Quick Note

Pretty soon, I start adding things that never turned up in the show (extra character backgrounds, mainly), so don't read it and think, now where'd that come from? BTW, for when they finally come back in, everything that happens to the main group of Losties in Season 3 HAS happened, eg, Eko dying, Hurley finding a car, making a ping pong table… except Sawyer and Kate weren't there.

helen-antithesis: Wow, thanks! This is my first fic, so I've had three seasons to get to know the characters pretty well. I try and put their voices in my head as they talk on the page, to try and hear how's they'd say things.

NYR88: glad you like fluff, but really, did you think it would last?

Hellmouth20: Aw shucks. Somehow I knew you'd all love that bit… I don't care if the review is long, keep em coming, mate!

EnderVictorious: Oh, okay, cool :-). But feedback is nice, and it means I can more accurately give you what you want.

Chapter Ten

Juliet felt a chill spread through her body, watching Jack and Kate on the monitor. She felt her own body respond to the sight, and a surge of jealousy ran through her. When Jack got up, and suggested a muffin, a dangerous darkness began to creep through her. It felt like he knew she was there, and was rubbing it in her face.

She knew Jack would have turned to her, if Kate wasn't there. He had started to, when she was first getting to know him, but as soon as he saw Kate, he was by her side… Juliet paused. If Kate wasn't there, would Jack come back to her?

She turned away from the monitor. But Ben wanted Kate alive, not only to keep Jack complacent, but in case she was pregnant. She couldn't physically move Kate, but perhaps she could destroy her emotionally… ruin all her new found trust in Jack. If Kate felt Jack had betrayed her, she was likely to turn away from him. And when he saw she wasn't interested… Juliet smiled.

After lunch, Jack had to go out again. He wouldn't say where, and Kate didn't press him. Once more, she was bored. She strolled past the bookshelf, pulling a book out at random, though she wasn't a very avid reader. She almost dropped the paperback in shock. She was holding a copy of Watership Down, the book Sawyer had read so long ago. She pushed it back between two hard covers, her fingers trembling.

It scared her, that something so innocent as choosing a book could remind her of Sawyer in such a strong way. She thought about her kiss - two kisses, in fact - with Jack, and felt her stomach clench. How could she be kissing him, when she'd slept with Sawyer less than a week ago? It felt abominably disrespectful.

She didn't go near the CDs either, worried that something in there might trigger a flashback of Sawyer. She went back to the bedroom she had claimed as her own, and flopped down on the bed. It was so soft, she had thought when she first tested it. A real mattress, sheets, a pillow… now, as she felt the springs bend under her weight, she was worried it might be too much.

Taking anything from these people felt humiliating, but there was nothing she could do. She watched light shadows flit across the ceiling, and wondered what had become of her life. She was a prisoner, trapped inside this house. They'd made it seem like a miniature paradise for her, but it was just an elaborately decorated prison. It was enough to send her mad.

And this was only day one.

Night fell over the village, and Jack still hadn't come back. Kate considered cooking something for dinner, but had never been any good with meals, and decided not to. She checked out the cupboard in her room. It contained a variety of skimpy tops, some jeans, and a few dresses. She chose one of the more practical shirts and headed for the shower.

She spent a while under the hot water, the pressure beating down on her. She sighed with pleasure. She made sure to lock the bathroom door, in case Jack came back while she was still in here.

He didn't. She dried off, and changed into the fresh shirt and jeans, and lay back down on the bed. She wondered if Jack was okay. She could hear vague noises outside, but the walls were pretty solid.

She wondered briefly why she wasn't hungry. She didn't feel unwell, just that she didn't need to eat. She assumed it was just an effect of eating so little lately - her stomach had shrunk.

Her thoughts drifted freely, not really holding onto any subject, just letting the faces of the past ripple past her. All her friends back at the beach… Sawyer and Jack… Tom and Kevin… her mother, and the two men she could call father - one who acted like it, and the other who was a part of her.

Sometime later, she fell asleep, her thoughts still filled with her past and the people in it.

Jack woke up, feeling something was wrong. He had come back to the house several hours after night fell. He'd been researching the medical properties of different herbs Juliet had found growing on the island - the statistics were staggering, and he'd been fully absorbed in what he was doing. Thoughts of Kate, and the kiss they had shared, were driven from his mind. She'd already been asleep when he came back, and he'd been careful not to wake her.

Now, he sat up in the soft bed, trying to see what was happening. The house was dark, but he could see something at the end of his bed…

He slowly reached out an arm, and flipped on the lamp situated next to the bed. Kate was standing in the doorway, her body stiff, her eyes wide.

"Kate? What's… Kate, hello?" Jack stared at her. She was looking straight through him.

"They're going to kill him!" she cried suddenly, and Jack jumped out of bed, coming towards her slowly. "You have to stop them, they're going to kill Sawyer!" she said, her voice catching, and still she didn't move.

Jack caught on quickly from there.

"Kate, wake up, it's alright. Look at me, Kate!" And slowly, her head turned to look at him, but her eyes were blank, and unseeing. He doubted she would remember this when she woke up.

"Jack?" she whispered. Something he said must have reached her, as he stretched out a hand. He caught hold of her arm, ready to jump back if it looked like she was going to hit him again.

"Calm down, Kate," he said, and for a moment, everything was still. Then, she pulled her arm away so fast, he almost fell over, and when he regained his balance, she was looking at him with pure terror in her eyes. It was more than fear - it was the expression of someone who had everything to lose.

"No!" she shrieked, and tried to step back, but hit the wall. This seemed to upset her further, and he tried to reach out for her again, but this time she fought back, trying to scratch at his arms and face. "I won't let you… I'll do whatever you want, anything! No! I'll be good, I promise, let me out!"

Jack stepped back, seriously worried now. Then she slowly closed her eyes, and he just managed to catch her before she hit the floor. He turned, and laid her down on his bed, pulling the covers up. Then he turned, knowing he wasn't going to be able to sleep for a while after that little scene. He stopped in the doorway, and looked back at her, now sleeping peacefully.

"Oh, Kate," he sighed. "What did you do?"

Jack couldn't help but spend the rest of the night walking around the kitchen wondering why this had happened so suddenly. She'd never mentioned sleepwalking before, and she certainly hadn't done it at any time since the crash.

And what had she said? The first part had been about Sawyer, she'd said his name for certain, but after that… that had been something else.

And what was worst, she wouldn't let him in. Every time her tried to make her open up, to talk to him, she cold-shouldered him, and if he pushed too hard, she would break down completely. He knew he hadn't made it easy some of the time, making snappy bites at her fugitive status, telling her he didn't know what she was capable of, yelling at her…

Why couldn't she see he just wanted to help her? That was what he had spent his life doing - what he still did - and seeing her coldness made him want to bring her out of herself. She was lost inside her past, and everything that happened to her buried it deeper and deeper. He found himself comparing it to an injury - an infection caused by something buried under the skin. Left untreated, it becomes harder and harder to remove the object, and the infection spreads, poisoning the blood.

Kate rarely let herself get over anything, Jack realised. She would bury the hurt, keep it away by pretending not to feel it. Something today must have triggered the nightmare, he thought. The kiss? Being alone all day? Something else, which she hadn't been able to tell him about because he'd come home so late?

And now… when she couldn't stop herself, it was brought back up. He felt that if she would open up, actually talk to him, he might be able to help. But after refusing her first offer, she wouldn't tell him why she was on the run… and he thought it safe to presume the hurt started there.

He glanced at the clock; 4:50. It was a habit he was falling back into, structuring his life around what time it was. On the beach, depending on firelight at night, it didn't really matter what the time was. It was either light enough to do something, or dark enough to go to sleep.

Sighing, he knew he wasn't going back to sleep any time soon. He inspected the coffee jar, acknowledging the benefits the Others had over his people. Though, he wondered, could he still call them 'his people'? It wasn't like he really ever told them what to do, and he'd been gone so long… nearly two weeks. And now he was working for the Others. Did that make him one of them?

He made himself a cup of coffee, as strong as he thought he could stand it. He sighed at the slightly bitter taste, and felt warmer, both inside and out. He'd talk to Kate in the morning, he decided. And if he thought he could get both him and Kate out of here safely… would he do it? Of course! was his first thought, then he remembered the deal he'd made with Ben. They'd let Kate go if he stayed. He had agreed to stay… he didn't want to break a deal, but then again, he had been blackmailed into it.

Jack's mind began to spin, stewing over everything that had happened, everything he wanted to change…