Nathaniel walked over to the library. He walked over to the cabinet and filled a goblet with wine. He just took a sip when he heard the door open and close behind him.
"Told you!" He heard a familiar voice say teasingly. Nathaniel chuckled and turned around. "You're still a boy, Fergus." Fergus leaned casually against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. He grinned widely. "Don't change the subject."
He turned more seriously. "As I said: she won't judge you on your name. Every family has a black sheep, and the Couslands have been no exception to that. Yes, a rotten apple injures its neighbours, but it's up to them whether or not this injury is beyond repair." "That is exactly the whole point Fergus, I cannot repair what my father has done. I cannot bring your family back, make the torturing in Denerim undone or return the slaves that have been sold to fund the war."
Fergus took a deep breath and shook his head: "No, you can't. But you can be who you are. And you helped to give me my sister back." Nathaniel raised a brow and cocked his head a little: "What do you mean?" "Like I said to you earlier this evening, and I stand with that: don't look too much at your father. Due to HIS betrayal I've lost my wife, my son and my parents. Shanna has changed due to all events. She has always expected to marry some noble, have a family and rule beside him in a similar way as our parents used to. She was there when it happened, and I think that it has made more of an impact on her then she'll admit. Being there, watching defenseless people getting slaughtered and not being able to save them. I mean, I've lost my soldiers in the wilds, but at least that was more of a fair fight. We were armed." He rubbed his forehead. "Never mind, I start repeating myself… What I mean is: we've known each other since childhood, Nathaniel. I recall you as a quiet boy, a thinker, a dreamer, with a good heart. You knew what you wanted, but you also didn't mind to make compromises. Do you remember that time when she fell out of the tree in the court yard?" Nathaniel ponders a bit, then nods slowly. "One of the few times we all joined in a game of hide-and-seek. Delilah spotted her and ran to the target zone. Of course our little monkey tried to be faster than her, and fell out. Thankfully she had nothing more than a skinned shin and a tear in her dress, but she was crying from the shock. You were the first to get to her and carry her back to her parents. Maker, your father was furious that you didn't prevent her from climbing the tree in the first place. But you let it be and took the blame. And exactly that is what you're doing now: you're blaming yourself for the mistake someone else made." Nathaniel looked away from Fergus and took a gulp from his wine. "You're a good guy, Nathaniel, unless I'm really mistaken by you. You weren't there when it happened and you didn't even know about it. How could either Shanna or I blame you for that? I just hope you can forgive her for bringing your father to justice."
"I… I don't know…" "What do you mean you don't know?" Fergus voice got an angry tone. "Do you think she enjoyed it? She is not some kind of cold-blooded assassin Nathaniel. She won't kill if she has a choice in the matter. She has been furious at Alastair for beheading Teyrn Loghain when he yielded, she feels horrible for every life that she takes. I was sure that my sister, in the way that I knew her, was dead, Nathaniel." His voice calmed down and got a bit of a sad undertone. "The little happy girl died and became a general, a commander who acts out of duty and who forgot about herself. I was afraid of that, and it pained me. But today I've seen that she's still there, behind the cover."
He sighed and looked up: "I don't know if I should tell you this, but… she confessed to me that she wanted to die, on top of that tower in Denerim. She knew that the warden who strikes the final blow on the archdemon dies. She left Alastair behind at the gates to protect him: he would be king. There was nothing left for her: all she knew that she was the last living Cousland and the chances of having children are very slim. Not to mention that it would be suspicious to have two wardens on the throne… that's why she decided to break up with Alastair. But Maker knows why He spared her at that time." He smiled a bit "But I know I'm grateful for that. However, she could use some support now. She feels lonely; her friends went each their own way, hardly keeping contact until today. And she has the burden of being both Warden Commander and Arlessa."
Nathaniel glanced at him, feeling a sting in his chest. "Than what? You expect her to return to Alas… I mean, king Theirin?" Fergus shook his head. "No, I doubt that she would do that. What has been, has been. And the same drawbacks remain anyway. I was actually hoping that you could support her a bit." Nathaniel looked up dumbfounded. He just stared at Fergus for a couple of moments before stammering: "Wh… what? What do you mean?" Fergus shrugged: "You're a noble who've been taught how to rule, you're a Grey Warden and…" he grinned mischievously: "I've seen how you two look at each other."
Nathaniel felt himself blush. "So that is why you wanted me to ask her to dance? But I don't think she feels that way." "Why don't you give it a chance? Or did you lie about that girl in the Marshes?" Nathaniel shook his head: "No, that's a thing of the past. I just… don't know. And I'm not a noble anymore."
Fergus walked over to Nathaniel. "Hey, I'm sorry if I've been confusing you. But know that I just want to see her happy. She's the last part of my family I have left. I love her, and I hope she can find someone who will complement her. I hope you can support her, whether it be as a friend or more. Know that you have my blessing, Nate."
Nate stepped in and gave Fergus a friendly hug: "Thank you, old friend." Fergus returned the hug: "You're welcome." He released Nathaniel and slapped him on the shoulder. "But let us return to the others. We're missing out on the fun."