Disclaimer-I do not own Harry Potter, I just like to…gay it up a little, Dumbledore being gay simply isn't enough, so bring on the gayness, Cheer For Queer!!!
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Chapter 10-The Closet
Outside by the lake with the cold wind biting into his skin, Harry listened to Ginny complain about the failure of her plan to get Ron and Hermione together at the Halloween party. Harry wouldn't have minded listening to her rant if it weren't for the fact that the way she spoke suggested that he was to blame.
"We're going to have to wait until Christmas now." Ginny grumbled glaring at Harry.
"Maybe we shouldn't interfere at all." Harry replied. "Give it time and I'm sure they'll come together naturally."
"Right sure, and Crabbe and Goyle will each win the Witch Weekly's most charming smile award." Ginny snapped sarcastically.
"Well what do we do then?" Harry asked exasperatedly.
"Like I said, we'll have to wait until Christmas." Ginny answered. "I'll talk to Dumbledore and persuade him to allow us to have a ball."
"Ginny if it didn't work last night why will it work at Christmas?" Harry asked reasonably.
"Obviously the mood wasn't right yesterday." Ginny told him. "Ron ruined the whole thing before we'd even got downstairs by laughing at her. It would have worked otherwise."
"Ok fine, you throw a Christmas party, but who's to say Ron won't ruin that?" Harry asked her.
"Well Hermione won't be in a Halloween costume next time." Ginny explained. "She'll be in a fabulous dress and the hall will look all romantic with the decorations and the falling snow and there'll be mistletoe."
"But Luna says mistletoe's full of nargles." Harry said.
"Luna says a lot of things." Ginny said. "That doesn't mean it's true."
"Right well, can we go back inside now, I'm freezing." Harry told her.
"Why didn't you just cast a warming charm like any other wizard would do?" Ginny retaliated as she rolled her eyes at the older boy's stupidity.
"Gin come on, I'm not that smart." Harry laughed as he led the way back to the castle.
"Yet you're able to thwart Voldemort time and time again." Ginny replied. "I swear Harry, if you had a brain you'd be dangerous."
"Oh shut up." Harry said as he nudged her playfully in the ribs.
The redhead then retaliated in the cruellest way possible by asking one simple question.
"So Harry, why were you staring at Draco last night as if you wanted to pin him down and fuck his brains out?" Ginny asked.
"Ginny!" Harry cried in shock at the profanity coming out of the youngest Weasley's mouth. He looked around quickly to check that nobody had heard.
"What?" Ginny asked innocently. "I was only asking. I thought maybe you'd like to talk about it, get your feelings out and everything."
"No thank you, I'd rather not." Harry replied blushing profoundly.
"Oh come on Harry, I want to know everything." Ginny begged bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.
"There's nothing to tell." Harry replied.
"I saw you follow him out the hall last night." Ginny said. "Don't lie to me Harry James Potter. I want to know what happened, every dirty detail."
"Nothing happened." Harry told her more forcefully. "It never does. I've been trying to get him to talk to me for ages but he never listens."
"But you fancy him don't you?" Ginny asked excitedly.
"No." Harry said far too quickly to be even remotely convincing. "I just want to know what's going on with him and help him out if I can, that's all. Besides I'm not even gay."
"Of course you're not love." Ginny replied patronisingly as she patted him on the arm.
"I'm not." Harry insisted placing his hands on his hips and glaring at her.
Ginny's only response was to raise an eyebrow in amusement. Harry quickly dropped his arms to his sides and struck up a decidedly manlier pose.
"I'm not gay." He repeated looking around once more to make sure nobody was there to eavesdrop.
"Whatever closet boy." Ginny laughed before heading back up to Gryffindor tower.
The two of them bickered all the way up to the common room, Harry insisting he was completely heterosexual and Ginny just rolling her eyes disbelievingly.
"I am not." Harry hissed as they climbed through the portrait hole.
"Are too." Ginny replied as she sat beside Hermione who was reading a book; Ron was at the other end of the room playing a game of chess with Dean.
"Are not." Harry snapped.
"Are." Ginny said calmly with a smile.
"What are you two quarrelling about?" Hermione asked as she set her book, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, aside.
"It seems our dear little Harry is under the impression he's straight." Ginny told Hermione with a giggle.
"I am straight." Harry insisted.
"Tell me Harry; is it comfortable in that closet of yours?" Ginny asked with a laugh.
"I am not in the closet, tell her Hermione." Harry said.
"Oh please Harry." Hermione replied. "You're so far in the closet you've discovered Narnia."
"I'M NOT GAY!" Harry yelled for the whole common room to hear.
"Yes you are." The majority of them replied before returning to what they were doing.
Confused and embarrassed Harry left the room and headed down to Lupin's office. He knocked on the door and heard some shuffling about before being invited in.
"Are you ok Remus?" Harry asked as he took in the dishevelled appearance of his Professor.
"Forgive me Harry." Remus replied hiccupping slightly. "I drank a little too much last night and I'm afraid I'm a bit hung over."
Looking around the office Harry saw a large number of empty liquor bottles.
"Can't you have a hangover potion or something?" Harry asked. "I'm sure Snape has some."
"I do not wish to bother Severus." Lupin replied. A strange flicker of emotion swept across the werewolf's face. Someone like Dumbledore, Draco or Hermione would have spotted easily, Harry however noticed nothing. "What is it I can help you with Harry?"
"Everybody thinks I'm gay." Harry blurted out.
"Oh, is that all?" Lupin replied as he made to sit in his chair but fell on his ass. With slight difficulty he gripped the desk and heaved himself back up. "There's nothing wrong with being gay Harry."
"I didn't say there was." Harry interjected. "It's just…well…I'm not gay…am I?"
"I don't know are you?" Lupin asked.
"Everyone else seems to think so." Harry answered.
"But what do you think?" Lupin asked.
"Well…I'm not I mean…I like girls." Harry told him.
"How lovely." Lupin replied though his tone suggested the mere idea of women disgusted him. "What girls?"
"Huh?" Harry asked dumbly.
"What girls do you fancy?" Lupin clarified.
"Oh…loads." Harry answered with a nod.
"Such as?" Lupin pressed.
"Um well…err…there's no-one in particular at the moment." Harry said uncomfortably. "But…I used to fancy Cho Chang and we kissed last school year."
"You kissed Miss Chang?" Lupin asked sounding repulsed. "And how was that experience for you?"
"Um…wet." Harry answered truthfully.
"How pleasant." Lupin replied sarcastically. "Do you know something Harry; I think I'm still a little bit drunk."
"Oh." Harry said unsure how to respond as his Professor stood to his feet and swayed slightly before moving round the desk to stand in front of him.
"My first kiss was back in fourth year." Lupin reminisced. "In the back corner of the library on the left hand side."
"Who was it?" Harry asked interestedly.
"Severus." Lupin sighed wistfully as he leaned his head on a stunned Harry's shoulder.
A few seconds later Lupin began to sob into the younger boy's arms and Harry patted him on the back awkwardly.
"Um…there, there." Harry said giving his best attempt at comfort.
"I'm sorry my little Harry who looks like James with Lily's eyes." Lupin babbled as he straightened up and used Harry's sleeve to dry his eyes. "I was upset. Now, about you being gay."
"Whoa steady on." Harry interrupted. "I didn't decide if I was gay or not yet."
"Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry." Lupin sighed as he slung an arm over his shoulders. "I've seen the way you look at Draco in my classes and the way you look at him in the Great Hall. You're always checking him out."
"What? No, I'm not checking him out." Harry replied hurriedly. "I'm just looking at him."
"I was like you once Harry." Lupin told him. "I told myself I wasn't attracted to Severus yet my tongue one day found itself in his throat just as his penis one day found itself buried in my ass."
"Eww, gross." Harry said covering his ears.
"But I loved that Slytherin boy." Lupin continued as he pushed off the things on his desk and led upon it staring up at the ceiling. "I could never tell my friends of course, what would they think of me? He was a Slytherin, I was a Gryffindor, we weren't allowed to be. So we kept our relationship secret. Lovers by night and enemies by day. I cannot even begin to describe how much I hurt him on a daily basis. All those times when your father and Sirius would bully him and I stood by and did nothing. Yet when I'd meet up with him in the library or after dark, he never once complained."
"I think I'm just going to go." Harry said inching towards the door.
"Now hold on Harry." Lupin called to him as he clumsily climbed off of the table and placed his hands on Harry's face. "You clearly have feelings for Draco and that's ok. You don't have to be afraid of your own emotions. You just follow your heart and tell him how you feel. Don't worry about what your friends think, just do what you feel is right. The biggest regret of my life is not telling Severus that I loved him…and trying to eat him…and moving onto Sirius when he began to close off from me…anyway the point is…um…I had a point I'm sure I did…oh yes…I loved Severus but I never did anything about it when I had the chance…I just let him slip through my fingers…and here I am years later, still in love with that boy…well man now…but he won't even dance with me. Do you see what I'm trying to tell you Harry?"
"Um…not really no." Harry replied in total confusion.
"Well that makes two of us." Lupin said tapping the sides of Harry's face slightly. "Now if you'll excuse me Harry, I'm going to go and be sick." He smiled warmly at Harry before stepping away and retching into the bin.
"I'll just…show myself out." Harry told him awkwardly before hurrying out the door.
As he walked down the hall he bumped into Draco Malfoy. He looked the blonde boy up and down and once again found himself thinking he was gorgeous.
"I am gay." Harry said out loud looking right at Draco.
"That's nice Potter." Draco responded scathingly. "I'm glad we had this talk, now do piss off."
Stepping up to the Slytherin, Harry made to kiss him but Draco forced him away in disgust before moving quickly down the corridor.
To Be Continued
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