A/N: Hi all. Sorry for the wait, but here you go. Chapter 10 is finally up. Thanks again for all your reviews. Hope you enjoy it. xxx

Chapter 10 - Grief

BPOV

Sobs wracked Bella's body as she lay in bed, crying. Not because Paul pushed her away, but because she was grieving about the loss of their baby for the first time. There was never time to deal with her emotions back then. It was studying and work almost twenty-four-seven. She regretted not telling Paul. He had the right to know. She was such a fucking stupid little girl.

Bella sat up in anger and threw a pillow at the mirror. She couldn't look at herself. The image of her blotchy, tear stained face disgusted her. "Fucking coward!" Bella shouted at herself and sniffled her snot back into her stuffy, red nose. She wiped her tears from her cheeks, one at a time, with the absent lift of her shoulders.

She couldn't blame Paul for his reaction. She would give him all the time he needed. She just hoped he would forgive her. It seemed that every time she thought they were finally out of the woods, there were just more monsters lurking close by. Something else to derail them. She wondered if they were even meant for each other? Or was she just hanging on to something that was never meant to be? Were they fighting fate by trying to be together?

There was a knock on the door. Bella knew it wasn't Paul. She contemplated not answering the door and pulled the covers over her head. Maybe she would eventually run out of air and suffocate...

At the second, more determined knock, Bella lifted her tired body from the bed and padded down to the front door. She didn't even wipe her face. Hopefully the image of her would scare away any unwanted visitors.

"Mom?" Bella asked in surprise. She wasn't expecting her mother. Would Leah have told her mom about what happened? Probably...

"Honey, have you been crying?" Her mother frowned and stroked a thumb under one of Bella's eyes.

"Where's dad?" Bella asked in a thin voice.

"He's watching the game with Billy and Harry. What happened?" Reneé cocked her head, assessing her intently.

Bella started to sob bitterly, resting her chin on her mother's shoulder as she was pulled in for a tight hug.

"Shhh." Her mother soothed. "Let's go inside." She grabbed Bella by the shoulders, turned her around and gently pushed her back in the direction of the kitchen. "I'll make us some tea and then we can talk."

Bella simply nodded. She wiped her tears and followed her mother to the kitchen. Bella tried but failed to feel ashamed at the condition her kitchen was in. Empty ice cream cartons were piled onto the kitchen counter. Dirty glasses, mugs and plates were stacked in the sink, balancing precariously. It was a wonder they haven't tipped over yet. Bella shrugged her shoulders to no one in particular, sniffed juicily and looked away. She didn't give a fuck right now.

Bella watched in silence as her mother made the tea. She was glad to have someone to talk to.

"Now..." Her mother said as they sat down together on the couch, each with a steaming cup of milky tea in hand, "Tell me what happened."

Bella hesitated for a moment. "God, mom. I don't even know where to begin." She sighed.

"Try telling me from the start." Her mother encouraged.

With a sip of her tea, Bella dived into the story, telling her mother everything that happened from the miscarriage to Paul asking for some time to think. All the while, her mother sat silently, just listening. If her mother was shocked, she hid it well. All Bella saw on her mother's face was tenderness and understanding - something that Bella needed desperately.

"Oh, honey." Reneé spoke gently. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through this all alone. I wish I knew so that I could have been there to support you."

"I know I should have told you. I should have told Paul as well. I was such a stupid girl back then. Selfish."

"You were young, yes, but never stupid or selfish. You were scared." Reneé countered.

"The worst part is that I gave Paul up so easily back then, because I thought I knew what I wanted. Turns out that everything I wanted I left behind in Forks. I'm thirty two and I have nothing to show for it."

"Of course you do, baby girl. Your priorities are just different now. And it's not like you're ninety years old. There is still time for you to get what you really want."

"It just feels like Paul and I hit a wall every time things go well between us." She sipped on her sweet tea, sighing. Bella stared off blankly.

"Paul loves you. He just needs time, like he said. I promise you that everything is going to be fine. Just don't keep anymore secrets from him. He needs you to trust him enough to tell him everything. I think he's so afraid of getting hurt again."

"That's exactly what my secrets did, Mom. It hurt him."

"Just be patient with him, Bella. I'm sure he'll come around. Paul has never been unreasonable."

PPOV

Paul felt like he was going crazy. It had been four days since Bella broke the news about the miscarriage and he needed someone to talk to. He was afraid to tell Jared, because of the pack mind. Not that he thought Jared would let it slip on purpose, but he wasn't going to take any chances. This wasn't something he wanted everyone to know about and he doubted that Bella felt any different about it. He had avoided his friends all week, keeping himself busy. Bella hadn't made contact with him, which frustrated him a little, but she was doing what he asked her to. She was giving him time.

That was how he found himself in front of his parents house. He was going to talk to his mother about this. She was a woman and hopefully she'd have some insight into the subject. He had tried to work through it himself, but he was coming up empty.

Paul knocked on the door and waited. He heard soft footsteps approach the front door. He knew it was his mother.

"Hi, honey." His mother greeted him with a big smile. "This is a lovely surprise."

"I probably should have called first to let you guys know I was coming."

"Of course not. You know you're always welcome." His mother ushered him inside and shut the door. Paul walked to the living room where his father was busy watching sports. He looked up and smiled at his only child, but his smile faltered at Paul's miserable expression. His father was a quiet man, but he was an observer. A listener. Those sharp eyes missed nothing.

"What's wrong?" His dad asked.

Paul sighed as he took a seat on the couch opposite his father. His mother joined her father, with a serious look on her face. Paul scratched his head awkwardly as he thought about how he was going to say what he needed to.

"I need to talk to you guys. This isn't something that other people can know about. It's very personal." He stared at each of his parents in turn, pleading.

"We're listening." His mother nodded for him to continue.

"Bella told me on Sunday that she had a miscarriage years ago, just before we broke up. She kept it a secret from me for all these years and now I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can trust her again."

"Wow." His mother sighed. It was probably a lot for her to digest, but he knew she wouldn't judge him, or Bella for that matter.

He watched silently as his mother thought about what to say.

"That must have been tough for her to go through. Does her mother know about this?"

"As far as I know she only confided in Leah."

"I can't imagine what that poor girl must have gone through on her own. She must have been scared out of her mind."

"If she'd told me, I could have been there for her. That's how it should have been." Paul jumped up in anger, hands fisted at his sides. "Dammit, Mom! That was my child too! A part of me. We both lost a baby. I just didn't know about it."

His mother opened her mouth to say something. He knew what she was going to say, so he stopped her. "I know I sound harsh, Mother. I get that the experience was worse for her. She physically went through the whole ordeal, but I wanted to be the one she trusted. She was the woman I'd planned on marrying. Now it all feels like it meant nothing to her."

"Oh honey. You know she loved you. She still loves you. That much is obvious. She told you so herself." His mother sighed and gave him a sympathetic smile. "I don't pretend to understand why she kept it from you and I'm not saying what she did was right, but maybe it was her way of coping."

Paul covered his face with his hands and groaned. He felt so fucking frustrated. On the one hand he was disappointed in Bella. Mad as all hell. She made him feel unworthy. In his mind it belittled the feelings they'd shared. On the other hand, she was his imprint. He loved her like no other and he had a choice to make. His mother knew it as well and she told him so, too.

"The beauty of the type of love you share, is that you get to choose to forgive her. Or not. But that is for you to decide."

"You're right, Mom. You're always right. Thank you." Paul said. He leaned over and kissed his mother on the cheek. He patted his dad on the back. His father had been quiet throughout the whole conversation and simply wished him luck with the decision he needed to make.

BPOV

Bella almost didn't go on the trip. What was the use? All parties involved, except for Seth, were couples. They would all be in separate chalets and she wasn't sure how things would go if she and Paul were stuck together, alone. Awkward would be one way to describe the situation. Leah had talked her into going and that was how she found herself next to her best friend in the car, on the way to Portland. She nervously chewed on a thumb nail.

Leah looked over at her with a serious expression on her beautiful face. "Listen Bella. I'm going to be honest with you. Either you and Paul finally break it off, or you get your fucking shit together, but Jesus, just do something. The suspense is killing all of us. The two of you tiptoeing around each other this week has had everyone on edge. We are all rooting for you guys to get back together, but if you don't, at least just make the decision and get it over with."

Bella was shocked. She knew her friend was a straight shooter, but this was brutal honesty coming from her.

Bella blew out a breath. "I know and I'm sorry. I was just trying to give Paul his space. I'll talk to him tonight."

"Good." Kim piped up from the back seat.

Bella's nerves were shot. She didn't know how she would react when she saw Paul. The bigger question though, was how he would react? Would he finally forgive her, or would this be just another miserable weekend, where she would be stuck with the man that she loved, who ignored her completely?

It was the longest four-and-a-half-hour drive ever. She wanted to sort things out between them once and for all, but the road just didn't seem to end.

Leah had some up beat music playing in the car, but it did nothing to improve Bella's sour mood. She wished she hadn't come along. She should have stayed home with Ben and Jerry. They were excellent company. She hated this heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Bella turned her face to stare out of the window, hopefully the view would calm her nerves and take her mind off of what lay ahead.

The scene from the window did calm her. In fact, it lulled her into a light sleep for which she was thankful, because when she opened her eyes again, Leah was parking her car at reception.

Bella's stomach was full of butterflies. Not the good kind. It was nerves and dread all mixed together. She got out of the car to stretch her stiff and sore muscles groaned in protest. She didn't see Paul get out from the car that had stopped just in front of them. Maybe he was still avoiding her. She followed Leah, Kim and Aylen up the steps to the reception area. It was a small log cabin, brightly lit with a small fire burning in the fire place. A beautiful older woman smiled and welcomed them. Sam and Quil joined them and they listened as the receptionist explained the rules to them and handed them their room keys. They were supposed to be out by ten o' clock on Sunday morning. They thanked the woman and headed for their respective vehicles.

Leah let Sam lead the way in his truck, and then followed behind them. One more car took off after them, containing some of her other friends. They were too big of a group to only take two vehicles.

It was a short ride to the cabins. It was beautiful. They were in the woods. It was drizzling now and the snow was starting to melt. The trees formed a canopy above them, blocking out the moonlight that would provided some light. The only illumination came from inside the cabins, which were spaced out in a semi circle. There were logs placed in a circle in fronts of the cabins, where they could make a bonfire and a pile of wood was stacked to the side. Bella doubted that they would all be sitting outside tonight. It was simply too wet.

The guys were busy chatting, none of them in a hurry. They seemed so relaxed. Paul was laughing at something Quil said and didn't look her way once. She decided that she would take this time to unpack her bags, so she headed into the cabin she was going to share with Paul. Bella was surprised to find the cabin cozy and warm. A welcoming fire was already cracking in a small fire place. Everything was perfect, until Bella realized that there was only one bed. She sighed. She supposed she would take the pull out couch. Paul was simply too large to sleep comfortably on it.

Bella piled her pillows and blankets neatly on the couch and headed to the bathroom to unpack her toiletries. She focused on one task at a time to keep herself from going crazy. The suspense was simply too much.

When Bella finally zipped up her bag after unpacking her clothes, she stowed it under the king size bed and decided that she was going to make herself some cocoa.

Paul still hadn't come in when Bella padded toward the kitchen. She huffed in frustration. It was so obvious that he was avoiding her.

She grabbed her book and cocoa and headed to the couch, snuggling under a fluffy blanket. She shivered involuntarily. The fire was slowly burning out and soon the cabin would be freezing. Bella promised herself to that she would throw another log or two on the fire once she finished her cocoa.

Halfway into the fifth page of her book, the cabin door opened and Paul entered. His hair was glistening from the rain and his hoodie was wet. It must have started raining harder. This was probably the reason why he came in. She wondered how long he would have tried to avoid her if it wasn't for the rain.

"Hi." He greeted her. His dark eyes were narrowed as he spotted her on the couch.

"Hey." Bella replied, trying to sound casual and succeeded. She looked back down at her book, pretending to read, while her heart beat wildly and her mind reeled.

Paul dropped his bag in the living room and eyed the cabin. Bella cast a glance at Paul and found his eyes on her. She closed the book and set it down on the table, along with her empty mug. She cocked her head to the side, trying to assess his mood. He seemed nervous or uncomfortable. She wasn't sure which. God. This ridiculously beautiful man had a way of messing with her mind, body and emotions in a way that astounded her.

"So..." Paul began.

Bella arched an eyebrow. "So." She shot back at him. She'd apologized enough. It was time for him to either forgive her or finally let her go.

This week had given her time to forgive herself and finally think about the baby they had lost. She was done hating herself. She was done grieving. She had cried her eyes out and even confided in her mother. Her grieving period might have been short, but there was no sense in dwelling on things that happened years ago. She supposed there was a reason that their baby wasn't meant to be.

A/N: Little bit of a cliffy. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review. The story is slowly coming to an end, but you are welcome to let me know if you still feel something is missing from the story that you want to see happen. xxx