Chapter 9

Waking up this morning when my alarm sounded was hard. Last night I invited Tank over for pizza and a movie, when he was leaving he admitted to me that I was the other thing that made him happy when I asked him. We had talked about this a few weeks ago on our way to the building that we were going to be watching but we never got to finish the conversation and he never got to tell me what the thing was and because of what happened for him not to Tank closed himself off and has been a very hard nut to crack.

After Tank admitted what he had admitted to me he left, probably embarrassed that he let emotion show. I was in such a state of shock, so much so that I couldn't move out of my spot for a bit. I never would have guessed after all the years of hanging around him that I would have such an impact on the big man's life. He never ever showed any inkling of this to me or to anyone that I know of, I'm sure with how the office is someone would have said something or teased about it. I knew that he genually cared for me and kept me safe since they all seemed to believe I belonged to Ranger but I just figured it was because I was one of them and not something else entirely.

When I was finally able to move from my spot, I locked the door and pride filled my heart when I realized that he loved me and that I meant more to him than one of the guys. But what have I or had I done to make him feel this way about me? And that's why I am so tired, I spent a lot of time laying in bed feeling happy and thrilled and thinking about what he said but then a few moments passed and I was hurt and my heart fell when I remembered what Ranger had told me about being amusement and entertainment for his guys, was that what Tank had meant all along?

I laid there a few more minutes thinking about that and then finally forced myself to get up and dragged myself into the bathroom hoping a shower would help wake me up and feel better. After my shower, I dressed, did the girly thing, and left for work. As I pulled into my spot in the RangeMan garage, I sat there a minute getting a grip onto my feelings before I went up to my cubby. I didn't know what to expect when I got up on five, would Tank shy away from me because of what he said or would we just go about our day as if nothing was said?

I was conflicted, I wanted to believe that what he meant was that he really cared for me but I kept having this gnawing feeling in the back of my head that he didn't that I just made him happy because once again Stephanie had blown up a car or rolled in garbage. As the doors opened on the elevator I looked around the room trying to see if Tank was on deck as I stepped off onto the command room floor. Not seeing him, I turned around the corner on my way to my cubby and bumped into him and Ranger as they had came out of the kitchen carrying cups of coffee.

"Babe" Ranger said as his greeting of good morning

"Ranger" I said smiling back at him with the words that he had spoke to me so long ago rang in my head

I looked over at Tank and he nodded his head at me then quickly looked away. I took this as a good sign that he was embarrassed about last night and thought it probably did mean that he cared for me more than me just being some kind of amusement for him. I was gonna push all the bad thoughts about this away, go into denial until I knew for sure, and believe the good in Tank. Even though there is a lot I don't know about Tank, I do know that he's always right there by our sides and that he is an honorable man, so he wouldn't intentionally hurt me right?

When Tank and Ranger left for parts unknown, I made my way into the kitchen to grab me some breakfast and coffee. As I took my food back to my desk, I turned on my computer and watched as it booted up. I intentually looked thru the files that were in my inbox for the one that would take up the most time, that way I could start the search and as I was waiting for it to scan and print, I could sit there and eat. As I hit go on the search I picked out, I took a sip of my coffee and forked some egg stuff into my mouth. As I sat there, I remembered my love language book in my bag and fished it out to read as I sat there waiting on my search.

"Language number three Receiving Gifts" I said deciding to go ahead and move to the next language since quality time seemed to go so well. I believe I'll keep making the effort to hang around him some now since we did last night but it won't be that weird to him if I continue too, but I think I can go on in my quest to know Tank.

"if your partner's primary love language is receiving gifts, you can become a proficient gift giver, it is one of the easiest love languages to learn" I quietly read so no one could hear me "well good I'm all for easy" I said as I scanned the pages to get some ideas on how I could execute this one.

"Gifts can be purchased, found or made" it said "it also can be the gift of one's self"

"Hmmmm what could I do or get for Tank? I asked myself searching my brain

I sat back in my chair and thought but nothing came to mind. I didn't know what I could go out and buy Tank, because making something for him was out of the question. I caused my mother great pains for my inabilities as a homemaker and caused her to get out the iron because I was not good at making things or doing things like cooking and baking.

"Dammit this is supposed to be the easy one" I said huffing

"Beautiful you ok in there?" I heard Lester ask beside me

"Uhh yea" I said quickly hiding my book in my bag because I knew he would pop his head over my wall or he would come over and I didn't want everyone to know about the plan I was doing and if Lester found out that's exactly what would happen.

"What's supposed to be easy" he asked as he came around and leaned his body against my doorway

"Ohh just a gift I need for something. I have no idea what this person likes"

"Oh well I hate to go shopping, I guess that's why I don't ever do it" he said and I stuck my tongue out at him

"Smart ass"

"Just do what you girls do best go to the mall and walk around I'm sure something will pop up for you"

I hated to admit it but that was what it looked like I was going to have to do. I wanted to give Tank something but I also didn't want it to be stupid. I wanted him to be surprised and know that it was special just for him and that I took the time to look around and get it for him. I wanted him to feel loved and cared about and that it was me that cared and loved him.

"I'll go tonight after work" I said and then my search dinged letting me know it was ready for me to read through.

"Whelp I know that sound so I'll let you get to your work" Les said as he pushed off my doorway

"Yea, yea" I sighed as Les walked back over to his desk to do whatever he was doing. "Looks like I have a date with the mall" I said as I began scrolling down the page on my computer.