Kala sits in the cafeteria, staring at a cup of tea nestled between her hands. She permits herself a tiny ripple of triumph.
Will is awake, and while the drug is not perfect - he must take the anticonvulsant to prevent a repeat of what happened that afternoon - Will is coherent, and Whispers cannot reach him.
That, she thinks, is a tremendous relief, and an accomplishment of which she is pleased. She offers a small thanks to Ganesha.
She sits back against the metal chair, thinking how quickly it had all happened: Riley appeared in the lab just 20 minutes ago, as Kala was inputting data on a project with her colleague. Riley told her that the nurse had arrived; it was time to try the drug.
Kala excused herself and headed to the lavatory, telling her colleague she felt suddenly unwell, but declining assistance.
She entered the empty lavatory and found herself in a small bedroom. Riley was at Will's bedside, preparing a needle while the two sealed mouthwash bottles lay in front of her on the nightstand. Kala instructed Riley to try the original drug first, directed her to the correct bottle to open, and told her the dosage to use on Will. Kala watched as Riley turned Will's left arm, inserting the drug intravenously. They waited for less than half a minute for the drug to enter his system.
Then the convulsions started.
Kala took over Riley, rolling Will to his side, away from her, supporting his head so he doesn't choke. His body strained in the throes of a gran mal seizure. His limbs flailed, and the nurse told Kala/Riley not to restrain him as she moved a nearby glass of water out of reach and grabbed the bedsheets so he didn't tangle in them as his legs jerked. Will's chest clenched in dry-heaves but he didn't vomit; his face flushed a bright red, and his heart beat so furiously that Kala could count beats per minute from the vein pulsing at his throat. The nurse worried for his heart rate, saying they must call for an ambulance: She and Riley objected, aware it would be a death sentence for all of them, afraid they will lose Will anyway.
And then she felt it: a "snap" in her head that can only be compared to a sudden blow, followed by an aching emptiness very similar to the pain she felt when Wolfgang had deliberately blocked her from himself. The snap is so strong and unexpected that she was jolted out of Riley's body as Will stopped shaking and opened his eyes. His color returned to normal.
Kala shook and would have collapsed but for Wolfgang, holding her up. She hadn't even noticed him, or that the rest of the Cluster had appeared.
It had been bittersweet to know Whispers had come to Will and been denied, because so had they.
"Kala."
It takes her a moment to recollect herself. She watches Rajan as he sits across from her. He's drinking a cup of coffee with cream and sugar.
"Are you ok?"
Kala's head tilts quizzically before her face clears. She'd been gone for 15 minutes with Riley. It felt like hours. "Yes," she says nodding. "I felt a bit unwell earlier."
"I went to see you and they told me," he says, taking a sip of his coffee. Kala lifts her own cup, drinking her tea, puts it down with fingers that suddenly flutter in nervousness. She's not sure why she's nervous; she's spoken to Rajan several times since returning to work, although their prior encounter had left her furious. If anything, she tells herself, she should be angry, not nervous.
Rajan reaches for her, entwines his fingers with hers, as he used to do, and they stare silently at their linked hands, feeling an unexpected, mutual sadness. Kala sees how bare her finger looks without the ring that once adorned it, can feel Rajan's wistfulness.
But the sight of their hands interlocked brings with it a memory of other hands, fairer than his, mixed with hers. She disentangles her fingers from his, curling them around her cup and takes another sip of tea.
Rajan's mouth twists a little; he sighs. "I want to apologize again about the other day," he finally says, staring at his coffee. "I had no right to accost you like that, when we're no longer engaged. But I just had to understand." He looks up at her, his expression wounded. "I don't know how you met him. I just want to know if…" he shrugs and makes an impatient little gesture with his hands. "How did you meet this gora? When? When, while we were promised to each other? I know you said you were not unfaithful, Kala, but he was here, in Mumbai." Rajan's voice doesn't rise, but there's an odd undercurrent to his jealous tone that hadn't been there before, and it makes her feel as if somehow, she has offended him deeply.
For several seconds, Kala stares at Rajan blankly, and then her anger of the other day returns.
Someone who knows her had seen her at the airport; had seen her kiss Wolfgang and felt compelled to report the encounter to Rajan. And he, in turn, felt compelled to confront Kala about it shortly after she arrived for work, the day Wolfgang left for Amsterdam. Kala had argued with Rajan; she had been furious.
Yesterday, he apologized for upsetting her and said nothing more. She had accepted his apology, and thought that was the end of the matter.
"Rajan," she says warningly, "we are done discussing this. I told you before that I am sorry someone decided to make trouble and tell you these things when it is not their business. But I will not speak to you about this."
"Do your parents know?" Rajan watches her face and smiles bitterly. "Do they know he's a gora and that he was here to visit you? They don't know, do they? You didn't take him to meet them, did you?"
"Is that what is bothering you?" she demands, shocked. "That he's white?" Rajan doesn't answer, flushes under her brittle stare.
"Kala," he says, but she stands and leaves, even angrier than the day before.
The encounter with Rajan mars the rest of her day and diminishes her pleasure in finally waking Will.
During her remaining hour of work, she finishes as if nothing is wrong, but she is suddenly hyperaware of her colleagues, feels curious eyes on her and wonders if everyone knows. For the first time in her memory, she leaves work precisely on time.
Kala goes home, says little of her day to her parents and asks to be excused from dinner. She tells them she's unwell and retires to her bedroom. She checks in on Will, and finds that he is asleep of his own volition, tired from the trauma of the day. He doesn't stir when she bends down to whisper his name in his ear. Riley assures Kala he's ok and that he's taken the anticonvulsant.
It's still early wherever they are, so a few hours later, before Kala retires for the night in Mumbai, she sees them again, when Will is awake and eating carefully. He has not had another seizure, although Riley gave him another injection as soon as he felt a heightened awareness of Riley.
Kala nods, asks Riley to keep a journal of pretty much everything: what time the injection is given; what Will's reaction is; what he feels immediately before and after; what he eats; when he sleeps; most importantly, when he feels or senses Whispers or anyone in the Cluster. Will can feel her presence but isn't sure which of the Cluster is there. He is just grateful to be awake and lucid and living again; he can turn his attention back to helping the Cluster. He looks at Riley, holds her hand. Kala is happy for them.
Kala returns to herself but can't calm down. She worries about Will, she worries about Wolfgang, she is so upset with Rajan but worries whether he'll say something to her parents. She tosses and turns in her bed, wishing that Wolfgang is there.
She is suddenly in a cell in South Korea, sitting on the cold concrete floor, eyeing Sun apologetically.
"I can't sleep," she says sheepishly. "Can we just talk?"
Sun lifts an eyebrow, smiles faintly, but nods. Sun was used to these visits before Wolfgang reconciled with Kala, and she never seemed to mind, no matter the hour. Oddly, Kala feels closer to Sun than anyone else in the Cluster, even Riley or Capheus. But perhaps it isn't so odd, because Kala thinks Sun is much like Wolfgang.
Sun sits up to make room and Kala gets up to sit next to her on the bunk in solitary. She accepts the blanket Sun hands over to cover herself from the chill of the prison cell; Kala is wearing a thin camisole and loose shorts, more appropriate for Indian nights than a Korean prison.
"It is very convenient that you always seem to be in solitary when I need to talk to you," she says lightly, smiling at Sun."You were fighting again?"
"Always." Sun smiles wryly. She lays back against the wall. "What, exactly, are you so disturbed about that you can't sleep?"
Kala thinks about Wolfgang, and the fact that he isn't with her tonight because he is breaking into a safe somewhere near Amsterdam for the Russian mob. It is so surreal it barely registers.
But if she is truly being honest, that isn't the real reason why she is still awake. And because Sun is a part of her, it is impossible to lie.
"I'm afraid that Rajan will tell my parents about Wolfgang," she says softly, shame creeping into her voice. "I'm afraid he'll tell them that I was with Wolfgang just two days ago, but never brought him home to meet them. I'm afraid of what they'll say... especially my father."
"Why?" Sun asks, and she fixes a curious stare at Kala, tilts her head as though processing the surge of emotions she feels rippling through her. "Because you think what Rajan implies is true? That they'll be upset because he's a gora?"
Kala lets out a pained breath, rests her head on her knees, drawn up so that her feet rest on the cot. "I don't know what they'll make of that," she admits. "I just ended my engagement to Rajan because I don't love him: But how could I bring Wolfgang to meet them so soon? I told them there is someone else, but .. " She gives a muffled groan and burrows her head even deeper into her knees. She doesn't need to say it, but Sun knows Kala has no desire to disappoint her parents anymore than she's already done, and, yes...she is worried about their reaction to Wolfgang, wonders if they'll react like Rajan.
Sun smirks a little at that. If they ever learn a thing about him, Wolfgang's race will be the least of their concerns.
Sun sighs. "Well," she says, refraining from making that observation, "if they have a problem with that -which I doubt- then they'll need to get over it, won't they, when they learn that you are now also a gora?"
Kala lets out a startled huff.
But of course it's true. She isn't just herself anymore: She's all ethnicities, several nationalities. American and Kenyan, Icelandic, Spanish and Korean. German. She hadn't thought of it that way, but if the Cluster is truly connected...well, she's many things she'd never thought to be. She gives a slight smile.
"Is that the only reason you didn't bring him to meet your family?" Sun asks, knowing the answer.
Kala's smile fades. She sits up, weary. When Wolfgang had been in Mumbai, they had talked about him coming back to be with her, but neither had brought up introducing him to her parents.
"If I introduce him," she says, "they will expect that we are serious enough to think of marriage, but I don't know if that is something Wolfgang will ever consider." Kala looks at Sun with tired eyes, smiles faintly. "I could barely convince him to be with me. I don't know if he believes in anything so conventional as marriage. And I didn't want to ruin anything by asking."
Kala shakes her head, shrugs. "I guess, these are really nothing," she says. "I worry about things that I can't control." She smiles a little sadly in the dimness of the cell. "I knew when I broke off my engagement that it would disappoint my family. They think the world of Rajan. But I will always choose Wolfgang. However way that may turn out to be."
They are silent for a while before Kala grows drowsy and thanks Sun, wishing her a goodnight, grateful for her patience and blunt counsel. Kala returns to her bedroom in Mumbai, finds it strange that Wolfgang isn't in her bed when her head hits the pillow.
Kala.
She thinks she's dreaming, but Wolfgang sits at the edge of her bed, dressed completely in black. A gloved hand rests on her ankle.
"What is it?" she sits up, alarmed, remembering where he is, what he is doing. "What's wrong?"
And then she is wherever he is: crouched beside him as he sits on a small stool in an office lit only by moonlight, in front of an opened safe, papers on his lap. He holds something out for her to see.
It's in Cyrillic script, but she reads it, and her brows furrow, because she looks at a list of chemicals, attributed to different sources in different amounts on different dates. But the chemicals comprise a drug, DMT, that Riley had taken the first time she visited Will. And of the five pages, each labeled "По продукту" - "By Product"- the chemicals are essentially the same, except for the last two pages.
And those pages are the chemicals that comprise a variation of the antipsychotic she gave to Will.