A/N - Thanks so, so, so, so much!!!! You guys are seriously the best!

Thanks: othfan326, myla84, TypoKween, Miv246, TutorWife, reina123, Brooke6404, awhero, B. Davis, hiddenxtalent, brucas333, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, MissUnderstood92, Simoman, BDavis427, CheerandBrood323, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, chebelle, BrOoKe DaViS23, moonman, and IamCaroline.

Seriously, I love all your reviews, and you people always make me smile:)

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Finding My Way Back

Chapter 10 -

In the past week and a half, after spending a copious amount of time in Nathan and Haley's home, Brooke felt a tad bit jealous. Nathan and Haley had the perfect family. They had three perfect kids, and were the perfect husband and wife to each other. Most importantly, unlike Brooke, they were happy. Happiness and Brooke hadn't been paired together for quite sometime. She assumed from old pictures of her and Lucas, at one point in time they had been happy. Happy and in love. But after recent events, she wasn't sure if she'd ever feel that way again.

Brooke jerked out of her thoughts upon hearing a racket coming from the front door.

"Jamie, give me back my toy!"

"Try and reach it." He tormented his younger sister.

"Okay, that's enough. Jamie, come on, give it back to her. And then I want the both of you to go upstairs to your rooms and start your homework."

Brooke frowned to herself. Haley was the perfect mom; Brooke wasn't. And at the rate she was going, she was never going to be, either.

"Hey, Brooke."

"Hey, Haley. I hope you don't mind me crashing your place."

"Not at all." Haley smiled kindly, placing Ryan in the highchair attached to the end of the kitchen table. "Emma's napping?"

"Yeah. I just put her down."

Haley nodded in understanding. "You okay?" She asked, concerned, after a long silence.

"Yeah." Brooke shrugged it off. "I'm fine, just tired, very tired."

"Don't worry. It'll get easier. You wanna talk about it?" Haley closed the dishwasher and advanced towards Brooke, who at the moment was slouched in a chair, her elbows propped up on the table.

"How's Lucas?" Haley eyed Brooke suspiciously; she was definitely not expecting such question to escape Brooke's mouth. Brooke even surprised herself.

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"God." Lucas murmured, stepping inside the beach house. "Look at this place." It had been almost a week since he had moved some of his stuff into the house, and it was already looking like a pigsty. Clothes were strewn over the couch, books were lying on the floor, and his eyes could definitely not miss the coffee table that was covered with numerous beer bottles. So that's what he had been doing last night.

It would be a safe bet to say that he had been a huge wreck since Brooke confronted him about it all nearly two weeks ago. He had not only not seen Brooke since then, but Emma, too. And all his emotions caused by that definitely showed. He had not been able to get a good night's sleep, hence the bags that lay beneath his eyes. He also hadn't written one thing for his new book, and his deadline for the notes regarding the book were due tomorrow.

He walked towards the answering machine, and pushed a button after seeing the blinking red light.

"Hey, Lucas. It's Lindsey—." And that was all he needed to hear before pressing 'erase' on the small machine. Lindsey, the girl who had practically ruined his family. And though it wasn't only her fault, he couldn't help but blame everything on her. It made him feel better, though it didn't help anything at all because Brooke still wasn't talking to him. But he definitely couldn't blame her about that. She had trusted him with absolutely everything, and relied on him for everything, too.

And because of a stupid mistake he had made months earlier, that all went down the drain. And he couldn't have felt more guilty in his life.

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"So he's staying at our beach house?"

Haley nodded wordlessly, feeding Ryan baby food from a small jar.

"Have you spoken to him lately?" She wasn't sure why she was so interested. Maybe a part of her just wanted to know if he was suffering. Because he had made her suffer a lot. And she only hoped that he would be feeling just as miserable as she had been in the past two weeks.

"Brooke, I don't want to tell you something and then have you get all upset."

"Haley, I'll be fine."

"But you know you won't be. Do you remember how you were a week and a half ago? You were a mess, Brooke. And while you're still coping and all, I'd just hate to see you turn back like that."

Brooke nodded; Haley was right. If she wanted nothing to do with Lucas now, then she'd have to not ask about him, either.

"Maybe you should go talk to him." Haley suggested. "Talk things out. I don't know, It's just an idea."

"How, Haley?" Her voice cracked and her eyes immediately watered. She was going to cry again, great. "I don't know how I'd be able to do that. I can't even picture myself being in the same room as him anymore. And it sucks because all I can remember, and all I know about my husband, is that he's a liar and a cheater. But I just know there's so much more to him than that, right? I mean there's no way I would have fallen in love with a cheater, right?"

"Luke does love you, Brooke."

"I know, that's what everyone keeps telling me. But then I see what's he's done to me and I sometimes question that. After the accident and all, once I got comfortable with him again, I thought that maybe if I just happened to not get my memory back, maybe it'd all be okay. I'd just have to start all over, but I'd be fine eventually. But then this...this thing comes out and I just don't know anymore." By now the tears that had flooded her eyes were adorning her cheeks, and Haley had placed Ryan back in the highchair and was now sitting next to Brooke, holding her hand.

"And then I look at you and Nathan and your kids, and I just know that I must have been that happy with Lucas one time. But as much as I try to remember something, anything, I just can't. And I always think about him cheating on me, while I was at home, pregnant. And I can't help but think that he's just some horrible person. A horrible, heartless person. I mean, this is perfect timing for all this to come out, with me not remembering anything."

"Brooke, you know this is not your fault."

"I know." She sniffled. "But sometimes I like to think it is. Sometimes I like to think that's it me who messed this all up just so I don't have to deal with the fact that my own husband cheated on me."

"I really think you should go talk to him, Brooke."

"I think so, too. But I don't know if I can..."

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It was the next day, and Emma had been dropped off at Nathan and Haley's. Brooke knew what she needed to do.

"Mr. Scott." Lucas's secretary's voice rang through the phone. "You have someone here to see you."

Lucas sighed, shuffling through some work papers as the phone was cradled between his shoulder and ear. "Uhh, okay. Send them in." Lucas mumbled into the phone right before placing it down.

He picked up his notes again and started to read them over.

"Hi." A voice from the doorway called. It was a low voice, but a raspy one. And he knew who it was even without picking his eyes up off the papers.

"Br—Brooke, please, take a seat." He motioned to the set of chairs in front of his desk.

Brooke, uncomfortably and awkwardly, walked towards the chairs and took a seat. On his desk she saw pictures of the two of them. Some from when she assumed they were in highschool, and even a few were from their wedding. There was also one of Emma sleeping, and she guessed he must have taken it a few days after she had come home from the hospital.

"I'm so glad you came." Upon hearing his voice, hey eyes moved from the photographs to him. "Surprised, but glad." He added after a beat.

"I surprised myself, too. I thought about it, and I realized that we really need to talk."

"We do."

"Where's Lindsey?" She thought it was an appropriate question to ask.

"I let her go. When I got back to work the next day after...you know, I told her this just wasn't working out. She understood,...I think." The truth was, Lindsey didn't understand anything. She obviously thought that his cheating on his wife was no problem at all. And she had been leaving messages on his answering machine almost every day to prove it.

"Lucas, if you think that will change anything—."

"I know it doesn't." He cut her off. "But I just figured that it was something I should have done a long time ago. It would have probably prevented this all from happening. How's Emma?" He decided to change the topic.

"She's good. She misses you."

"I miss her, too. I was wondering, maybe if I could see her..."

"I'm going to be dropping by my office tomorrow, you can go to Nathan and Haley's house and see her then."

He nodded before replying. "Is that how it's going to be from now on? We're going to be avoiding each other each and everywhere we go?"

"Do you have a better solution?"

"Yes, Brooke. I thought that's why you came over here, so we can talk."

"We're talking right now, aren't we?"

"Brooke." He started fidgeting with the pencil on his desk. "I just...I want to know how to make this all better."

"You can't, Lucas." She said in a low whisper. "You can't. Not now anyway."

"So what are we going to do in the mean time?"

"I...I don't know." She bit her lip and tried not to cry. "I'm sorry, this was a bad idea. I think I should go." She quickly got up from her seat and turned towards the door.

"Brooke..." But as the last sound escaped his lips, she was already out the door.

She thought she'd be able to handle it; apparently she was wrong.

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A/N - Okay, I don't really like what I have here, but I didn't want you people to wait too long for it. And I don't think it's that bad, just not so good. Idk, let me know please.

Anyways, onto a small rant on Lindsey...because for those who don't know by now, I pretty much hate her. She's just so annoying to me, almost more so than Peyton. And it's weird because many people think only L/P fans hate Lindsey, but I hate L/P and I hate Lindsey, so yeah...lol. It's not even the fact that Lindsey has Lucas and Brooke doesn't, she's just so annoying and ugh, it's hard to explain.

And regarding Tuesday's epi, well, I felt bad a little bit when she was crying, but in the end I still hated her lol. And the song Peyton made for Lindsey was much better than the one Lindsey made for Peyton, in my opinion anyway lol.

But yeah, this season pretty much sucks. I want Brucas, not Lindsey and Lucas, not Pucas, BRUCAS!!

Leave your thoughts; review!!!! PLEASE! Thanks!

–Melissa