Monday had finally arrived. I met with Raoul and his father just inside the theatre. Raoul handed me one of his foppish frozen coffee drinks. I'm proud to admit I only hesitated a moment before accepting.
'Thanks,' I sat between the pair of them. Thankfully the father wasn't much for chatter. His son on the other hand...
The accompanist came across the stage and tried to get my attention. Thank goodness.
"If you'll excuse me for a moment," I said as I stood to meet them on the stage. The accompanist was a tall, slender red headed woman named Bridgette. She smiled brightly as she introduces herself to me. We chatted a moment before she takes her leave to warm up.
I make my way back to the fop. He grins.
"Is it normal for a producer to be so involved with the casting?" he asked, still smiling.
"I wouldn't think so, but this is very near and dear to me. I imagine most producers would be less concerned about the auditions, but I have a very specific image in my mind for some of the roles." We chat until it's time to begin. I am still finding it very difficult to hate the fop.
After a long morning of tenors we break for a quick lunch. I a exhausted and famished. I joined the fop around the corner at a café he recommended. His father had taken his leave. Bridgette and the stage manager, Stella, came along with us. It still feels very strange to be in social situations such as this. Especially with my once mortal enemy. This version of him was actually quite charming. Perhaps the last was as well. I hadn't known him very well! He seemed to have an impressive knowledge in the theatre business and we agree on almost everything so far.
"So things are going well I think!" Fop says as he scans his menu. "What do you think, Erik?"
"We still have a huge amount of people to see. There is definite talent in the group we have already seen, though. It may be hard to choose."
Bridgette comments on a few of the gentlemen we had seen. I read over my notes while they chat. Stella has a distinct laugh that has me smiling down at my notes. The fop had made a joke I suppose. The food arrives and we eat quickly so we won't keep anyone waiting back at the theatre.
I am starting to realize that I am still mostly a spectator when it comes to life. I wonder if I am wasting this life endlessly searching for Christine. I feel a dull ache even thinking her name. A dark look must have passed over my face, for the fop grabbed my shoulder.
"Erik, you ok there?"
"Yes, yes. Just daydreaming."
"Well I would hate to see your reaction to a nightmare!" he laughed. "Are you all finished? We should probably be heading back."
"All done. After you." I gesture for the rest of the group to go ahead of me. That fop has no idea what my nightmares do to me.
The heat hits my face as we exit the air-conditioned café. I'm not sure why but our lunch had left me a bit depressed. It is as if, even though I no longer wear a physical mask, I still hide behind a figurative one.
I let out a sigh of relief as we enter the theatre. At least the social part of the day was finished. The rest of day passed fairly quickly. My notebook was quickly filling up with comments about various tenors. We were seeing one more audition and calling it a night.
"I think we should get dinner and discuss today's auditions," Fop murmured softly, leaning in closer. I only have my thoughts and an empty penthouse to go home to.
"Sounds good." I reply quietly. The last tenor is a bust and I stop his song early. I hear the fop giggle. I stand stretching my cramped legs and grab my jacked and hat. "So did you have a suggestion for dinner?" I lean back against the seats in front of me.
"Sushi? Maybe not, I think I may be hungerier than that. We could just head out and see what grabs us."
I slide out of the row and gesture for the Fop to lead. I hear Stella shout goodbye and give her a quick wave.
"Do you think we should have invited her?" Fop asks as he pushed the door open. I shrug at him. He runs back in shouting, "Stella! Stella!" Then chuckles and shouts again.
"Would you care to join us for supper?" I ask.
"Thanks, but I still have some work to do here." Stella laughed.
It is still a bit early for the dinner rush in New York so we are easily able to find a table at a steakhouse restaurant. Out of habit I order a glass of red wine. Fop orders a beer. We compare notes as we waited for our steaks. Surprisingly we have very similar opinions. We are able to eliminate a few, and make a few moves to the top of the list. Since we have a few hundred auditions to do we were deciding on a call back list.
I am still slightly disturbed to be sitting here with my nemesis. Clearly this man has no recollection of his prior life. Surely he would hate me as well. He has been nothing but pleasant with me thus far. What if Christine doesn't remember me? I can't decide if that would be a positive or a negative. If I ever find her that is.
It is impossible to not think of her now. The fop was going to be a constant reminder. Our meal arrived and we ate in silence. I think mostly because the fop is famished. We split the bill and go our separate ways.
My penthouse was dark and lonely as expected. I pour myself another glass of wine and sit at the piano. I play into the wee hours of the morning because I know what sleep will bring. Eventually I have no choice but to try for a few hours of rest. Subconsciously I reach to remove my mask only to find skin. I laugh at myself and recline back.
The next two weeks go by quickly and similarly. My ball of hate grows smaller the more I get to know this Raoul. Friday arrives and Stella and Bridgette joined us for our meal. Soprano auditions began Monday. I felt a little sick thinking about anyone but my Aminta playing the role. I am paying no attention to where we were going as I was lost in thought.
"Erik, is this ok?" Stella asks, gesturing at a pizzeria.
"Yes, anything is fine." The weather's muggy and there is only outside seating available. Fop rolls up his shirtsleeves as we reach our table. Even I take my suit jacket off and hang it over the back of the plastic chair. I loosen my tie as we sit. Fop whistles a cat call. I raise my eyebrow and glare simultaneously. Everyone laughs, even me. We sit, sharing a pizza and I realize I have become comfortable with these people. I consider them friends, even the fop. In my prior life I hadn't had many friends, not even this many.
It had grown dark, just barely dusk. The street was starting to light up.
"Hey do you want to hit up this club? It's a new favorite of mine." Stella asks, describing the show.
"Sure, sounds interesting," I pay the bill, ignoring their protests.
"We can't go this early!" Fop states loudly as we exit. "It's barely eight." We start walking down the street. "Let's find a bar and get a couple drinks first. I think I know a good one near there." Both were a few blocks away. The heat was declining as the sun had gone down and we were getting close to my penthouse
"Well my place is about two blocks down the this street, I have wine. But only wine." I also want to change out of the suit I was wearing.
"Well lead the way buddy," Raoul hung back and walked next to me. "I bet you have a sweet place. Like all artsy and such. I can't wait to check it out." I nod at the doorman who looked slightly surprised to see anyone but Marie with me.
"Good evening, Sir." he smiles at us.
"Good evening." I lead the group to the elevator and up to my penthouse. It was dark of course. I hit the lights and invited them to have a seat in the living room. I brought in some wine and glasses. "Help yourselves, and make yourselves at home." I excuse myself and go to change my suit. I sit on my bed to retie my shoes.
"You changed into pretty much the same suit." Raoul comes in, looking around. Opens my walk-in closet door. "Maybe you should try something more casual. You always look so put together but like you are going to a funeral or something." He flips the light switch. "Let's see...black suit...black suit...black suit...ooooh grey suit, you rebel." He pulled something off a hanger. "How about this?" He's holding a sweater Marie had gotten me for Christmas or my birthday, I can't recall which. It's lightweight, red, and not really my style. My clothing tastes haven't changed much in this life . He brings it over and holds it up. "Not with the black pants though." He goes back to check the trousers out. "I found a pair of khakis but the tag is still on them. You really don't do casual, huh?"
"No, is it that obvious?" I look at the khaki pants with a slight look of disgust. I have no idea why I have them in my possession. Probably another forgotten gift.
"Now shoes. Loafers?" I walk back and grab a pair that I just recently bought.
"Will these do?" He nodded. Then started looking through more of my clothing. He pulled a few more things out.
"Hey we are pretty much the same size, can I borrow?"
"Why do I have to wear this," I point at the sweater and khakis, "but you want to wear a black suit?"
"Because I always wear khakis and sweaters." he laughs, shrugging. "We can change identities for the night!" He starts to unbutton his dress shirt. He pulls my shirt on and buttons up. "Well it is slightly long but it'll do. So glad I wore black shoes today." Then he starts unzipping his pants.
"I can go into the bathroom and change..." I gather up the outfit he picked out. This is not like the locker room. This is weirdly intimate.
"Nah it's cool. I don't care." He steps out of his trousers standing there in his boxers. I am pretty uncomfortable but start unbuttoning my shirt. He finishes dressing and sits down to put his shoes back on. "Damn dude. You really are a beast, never would have guessed what was under those suits." Very uncomfortable now, I pull the sweater over my head. It's pretty snug.
"I think it looks fine with the black."
"No, maybe if it were winter but it's not, so drop those pants." He chuckles and holds the khakis up for me. "What? Are you going commando or something?" I feel heat rising up my neck and unbutton my pants. I step out of them and reach over to grab the khakis. I let out an exasperated sigh. I walk over to my dresser and grab a pair of brown dress socks. Fop gets up to look through my drawers. "I'm sorry, am I being rude?"
"A bit," I grumble.
"Sorry, you're just so fascinating."
"How's that?"
"Everything. Tell me, did you paint these?" He nods toward a pair of paintings that I did in fact paint.
"Yes. Why?"
"See, just fascinating. They're awesome by the way." He closes the drawer he had been going through. "Should we join the ladies?" I let out another sigh.
Stella and Bridgette had finished off a bottle of wine by the time we came back out. I grab another bottle and pour myself a glass then top theirs off. I hand the bottle to the fop and sit at the piano.
"Are you going to play for us?" Raoul leans back on my leather couch, sipping his wine.
"Would you like me to?" I take a long drink of my wine. Everyone is nodding.
I glare at Raoul. And play a song only his former self would recall. It's a very old song that I once heard him and Christine sing. I stare at him and even sing softly. I've seen Marie have moments where it seems she remembers, if only for a moment. I watch him. He is still smiling. Then his eyebrows furrow and I see it. Confusion, then the realization, but just for a brief moment. I smile brightly at him. Then I play some random classical songs. It will be fun to toy with him. I drink the rest of my glass.
"Should I open another bottle?" I ask standing from the piano.
"We can probably go now, I think." Stella spoke up. Bridgette and I gather the glasses and take them to the kitchen.
"Are you ok with this, Erik?" Bridgette asked.
"Sure, why do you ask?"
"I don't know. You seemed annoyed when you came from changing."
"That's because I was annoyed." I laugh. "Let's go." The others are waiting by the elevator door. The club is several blocks away. To say that it was packed would be an understatement.
"Erik you should talk to them. That will get us in quick." Raoul says. "I'll go with you."
"Why would they care about me? They probably won't even know me." I am feeling uncomfortable again.
"Yes they will! Come on girls." Raoul puts his hand on the back of my shoulder and pushes. I walk over with them in tow.
"Hello there. Would you have room in there for me and my friends?" I try using my glare that used to make people do whatever I wanted but the bouncers weren't even looking at me.
"He's Erik Destler!" The fop practically shouts, grinning.
The two bouncers looked at each other and had a quick word.
"See, I told you." I grumbled. "Waste of time." One bouncer stepped back and spoke into his walkie talkie. I feel like an idiot. I'll kill that fop for making me look stupid. I start backing up, away from him.
"OK, come on then." The bouncer unlatched the roped off area and motioned us through. "Wait just inside there, please. Someone wants to meet you, sir." Great, this just gets worse. One of the bartenders meets us inside.
"Mr. Destler, would you come with me? Sorry, only Mr. Destler." She said when Raoul tries to follow. I look back at them and shrug.
"I'll find you," I assure them. I follow the girl toward the back of the club then up a flight of stairs. She leads me past a bunch of closed doors and knocks on the last one. After a moment she pushsd it open and I follow her in. There was a slight woman in the shadows. The bartender turned and left.
"Erik, is it really you?" The woman comes forward and my jaw drops. Margaurite! She gasps when she got a good look at me. "Mon Dieu! Oh your face!" She takes my face in her hands. "Oh you're perfect." Then she hugs me.
"So you remember?" I ask, hugging her back. I feel her nod against me. "Have you seen her?"
She steps back. Her hand remains on my former ruined cheek. "She is here now, Erik. She works for me, but...she does not remember." I feel my eyes burn with tears.
"Oh thank you. I think I need to sit." She laughs and leads me to a chair. "Does she sing?" She gave a deep throated laugh.
"Oh you'll see in about..." she glances at her watch..."fifteen minutes. When she has finished I want you to come back up here. You have no idea how happy I am to see you finally. I'll get you seated for the show now. Remember! Right back up here! We will talk more then."
The bartender came back in. "This way sir." She leads me back the way we had come. Further into the club was a small stage with a group of chairs gathered around.
"Ah...I came in with some people," I whisper loudly at the girl.
"Yes sir, just sit here, I will bring them over. Do you want something to drink?" My mouth has gone bone dry.
"Red wine, please." She disappears and I sit. I feel a surge of nerves. The Phantom never got nervous but apparently Erik does. Raoul and company join me. The bartender hands me my wine which I immediately gulped down. She laughs and promises to bring me another before the show starts. Raoul sits next to me drinking from a bottled beer.
"What was all that about?" he leans in close so I could hear him. "You ok? You look really pale? And you are really sweating. Maybe the sweater was a bad idea..." I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. I just nod and accept my second glass of wine. I lift my hand to down this one too. Raoul stops me. "You better slow down!" he yells, laughing. Now I hate him because he made me wear this ridiculous outfit while he sits there in my suit. And I gulp down my wine.
The lights dim and I sit up straighter in my seat. Music starts playing faintly, getting louder second by second. And then a flash of spotlight and my heart is in my throat.
And there she is.