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Chapter 10
Christine sat frozen, her heart pounding, her mouth agape, and Adele eventually noticed.
"Christine?" she asked in concern. "What is the matter? Are you not excited?"
She finally regained her composure, but her expression was one of worry. "Oh…well, of course I am, Adele. It is just that…" she hesitated. She needed to speak to someone, and she sure was not going to speak to Erik about it. "May I talk to you about something?"
"Of course," Adele said, sitting at the edge of her bed. "You can speak to me about anything."
Christine took a deep breath and began nervously. "The thing is…I was engaged to a different man before Erik-I mean Monsieur…Destler." Adele's eyes widened, but Christine continued, "And…I loved him, I truly did. Though the way I loved him was much different from the way I…feel about Monsieur Destler. He had made me feel safe, comfortable, and I was happy with him. But with Erik—and excuse me for speaking so boldly—it is as if I am on fire when touches me, or even looks at me! I am afraid of the intensity of our feelings for one another. It has proven him…to have quite a temper, in the past." She paused, and groaned in frustration. "I am just so confused, Adele. I feel so guilty for allowing myself to try and be happy with Erik, because I know that the other man would feel betrayed if he knew that I was." Her voice broke toward the end of her speech, and her eyes grew wet.
Adele hated to see the girl so torn. She rubbed her hand on Christine's back softly and assured her, "You should never feel guilty for the way that you feel, dear. We cannot control our feelings. You are positive about marrying Monsieur Destler, yes?"
Christine nodded, and Adele smiled softly and said, "Then that is all there is to it. You must not dwell on that other man, on his feelings. You must move forward, Christine. Allow yourself to be happy. Worry about your own feelings. Those are the most important. And as for the intensity of your feelings for one another, well…that is love. True love is the scariest thing in the world, but also the most wonderful thing."
Christine took it all in, thinking seriously for a moment. Finally, she smiled, wiping her teary eyes. "I suppose you are right," Christine said. "It is my wedding day. I should be happy." And she was happy, in a way. She could not deny her connection to Erik any longer. They would be married and nothing would stop her from following her heart, her desires.
That thought made her stomach twist.
"Thank you, Adele," Christine said earnestly. "You are wonderful!"
She embraced the woman, who laughed and said, "I wish you nothing but happiness, my dear. Now eat up! I am going to run you a bath."
Christine needed one last thing from her. "Adele," she said quietly, almost whispering, "If I…wrote a letter, would you…deliver it for me? I just need to explain…"
Adele deliberated, not thinking it was a great idea, but she wanted to see Christine happy. She nodded once, "Very well."
Christine smiled. "Oh, thank you so much. I will write it later. I should focus on getting married today…"
With that, Adele smiled once again and left to prepare Christine's bath.
Christine ate her breakfast and wondered what would happen after she married Erik. He had made it clear that he was not expecting them to…do anything…but what if she wanted to? Her nerves were building more and more every second.
The rest of the morning was spent making sure Christine was absolute perfection for the wedding. She bathed and washed her hair, and Adele helped her into her wedding dress. They applied rouge to Christine's cheeks, beeswax to her lips, plucked her eyebrows, darkened her lashes, and added a light, gold colored eye paint to make her brown eyes shine. They played with her hair, but ultimately decided to leave it down; that was what framed her face the best.
Adele sighed and stroked Christine's curls, looking into the large mirror before them. "You look absolutely lovely, Christine," Adele said quietly. "He is going to be enchanted."
Christine smiled, looking down bashfully. "I am…nervous, Adele," she whispered.
Adele took her hand. "Do not be," she said softly. "You two are meant to be together. It will be magical."
Christine looked in the mirror once more, thrilled with how she looked. She took a deep breath and turned to Adele. "Thank you, again," she said, smiling. "I will see you soon?"
The woman nodded, squeezing her hand. "Yes. Good luck, Christine." They smiled at each other once more and Christine turned to leave the room.
She descended the stairs carefully, taking deep breaths and trying to calm her nerves. Before she knew it, she was standing right outside the music room door. When she entered, Erik was standing near the piano. He wore black trousers and coat, a white dress shirt with black cravat, and a deep burgundy waistcoat. He was also wearing his usual white mask. Christine could not deny that he looked quite handsome, and her heart began to pound.
His face lit up when he saw her, unable to believe that this girl who looked more like and angel than a human was going to be his bride. He watched as she walked toward him, looking more lovely and innocent than ever with her shy smile and dark eyes. She reached him and he took her hand, giving it a kiss. "My God, Christine," he said, his voice low and smooth as silk. "You look…exquisite."
She could hear the joy in his voice, could see it in his expression. It made her heart swell. "Thank you. You look quite handsome, Erik."
He almost believed her. He reached over to the small end table and produced Christine with a single red rose with all of the thorns carefully removed, a black ribbon tied to the center.
She took it, smiling. "I have not received one of these in a while," she teased him, her playful tone making him smirk.
"I have something else for you." Erik took her face in his hands, gently, blue eyes on fire. And then, he said intensely, "Christine Daaé, I love you. I had no reason to live until I found you. I need you to know just how much you mean to me."
She trembled, her breath hitching at his confession. It was the first time he had outright told her he loved her, and she wanted nothing more than for him to kiss her to make the moment even sweeter.
He did not. Instead, he released her face and sat at the piano.
He began playing a beautiful melody, but it was nothing compared to the beauty of his voice, of his words that followed:
"No one would listen
No one but her
Heard as the outcast hears.
Shamed into solitude
Shunned by the multitude
I learned to listen
In my dark, my heart heard music.
I longed to teach the world
Rise up and reach the world
No one would listen
I alone could hear the music
Then at last, a voice in the gloom
Seemed to cry 'I hear you;
I hear your fears,
Your torment and your tears.'
She saw my loneliness
Shared in my emptiness
No one would listen
No one but her
Heard as the outcast hears
No one would listen
No one but her
Heard as the outcast hears..."
The song ended, and Christine did not realize that her tears had spilled over. His song had left a huge imprint in her heart, and she was overwhelmed with emotion. Christine knew in that moment that she loved him. I love you too, Erik, she wanted to say, but could not make herself speak the words.
Erik stood, saw the emotion on her face, and brushed away her tears with his thumbs. "You have brought me more joy than I ever thought I would be allowed to feel," he murmured thickly. "I cannot thank you enough for that, Christine."
She reached up, caressing the unmasked side of his face, whispering, "Oh, Erik. That was so beautiful." He leaned in to her touch, sighing. Would she ever get used to that reaction? He turned his head and pressed his lips to her palm.
After a moment, he took her hand, leading her to the table. On it was two wedding bands, a piece of paper, and an ink pen. Erik picked up the smaller of the two wedding bands, and his hand shook as he slid it into place next to her engagement ring. The thin, simple band blended well with her diamond ring.
Christine then took the other band and Erik's left hand, placing the ring upon his appropriate finger.
And then, Erik crushed her into his arms. She could feel his heart pounding and could hear the shakiness of his breath, his desperation nearly breaking her. She swallowed down the tears that threatened and softly ran her hands along his back, trying to sooth him without words.
Erik took a breath and released her, and when she looked up at him she saw how his eyes were wet. She smiled at him, her voice ringing strong as she said, "You are not alone, Erik. I am here."
She picked up the pen, signed her new name, Christine Destler, on the paper. That strange calmness that she had felt the night she had made her choice was back, and she had no fear as she took his face in her hands and pressed her lips against his.
If you didn't know, the 2004 movie has a deleted scene where the Phantom sings alone in his lair about Christine, and I was so disappointed that they decided not to keep it. So, I just knew that I had to include it in this story somehow, and that is the song Erik sang to Christine in this chapter. It's called No One Would Listen if you want to look it up. Gerry's voice is very beautiful in it. :) Please let me know what you think.