Unbeta'd. I apologize for the one month delay. My muse was deteriorating and I did my best for this chapter. Hope you'll like it. :)
Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane was a happy, carefree five-year-old boy. He was five but he was smart. He knew he was adopted because he sometimes dreamt of his life in the street which would most likely lead to terrible nightmares because that life was lonely and scary and he was all alone. He only had fragments of his past life before he met his Daddy and Ayah but that life had gotten immensely blurred in his young mind. The nightmares were rare and his nights were only filled with beautiful dreams ever since he became a Lightwood-Bane. Although he wasn't his parents' biological child, his aunts and uncles always said that his attitude and behavior was so alike his Ayah and Daddy it was getting uncanny to them.
He loved to sing and dance like Ayah and he also loved to cook like Daddy. He was Daddy's personal little helper in the kitchen and Ayah's duet and dance partner.
Most importantly, he was also a big brother.
And he loved being a big brother so, so much.
Because his little brother Max was awesome and cute and blue. Who else had a blue warlock as their baby brother?
No one but him.
Rafael giggled and continued coloring the drawing of his family. His left hand moved up and down, side to side, while his tongue was sticking out in concentration. He had done coloring himself and almost done with Max's blue face. Next would be Ayah and Daddy. Max would definitely love it and Daddy would put it on the wall of their bedroom next to the previous ones. Ayah sometimes would exaggerate and changed all the photos and portraits hanging on the wall of their house to his drawings. He and Max loved it when Ayah did that.
"Ayah, look." Rafael picked up his half-colored sketch and waved it in front of Magnus. The five-year-old boy frowned when his Ayah didn't acknowledge him or even looked at him. Ayah was actually staring intently at Daddy who was sleeping on the couch opposite of them.
"Ayah…" Rafael moved cautiously toward Magnus, slowly climbing up on top of his Ayah.
As if he was only noticing Rafael's presence, Magnus recoiled slightly in surprise. He pinched the bridge of his nose before dropping his gaze on his son's frowny face. "Hey, Rafe."
"Ayah, what's wrong?" Rafael whispered. "Why are you sad?"
"Nothing's wrong, my sweet prince." Magnus croaked, attempting his best to not showing his true emotions in front of his eldest.
"But you look so sad." Rafael argued. He gawked into Magnus' cat-like eyes, scrutinizing his Ayah like the little detective he was.
Magnus looked away, choosing to gape at his sleeping Alexander instead. Years of living in the streets had made Rafael acutely observant. If he let his son to inspect him, he would lose the fight and he would have an emotional breakdown right there and then in front of his toddler son. "I'm fine, Rafael."
"Why are you crying then? Are you sad, Ayah?" Rafael kept on inquiring. His young face appeared dejected. "Don't cry, Ayah. Please don't be sad."
"You're such a sweet boy." Magnus croaked brokenly, defeated, locking eyes with his son.
Rafael small hand touched Magnus' face. "Do you need a hug? I have plenty."
Magnus could only nod, opening his arms for his eldest. "Yes, please."
Rafael all but threw himself at Magnus, wrapping his tiny arms around his father's neck. Daddy and Ayah gave the best hugs in the world. Not even Aunt Izzy's hug was as comforting as Ayah or Daddy's. When Ayah or Daddy or both of them hugged him, Rafael could feel their warmth and protectiveness. He had gone for years without the feeling of protectiveness of a parent and now that he had it, he always longed for more. His parents' hugs were always accompanied with kisses all over his face.
And Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane sure loved to be hugged and kissed.
"I don't like seeing you sad." Rafael muttered quietly, burying his face in Magnus' neck. "When you're sad, I'm sad too."
"Don't be, my son. You're too young to feel such burden." Magnus kissed Rafael's hair. "I am feeling a little bit down but I'll be okay. I have you, haven't I?"
"Always." Rafael's brown eyes were filled with conviction. He sounded so much like Alec it made Magnus' heart ached. "I wanna make sure you, and Daddy, and Max will never be sad. Sad is bad."
"Unfortunately, just like other emotions, sadness is a part of us. It makes us humane." Magnus said it slowly but when Rafael's face became unreadable, he couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, Rafael."
Witnessing his Ayah's laugh, Rafael beamed as well. "You're sad no more?"
Magnus tweaked Rafael's nose. "I told you I'm okay, buddy. I just have a lot on my mind right now."
Rafael sighed contentedly. He rested his head on Magnus' chest. "Where are we going today, Ayah? What are we going to do today?"
Playing with Rafael's soft, dark hair, Magnus hummed. "Well, first…we have to wait for Max. Aunt Izzy's sure taking so long getting your brother ready, isn't she?"
Rafael giggled. His small body vibrated. "Max and Aunt Izzy love clothes too much, Ayah. They can't decide what to wear."
"True." Magnus returned Rafael's content comment with a chuckle. "But I didn't take forever like them to dress, did I?"
"You actually did, Magnus. You're worse." Instead of Rafael's childish tone, a soft, feminine voice was heard from the door. Magnus turned toward the voice while Rafael lifted his head up from his father's chest to see more clearly.
"Hiya, Aunt Izzy!" Rafael waved enthusiastically at Isabelle.
"Hey, Rafe!" Isabelle gave her nephew a flying kiss. She however didn't move from her position, making no intention to step into Alec's old bedroom.
"Where's Max?" Rafael began to look around, apprehensive by the absence of his brother.
"Rawr!" Max roared, dramatically jumped out from behind Isabelle. Even with his blue skin and budding horns, he didn't look dangerous or daunting in the least. "I'm here, abang!"
Rafael scrambled down Magnus' lap and dashed toward Max who was fresh out of shower and thoroughly cleaned. "You took forever to get ready, adik."
Max grinned toothily. "The mud in my hair and near my horns is hard to clean."
Magnus eyed Max with an authoritarian look that only fathers could pull. "I hope you learned your lesson, Maxwell Michael. Mud puddle isn't the appropriate place for you to take your bath."
"Especially when you're planning to go out." Rafael added sternly.
"I won't do it again, Ayah, abang. I promise." Max offered his sweet smile, kissing Rafael's face and afterward his Ayah. Isabelle chuckled when she saw the exact moment both Magnus and Rafael melted by Max's charming gesture.
"He's a heartbreaker, for sure." Isabelle commented, smiling as she approached the Lightwood-Banes and laughed when the two brothers began to horseplay. It brought back memories when she was younger. Roughhousing with Jace was her common activity and Alec always had to play mediator to stop them from getting too violent.
"Just like his Daddy." Magnus' gaze fell from his children to Alec. He tried his best this time to hide his sadness. Not only that Rafael was a perceptive boy, he too had the tendency to get spooked easily. When they adopted Rafael who was three at that time, they knew the boy would be emotionally traumatized. They had hoped it would vanish altogether after they had showered Rafael with love but unfortunately the remains still lingered.
"Alec's still sleeping?" Isabelle sat on the coffee table, facing both Alec and Magnus. "When's the meeting?"
"In an hour." Magnus exhaled heavily.
"Is everything okay?" Isabelle's voice was soft and soothing. "You look exhausted. And honestly, Magnus…it looks like my brother is in a better shape than you right now."
"If only that was true." Magnus' face crumpled. "Two months have passed and I believe things have gotten from bad to worse. Physically, he does look rather alright but internally? I don't know how much longer Alexander can withstand this. Without his runes to aid him, his body will give up sooner or later. And I don't know how much longer I can bear seeing him suffer."
"I hope you're not going to leave my brother because if you do, I swear Mag—"
"Give me some credit, Isabelle darling." Magnus leaned further into his seat.
"Sorry. I'm just worried about Alec." Isabelle sighed. She watched her happy nephews, playing without a care in the world. She had always been proud of Alec and Magnus for raising such incredible children. She never doubted that Alec would be a great father because the man was the best brother anyone could have ever asked for.
"Something's seriously troubling you." Isabelle observed the eerily quiet her soon-to-be brother-in-law. "I know it has something to do with Alec. Have you talked to him about whatever it is troubling you like this?"
"I'm afraid that conversation would be utterly pointless." Magnus muttered gloomily. "Alexander won't listen and I won't force him to. It'll only lead to another argument like before."
"If you talked to Alec, at least he'd know how you truly feel. Keeping it all to yourself isn't healthy." Isabelle gave her view. "Yeah, Alec knows the risks he's taking as an individual but I don't think he has fully grasped the impact of his decision to you and the children."
"I—" Magnus' words died on his lips when he saw Rafael and Max approaching.
"Aunt Izzy…" Young Rafael politely sat beside to Isabelle on the coffee table. "Can we go now?"
Isabelle glanced at the wall clock. "We'll get going in a few. Uncle Simon must be on his way."
Max who was already sitting on Magnus' lap started to bounce. "Cool! And where are we going, Aunt Izzy? Ayah won't tell us anything!"
Ruffling the blue boy's blue hair, Isabelle formed a smile. "I don't wanna ruin the surprise but the place we're going is in Manhattan."
Magnus wrapped his arms around Max to pour his affection and to stop the boy from bouncing because he was starting to ache. "You boys have fun, alright? I want to know everything when you get home."
Rafael's head snapped toward Magnus instantly. "You're not coming with us, Ayah?"
"I'd love to but I can't, my darlings. Daddy needs to attend the meeting and as his partner, I'm obliged to go as well." Magnus said easily.
Nonetheless, Magnus actually felt horrible for lying to his sons. The reason why they were all here was because he desperately needed to keep his eyes on Alec. He had advised Alec to let someone else to handle the meeting. They had a lot of other people capable enough to take his place — Jace, Isabelle, Clary, even Raj — but the ever stubborn Alec Lightwood had refused.
And Magnus essentially understood because Alec had given up most of his duties as a Shadowhunter including hunting since he found out about the pregnancy and if he had to let go of his responsibilities as the Head of the Institute too, Alec might go crazy.
Magnus surely didn't want that to happen.
"Could you guys keep it down?" Alec suddenly groaned with his eyes closed.
"Alec, are you fully awake, big brother?" Isabelle whispered, just in case Alec decided to go back to sleep.
"Y-Yeah…" Alec grunted, attempting to get into a more comfortable position on the couch — which wasn't exactly cozy for his physique in the first place — but the slight movement caused him to wince as pain began to assault him. "Is it time?"
"Not yet, love. You can go back to sleep if you want. I'll wake you up later." Magnus feigned a smile. It hurt him to see his Alexander bone-weary and barely functioning due to constantly being in pain.
"Nah, it's okay. It's supposed to be a quick nap." Alec gingerly moved into a sitting position. Once he was comfy he let out a loud exhale.
"Sorry for disturbing you sleeping." Isabelle apologized, watchfully ogling her big brother who had changed dramatically in appearance. Magnus was right. Alec looked worse than before. He looked haggard, gaunt, and so, so pale.
"I'm up anyway." Alec smiled at his baby sister. He opened his arms wide and both Rafael and Max rushed to him, abandoning Magnus and Isabelle without remorse. "Besides, my babies are gonna be away from me for a few hours. I ought to spend time with them first before succumbing myself into an exceptionally boring Shadow World meeting."
"You sure you wanna attend the meeting, Alec?" Isabelle was obviously unconvinced.
"I can do this, Izzy." Alec said faintly, leaning back a little to make himself and his boys comfy.
Isabelle could only nod. Of course she was skeptical about the whole thing. Not because Alec wasn't a good leader, her brother was the best and he often slayed in any meetings but his current condition had made him somewhat fragile. Nobody outside of their family knew about Alec's perilous situation and they repeatedly didn't play nice. Letting Alec attend a meeting where most people were against his view was a risk. What if Alec's condition exacerbated during the meeting?
Or if he suddenly fainted?
"Daddy!" Max's sudden and loud gasp made Isabelle's heartbeats quickened. "Daddy, your tummy kicks me!"
Isabelle glanced at Magnus, who stared at Alec. Magnus appeared horrified but Alec seemed calm. They didn't break the pregnancy news to the kids yet although Alec was already in his fifth month of pregnancy. Alec's baby bump was barely perceptible due to his height and build. And Magnus hadn't yet had to use his magic to glamor Alec's changing body.
The fact that Alec often wore black did help a lot too. Hiding in plain sight.
Alec entangled himself from his sons and gazed affectionately at them. Both Rafael and Max looked terribly confused at the situation and despite feeling apprehensive by their imminent reaction, the news of his pregnancy was long overdue.
Alec remembered when his parents told him about his mother's pregnancy. He was two years old and he was beyond ecstatic. Despite being only two at that time, he had become kind of protective when Maryse told him he was going to have a baby sister. His mother was pregnant again when he was nine and he was thrilled to be a big brother once more. Izzy loathed it at first as she was used to be the youngest in the family but in the end Maxwell Joseph Lightwood had easily won Izzy's heart.
And then Jace came along and the whole family accepted him with open arms and even though Alec and his parents had become estranged as he grew older, he was glad he had his siblings by his side.
Alec hoped his sons would love being a big brother like he did.
He was quite positive it wouldn't be a problem to Rafael but Max however…
"You feel the kick, Max?" Alec asked gently, carefully watching Rafael and Max's expression.
"I feel it, Daddy!" Max's eyes were wide in surprise. "Why your tummy hits me? What did I do? Bad tummy."
"Come here." Receiving a nod of support from Magnus, Alec lightly tugged Max and Rafael — who had jerked away when Max felt the kick — back into his lap. "Ayah and I have great news to share with you."
"What?" Rafael was feeling nervous even though his Daddy had said it was great news.
"Well…" Alec took a deep breath, gazing at Isabelle for addition support who smiled brightly in return. "I'm pregnant. That kick just now was the baby saying hi to his or her big brothers."
"Right now, there's a baby growing in Daddy's tummy." Magnus offered his own words, smiling a bit although it was faked so that his children wouldn't feel uneasy. "You're going to have a little brother or little sister soon."
"Really? Another brother or sister?" Rafael's eyes widen in excitement.
"What?" Max's brows furrowed. He seemed upset, obviously didn't share Rafael's sentiment regarding the matter. "Why?"
"Aren't you happy to become a big brother like Rafe?" Alec was crestfallen by Max's reaction.
"No!" Max screamed unexpectedly. "No! I don't want to be a big brother! No!"
"Max…" Alec tried to hold Max but the child pushed his hands away.
"Don't you love me anymore, Daddy? Ayah?" Max began to cry, his small body shook strongly. "Is that…Is that why want another…another b-baby?"
"Ayah and I will always love you, Max…and you too, Rafael. We won't love you two any different or any less when the baby comes. Both of you are still our sons and we love you so, so much." Alec swallowed the lump in his throat. Max's response was heartbreaking.
Rafael immediately hugged his baby brother who continued crying in his big brother's embrace. Today was his least favorite day. First Ayah was sad, and now Max was openly crying. He still didn't know why Ayah was so sad but he didn't understand why Max didn't want to be a big brother.
Being a big brother was amazing!
But Max was sad, and as a big brother he would do his best to make Max stop crying.
"You wanna know something, Max?" Isabelle whispered, her voice gentle as she attempted to soothe the little blue warlock. "When my mom and dad first brought my brother home, I wasn't too sure about it. But then I was happy to have someone to play with. And now…I'll be sad if I don't have your Uncle Jace with me."
"You might feel sad and angry right now but when the baby is born, you'll love him or her so much, Max. You'll love them so much you won't let anyone hurt them, trust me." Isabelle beamed when Max lifted his face from Rafael's chest to look at her. She wanted to tell her nephews about her other brother — Max Lightwood — but she was certain it would only make not only Max, but Rafael and Alec as well sad.
Isabelle gawked at Magnus afterwards because her words weren't only meant for Max, but for the elder warlock as well. Even though months had passed, the warlock was still doubting himself whether he could love his unborn child. Alec had told her about it. Magnus himself had admitted it to her how he couldn't find it in himself to have the same fervor as Alec in becoming a father for the third time. Her gaze had unintentionally locked with Magnus and right there and then Isabelle knew her words had speared him deep.
"Daddy…" Rafael all of a sudden spoke. There was a deep frown on his face. "How are babies made? How did the baby get inside your tummy?"
Alec sputtered even though he wasn't drinking anything. He looked lost which obviously meant the young father of two wasn't ready for those kind of questions from his children. Isabelle openly guffawed and Magnus also couldn't hide his laughter seeing Alec's reaction toward the questions.
"You eat the baby?!" Max gasped noisily, making his own assumption and his innocent statement only made his Aunt Izzy to chortle louder. She was glad though the boy wasn't as disconsolate as before.
"It's actually an amazing thing on how babies are made specifically the one currently growing inside Daddy." Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn started speaking. He stole a glance at his fiancé who noticeably began to relax now that the burden was shared between them. His children on the other hand were listening diligently. "A seed from Ayah and an egg from Daddy join together in Daddy's tummy. That's where the baby grows, in a special sack there called the womb."
"Do you mean an egg like the ones in the refrigerator?" Max harmlessly asked.
"Blueberry…"
"Where do you keep your seeds, Ayah? Do you have to water them?" Rafael prompted his own questions as well which turned out to be worse than Max's.
"Oh, my…" Isabelle tried her best not to burst out laughing out loud because that would be awfully bad for her nephews' self-esteems but she wished Jace could hear this. The blonde would have been rolling on the floor due to his inability to contain his laughter. Both Alec and Magnus' expressions were to die for too. They appeared like fish out of water, gaping, completely taken aback by their sons' inquiries.
"Um…guys?" Simon who had just arrived stood there awkwardly. He didn't know why Izzy looked like she was about to pass out but he sure as hell wanted to know.
"Uncle Simon!" Rafael and Max screamed almost at the same time and ran toward their uncle. Their inquiries were completely forgotten much to their daddies' delight. Magnus let out a deep exhale while Alec slumped against his seat in relief.
"Let's go, boys. I really need the fresh air. My organs are starving of oxygen." Isabelle giggled, ushering Max and Rafael out of the door but both of them ran back to their fathers. The young Lightwood-Banes hugged their Ayah first who was closest and then they moved to their Daddy, hugging him simultaneously.
"I love you, Daddy." Max admitted openly.
"I love you too…both of you." Alec genuinely answered, tightening his hold on both of his boys. "I've loved you then, I love you now, and I'll love you forever."
Phew! This chapter is the longest I've written by far. I truly hope my muse won't abandon me for the upcoming chapters. Fingers crossed! :)
Thank you so much for reading. I truly appreciate it. Comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscribes, etc. are always welcome. :)