo! Pezzo di merda," I shouted disdainfully, rubbing the soot out of my eyes. As I opened them painfully, I saw the look on the boys' faces. They looked quite confused.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"What in the bloody hell did you just say?" Sirius asked with a thoroughly confused expression on his face. I giggled.

"Errr… I'd rather not say," I said, realizing the meaning behind those words.

"What language was that?" Sirius asked, putting his hands behind his head.

"Italian. My mother is Calabrese and that's where I get my… expletives from," I shortly explained, not wanting to discuss my mother. Sirius nodded.

"Well, gang. I am officially bored out of my wits—" Sirius started.

"Or lack thereof," I mumbled. Sirius heard and threw a pillow at me.

"I say, we sneak off to Hogsmead and raid Honeydukes till we puke our brains out. No- let's go to dear old Rosie's pub and get sloshed!" He finished his thought. James chuckled.

"I'm down. I was beating Moony's arse anyways," He said, throwing a king at Remus. It fought back immediately, and threw it's sword at James' face. I giggled.

"But it's already 9:30!" I said. Sirius looked at me.

"So?" I stuttered.

"I-I don't know it j-just looks….cold outside," I came up with a lame excuse. In all honesty, I was a little uncomfortable with breaking school rules.

"Then go get your bloody coat!" He said tackling me on the couch. He poked me in the sides and I snorted uncontrollably.

"Sirius nooooo!" I said, thrashing beneath him. He wouldn't relinquish so I used all my strength to throw him off of me and onto the ground. I lept off of the couch and ran upstairs to fetch my coat and sneakers. I opened the door to find Ressie and Lily sitting on Lily's bed talking and reading Witch Weekly. They stopped when I came in.

"Hey you. What're you up to?" Ressie asked, sitting up from Lily's bed. Lily didn't look at me. I'm assuming she still thinks I shagged James. I just ignored her petty attitude.

"I'm going with James and Sirius and Remus and Peter to Hogsmead," I said silently, putting on my Converse and lacing them quickly. Ressie chortled.

"Don't bullshite me, Fawcett!" I looked at her and shrugged. I finished lacing my sneakers and got up, slipping on my coat. Ressie stopped giggling.

"You can't be serious?" She asked.

"I am!" I said, grabbing my wand and slipping it in my coat. "I'll see you later!" I said, escaping as quickly as I could. I bounded down the steps, more excited than I thought I'd be, and was greeted by a group of young men who were ready to go.

We all exited the common room swiftly and quietly. We had to move fast and light to avoid attention from the sleeping portraits or Peeves. The guys were headed somewhere unbeknownst to me and I just followed without question. I learned quickly that's how I should respond when unsure about what/where I was doing/going with the Marauders. It was an unspoken agreement of sorts; I stayed quiet and was never disappointed.

We eventually came up to the stairs leading to Divination and I was slightly confused. I followed them as we approached the statue of Gunhilda of Gorsmoor (or also widely known as the One-Eyed Witch statue). James whispered 'Dissendium' and to my surprise, the hump on the witches' back opened up slowly, creating a small slide into an unknown passage. I was astounded.

"How did you guys find this?" I asked in a low whisper.

"That, my dear Knickers, I will take to the grave," James said as he climbed into the statue's hump and disappeared. I shook my head; cheeky blighter.

After James, Sirius followed suit and so did Peter. Remus looked at me.

"Need assistance?" He asked. I shrugged and shook my head.

"I think I can handle it," I said. He raised and eyebrow and I walked over to the statue. I grabbed the arm and hoisted myself up on the base of the statue, taking a deep breath. I tried to climb up the back but it was proven too difficult and my grip on the statue loosened, causing me to fall on my arse. I heard stifled giggles from Sirius and James and I felt my face go hot. Prats.

"Sure you don't need help?" Remus said, offering his hand. I took it grudgingly and got up. I placed my hand where it was before and suddenly, Remus gave me a boost up the statue by my arse. I yelped in shock as he hoisted me up and into the hole. Luckily, I fell on top of Sirius, who broke my fall. He fell to the ground with a loud thud as James and Peter chuckled to themselves.

"Oh, Audrey," He said, groaning. I just laughed.

"Sorry Sirius!" I said in between giggles as I helped him up. He placed his hands on his back and cracked it in several places, causing me to flinch. Remus came in with ease and pulled out his wand. James and Sirius followed suit and they all cast Lumos in unison, lighting up the dark passageway. It was long and damp, and smelled of mold. I shuddered as Remus rubbed my back and we started off.

"Mind you, this'll take probably an hour," James said. I groaned. They were well aware of my stubborn impatience.

"Oh shite," I said, huffing. Remus smiled and I didn't say much else. James told me that the passage is monitored by Peeves and if too much noise was made, he would surely come and send our asses to McGonagall. I didn't want to take the risk so I stayed quiet like they did.

After a while, I got extremely bored and tried various ways to occupy myself. I practiced casting charms in my head, I hummed to myself, I even started reciting books I'd memorized to keep myself busy. None of it worked. It was awful. James told me to quit fussing.

We walked for what seemed like an eternity until we came to, literally, the light at the end of the tunnel. I chuckled to myself at the irony. Above us, was a medium sized grate that emitted a light from above.

"Audrey — get on my shoulders and see if anyone's up there, alright?" James whispered. I sighed and agreed. James bent down low and I straddled the back of his neck. It was a little awkward having my lady parts so close to his face, but I tried not to think about it. James slowly ascended and I used my arms to hold onto him as he got up. With a few grunts, I was able to reach the top of the grate.

"Damn, Audrey — you gotta hit the gym!" James said chuckling.

"Oh, bugger off," I said simply, not in the mood for his snide comments. I slowly lifted the heavy metal grate and peeked around. I was just tall enough on James' shoulders so that my head can poke out almost entirely. I looked around and observed my surroundings. I noticed we were in a cellar of sorts, with boxes and crates filled with candy packaging. I got excited. Upon seeing nobody around, I lifted the grate completely and hoisted myself up. James pushed my bum quite hard, giving it a squeeze. What is it with these pricks and my arse?

I landed on the floor and turned around to help hoist the next person up. I grabbed James' hand and lifted him up as Sirius pushed him. I pulled him all the way up and as he reached the top, he grabbed Sirius' hand and so on until every person was in the cellar (relatively) unscathed.

As I was finally able to fully take in my surroundings, I let the warm air of chocolate and sugar invade my nostrils. I let my eyes wander to a vat of chocolate and I walked over to it as the boys were dusting themselves off. I watched as it swirled slowly on its own. Different hues of brown were mixing together and I felt my mouth water.

"Audrey!" I heard Remus yell in a whisper. I whipped my head around and saw that the guys were heading out the back door, and Remus was waiting for me. I quickly ran to him and out the door.

I was hit with a gust of cold wind and I felt my nose chill. We all walked down the road.

"I say we go to the Three Broomsticks and get utterly wasted, yeah?" Sirius said. Everyone sort of mumbled in agreement. Not me, though. I don't drink.

We walked briskly to the inn and upon entering we were greeted by a warm atmosphere and a loud bustling bar. It was filled with men and women laughing and seeming to have a great time. The guys all wandered to a booth in the back and I followed suit. As we all piled in, I huddled in between Sirius and Remus for warmth; I was still quite cold. Pretty soon after we settled in, Madame Rosmerta came up and sighed. She was holding and empty tray and an old rag on her shoulder.

"Not you bloody prats again," she said rolling her eyes. James chuckled and Peter scratched his head.

"Oh yes, Rosie. We'll have the usual," Sirius winked at her, and she sighed.

"And you miss?" She asked, turning to me.

"I'll have a gillywa—"

"She'll have a red currant rum," Sirius finished my sentence, cutting me off. I looked at him and nudged him in the side. Rosmerta grabbed her rag and nodded, walking off.

"Sirius! I don't drink!" I said, quite annoyed. He shrugged.

"Come one sweets, one little drink won't kill you!" He said, leaning into his seat and sighing.

"Prat," I said under my breath. Sirius kissed the top of my head.

"You'll get used to it. So my dear, what exactly did you say earlier in the common room?" he asked. I laughed nervously and shook my head.

"Come on, tell us! It sounded extremely vulgar," James said, leaning in. I felt Remus grab my hand from under that table and I squeezed it.

I was saved when Rosmerta came and brought our… beverages. She placed four shots of what appeared to be Firewhiskey, and five Butterbeers on the table. She then placed the red currant rum in front of me. It was in a clear glass. The liquid was redish-orange and had little red currants on the bottom. She pushed the glass towards me and walked off. I looked in the glass and sighed.

The boys all took their shots and gulped it down all at once. They all gave a distorted expression on their face as they winced from the shot. They all looked funny and I giggled. Remus sighed and sipped his butterbeer.

"Come on, Audrey! Bottoms up!" Sirius said. I cringed.

"Do I have to?" I asked, grabbing the cup. Sirius nodded vehemently. Remus rolled his eyes and James just chuckled slightly, and started to enjoy his butterbeer.

I brought the cup to my lips hesitantly, and took a sip. It had an odd flavor. It was tart and sweet but had a bitter aftertaste. It also warmed my throat going down. I'm assuming it was the rum. It was oddly refreshing, and I took another sip. Sirius barked.

"Knew you'd like it!" He said proudly. I just ignored him and took yet another sip, damning myself internally with each passing moment of pleasure that glided along my tastebuds.

Remus

An hour and about 10 more shots later, we were still in the Three Broomsticks and Audrey was on her fourth red currant rum. I could see the effect the alcohol had on her. She was sitting next to me, leaning her back into me and giggling every few minutes.

"Ok, say… stinky butt fucker!" James said, in a stupid laugh. Sirius started to chortle at his expletives.

"Hehehe… Puzzolente culo stronzo," Audrey said with a stupid smile on her face, giggling slightly. I shook my head and put my arm around her. She took it and hugged it.

"Ok.. now say… Peter has a micropenis!" Sirius said, making James burst out in laughter. Peter looked around at him and glared. He was quite knackered so he didn't really react much. Peter is strange when he gets drunk. He'll just sit there solemnly and burps ever so often. It's a little odd.

"Peter ha un micropene…" Audrey said absentmindedly. James and Sirius were laughing and barking to each other and Audrey turned to me.

"Remus…" She said, closing her eyes.

"Yeah?" I asked. She opened her eyes wide and looked up at the ceiling.

"Am I melting…?" She asked. I just laughed and shook my head.

"No, darling. You aren't melting," I said. She sighed.

"Oh thank Merlin," She said with an large exhale of breath. I shook my head. "Remus, my dear, your voice is so enthralling. Might I be graced with another moment of hearing your gracious baritone!" She said, making absolutely no sense. I just laughed it off.

I checked the time. It was approximately 10:45 and I figured we should probably start heading back. Sirius was poking Audrey in the breast, who was beating him in return. They giggled and snorted as they fought. I looked at James who was trying to give Peter a wet-willy. I threw a straw at his face and he looked at me.

"I think we should get her back to the common room," I said, as Audrey started to play with my hair, twirling it and twisting it. It was quite amusing to see how amused she was. James made a big nod and Sirius rebuffed the idea.

"Moony, nooooo! We were just getting started!" He said, taking a large swig of whatever was left of his butterbeer. Peter stood up suddenly and gave us a somber expression.

"I have to take the biggest piss…" He said, wandering off to the loo. Audrey giggled and chortled to herself. I threw a couple of sickles on the table and started to get up. Audrey was still leaning on me and didn't take notice to my sudden movements. She fell backwards on the booth and looked at me sadly.

"Why'd you leave me, Remus?" She said, sniffling. I shook my head and helped her up and out of the booth. She stumbled on her feet a bit until she caught her ground. I helped her put her coat back on and she hiccuped.

"Remus.. can we HIC go get some HIC pizza?" She asked randomly. James dragged Sirius out of the booth, both of them completely smashed.

"No, dear, we can't get pizza," I said. She huffed and mumbled something under her breath. We stood there waiting for Peter and after what seemed like forever he emerged from the loo, with toilet paper stuck to his shoe. Audrey giggled, her hiccups starting to fade.

"Oi, Peter, did you step in your own poo, HIC?" She said laughing, swaying back and forth. Peter didn't take notice to her and started to walk/stumble out the door. We all followed suit. I was holding one of Audrey's arms and James and Sirius were holding each others shoulders singing show tunes.

We walked out of the Three Broomsticks and into the cold night. The wind blew by and gave me a shudder as the cold air whipped against my face.

Suddenly, Audrey took off in a wobbly run and I followed her with my eyes. She leapt into a large pile of brown leaves and made a "splash", causing leaves to fly around.

"Yeeaaaaaah, dog pile on Knickers!" Sirius yelled, and started to hobble over to the pile, but he couldn't make it and fell flat on his face on the ground. It didn't stop him though, and he got right up and dove onto Audrey.

"Oof, Sirius! You weigh as much as a pregnant Hippogriff!" She yelled. Suddenly, James jumped on top of Sirius, causing Audrey much distress.

Peter just sort of wandered off. Strange one, that lad.

I grabbed James by his jacket and hoisted him off of Sirius and Sirius off of Audrey, who may I mention, looked absolutely squashed underneath the burly males. She gave me a glance and smiled. I smiled back and grabbed her arm, hoisting her up.

After a lot of shenanigans, a few silencing charms, and a lot of persuasion, I was able to get my lot of drunkards back to Honeydukes, down the passageway, and back to Hogwarts in (relatively) one piece. After much trouble getting them back to the common room, all the dudes stumbled off into the dorm (presumably just to get even more drunk), I was left with a sloshed Audrey in the Common Room. Luckily enough, she was starting to come to her senses…

She fell onto the couch and curled up into it. I sat next her her and rubbed her back.

"You alright there?" I asked. She groaned and wiggled herself into me, closing her eyes. She rested an arm on my chest and lightly grabbed at my shirt. I shook her lightly.

"Come on babes, you don't wanna fall asleep down here," I said. She didn't even move. I shook her arm and she stirred slightly, but not enough. I sighed and adjusted myself and I picked her up bridal style. I slowly made my way up the stairs to the girls' dorm, hoping no one would freak out that I came up there.

I reached her dorm and opened the door slowly. I peeked inside and it seemed as if everyone was asleep. I walked over to the only empty bed and lightly set her down on it. She squirmed slightly. I took off her shoes and helped her wiggle out of her coat. I draped her blanket over her and she clutched it to her chest.

I was about to turn away when I saw a picture on her nightstand. I picked it up. It wasn't in a frame, and it was worn and slightly tattered. It was of a little girl and a man in his late 20's. She was sitting on his shoulders and had a wide, slightly toothless smile on her small face. I smiled, figuring it was Audrey; the freckles were a dead giveaway. I carefully placed it back to its proper place.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed mine and I saw Audrey holding my hand.

"Don't go…" She said, holding onto my hand. I could feel her shudder slightly. I froze. I didn't want to leave her. But I knew it was so wrong in every way to stay. But she also looked so helpless. But I can't just stay with her! Why was I even thinking about it?

I tried to release my and from hers but she squeezed and opened her eyes. She looked so… sad, empty. It was a weird feeling. I decided it was a weakness.

I sat next to her on her bed, hoping that would suffice. She only pulled me in further. Next thing I knew I was laying next to her. She had an arm draped comfortably on my chest.

"Thank you…" She mumbled. I looked at her. I was awestruck at the female laying next to me.

She was so simple. Her beauty wasn't magnificent, or gorgeous. It wasn't anything special, really. But she was just beautiful. I couldn't exactly explain it. It was a kind of unconventional beauty that seemed to captivate me whenever she was around.

"A-are you sure you want me to stay?" I asked shakily. She nodded and sighed. Luckily, three of the four curtains on her four-poster were shut, so I just closed the last one on my right. I laid my head back on her pillow as I felt her warmth engulf me. I could feel her slow breath against me. Her pillow smelled an awful lot like her; lavender and gardenia and honey. Her scent often set my senses in a whirlwind of intrigue and longing.

I'd be lying if I said this girl didn't affect me. I can't exactly describe it. I've known plenty of girls, only a handful of them I've even considered dating. None of them had this on me. Audrey had a way of swaying me and my judgement. I am being absolutely selfish, I must say. I cannot let her get this close to me. I simply can't and I know I can't. But she has a hold over me. Even in such a short time of knowing her, it seems as if I've known her forever.

I want her. I want to call her mine and hold her and make her laugh that quirky snort-giggle of hers and talk with her about meaningless twaddle just to listen to her voice.

But I know I can't. I can't hold her. I shouldn't be the one listening to her and I certainly cannot call her mine. If she knew about me, there's no way she'd want this.

Whenever I'm around her, I'm able to forget everything for a moment. I'm able to just let go of this curse and embrace this wonderful girl. I'm able to turn away from the horror of my life and simply be. She can't know about my affliction. If she knew, then I couldn't have her…

I know its a folly. But I can't possibly say no to her.


Finally! A long chapter! You guys deserved one ;)

Lemme know what you think! I thought it was quite hilarious...

Oodles of hugs for all of you.

xo