Chapter Nine has arrived, and is looking quite fine! See how many pop culture references you can find this time. ;)
Chapter Nine: Vocal Extract-O-Matic 2001
A lime-green haired Portal Summoner named Frank wandered into the men's locker room. He opened what appeared to be his locker, when a wet mass of toddler toys and a mobile burst towards his face. He started screaming for help, and it was not long before the hazmat suited figures rushed to the scene with their toy detectors, shouting out into their walkie-talkies, "2319! 2319!". One agent even had a miniature force field on hand to activate for the cleansing process.
Meanwhile, in the hallway, James still carried Mariko, following the sound of Randall's muttering. He eventually found a hallway with an unusual relief carving on it, on which Randall pulled a lever, and it admitted him in. Once James was able to catch up, he could not tell which lever Randall had activated. Mariko got off his arm, and pulled the left lever. However, that one was labeled "Sarlacc Pit", and it dropped James through a secret trap-door.
"Try the other one!" James called out.
The little girl struggled to swing toward the right lever. James returned just in time to help her as he shook off a Sarlacc tooth caught in his jeans. After sending his lightsaber back to his locker via telekinesis, James helped Mariko pull down the right lever, which flung them in forcefully into what turned out to be a roller coaster with an Incan Empire theme. James managed to properly seat the girl in the car as he lowered the safety bar.
"Please remain seated, and keep your arms, hands, legs, and feet inside the vehicle at all times," an intercom voice announced.
Before they knew it, the roller coaster had begun with a speeding steep drop, and then progressed at over 120 miles per hour through various twists, turns, and loops, some of which were decorated with Peruvian-style animal face gates; all in a predominantly purple color scheme with some hints of blue and soft magenta. Mariko clapped and chuckled, while James was trying to hold on for dear life due to the high speed of the ride. The attraction then finished with a downward spiraling vortex of snake-like tracks, which sent James and Mariko flying out of the car and towards the floor, now dressed up in lab coats and science goggles.
"Uh," James was confused.
Mariko nodded her small head in disagreement as well.
The pair shed their lab coats and goggles, and then ran towards a labyrinth of giant pipes that seemed to be the factory's main heating system. They could overhear voices talking; the echoes reverberating off the metal pipes.
"So, have her, you do?"
"Of course I got her Fungus!"
"Oh, huzzah!"
Jeffrey and Randall were having a private conversation which James decided to eavesdrop on. They looked and saw the two opening the canisters and pulling out a giant box.
"Finally, I will earn my honor," Randall muttered to himself as if he were a prince banished from his own nation, and had just fulfilled an impossible quest to gain his honor back. However, he struggled to carry the box.
"Is it just me, or does this kid weigh like a couch potato passenger from a futuristic cruiseliner or something like that?" Randall inquired as Jeffrey helped him.
As soon as they unloaded the box, however, out tumbled Michael, much to their surprise. He landed perfectly in the seat.
"Wazowski!" Randall was shocked, "Where is it, you little one-eyed creh-tin?!"
"Actually, it's CREE-tin," Michael corrected, "And if you're going to threaten me, you better do it properly."
Randall folded his arms and grunted. He tapped his foot as Jeffrey was writing down some notes, and re-adjusting some joysticks on a control panel.
"Come on!" Michael started off, "Why don't we talk about this? We could sit down to some lattes."
"Like that's really gonna do anything for me, Wazowski," Randall scowled.
"Well, if you really think that kidnapping me is gonna help you cheat your way to the top—" Michael blurted out, until Randall cackled at the remark.
"You really think this is about that stupid Energy Harvesting record?" Randall formed his hand into a fist as he spoke, but then released it as he calmed himself down.
"Well, yeah," began Michael, "until, you know, you, laughed, like that, and, well..."
"Nonsense," Randall purred in a deceivingly comforting tone as he tapped Michael's nose playfully. He then strapped the green-haired one's hands onto the seat, and twirled around, dancing his way up a metal staircase that led to the overhead railing platform overlooking the scene, signaling Jeffrey with a snap of his fingers. Once he had blended into the soft blue light illuminating the space, Jeffrey began to push some buttons on his control panel, and pulled a small lever on the side.
"Um, wha—what's that noise?" Michael began to panic, "What's that big thing coming at me?"
A loud, rumbling noise could be heard as a large machine descended down from the ceiling, being lowered by an extendable pole. Red lights flashed on the sides of the strange mechanism, and what sounded like a "sliding down" noise against the support pole could be heard by Michael (even though nothing visible appeared to slide down the device, anyway).
What is that monstrosity? Michael was terrified by the peculiar machine.
The machine was now set in place. A behemoth of metal sat in front of Michael, resembling a giant laser rifle or cannon, with a nozzle about the size of his mouth directly positioned facing his face. Randall reappeared, this time posed on top of the machine, laying down on his stomach, straddling the invention with his knees, and stroking the nozzle as he lifted his head to look at Michael in the eye.
"Wazowski," Randall began, "Say hello to the Vocal Extract-O-Matic 2001."
Jeffrey then pulled down a large lever switch on the wall, illuminating a neon sign that read "Vocal Extract-O-Matic 2001!" positioned right over his master.
"Uh, hello," Michael spoke to the machine.
Randall slithered off the hulking mechanism and slinked his way up to Michael. A grin appeared across his perfect face as he placed a hand on Michael's green-haired head.
"This invention is designed to collect 15 times more screams that a single Energy Harvester can in one day," he explained, stroking one of Michael's horns with his thumb, "With this machine, why do I need to worry about the scare record? I guarantee you, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working for me, and also kissing both my feet and the ground I grace!"
Michael remained speechless as Randall walked over to the machine, and started adjusting some of the knobs and switches. In an instant, the nozzle of the machine started advancing slowly towards Michael's mouth.
"Um, Randall?" Michael grew nervous, "That thing is coming towards me. Can it please stop coming towards me?!"
Randall only stood there; his hands on his hips as a devious grin crossed his lips. Fungus sat at the control panel, looking on. Behind some pipes, James and Mariko watched the scene unfold; the polka-dotted haired man in particular in surprise and shock.
I have to report this to Mr. Waternoose! James thought to himself, Unfortunately, he's busy with that city emergency speech right now, and I don't know what the rest of his schedule for today.
Outside in the main lobby, Mr. Waternoose was being recorded by newscasters as he was giving a speech to the city officials, managers, and some of the workers and other directors at the power plant. One in particular with amphibian features and a strange accent stepped up, and made an announcement after the Vice Chair of M. Energy Incorporated recognized him.
"In response to the direct threat to Kaiju City," the city representative began, "Mesa propose that the City Council give immediately emergency powers to the CEO."
Everyone started applauding at the decision, cheering, "Waternoose! Watenoose!"
"It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling," Mr. Waternoose started off, "I love democracy... I love the Republic. But I am mild by nature, and I do not desire to see the destruction of democracy. The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated, I promise you. And as my first act with this new authority, I will create a grand army of Kaiju City to counter the threat of the Earth child."
Everyone applauded again. Mr. Waternoose appeared anxious and distraught, but the ghost of a smile also crossed his face.
"Ok, Boo-chan!" James whispered to Mariko, "Stay put right here. I'm going to go find the connection to the machine so I can unplug it and save Mike."
Mariko nodded in agreement and sat down. James snuck around the back, looking carefully to see if the machine had a connection, and where exactly was it plugged. He climbed around some pipes, and eventually found the outlet where about ten thick plugs were all jumbled together. Without any hesitation, James reached with his powerful hands, and with all the muscle in his biceps, pulled out all the cords in one attempt.
Just as the nozzle was less than a millimeter from Michael's face, the machine retracted and stopped altogether.
"Fungus? What just happened?!" Randall grew angry, tapping his foot as he folded his arms across his chest. James was able to unlock the restraints placed on Michael, and pulled his from the seat. As Randall scampered about, looking to restore the connection, Michael managed to throw Jeffrey into the seat and restrain him there. He then ran towards the control panel and adjusted the settings all to the highest levels. The two then picked up Mariko and ran for the exit that would lead them back into the hallway.
"Fungus!" Randall started off as he strolled down the metal stairs, "I got it up and running again, and— AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
The machine was operating on Jeffrey, who had turned a pale cream color, and his lips were swollen so red to the point that he looked as if he got a lip lift gone wrong. He fell out of the seat and into a small tub of water.
"Fungus!" Randall exclaimed, this time scared. He ran over and picked up Jeffrey, who was now once again soaked due to an accidental fall. He had no other choice at this point, but to perform a rigorous session of CPR on his Portal Summoner. His rescue efforts were cut short when a blue hologram of a cloaked figure appeared on a projector.
"How did the machine operate on the child?" the figure inquired in an eerie tone.
"Child unavailable," answered Randall, "I had accidentally intercepted Wazowski instead, and somehow Fungus got in the way when the device was mysteriously unplugged."
"Leave the machine alone until you have the child in possession," the cloaked figure ordered, "And about Fungus, I don't want this stunted slime in my sight again."
Jeffrey's face faded out in shame. Randall replied, "Yes, my Master."
Outside in the hall, Michael and James were running with the little girl in cargo. They were desperate to bring the news of their grim discovery to light.
"What are we doing now?" Michael asked.
"We're going to tell Waternoose about this," James answered, "Of course, after his speech."
"Good idea!" Michael agreed, "He needs to know, and I'm pretty sure he'll listen."
As they sprinted, they passed by Roz, who was seated in her office, re-watching security tapes that seemed to be over 2 ½ years old. She was studying them carefully to see what was going on.
"This is the night that the former dispatch manager vanished," Roz told herself.
On the video, a white-haired man with a full beard and suit was resting on the desk that Roz now inhabited, when all of a sudden, a knife came flying out of nowhere, but there was something suspicious about its projectile; it didn't fly randomly, it appeared as an invisible force was controlling it.
"Oh my!" Roz exclaimed, almost jumping out of her seat, "I must find out if there's any invisible people here."
"WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!"
Mr. Waternoose was in the training room, scolding Thaddeus Bile for his scaring technique once again.
"Come on," Thaddeus sighed, "What else can I do?"
"Well, I'm going to be having an expert, actually my Employee of the Month for 11 months in a row, coming in to teach some of the trainees," Mr. Waternoose answered.
Just as Mr. Waternoose was about to begin lecturing again, Michael and James burst through the double doors, panting breathlessly.
"James!" exclaimed Mr. Waternoose, "You've arrived, just in time! I need you to teach these students how to scare properly."
"Mr. Waternoose, I can't," James started off as Mariko wandered onto the bedroom stage, "You see, there's a bit of a situation going on here that I feel you need to know about—"
"You can tell me later James," Mr. Waternoose brushed off his concern, "Right now, I need you to roar."
"I'm sorry, but," James tried to speak up.
"ROAR, James!" Mr. Waternoose commanded him.
Summoning all his strength, James morphed into his beast form, put up his paws, and with all the power of his vocal chords, released his signature roar; said to be louder than the pride of a hundred lions. The trainees applauded him for his power and effort.
While it impressed Mr. Waternoose and the trainees, however, Mariko had witnessed the scene and heard the frightening sound, that she started to burst into tears. She hid under the bed. James saw this, but when he tried to comfort her, she only shuddered away in disappointment.
"Boo-chan," James whispered, morphing back into his humanoid form, "I'm not going to hurt you. I was only giving a demonstration to the newcomers at the factory."
Mariko only continued sobbing. James then took a look at the computer screens showing his terrifying growl, wondering, If she's not afraid of me, why is she crying now?
At that moment, images flashed into James' mind. He remembered last night, how Mariko showed him the crude crayon drawing of Randall, a creature without fur but rather scales and a serpentine hissing. That's when another image came to mind.
James now saw himself in a dim lecture hall; the only light coming from the midday sun through the windows of the domed ceiling. He was wearing a varsity letterman jacket, and he was only eighteen years old, a mere college freshmen, in this vision. A broken yellow energy canister lay on the floor as an elderly woman with deep burgundy hair and a matching suit approached him with the clicking of her high heels. As she was about to pose him a question, he roared and then replied by saying he didn't need to know anything else but rely on his instinct.
"That 'stuff'," began the woman, "would have told you that this particular child is a 2-year old girl with a fear of snakes. A roar would not make her scream, but rather cry, therefore alerting the parents and thus exposing and endangering the kaiju and the Realm of the Moon..."
"Oh, Mr. Boggs! I never knew you were such a gentlemen!"
Celia sat at her receptionist's desk as she sipped some green tea from a mug that read "Can It, Wazowski!". Randall stood behind her, gently styling her purple hair into bouncy pigtails. He wove peach and white roses into the barrettes, making sure they stayed in place.
"Celia, dear," Randall sighed, "You don't know how relaxing this actually is for me. You know, since I have such a busy schedule."
At that moment, a jazzy cell-phone ringtone sounded. Randall picked up the phone and answered it, saying, "I'll be there in a moment."
"What was it?" Celia asked.
"The boss," Randall answered, "He needs to see me. I'll be back soon, Shmoopsie-Poo."
Randall left the lobby. Celia sighed longingly, but not for Randall. She was now starting to miss Michael and all the good times they had together.
"Uh oh," For the first time in a long time, James felt real fear. In her crying, Mariko dropped her dreadlock wig, and wobbled her way towards Mr. Waternoose. She held on to his leg, burying her face in the gray fabric of his suit pants, and cleaning out her tears. The CEO picked up the girl, patting her on the back.
"Mr. Waternoose, I really have to tell you this," James started, shaking, "She wandered in here last night, and I was trying to get her back to her room, but it's been no use. And that's not all. I think that she is secretly being used by Randall as a test subject for this weird machine."
"I saw the machine myself!" Michael interrupted, "And it's located in this 'Secret Lab', and everything; you have to see it!"
"James, it is so good of you to report this to me," Mr. Waternoose seemed to sympathize with them, "You haven't told anyone about this, have you?"
"Not at all," James answered.
"Well, then," Mr. Waternoose pressed a button on a keypad, and a door descended into the station. However, unlike regular doors, this one was made of metal.
"Uh, this isn't her door," James told the CEO.
"No, it's not," Mr. Waternoose affirmed, "It's yours."
At that very moment, Randall appeared, grinning. He opened the door, through which a blast of cold wind came.
"Are these the 'winds of change' Randall was talking about?" Michael asked himself, before Randall kicked both of them through the door.
Michael and James fell through a vortex of cold air, blue nebulae, and bright stars. They tried to hold onto each other; arms and legs intertwined, as they screamed for their lives as they fell down, down through the white blizzard, the temperature decreasing with the accelerating speed. The metal door was shut tightly behind them.
There was no way back.
OH NO! They've just been thrown out a door that leads to who-knows where! Will our heroes survive, and will they be able to save Mariko. Tune in next time, for the 11th exciting chapter of Michael and James: Energy Haversters!