Even facing away from him, she knows how close he stands. The heat between their bodies reminds her of purple-skied late afternoons in the Jakku sun, and she turns, drawn to his warmth. His fingers graze down her arm and she watches his face, willing herself to remember every detail of this moment. The sweet tease of rough fingertips against her skin, his breath beginning to mingle with her own, the way he watches his touch against her so carefully. He doesn't immediately look up, but when he does, his eyes seem to glow.

If he hadn't closed the distance between them, she would have.

His lips are soft against her and she follows his lead, head already swimming. She's lost in him, her hands wrapping around his neck as he pulls her close. She opens her mouth to allow him more access and he sweeps his tongue against her bottom lip. She sucks the tip before he pulls back, and his quietly guttural groan makes her shiver. Their combined need for each other flows through the bond, heightening their senses and they move faster together, more intense. Suddenly he's moving them, moving her backwards, but she keeps kissing him, doesn't care at all where he takes them, just don't stop. She's backed against her desk and he picks her up so she's sitting on top, spreads her legs so he stands between them, flush against her center. She feels him, his growing hardness, grinds forward instinctively. He grasps her face with one hand, another snakes around her waist to pull her closer and he rests his hand at her lower back. He kisses, sucks, their tongues clashing, battling for entry and dominance. He backs away only long enough to go lower so he can kiss her where her jaw and neck meet. She gasps for breath, and he travels down, sucking and kissing everywhere he touches. Her hands pull his hair at the root and his mouth comes back as she intended, crashes over hers. Her hands fist in his locks and she feels warmth pool through her lower abdomen. Both his hands are around her hips, fingers digging into the flesh. She wraps her legs around him. Closer, Gods, closer. He can't get close enough.

He pulls away, leans his forehead against hers, and they catch their breath inches apart. Their consciousnesses are blended together so tightly it takes a moment to distinguish where one ends and the other begins.

They open their eyes together, and she sees him smile for the first time. Her heart can't take his blinding joy flooding her senses.

She leans forward, gently presses her lips against his, and then she's pecking his cheek, his jaw, feeling the shortest hint of stubble. He raises his chin and she's mimicking his ministrations on her neck, finding a particularly sensitive spot just below his adam's apple. His fingers tighten and relax on her thighs, and she knows he's making himself stay still, allowing her the time she needs to explore. She pulls him close and their arms wrap around each other. He leans his head into the crevice between her head and shoulder and she relaxes into him.

"Come to me," he whispers against her skin. "I need you. I can protect you. You aren't safe there. Join me. Please."

If she had taken his hand…

"I want to," she whispers back. Rey realizes how true her words are after they're said. She wants to. She feels his hope climb and he pulls back, looks her in the eye.

"But?"

"I need time," she says quietly. "I can't just leave them-"

"Yes," he interrupts, fire in his eyes. "you can. You can steal an x-wing right now and meet me anywhere in the galaxy. You can leave them."

Reality crashes around Rey and she remembers everything in Leia's quarters she had managed to push far away from her mind. She thinks of Poe in this room, begging her to tell him the truth.

Ben yanks away from her and she's cold, all alone.

"You think of him? NOW?"

"Don't yell at me," she hears herself beg. No, not now. His same fury from the red throne room rears its head through the glare he's shooting her. "Please, come here-"

"You'll always pick them over me, won't you? Your precious Resistance," he bursts, all his emotion pouring out of him into their bond. She starts to feel crushed by the weight of his despair, his fear at the return of unending loneliness. "You can't let go. Goddammit, I should have known-"

No, I didn't mean anything like that, she sends. He isn't listening, lost in the chaos inside him.

"Ben, it's not like that. Come back to me."

"NO! I trusted you! I let myself believe- and you just-"

Rey jumps off the table, runs to him, wraps her arms around his waist. She feels him strain against her for a moment, but she squeezes tighter. He's frozen before he sags against her touch, enveloping her in his arms. She feels safe, protected, loved-

She feels loved.

"I need time," she repeats. His chin rests on the top of her head.

"I don't know that I can give you that," he says in soft anger. It's not a refusal; he sounds like he's admitting a point of weakness. "I can't let them hurt you."

"I don't think they will."

"But you aren't sure."

They stand together, and she hears his strong heartbeat beneath her ear.

"No, I'm not sure. But if I have to leave, I need to say goodbye. I can't abandon them without saying goodbye."

She thinks of the cruiser fleeing Jakku's surface, her tiny arm crushed by Plutt's enormous slime-covered appendage. She remembers screaming, crying, begging them to come back.

Ben hugs her tighter.

"Twenty-four hours. That's all I'll allow. Say your goodbyes, but after that, your place is with me."

She sighs against him. One day cycle.

"If I think of something to tell them, something they'll believe about the datapad-"

"Rey. Please. If you don't come to me, I'll be forced to come to you."

"That's not fair," she says while pulling away to look at his face. "Either I come to you or you kill my friends?"

"I won't harm anyone that doesn't try to keep you from me. I can meet you on Cofek-Ta somewhere far from the insurgents. I don't have to kill anyone. I'd… I don't want to cause you pain. But if you stay, they won't leave you alone until you tell them everything. I can't sit back while you're in danger."

She considers this and only feels genuine worry from him. He's not thinking of turning the tide in the war, or how he could use her. He wants her safe, by his side.

Cofek-Ta.

"You know where we are," she says slowly.

"I've known for months," he admits. He's confirmed her suspicions, but instead of feeling dread she's simply curious.

"How?"

"I need to teach you more effective mind protection techniques."

"You haven't done anything, despite knowing?"

He waits before answering.

"I didn't want to force your hand. I wanted you to want to join me."

She sighs again. She can't fight him anymore.

"Twenty-four hours. Okay, Ben. Okay."

He leans towards her and kisses her sweetly. The world disappears around them.

"I have to go. Be safe."

She nods her head, and keeps her eyes closed as his arms around her disappear.

One day cycle, to abandon everyone she loves.

Almost everyone.