"NO!"

"Whoa, man!" Milque stood in front of me. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Where is she?" I gasped, taking in my surroundings. I was back in the hospital on the citadel, in a room that was similar to Captain Toni's. I shook my head and covered my face with my hands. Anger swelled inside me until I could no longer restrain it. "Fuck!" My entire body glowed with blue biotic energy as I slammed my fists against the hospital bed.

The biotic force threw Milque to the other side of the room and he landed with a crash. "Shit!" he groaned.

"I can't take this anymore. My head's playing fucking mind games with me." I looked across the room to see Milque hoist himself back up from the floor. "Sorry, Milque. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"I figured you didn't," he shrugged, rubbing his now bruised shoulder. "Was it a dream?"

"Yeah. It was her birthday and we were at the beach. It was as if she never died and then she…" I couldn't finish describing the dream. I didn't want to relive it.

Milque shook his head. "I'm sorry. Look, you really need to do something to distract your mind from this shit. You're dwelling on it so much, it's unhealthy. All you do is drink and never eat so no wonder you're passing out all over the place."

"I cut back on drinking, asshole, and I only passed out that one time at the bar. Why am I in this fucking bed anyway?"

"Like I said," Milque sighed, rolling his eyes. "You were in the elevator heading toward the docks and when the doors opened I found you unconscious. Doc checked you out and said you were fine. He said you could rest here until you felt good to go."

"Damn. Last thing I remember was feeling a bad migraine coming on." I eased out of the bed, still feeling lightheaded. "Let's get out of here. I'd like to avoid running into Claire again."

Milque laughed humorlessly. "Why? She seems like a nice girl. Just because she likes you doesn't mean you have to be a dick to her."

I glared at him. "Don't start."

"No, you need to stop trying to dismiss this conversation. I've watched you suffer over a year now." Milque stepped closer to me and pointed a finger in my chest. "I stopped talking you into moving on because I thought you would eventually get there in your own time, but you're not even fucking trying. It's pathetic. You think Shepard would want you to be like this?"

My eyes flared as biotic energy pulsed through me again. "You have no idea what she would-"

"I may not have known her personally, but I've looked up to her for a long time and I think I know her well enough to say she wouldn't want you giving up your life like this. She's gone. Face it. Sure, she'll always have a place in your heart. You don't have to forget about her, but it's time to move on. You want to go out with Claire, do it! If not, then that's fine too. But don't be a fucking asshole to everybody and make everyone around you miserable just because you can't stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself."

My rage subsided as I let the reality of his words sink in. As much as I wanted to defend myself, I couldn't deny everything he said was true. We were silent for a while until Milque placed his hand on my shoulder. It seemed he knew what I was thinking.

"Come on, man," he said. "Let's get out of here."

I nodded and we left the hospital, not saying another word.