Saddly, I do not own Twilight... :(
The Hunted
Previously.........
"How are your legs?" He asked as he took the plate from my lap.
"Hurting" I mumbled as my eyes closed.
"On a scale of one to ten?" He pushed.
"Eight" I told him as I leaned on him to support me. I felt him move and his hands on my back as I seemed to be sinking. It took mr a moment and the feeling of the sofa on my back to realise that he was laying me down. The sofa had never felt more comfy.
"I'm sorry Bella, if I had known you'd be in pain I wouldn't have even thought of it" I felt his hand on my face as his voice dripped with concern and worry.
"I had fun. It was worth it" I smiled sleepily, my aches turning rather numb as I fell deeper into my slumber.
I had a friend!
Well, I know I had Jazz and Em, but I thought of them as brothers more than friends. Alice and Rosalie were unknowns up till now but... Edward was my friend. I bet he would have fit in with our group in Scunthorpe.
All quiet, all have our own little quirks and problems, all out casts. Yeah, I think we would have been best friends, even in Scunthorpe.
Now.........
Bella's Perspective...
I had a nightmare free night once more, and woke up feeling more refreshed than I ever remember. I must have slept quite a while because I remember conking at... well it must have been around half past three yesterday afternoon and it was morning again. I've been sleeping so much recently.
Again I had slept on the sofa, and again I was draped over Edward. For someone made of stone he was so comfy. I yawned but felt none of the tiredness I had yesterday. The feeling of total awareness filled me and I felt like I could run a marathon. I wondered grimly how long the feeling would last.
"Awake?" Edward asked quietly and I simply hummed. Just because I was wide awake did not mean that I particularly wanted to move. My legs would no doubt be hurting from my excursion yesterday, and I was not looking forward to that.
"Yeah" I smiled, snuggling into his chest and sighing in contentment.
"No nightmares" I realised his arms were around me when he squeezed me lightly, an obvious smile in his voice.
"You're my official knight in shining armour" I closed my eyes, just enjoying the peacefulness of it. No pain, no tiredness, no noise, just being there, breathing, living, existing. No drama. It was nice, but I knew it would never last.
"Hungry" I stated and I begrudgingly sat up slowly, glad to find hardly any pain in my arms. The blanket fell from my shoulders as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I took a look at Edward and smirked when I saw him bleary eyed and messy haired.
"Did you sleep?" I asked, a little fascinated at how he seemed to be breaking a law of vampire nature.
"Yeah... can you tell?" He sent me a smirk, and I remembered how that smile seemed to light up the room, brightening his eyes.
"Well, the bed hair and sleepy eyes give it away. Welcome back from the land of nod" I mussed his hair gently finding his pout when I pulled away again amusing.
"Come on, let's get the human fed" He winked at me and I let the 'human' thing slide, knowing he was only joking. He got up and I bit my lip in worry. I moved my legs a little and winced, my muscles had locked and it was rather painful. I was not going to make it to the kitchen on my own. I hated asking for help though.
"Come on" I found Edward stood in front of me, hands held out waiting for mine. I gulped as I put my hands in his and heaved myself up, I was alright until I put all my weight in my legs instead of Edward, the pain had them buckling beneath me again. Edward caught me again and gently set me back on the sofa where I was gasping for breath.
"Stay" He crouched down in front of me, looking at me guiltily "I'll get you some toast again, alright?" He waited for my agreement and I nodded, watching him sigh before he blurred away.
I couldn't help the tears that formed in my eyes. I thought I was getting better, but my legs hurt more than ever. I didn't like being so dependant on other people, hating that they might get sick of me but I couldn't help it in this case. I had so much fun with Edward yesterday, it was easy to forget the things that set us both apart from the rest of the people in there, the things we've seen and what we are. We were just two people shopping.
I felt normal. Now reality was crashing down and I was forced to face the ugly truth once again. I knew I could never run away from this, it's become a part of me now, it's changed me, but it was nice to just escape for a while.
"Hey... come on" I felt the sofa dip to one side as Edward sat down again, pulling me to his side and laying his hand across my shoulders.
"It's okay. It will get better in time" He kissed the side of my head and I nodded mutely. I knew it would, I would heal and this would just be a distant memory, but I wish it would hurry up and happen.
"Sorry. Got a bit emotional.... again" I chuckled nervously as I sniffed, wiping a stray tear away as I zeroed in on the plate of toast. A deep chuckle from Edward was the only sound in the room besides my growling stomach and he handed me the plate.
Once again I gobbled the toast down, sending a satisfied hum Edward's way when I finished and he took the plate away again.
"Carlisle will be impressed. He didn't see you starting on solids for a few more weeks" He told me as he reappeared again.
"So he expected me to eat jelly and sit around for weeks? Really?" I turned to him incredulously.
"Bella, none of us are human, we don't know what it's like to be a teenager anymore" He told me seriously and I itched to ask him how old he was, but that was rude. My mum always hated being asked her age because she was over 25, after which you were classed as 'old' in my mums books. But I think Edward is much older that 25, by the way he speaks... maybe late 1800. We did the language difference in History.
"Well, we don't like to sit around doing nothing unless we're in one of 'those' moods, and we need a variation in food!" I whined as he smirked when I said 'those moods'.
"What moods?" He actually looked truly confused.
"You know... when everything is all... blah and you feel all weighed down and you just need time to yourself to think and relax..." I trailed away, noting the blank look on his face. Ah, he didn't have 21 century parents, no 21 century problems.
"You're so lucky you don't get all stressed out" I sighed, shaking my head.
"Stressed out? Over what? Which pair of jeans to wear?" He chuckled and I turned my glare on him.
"Maybe that's what the American teens worry about but there are more stressing things you know! Exams! Parents! Choosing what you're going to do with your life! All the pressure to get good grades! You have no idea!" I pointed my finger at him as I ranted a little, huffing at the end and turning away, a little embarrassed by my outburst.
"Sorry" He whispered as he squeezed me again, making my irritation evaporate as I sighed and turned back.
We were silent for a while and it was getting rather uncomfortable. For the first time I couldn't think of something to say to him, always finding him easy to talk to. I spotted the remote for the television and reached for it easily, pressing the button and letting the sound fill the room.
I found myself engrossed in 'The Simple Life', surprising since I hated people like Paris Hilton. There was some sort of marathon on, and I wondered idly if Edward was bored but he could always leave to do something else. It's not like I need him to breath for me, but it is to have the company.
I couldn't help but pang of longing when I saw Paris sitting at a Grande piano, messing around. I cringed when she hit lots of keys at the same time, wanting to turn the programme over just to stop the torture. That poor piano. I gasped when I saw them with a huge hammer, grabbing the remote and quickly turning the channel over to some comedy sketch to avoid watching the piano carnage for myself.
"Care to explain?" Edward spoke finally, but I honestly didn't want to tell him. I couldn't explain it, I hated seeing instruments being misused, it made me cringe when ever I saw it. I doubt he would understand, so I settled with a head shake.
"That reminds me... I have to find my ipod" He mumbled, retracting his arm and getting up slowly, frowning as he scratched the back of his neck.
"Err...." No it can't be "What colour is it?" I hedged, hoping it wasn't the one I used in Carlisle's car.
"White" He told me, staring at me for a moment.
"Have you seen it? I put it somewhere but I haven't been able to find it in months" I looked around the room as if expecting it to jump out at him.
"Yeah... actually" I transferred my eyes to the sofa while I continued "Carlisle let me listen to it on the way here. It's in his car" I whispered and I heard him groan.
I didn't know if he liked his things being touched and moved, some didn't. It seemed he didn't either.
"Jesus Bella" He moaned again "How bad was it?"
I was confused by his question, frowning at the sofa. How bad was what? Did he think I damaged it? Was that it?
"I mean... some of the music was a joke... I don't really listen to Aqua and Barbie Girl, I swear, it was Emmett" He gushed out and it took me a moment to realise he was actually apologizing. When would vampires would do what I expected?
"It wasn't so bad, except for the Bananarama and ELO. They were horrendous, my parents wouldn't even listen to that rubbish!" I playfully berated him, watching as he gaped at me.
"Hey ELO were huge back in the day! They did some good tunes" He defended and I just shook my head. He winked before standing and blurring away, leaving me alone as I turned my attention back to the television and watched some man make a fool of himself in front of a girl.
"Thanks, this one has some of my favourite songs on it" He told me as he flopped down beside me, and I raised my eyebrows a little.
"Not those ones! Others" He added quietly, turning back to the ipod almost shyly.
"Hey, that reminds me, who composed that piano piece?" I asked, remembering the haunting tune that sent me to sleep.
"You heard it?" He seemed worried when I nodded.
"What did you think of it?" His eyes were locked on mine, and I got the distinct impression that this meant a lot to him. The reason... I wasn't sure.
"It was amazing. It sent me to sleep even though I was really scared" I told him, hoping it was what he wanted to hear, and it seems it was. He turned away, almost embarrassed.
"I composed it" I almost didn't catch it but my eyes widened and my jaw dropped.
"You composed that? Seriously? Wow" I gasped as he turned back to me.
"Really?" He asked, looking doubtful.
"Are you kidding?! The emotion you put into it was fantastic" I told him as a smile creeped on my face as I realised I sounded like a love sick fan. But it made me wonder. There was such despair and sadness, was that how Edward felt? Depressed?
"Thanks. Do you play piano?" He asked innocently and I knew he saw my hesitation.
"No. Never tried" I lied, feeling my amateurish playing being dwarfed by his skills. I would never play for him, it would be mortifying. He was so much better than me.
He was silent for a moment, contemplating something deeply before he looked at me and his gaze softened.
"So... you have a piano?" I asked, cursing the hopeful tone my voice had acquired.
"Yeah, you know the other door in the kitchen?" He asked curiously.
"The one with the steps going down to the door?" I frowned, wondering why they had such a strange room.
"That's the music room. There's a guitar and some drums from passing fads the others have gone through" He rolled his eyes, and for some reason I could see Jasper sat in a rocking chair on the porch of an old rickety wooden house, chewing a piece of straw as he strummed on his guitar. The drums... well I could just see Emmett going crazy with them.
I wanted to go down there right now and start playing.
My lessons may have stopped, and I had stopped playing, but only for the grades. Sarah's mum had a piano and I always used to go over there to play random tunes, and in the end started thinking of lyrics to add to it. Sarah had caught me singing one of my tunes one day and grabbed her guitar and joined in.
It was amazing really, knowing my friends for nearly three years and they had all kept things from me. First, Becky and Sarah could both play guitar, Sarah acoustic and electric but Becky just went ape on the electric one she dusted it off and showed us, saying her dad taught her how to play when she was younger.
Then I learned that Jess, Lauren and Jess were... amazing singers, when they sung together it was a beautiful harmony, and I expected angels to fly through the windows and start playing harps. Yeah... they were good.
And Paige... once she learned that we were all retrieving our musical pasts, she ordered us all to go around to her place. When we did... we were amazed. There in her living room was a perfectly new, shiny and black set of drums. She simply smirked before twirling two sticks in her hands and started to play. Who would have thought it...
Strange how little you know your friends...
Anyway, Sarah soon told them about my singing and they all freaked when I told them I had thought of it myself. They literally forced me onto the piano stool and ordered me to sing and play it. Being a sleep over, our instruments left in the corner of the garage, Sarah's house not having room for them all, especially the drum set Paige had insisted on us all carrying up a hill and then reassembling. We were all slightly buzzing, not caring about the cold or the fact that it was already about half past nine at night. The sudden surge of excitement at finding out something new about each other, something else we had in common all the sugar filled sweets helped too.
I sat on the stool, in my little shorts and top pyjama's with blue sheep on them, filled with cherryade and Harribo and played them the song.
Sarah joined in after a moment, remembering how it went, Becky added some gentle chords with her guitar and soon Paige was giving us a rhythm to keep to. Jess, Lauren and Jess picked up and chorus and where adding backing voices, and it wasn't until we actually finished and the song came to an end, Sarah's mum bursting in the door and saying how good we sounded that we realised what we had just done.
I had thought of lyrics and we had all put a rhythm and life to it. We barely got any sleep that night, the rest of them so hyped up by it all that they forced me to write the whole song down for each of them and then we practiced it all night. We slept the entire next day.
"Hello? Anyone in there?" I saw a pale hand waving in front of me and I shook my head slightly from the memories that flooded my mind.
"Sorry, spaced out" I mumbled as I blushed.
"Look... I... well..." He stuttered out, and I frowned at the torn and worried mask on his face, missing the light inducing smile.
"What is it Edward?" I gently encouraged, watching him exhale as he ran a hand through his hair.
"I... I have to go hunt" He mumbled, staring into my eyes and I couldn't help but look closer at his eyes. They were still golden, but now that I actually looked, I realised they were quite a bit darker than they were this morning.
"Okay" I shrugged, trying not to get scared as I realised that Edward's control could snap at any point. The comfort the golden eyes gave me was evaporating with the colour itself.
"I won't go far, I'll be back soon alright?" But he was already standing, seeming to hesitate.
"Edward, the most I'll do is curl up on here and sleep" I tried to placate him, watching as he seemed to think about it for a moment before he nodded a little.
"You need anything, anything" He emphasised the word "You call me, alright? Even if it's just to get up the stairs. Call me" He looked around for a moment before he blurred away, causing me to roll my eyes and huff, wondering how many times he would leave me hanging to run off.
"Here, keep it with you in case we need to reach you" He handed me my iphone, kissing my cheek before standing and blurring as he walked to the door, I felt the heated blush rising in my cheeks from the contact and... being kissed on the cheek by much a... yummy man.
"Is 'have fun' the wrong sentiment?" I smirked, not caring about the blush as I turned and saw him at the door smirking at me.
"No. Have fun fits rather nicely" He flashed his teeth as he smiled, opening the door and saying and quiet good bye before closing it behind him with a deafening thud.
I was alone.
Maybe I hadn't thought this through. This house was huge, and just sitting here made me feel small and insignificant. But that wasn't the worst thing. Even with the television on, the silence deafened me and I felt the familiar fear prickling at the back of my neck.
I had to do something before I freak out, I need to take my mind off being alone in the middle of the forest in a gigantic house while my vampire friends went and drank some blood. It all sounded like a corny Hollywood movie, but no ladies and gentlemen...
This is my life.
I frowned at my dud legs, hating them before realising that it was stupid to hate your legs and I stopped glaring at them. I had to move, I couldn't just sit here like a couch potato. I had to do something.
My mind went to the door in the kitchen and I had my mind set. They didn't have to know I went down there, they were all out anyway. Besides, I know more than anyone that vampires are not easily distracted once they start feeding so even if someone does hear me, they won't do anything.
With my mind set, I scooted to the front edge of the couch, giving my legs a silent pep talk before shakily standing. Before I fell a moment later.
I tried again, smiling when I stood up by myself and scowling when I fell back to the sofa once more. Damn it!
I scooted to the far end of the sofa and stood again, gripping the back of the sofa tightly as I walked around the back and stood there for a moment in dumb realisation. The sofa only goes so far and I can only walk with something else taking the weight from my legs.
I made it in the end, using walls and tables, and as I got to the kitchen, the cupboards. To say I was pooped would be an understatement. I wanted to curl up and sleep but I knew that once I started to play I wouldn't even think of sleeping. I may not be as good as Edward, but I understand the thrill of playing.
The steps were tricky, but the small banister helped, even if it did groan under the weight of me. I panted a little as I leaned against the wall at the bottom of the five steps, a small two foot gap between the last step and the door.
But as I gripped the circular door handle, I hesitated. Edward hadn't said I could use his piano, he hadn't said I could even go in there. What if I wasn't aloud?
He didn't say you weren't. If you weren't aloud, he would have told you
I had a point, and I mentally berated myself for agreeing with my own mind. With a shaky determination, I twisted the knob and pushed the door open.
Light shone through the high windows, dust floating around and shining when the sun hit it before it floated away again. I crept inside, closing the door quietly even though I knew no-one was here.
The walls were a neutral blue, the ceiling a calming cream. The room was large, way too big for a piano, a guitar and a drum set but the Cullen's didn't really care about size. Look at the house they had!
As my eyes swept the dusty room, I couldn't help but think it was empty. Until my gaze fell on the far corner, a beautiful black grande piano sitting in the corner, music sheets scattered on the top and keys.
I shuffled towards it, having to walk in the middle of the room to get to it. I didn't care. I would crawl if I had to. A grande piano. It didn't surprise me that Edward had one, but to be so close to one...
They were the most expensive and grand piano you could get, and I had only dreamed of ever touching on. I could play on it...
My gaze never left the magnificent machine, even as I sat down on the piano stool and dust rose around me from the cushion, I could only marvel at the beauty of it.
The shiny black wood had not one scratch, I would have thought it had never been played had it not been for the piles of sheets filled with unfinished melodies on them. I couldn't hold back my curiosity and I reached for the closest one to me, gripping it loosely as I scanned the music notes, imagining how it would sound. I could read music, something that I was glad for the music lessons for.
The melody, had there been a sheet on here with a completed version, would have been beautiful if played. Edward was indeed a talented musician. I felt a little guilty as I gently moved all of the papers from the keys and lid, setting them on top as if treating them harshly would make them attack me or something.
I scooted them stool closer, resting my wrists on the edge of the piano, my hands hovering above the keys as I wondered what to play. I idly pressed down a key, jumping as the sound reverberated around the room. I guess that was why the music room was down here. Good acoustics.
I smiled when I realised a fitting song to play. The first song we ever played. The song I thought of.
I don't even know how I thought of it, but I just remembered how Sarah was talking about this girl being dumped by her boyfriend, and she was utterly broken because she had given him everything, and basically worshipped the ground he walked on.
I hummed a the first verse as I played the melody on the piano, smiling when it sounded so much better in this room on this piano. I started to sing quietly as I entered the second verse.
"I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out"
I totally forgot, which was the beauty of music. It was so easy to get lost in a song or tune. I totally forgot where I was, who I was and what had happened. I was just someone playing a song, and that was a comfort. I felt so peaceful playing and singing, it was nice to know I hadn't lost that part of myself.
"Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away"
I smirked when I imagined Jess and Jess and Lauren joining in, singing the backing. It sounded rather barren without the drums and guitar, but I liked it this way too. This was the song I thought of, with me singing and playing. Call me selfish, but I had always thought of this song as mine.
"Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again"
I didn't even know this girls name, but her story had stuck in my mind and I just imagined how it must have been like. To idolise someone like that, to be so devoted and in love, to think them to be such a God, an angel that you couldn't see that he wasn't happy.
"You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away"
I hadn't even realised my voice had gotten louder until I cleared my throat, blushing with embarrassment even though I knew there was no-one here. It was an old habit.
"Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away"
I carried on the melody, not singing the last part since that was the part that Jess and Jess sung. The song came to an end and the room was silent once more, not knowing what a difference that had made. I felt... freer. I couldn't explain it. I was always able to get emotions and thoughts through with lyrics and melodies. I never was good with words so I let my music do the talking for me.
I sat in silence, my fingers tapping the keys gently, not hard enough to push them down. I remembered a song my own relationship had inspired, and I grimaced at the very memory of it. How could I have been so blind?
I began playing, finding this song slower and more calming than the other. This one meant, perhaps, a little more because this had a real like meaning to me.
"All this time I felt so lost, lost and needed help.
Incomplete, out of reach, alone all by myself.
It all becomes so clear, when I see your face.
And it's only when you're near, I feel I'm safe"
I can't believe I ever trusted him or went back to him. I wasn't sure if I had loved him, but I know he hurt me more than I thought a boy could. Everyone assured me that I would be okay, that if it was love... I would just know. Well, I didn't know so I didn't think I had been. But it's too late to think of that now.
"So before we take this road, before you change my mind,
fill my heart with hope, help me to believe this time.
I've been torn apart, desperately tryin' to find a way back to my heart,
so I can love again
I'm so tired of holding on, so tired of waiting.
I need to feel something real, without it breaking.
It all becomes so clear, when you touch my hand.
And it's only when you're near, I know you understand"
Understand?! My arse! He only wanted one thing, and when he didn't get it he got it from someone else. Ugh! I can't believe I was ever with such an idiot.
"So before we take this road, before you change my mind,
fill my heart with hope, help me to believe this time.
I've been torn apart, desperately try to find a way back to my heart,
so I can love again.
There's a fire within me, but I don't know where to stop. There's light beginning. There's a dark kind leaving there's a hope I'm feeling now.
So before we take this road, before you change my mind, fill my heart with hope, help me to believe this time.
I've been torn apart, desperately try to find a way back to my heart, so I can love again
Turn the page to love again"
I concluded, trailing off but keeping up a constant random tune on the keys as I tried to think of something else to play.
"I thought you couldn't play"
My fingers slammed down on the keys in shock as I tensed, and I didn't even cringe at the horrible noise it made that reverberated around the room. I couldn't help that my eyes widened and I abruptly stopped breathing. I don't know why I was so scared, but I couldn't help it.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt" I heard his voice getting louder, the only way of telling that he was coming closer since his footsteps were lighter than feathers. I froze totally as he slid on the bench next to me, and I felt like I should get up and leave him alone. This was his piano after all.
"You've got an amazing voice" He continued and I relaxed a little after realising he wasn't angry. He was in fact complimenting me. Wait... he was complimenting me?
"Thanks" I breathed, staring at my fingers that were still pushing the keys down, no noise coming out since I had held them down for too long. I carefully retracted them, setting my hands in my lap before I started idly tapping keys like I used to do.
"Why didn't you tell me you played?" He asked, running up the keys, getting so far and then running down them again.
"I... I'm not as good as you" I shrugged, realising how stupid and vain that sounded now.
"Bella..." I was surprised to hear him laugh "I have had a few decades of boredom to practice. Plus you can do something I have never been able to master" He sounded rather annoyed at himself and I peeked at him, watching him scratch the back of his neck and down at the keys that we was still pressing.
"What's that?" I asked curiously, not hiding the fact I was watching him as I turned around fully.
"You can put words to the tune, I've never been able to do that" His eyes softened as they met mine and I noticed a little vaguely that they were a bright golden again.
"Would you..." He paused, taking a deep breath, something I knew he didn't have to do and I stared at him curiously, wondering that we wanted me to do.
"Would you play something for me?" He asked, almost seeming shy. It was so adorable, not that I would ever tell him that. No vampire wants to hear that they are adorable.
"I don't know..." I cringed at the thought of my basic skills compared to his.
"Please?" He literally begged, his eyes getting wide and innocent as he pouted at me. Jesus, he looked like Alice did! I still couldn't say no. I had to build a resistance to this thing at some point.
I caved, sighing and nodding as I turned back to the piano and tried to ignore his presence. It was how I always played. I hated people watching me play, so I imagined it was just me, quite easy when you get absorbed in the music.
He stopped playing as I began to tap the same key over and over again as I thought, unconsciously starting to press others and start the beginning of a tune I had only played in my mind. When I was bored or... scared, I would pass the time and try to ignore the fear by thinking of lyrics and tunes. It helped sometimes.
It was a sad song, and every time I even played it in my head I started crying but I felt like I had to play it. It meant so much to me, it needed to get out of my mind and into reality.
Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved
If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again
I couldn't help the tears that fell down my cheeks, but I was glad my voice stayed strong, my finger never faltered. It was true. When I was younger my Dad would grab me and swing me around, singing horribly out of tune to some song as we all laughed. I was glad I knew the piano keys well enough to even know where the right key was when the note was in my mind. Edward was silent beside me, and I appreciated it.
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He d make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end,
Cause I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again
I hesitated for a moment, my hands hovering above the keys for a second before I carried on. The next part didn't happen, it wasn't true, but if things had happened differently I knew it would have played out that way.
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear her, mama cryin' for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm prayin' for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don't do it usually
But Lord, she's dyin' to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream
All the memories came back, the smiles, the laughs, the holidays, the dancing and singing. It was so bitter sweet that I was torn between laughing and crying. Crying won out, and I couldn't help the sob that choked out of my throat as I lost it completely.
I was vaguely aware of someone holding me and rocking, hushing me as I buried my face in their neck and let it all out.
I had cried for my mother when I met Esme and saw where I was, I cried for my brothers after playing with Jasper and Emmett and having fun. But I hadn't cried for my father. We didn't do anything together, we didn't go out or have 'daddy-daughter time', but I was always a daddy's girl. He never cried, was always so calm and collected, it was hard to accept that someone so strong was gone.
But it hit me like a rock right now. Like it had just happened. I guess getting that song out wasn't a good thing after all.
"That was beautiful Bella" Edward whispered as he ran his fingers through my hair. I couldn't answer, my throat feeling about twice its usual size. So I settled for hugging him even tighter to me as my arms were around his neck. I knew he could be in pain, that he might be fighting the urge to kill me, but I didn't care.
The pain that was ripping through me was agonizing. Raw, hollow, never ending pain.
I faintly heard the piano being played, but most of it was lost in my sobs. But from the parts I did get, I recognised it as the song that had lulled me to sleep and I tried to calm myself down to hear it for myself. It took a while, but my mind was suitably distracted for the moment as I forced all thought of my father from my mind and concentrated on the melody that floated through the room.
It was even more beautiful when it was being played live. The sadness, the excitement, the sorrow, the total abandon and raw emotions filled the room as Edward continued to play. I became silent, even my quiet hiccups disappearing as I listened intently to him playing. I understood why he had difficulty putting words to the tune, it was so full and fast I doubt words could portray what he had shown through the music.
"Hey... you okay?" I hadn't realised he had finished until he spoke, and I hesitantly raised my head and looked at him, hiding a grimace as I saw his wet shirt shoulder. Oops.
I settled for a shrug as an answer. No I wasn't okay. I wanted my Dad, I wanted him to walk in and swing me into his arms and take me back home to my family. But I knew that that was never going to happen.
I wasn't going to fall apart, I had mastered the art of hiding these emotions. Like when sometimes Carlisle spoke to me so gently and caring it reminded me of my own Dad, I pushed back the pain and tears and just basked in the fact that he cared.
And I did just. I could still feel the pain running beneath the surface, but I knew that if I concentrated on something else then the pain would numb itself until it came back. I settled myself down, only realising a moment later that Edward was staring at me, making me blush a little.
"It's bound to hurt Bella, no-one can go through what you have and come out unscathed" He whispered, wiping away the tear trails with his thumb as I stared at him dumbly, not taking in his words at all. The pain seemed to create some sort of armour around my mind that stopped anything else from getting it, only Carlisle and the piano had actually managed to break through it.
"Can you play something for me?" I asked croakily, not wanting to tell him that any kind of cheering-up he had planned wouldn't work. I needed Carlisle and his wise words to make the pain go away. Yes, Edward and the others had helped, but they had numbed it, temporarily distracted me. Carlisle told me straight on and made my fears and worries go away.
Edward nodded worriedly at my request and I turned and slid back to the seat next to him on the bench as he began to play.
It was beautiful of course, and I couldn't help but become entranced with his fingers as they blurred slightly across the keys. I felt my hand twitch slightly, wanting to play as well but I restrained myself.
"Go on" Edward chuckled, and I looked at him as he nodded towards the piano he was still playing.
I knew the tune by now, and already had a melody in my mind to play with it. I began hesitantly, using only one hand and moving slowly and shakily as I played with him but after a while, and realising that it sounded pretty good, I sat up a little straighter and using both hands.
It was amazing. I had never played with someone before, my many piano teachers preferring to stand and watch rather than join in. I always thought of playing piano as a spiritual thing, or at least it was when you composed something. Because it came from your heart and mind, and it means something to you and you alone, all anyone else can do is interpret it.
But playing with Edward was different. I had no idea where this melody was going, but we were just playing together, passing emotions and thoughts between us. I let my melody reflect my mind and mood for a moment when I thought of my father, becoming lighter when I thought of the Cullen's.
Edward was much the same. His own melody would change quickly, the pace speedy at places but then slow and peaceful. Both were so alike in their content, yet so different in their notes. They fit together perfectly.
We both finished together, sitting in silence for a moment as the last notes rang around the room fading into nothing.
"That sounded pretty good" I chirped, trying to dispel the heavy and serious silence that had fallen on us.
"Yeah, it was. It was nice to just play like that" He chuckled and I nodded in agreement, stopping only when my stomach growled loudly, making me blush and Edward laugh.
"Come on, let's get you fed" He chuckled, standing behind the bench as I turned around as well, looking dubiously at his hands again. With a heavy sigh and an eye roll I put my hands in his and let him help me stand. I was glad that my legs remained strong, but they still shook, something Edward had noticed too as he slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me to his side as we walked out the room.
"I like your piano" I mumbled a little randomly before he shut the door and blocked it from view by the offending piece of wood.
"So do I. Besides, it not mine" He told me, walking up the steps and into the kitchen and sitting me on a bar stool at the island as he sat next to me.
"But you said..." I frowned in confusion.
"I call it mine because I'm the only one who bothers playing it. Rosalie can play too but she never does, I'm the one that has taken it up as a hobby" He explained and I nodded vaguely, quietly filing away the fact that Rosalie could play as well for later use.
"So... does that mean that I can play it too?" I asked, shocking myself by being so direct. I usually skirted around the subject, letting everyone else figure out the real question. I relaxed once I saw him nod and smile.
"Right... what do you want to eat?" The sentence itself was alright, but the worried look on his face said other things. I remembered with a horror that they didn't eat food, and hadn't for God knows how long. I was glad all I had asked for was toast. Though I did wonder who made the cheesy potato. Maybe Esme...
"Don't worry Edward, I can cook you know" I smirked, noting how he relaxed a little.
"Yeah but you can barely walk" He pointed out, and I huffed not needing the reminder of my disability.
"How about we go halves. I can't cook for my existence, but I have working legs. You can cook but can't- okay, I won't let you walk around the kitchen. You direct, I do" He compromised and I took a moment to review the prospects of controlling a vampire. The very idea had me almost giggling but I nodded anyway.
For someone so weak and small be in control of someone so strong and powerful seemed hilarious to me, but if it got me fed...
"Alright Edward, get a medium sized pan and fill it with water, then put it on the cooker at a medium heat" I told him with an amused smile as he blurred around the kitchen, coming to a stop a moment later next to the cooker, and it shocked me to see the pan already there. Would I ever get used to the fact they blur?
"Wait for it to boil" I added, giggling at the downcast look on his face when I spoke.
"I thought food smelt disgusting to you" I enquired, cringing when he leaned on the cooker, his arm dangerously close to the heated ring.
"It does, but you need to get some food in you" He pointed out and I just rolled my eyes at his reply.
"How long was in there?" I asked, watching and relaxing when he stood up straight and away from the cooker.
"Well I left about three hours ago" He shrugged nonchalantly, but I gaped a little before shaking my head. Maybe it was too easy to get lost in the music.
"Can... can I ask you something?" He blurted out and I nodded a little cautiously.
"You know that song you sung about your father?" He asked gently, and I understood his hesitation. I simply nodded.
"Well... it was about loosing your father, which happened before you left, and you've only been here and the hospital since. So... I was just wondering... when did you write it?" He stuttered out, but despite his hesitant words his eyes burned with curiosity.
"Well... when... when I'd get scared at night, I'd try to think of the song to distract me. After a while I finished it and..." I shrugged as he frowned, moving so that he was instead leaning on the counter behind me.
"You didn't write it down?" He asked with a frown and I shook my head.
"I never write down songs, I find it confusing trying to remember everything. It all stays up here" I tapped my head and giggled a little when he gaped.
"I did wonder why you played three songs with no music in front of you" He smiled wryly.
"So you heard all three?" I sighed, mentally kicking myself and cursing my bad logic of 'they won't hear me'. He said he'd be close. Stupid me!
"I heard you start playing and got here in the middle of the first one" He looked a little guilty "I stayed up here and listened for a while" He admitted.
"It's alright, but... I'd prefer it if the others didn't know" I mumbled a little embarrassed about my request. I didn't like people watching me, and I had to ignore their existence like I had done earlier with Edward. I just felt like the Cullen's knew everything about me, where as I have only scratched the surface on them. I wanted to keep something for myself, it was only fair.
"I understand. Playing can be..." He trailed away, scratching the back of his head again.
"Private" I concluded quietly, Edward nodding a little in agreement.
He left after a moment to go check the water, a thick silence filling the kitchen.
"I still can't believe you don't write anything down" He grumbled as he walked past me.
"Pour in some pasta twists!" I called as his head disappeared in a cupboard, and I heard several more quiet grumbled that I couldn't quite make out.
"But, how did you do it? How many songs have you done?" He frowned, walking past me and to the cooker, thankfully walking at a normal human speed. No blurring.
"Quite a few" I shrugged, honestly not wanting to try and count them all.
"But if it makes you feel any better, I did write one down. My first one. They made me though so..." I trailed off, tracing circles into the marble work top as I remembered the first 'jamming session' as people call it.
"Who's 'they'?" He asked, returning the pasta bag to the cupboard.
"Err... my friends. They caught me singing and playing and forced me to write it down" A smirk appearing on my face as I remembered the threats they used.
"Why?" Poor Edward looked so lost and confused as he closed the cupboard door and stood leaning against the counters staring at me.
"They wanted to see if they could join in" I sighed noting Edward's even more confused face.
"They all played some instrument. Paige played drums, Becky and Sarah played guitar and Jess, Lauren and Jess sung. They were way better than me but neither of them had the confidence to song on their own so I became the lead" I shrugged again, Edward moving and sitting on the stool in front of me again.
"So... you were like a band?" He pushed, his eyes bright as a smile crept up his face.
"I guess so"
"Did you have any gigs?" He continued, and I wondered why Edward was getting so excited about this.
"Er... Yeah, every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday we'd play at this club. People seemed to like us" I added quietly, remembering the cheering and dancing. I found it fun, the different styles of people you found. Some nights it was slow, love music, others it was rocky, hard bass dark music. Because of the diversity of the crowd, I wrote songs for every style of people that came.
"Wow" He whispered, staring at me with wide eyes.
"I wish I could have been there to see you all playing" He smiled sadly, and I couldn't help but laugh a little.
"You sound like Paige. After the first week she recorded all of our gigs. Her excuse was 'just in case we get famous and need them'" I snorted, trying to imagine any of my friends famous, living the high life. I couldn't.
"Can I see them?" And he did it again. The eyes. They got big and round, full of innocence and pleading.
"I don't want you to see them" I mumbled, getting a little lost in his eyes, the colour a beautiful butterscotch.
"Please?" He pouted a little, his eyes growing even bigger and I lost my argument. Jesus Christ!
"Fine!" I huffed as he blurred away "You have to stop doing that to me! It's not fair!" I yelled at thin air, crossing my arms over my chest as he sauntered back in the kitchen with a lap top in his hands. I turned around till my knees were against the wood and I put my elbows on the cold marble, resting my head in my hands.
I watched out of the corner of my eyes as he put the lap top in front of himself as he sat down next to me, pressing a few buttons before turning the thing to me.
"Come on! You said you would!" He whined childishly, so much so that I couldn't help but laugh a little and pull the lap top closer, typing in YouTube in the address thing. Yeah, I'm good with computers.
"Why Youtube?" Edward asked beside me, leaning closely since I had pulled the lap top so close he couldn't see the screen anymore. Pushing it away a little I logged in, turning it slightly so that it was between us.
"Another one of Paige's ideas. She thought that some agent or something would see us and get us a record contract" I giggled at that, thinking how ridiculous it was.
"She had a point. A lot of talent is picked up that way" He agreed, staring at the screen critically as he saw the many videos of our gigs and... other things. There were other videos that the others put on since this was the 'band' Youtube account, we could all add to it. So there were videos of school, sleep overs, and just random times.
"Where do you wanna start?" I asked, not pausing as I scrolled down the page.
"At the beginning" He concluded and I sent a sarcastic smirk his way before going straight to the bottom and clicking the first video.
I was on edge through the whole thing, suddenly turning critical as I saw myself on stage. I began analysing every mistake, something I had never done with these videos. All of us watched them after the gig together, but we always laughed and joked about mess ups. But with Edward watching silently beside me it was different.
He was a talented musician, he could tell good from bad. He wouldn't get the laughs and joked I used to have with my friends.
Something else he failed to mention was the fact that I had to listen to my own voice on the speakers, blasting it out in the kitchen. I cringed a lot, but watched the screen all the same. However, it wasn't me I was looking at.
I watched the others. Jess, Lauren and Jess laughing and falling about when they did a chorus, Paige going crazy during an instrumental faze, Sarah and Becky battling at one point. They looked crazy, we all did as we laughed and joked around on stage casually as if there was no crowd. It made me realise how much fun we had, how close we were... and how much I missed them.
"Edward, the pasta is boiling over" I nudged him, making him jump a little before he zoomed off, coming back in two seconds once he had turned the ring down, staring at the screen again.
The video ended, and I was suddenly filled with self consciousness and a lot of shyness. I never even let my Mum see those even when she begged, simply because I didn't want to be told I was bad.
"You were really good" Edward told me, poking me as I stared at the floor, making me look up at his kind smile.
"Play some others while I get this ready" He ordered gently with a smile, letting me know I could go against him if I wanted. But I didn't. For some reason I wanted his approval and his critique.
I told him what to do, laughing as he drained the tuna. I took the task of mixing it with salad cream and cucumber, not wanting him to be too disgusted. He managed to keep the revolted look from his face, but I saw the distasteful looks he gave the innocent plastic bowl he put in front of me and I pulled onto my lap. We sat in silence, me eating and Edward glancing between me and the screen every five seconds. I sat innocently, swinging my legs a little glad to find the action pain free as I hummed along with the songs.
I munched it all down as Edward watched me... almost seeming to be fascinated by it. I cleared my throat after a moment and he looked a little guilty and embarrassed as he went back to watching the screen. I resisted a smirk. If he were human he would be blushing.
"We make a good team" I concluded, Edward taking the bowl from my hands before I could do anything to stop him.
"Well you aren't growling at me anymore" He teased as he paused the video and folded the lap top before holding a hand out to me. I took it but was confused as to where we would be going. I found out a moment later when he sat me down on the sofa and I couldn't help but let out a satisfied sigh. This sofa was so comfy, you almost melted into it.
Edward sat next to me heavily, making me bounce slightly as he put the laptop on one of his and one of my knees so that it was between us.
I started singing along sometimes, quietly of course. I only belted songs out when I had music just as loud as me. He asked questions like what people thought of us, who certain people where. I found it especially funny when he glared at Bill when he appeared in front of the camera that Paige had set up on a small platform at the back of the club, letting the camera get a clear shot of the stage but you could still see the crowd.
"Calm down, that's just Bill" I giggled as he gaped at me. I couldn't blame him.
Gill was thickly built, but it was all muscle. He had a shaved head, a wife beater shirt and ripped trousers, and insisted on walking around chewing chewing gum all the time. But it was the scars on his face and tattoos all over his arms, neck and head that made people wary of him. I was one of them.
But after about an hour, after we had 'auditioned' to play in his club, he hugged me and told me that we made it. Yeah, Bill was a teddy bear at heart. Still... I wouldn't mess with him.
"He's cool" I added, watching as he grabbed some drunken man that was trying to climb on stage and dragged him away by the back of his shirt, ignoring the mans slurred insults and lazy struggle to get free.
"Who's that? Bella why are you glaring at the screen?" Edward asked, pausing the video and I could see him watching me from the corner of my eye.
Because there, on the screen, was Kyle.
"Because the arsehole is on it" I growled out, willing a hole to appear in the screen in the exact place where his pixelated head was.
"The boy your dueting with?" He asked, his voice full of concern and curiosity.
"Yeah. The Ex. The arsehole" I nodded a little. I met Kyle at school when I was thirteen, when I first went to Scunthorpe. He was nice, but he hung with the 'populars', and he was going out with Jodie. But that didn't stop him from flirting with me, something that Jodie was not oblivious to and that only fed her hate for me.
All the girls liked him, he was tall, dark, clever, witty, and very suave. The top of the top. It was only natural that the two top people go together.
And about ten minutes before he left school for good, he dumped Jodie and asked me out. I know I should have said no and the fact that he asked me out minutes after dumping Jodie should have been a sign, but he was the biggest hottie in the school and I was flattered he even gave me the time of day. Plus, he was a college guy now. Even better.
I found out he was in a band and worked at The Light, and he got our little 'band' an audition to play there. I guess I owed him, but I still hate his guts.
"The song would be good if he wasn't singing the male part" I glared at him, actually getting angry because he had ruined the song. It was a good song, and when we were going it was the perfect song for us but now... he ruined it.
"Is it safer for me not to ask?" He asked with a small smile and I smirked as I shook my head sadly, knowing he wouldn't understand the drama of teenage life.
He thankfully turned the video onto the next one and we became silent once again. I was startled a little by a shrill ringing, Edward simply laughing as he handed me my phone. I peeked at it curiously, finding the screen lit up and the words 'Alice is calling' on the front. After an encouraging nod from Edward as I hesitantly pressed the 'accept' button and put the phone to my ear.
"Alice, why are you calling me?" There was no anger or irritation in my voice, but Alice and I were definitely not close. In fact, after I hid away straight after she confessed to us being best friends soon I would expect her to be offended. But even if she needed to get in contact with us, she could always call Edward.
"I was just so worried that you had left and then you'd be all alone and lost and then we would be distraught and we'd go looking for you, but you'd get upset and we'd get upset and nothing would get solved and then-" She rambled on and on and I held the phone away from my ear and waited for the constant buzzing of her voice to die down.
It didn't, and after about twenty five seconds of straight talking I decided that the poor girl needed to breath. Was it possible for vampires to pass out because I knew that if she were human she would be out cold by now.
"Alice? Alice!" I started yelling simply because she wasn't listening and wouldn't stop jabbering on and on about how upset they would be if I left.
"ALICE!" I screeched, taking a deep breath once I realised the screech had taken all my air. I was pleasantly surprised by the total silence in the room, even Alice was silent and I even checked the screen to see if she had put the phone down.
"Jesus Bella you have a good set of lungs on you!" I heard Emmett laugh over the phone as I realised that the vibrating that was encompassing the sofa was from Edward's chest because he was suppressing laughter. I rolled my eyes and sighed as he let it out and it echoed around the room.
"Why thank you Emmett, it's not everyday a girl gets complimented on her lung capacity" I told him sarcastically as the laughter died down a little.
"Er... where did Alice go?" I asked, wondering if my ignoring her and my yelling had made her mad. I had been quite rude to her.
"You scared her off actually. We heard you from a mile away Bella, that was how loud you were and Alice was right next to the phone" I heard Carlisle chuckle and I actually blushed even though they weren't here.
"Oops" I muttered guiltily "But she wouldn't stop! I did it for her own health, she was going to either pass out or give herself a heart attack, which would be interesting since she can't have them..." I let my voice drift off as I imagined a vampire having a heart attack. It didn't go.
"Bella?" Alice's sing song voice came across the line and I cringed as I mentally prayed that she didn't start again.
"Yes Alice?" I managed to keep my voice polite, yet I couldn't help but think it was slightly mocking since I was joking casually with Em and Carlisle not a moment before.
"Sorry for going on and on and on. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and you weren't going to go anywhere" She was almost shy as she spoke, and I could just imagine the puppy dog eyes she was giving the phone.
"It's okay Alice. How did you know about that anyway?" I frowned, hitting myself mentally when I realised that Emmett was there and it was him that I had confessed it all too. Of course they would know. Wait... he told them? I had to admit, it hurt to know he would just go and tell them something that had me so torn up over.
"Oh er... I don't know. But we'll be back at three twenty seven tomorrow morning" I cast my eyes at the darkening world outside the windows before my brain actually kicked in and I frowned in confusion again. Why had she been so specific about the 'twenty seven'? Usually people just say 'about three or four in the morning'
"Okay... how do you know that?" I asked hesitantly, wondering if they had cameras in here or something. Of course that wouldn't tell them the precise time they would be home.
"I'll explain that later Bella" Edward told me quietly and I nodded, accepting it and not letting my annoyance leak out. I didn't like being left out! But I guess it might not be any of my business. They were vampires after all, they were bound to have secrets.
"Can you put Edward on a minute Bella please?" She asked nicely and I handed the phone to him, not knowing what to do since he had paused the video and I didn't want to eavesdrop.
"Thank you Alice... Yes I will... Yes, I'm sure... Alice! It's fine!... Yes I remembered!... Your amount of faith warms me dear sister" He rolled his eyes and I smirked at the casual talk in their conversations. I don't know what I expected, but this was not how I expected vampires to talk to each other.
I let my head fall back on the sofa as I closed my eyes, feeling sleepy when I did so. Damn this exhaustion!
"Yep... see you later Alice" I heard a small sigh as a weight was lifted from my knee and it took me a second to remember the presence of the laptop.
"You need to get ready for bed" I heard Edward sigh again and I opened my eyes a little to glare at him. The very idea of steps had me shuddering. Honestly, with all this money you'd think they would have a lift or at least an escalator.
"No. Comfy. Sleepy. I will eat you if you move me" I mumbled, trying to open my eyes to glare at him, stopping my attempts when I heard his chuckle. I liked his laugh, it sounded so much like music that it could probably lull me to sleep.
"You're not even going to get changed?" He laughed a little as I lazily shook my head, yawning again and snuggling deeper back into the sofa.
"Alright" I heard him sigh before I was slowly picked up and then laid back down, my head slightly raised as my legs were laid below me. I recognised this place. The sofa. Hhmmm....
"I need my knight in shining armor" I mumbled as I felt something soft and thick being laid over me again. Did it enter my mind that I had just invited a vampire who found me rather appetizing to sleep beside me all night? Not for a second. Maybe there was something wrong with me...
Surprisingly, I heard no arguments, instead I was pushed back a little but fell forward again as the sofa dipped, signalling Edwards arrival as my sofa mate. Two small thuds meant his shoes were on the floor, and a sigh meant... something I didn't understand.
I felt none of the fear I usually did before sleep, I felt safe. Maybe it was this that I needed. Contact. To know I wasn't alone. Perhaps...
I quickly crawled onto his chest, resting my head in the middle, round about where his heart should have been, but of course there was no beating.
"Sorry. You're comfy" I remembered that I was tasty to him and now that I was petrified that James was going to kill me as soon as I closed my eyes, he may not want me sleeping on him.
"It's alright. The warmth is amazing" He whispered back as I felt his arms weight running all the way down my back to my hip since his arm was around me, but I didn't feel the frigid temperature thanks to the blanket.
"Get some sleep Bella, you need it" He whispered and I hummed in agreement, letting my hand rest on his chest since it had nowhere else to go unless it wanted to be laid on.
It didn't take me long to fall asleep, especially since I was exhausted, and the usual fear wasn't plaguing my mind.
xxxxx
Unfortunately... it also didn't take me long to wake up.
"It's so weird to see him like that" I heard Emmett's child like whisper, wanting to tell him that his 'whispering voice' was just as loud, possibly even louder thanks to the breathiness but I wanted sleep more.
"Aw... they make such a good couple" I heard Alice sigh.
That woke me up.
"Excuse me?" I yawned, opening my eyes and was pleased I could distinguish Alice from the other blobs in the room. It was still early morning, they had probably just got back.
"Er... nothing" I may not have been able to see her face but her voice was sure as hell guilty. Me and Edward? A couple? Yes, he is very cute and handsome, and probably the easiest vampire -barring Carlisle of course- I have been able to get along with. But he is a vampire. That sort of kills any relationship possibilities with that little tit bit.
I was broken out of my imagination of me and Edward together when the world suddenly exploded and my eyes burned. Who the hell decided to turn the lights on?
"Ow" I moaned as I hid my head in Edward's chest till I was used to the brightness, then I squinted at the Cullen's that were stood around me. Okay.. slightly creepy.
"How long have you all been stood there watching me sleep, 'cos I have to tell you... you're not doing anything to help kill the vampire stereotype" Yeah... I wasn't very cheerful in the morning, especially when being woken up at God knows what time.
"We just got in" Jasper chuckled, at me and I rested my head on Edward so that the world was turned sideways. He was comfy.
"You two look so cu-" I glared at Emmett as I heard the beginning of the word. Cute was babies, cute was bunny rabbits and puppy dogs, not humans!
"Er... well you know" He finished lamely, everyone else laughing at him.
Wait a minute... Was Edward asleep?
I smirked at the possibilities of this, slowly turning my head and looking at him with his eyes closed and his face all relaxed.
"Wow. That is so weird" I breathed as I stared at him.
Until... I can't believe it. It was not funny in the slightest, but it seems everyone else found it highly amusing.
He opened his eyes when I was inches from him, totally freaking me out and making me shit myself -not literally of course. I may have screamed a little, but I was way too freaked to remember anything that happened in those first five seconds.
I simply buried my face in his neck as his stomach heaved with laughter, his shoulders shaking and his arms - which must have wrapped around me at some point- tightening around me as I tried to breath evenly.
"That was so not funny!" I tried to tell them but they were all still laughing at me.
"Sorry Bella... I couldn't pass up the chance" Edward chuckled after he managed to calm himself down a little. Poor Jasper was still having trouble, havign to deal with every ones amusement as well as his own.
"This means war Cullen" I yawned, totally loosing my threat as I stretched a little under the blanket and sighed as I settled back down again. Even with my face buried in his chest he was still comfortable.
"Bella why aren't you in bed?" Carlisle sounded rather serious about this, and I realised after a moment that he didn't know about mine and Edward's little excursion.
"Stairs" I yawned, pretty happy with my explanation. It made sense to me.
"He's right Bella, you should be in bed" Edward shifted beneath me but I groaned and clung onto his shirt with renewed strength.
"No. Stay here. Here's nice" I mumbled, keeping my eyes closed and my face in his chest as I snuggled down further under the blanket.
"You can stay here if you can give me one logical reason for not going to bed" Edward chuckled but once again my mind conjured up some random responce that seemed highly logical and intelligent in my own mind. Not so much out loud...
"Stairs go against nature. They even contradict Isaac Newton's theory of gravity, and thus against the scientific laws and nature" I concluded, amazed that I remembered what my old science teacher had told me. And she said I never listened!
"Is it bad that I actually understand that and agree that she has a point?" I heard Jasper whisper quietly and smiled at my victory, letting my mind grow heavy and dark as I fell asleep once more, not really caring that seven vampires were in the room with me.
It seemed only a moment later that I was partially woken and I groaned in annoyance as it felt like the earth was moving beneath me. Does Fork's get earthquakes?
"Sorry Bella, I just have to go and talk to the others for a minute. Go back to sleep" He whispered softly, and I felt a cold hand on my cheek as cold lips were pressed to my temple. I simply hummed before rolling over and getting comfy, feeling a little lost and lonely without Edward here but sleep would not be ignored.
Once again I fell to sleep, and once again pure blackness filled my mind. It was bliss. No worries, no thoughts, no fears, and most importantly, no James. But I knew it couldn't last.
xxx
It wasn't long before images moved out of the darkness and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, whether it was real or not. Once again I found myself running, just endless running through the streets I had walked so many times to friends houses or to shops. My old home.
I never saw what haunted me, what hunted me, but I felt the terror. Just flickers, ghostly shadows that moved, shadows that belonged to no visible object. They followed me, but I never stopped. I ran and ran even though I knew I could never out run them. They would always be there, watching and waiting for me, for the right moment.
I didn't even notice where I was running until I saw my house, or what was my house. Flames blasted out of the upstairs windows, licking up at the guttering and roof, the downstairs just a heated haze of yellow and black, crackling and burning in the silence of the night. Was this how it happened? How my house was destroyed?
My feet carried me forward despite me waiting nothing more than to run in the opposite direction. Perhaps it was subconscious morbid curiosity, but as I walked to the living room windows I couldn't tear my eyes away.
Through the black billowing smoke, the flames and the waves of heat, a pile of black was clearly visible. Others might have thought nothing of it but I knew the true horrors. That was what was left of my family and I watched with frozen horror as flames engulfed them too.
Smoke surrounded me yet I felt no need to cough like you usually do. But I couldn't see. Everything was so distant and distorted and I turned this way and that, I realised that I didn't even know which way my house was anymore.
A sudden cold sensation swept over my face and cheeks and I touched the areas with shaking hands, feeling nothing but my own skin. But the ghostly touches didn't stop. I felt them on my neck, my wrists, my ankles, my stomach.
I was panicking as I tried to get away from things I couldn't see or get rid of. What if they were inside me?
A cold hand met my shoulder and I screamed, because it wasn't a ghostly touch anymore, I could feel the weight of their hand pushing down on my shoulder. Because I knew without a doubt who it was. And when I turned and looked into those crimson eyes and saw that sadistic smirk on his lips I knew I was going to die.
"I told you I'd be back Bella" His voices sounded distant, like through a telephone with a bad connection.
I backed away from him but he made no move to follow, simply watching me with those red eyes like an eagle stalking its prey. I tried to run but I never got any further from him, smoke filled my eyes and closed in around me, blocking out even the entity I feared the most. I could not see him.
But his laughter rang loud and clear in my ears as I turned around to try to find him, only finding black. He was here, I could hear him, I could smell him, but I couldn't see him.
But then I heard something though I couldn't say what it was. Like... like a hum, a deep hum that stopped and started irregularly. I felt arms around me, not holding me down or restraining, but comforting. I smelt, not only Jame's scent but another, yet I couldn't pin point the source. But James will not be ignored.
"I'll find you, you know I will. And when I do I'm going to make you pay for taking my meal from me. I might even settle a anger with some of your vampire friends. Such loving people, such easy targets" His voice snarled and I put my hands over my ears to try to keep the noise out. I couldn't listen to this, I couldn't. I couldn't listen to the truth as I know it to be, that in the end the Cullen's would get hurt because of me.
"One by one. I'll make you watch as they beg for mercy at my feet, and then when you have nothing to live for, no ounce of strength or will, only then will I take you. Only after you suffer" The voice was getting closer, always closer and louder in my ears.
Until the last words were whispered against my neck, his frozen breath hitting me and I was frozen besides my trembling body.
"Enjoy it while you can" He whispered, his voice suddenly seeming far away and I turned around shakily, gasping when I saw him merely ten meters from me with a gun. My Dad's gun. He smirked, clicking something on it before pointing it at me and tilting his head to the side.
I begged, I cried and sobbed just for him to stop, to let me go, to let me live. But my pleas fell on deaf ears as he continued to stare at me intently, amusement evident in his eyes.
"Say goodbye" I didn't see his expression since I had closed my eyes and was currently begging and praying for God to spare me. I had never been to church, hadn't even been christened but right now I was willing to do anything.
So when I opened my eyes and met his gaze evenly I didn't let the tears run, not being able to stop them, but I bit my lip to hold in the fear and sobs.
The last thing I saw was his smirk before he pulled the trigger, the almighty 'bang' still ringing in my ears as my eyes flew open and I met something very bright that I shut my eyes against immediately upon opening them.
I was surrounded by total and utter silence, not one breath or a stir of anything. I was too confused to even remember where I was, who I was. I could feel the wetness of my cheeks and neck so I knew I had been crying, my body trembled harshly around me and I gritted my teeth in my effort to stop it. It was a fruitless attempt.
I couldn't remember what happened last, whether I was in hospital, or at Carlisle's house, or in James' hands. But the nightmare had me on edge, terrified and jumpy. The silence frightened me, especially when I know that James' moved as quiet as a feather. I tried to push the fear to the back of my mind but it was impossible.
There dancing behind my closed eyelids was James and his smirk, sending another round of panic through me. I could feel my heartbeat in my entire body, my arms, my legs, everywhere. I felt like I was pulsating. It took me a moment to realise that cold arms were encasing me, holding me down, restraining me.
Thoughts of comfort flew out of my mind as pure terror and panic took control of my mind and body, my own thoughts being to get away from what ever it is. I wasn't sure what I would do if I got away, but I had to get away.
Even nothing would break the hold they had and every second had my panic increasing. All I could think of was James. He was cold, like the arms around me. He wanted me dead, he wanted to capture me and never let me go, like the person is doing now.
"Bella... Bella just... just calm down!" I didn't care that it was Edward, that I was in the Cullen's house. None of that mattered. I had to get away, I had to escape.
But I couldn't. I couldn't get away. They wouldn't let me. I knew. I knew that I couldn't run, that I couldn't hide. That one day I would meet my end, and it would be torture because I ran. This was my fault, I did this to myself. If I had just stayed there, accepted my fate, then none of this would have happened.
I deserved this.
So I let my hands fall onto their chest, still fisted, in defeat. I let the sobs that I had been forcing down burst forth, I let my body untense and relax as I tried to curl up in a ball as I quickly fell apart.
Was this payback? God's way of giving me the equivalent of what I should have gotten? Death? Eternal torture?
"Sh... Bella" I could hear Edward as the arms around me tightened but I didn't react. He didn't understand, no matter how much I told him. He wasn't there, he didn't see. And it was then that I needed Carlisle, not my doctor, but the man who saved me in more ways than one.
No less than a second later I felt the arms disappear and myself being moved. I didn't bother to open my eyes, not caring enough. Maybe they realised how dangerous I am to them, finally.
But another pair of cold arms wrapped around me as I was sat on their lap, but it wasn't that that made me feel safe or even the slightest bit better. It was when they gently held my face to their neck and I recognised the scent of Carlisle that I let down all the barriers of fear that I had placed in my mind, letting it all spill out.
"Come on Bella" His voice was quieter than a whisper in my ear, his hands gently trying to pry my fisted hands open. I was trying to control myself, to rein it back in, to salvage some dignity or something.
"Let it out Bella, you've held it all on for too long now" And with his words I remembered the wise old owl and I told everything to my third night. The one who never judged or lied to me, who was there when I needed and even when I didn't, just in case. The one who I trusted even after all the evidence that should have had me running for the hills.
Carlisle was the one thing I knew to be real, the one thing I could rely on.
I let my arms snake around my neck, instead, grabbing of the back of handful of his shirt as I buried my face in his neck and cried and shook and sobbed and let it all out.
The guilt, the sadness, the grief, the remorse, the terror, the embarrassment, the bitterness, the jealousy, the confusion, the anger... everything.
He would protect me, he would keep me safe.
He promised.
I wasn't sure how this one would be received so... yeah :) Bella and Edward! So adorable!
Someone mentioned that she would, naturally, trust Carlisle more than anyone else and I agreed! So I think there will be a chapter with Carlisle x Bella/ father x daughter bonding. Cute!
Review!