A/N: I am a truly terrible person: firstly I haven't updated for ages, secondly I wrote this chapter and posted it on AO3 but forgot to upload here! Anywho, in recompense I will be posting chapter 11 tonight as well - you're welcome!

Thanks to everyone for reading and stocking with this slow-burner. This chapter is a bit of a filler and to set up for later chapters/close of some loose ends - no Destiel interactions but Cas re-enters next chapter!

~Chapter 10~

Dean allowed himself a split-second of disappointment when Meg brought the support group meeting to a close and the Colonel still hadn't shown. It had been two weeks since the meeting where Cas had unintentionally triggered Dean's panic attack and he had hoped to get the chance to see the guy again to prove he wasn't a total mess. He also wanted to prove to himself that he was getting better and could stay in control of his anxiety and fears.

There were a few instances in the last two weeks that had Dean convinced he'd regressed a few weeks, losing all his hard work with a flashback or anxiety attack. But overall, both Chuck and Al were happy that he was improving at a good rate, and he'd been given a set of crutches to use in the house when he felt up to it. It was a small win.

"Dean," Meg called through the small crowd to stop his escape.

He waited in place for the brunette to catch him up instead of trying to turn around, mentally calming himself down as people brushed past him.

"Good session tonight," She smiled walking around into his line of sight. "You seem a lot better."

Dean huffed out a self-deprecating laugh. "Yeah, right."

"Don't do that Winchester," Meg frowned. "You're getting better. So you'll never be 100% you again, but you'll get close. Every single person here is still working through their shit, some have been coming for years. 98% of the time they're hunky dory."

Dean scowled. "I don't do hunky dory."

"Trust me, I'm a doctor."

"And I'm Taylor Swift." He cocked an eyebrow, challenging her statement.

Meg smirked and started walking away. "I like you, Winchester. You're good people."

Dean smiled and started pushing himself toward the door, a second later Garth was at his side. They walked, or wheeled in Dean's case, in silence through the corridor towards the exit of the building.

"I'm sorry," Dean said as the younger man held the door open for him. "About the medical, you know."

Garth had revealed earlier that he'd failed his medical and was being retired from the army.

"It is what it is," he sighed. "Like my mama always said, when one door closes you better grab that bull by the horns so it don't crash through the wall and make another one."

"That makes no sense."

Garth laughed. "I know, right? She got a bit confused over analogies but the sentiment was there."

Dean coasted down the ramp and along the path, making the other man jog to catch up. "So what are you going to do now?"

"Maybe go to school. Go back home… I always fancied being a dentist." Garth mused. "How about you?"

Dean was surprised at the question. It was the first time anyone had asked about his future, it was the first time he'd had to consider what he was going to do now he'd been discharged from the Marines. Everyone's focus was on getting Dean back to 'normal' but no one had thought about what happens after that, at least they hadn't said it out loud.

"I have no idea, man." Dean shrugged. "Haven't thought about it. I mean, I want to go on a road trip around the US as soon as I'm cleared to drive but after that…"

"Well you can't do nothing for the rest of your life." Garth stopped next to his pickup truck. "It's been nice knowing you, Dean."

"You too, stay out of trouble." Dean smiled and offered his hand.

Garth pushed the hand aside and leant down to hug Dean. It took Dean a second to realise what was happening, but he eventually patted the younger man's back with a smile.

"I hope you're back on your feet soon," Garth said pulling back. "I'll be calling to see how you're doing."

Dean waved Garth off as the pickup sped out of the car park before turning to wheel across to where Sam was leaning against Dean's 67 Chevrolet Impala.

"Dude, you drove my car!" Dean cried out chasing his brother away. "What the hell?"

"I thought you'd be missing her! Bobby dropped her by tonight, said she was good as new but was taking up too much room at the yard." Sam laughed running around to the other side of the trunk to put a barrier between himself and his older brother. "He said now you were home you could look after your own 'damn car'."

Dean scowled at Sam before focusing on the beauty before him. He lovingly ran a hand over the gleaming black paintwork. Despite Bobby's gripes he had looked after the car and kept her in top condition, he'd even given her a fresh wax before bringing her back. In Dean's eyes that was a close enough confession of caring than any words spoken out loud. He was glad to see Baby again, she always calmed him down if he was in a bad mood, but that was when he could drive her. It was a bittersweet homecoming.

"Not much use if I can't driver her or work on her." Dean muttered balling his hand into a fist.

He hadn't noticed Sam walk back around the car to stand next to him until a strong hand squeezed his shoulder.

"You can still work on her, maybe with some help." Sam smiled hopefully. "You always said you'd teach me how to look after her."

Dean hummed thoughtfully. It would be a risk letting Gigantor under her hood, but with some close supervision it could work.

"Do you want to take her for a spin?"

"Sure," Dean relented. "But take it easy on the gas, I know how heavy footed you are Sasquatch."

The drive did have a calming effect on Dean, even if he wasn't the one behind the wheel. He sat with his head resting on the back of the seat, eyes closed just listening to the purr of the engine. The only times he spoke were to comment on Sam's driving technique. He did feel a little bad about critiquing his brother when Dean had been the one to teach him to drive in the first place and he was doing Dean a favour, but this was his Baby and Sam had never been allowed to drive her before so needed to take extra care in Dean's opinion.

They drove for about 45 minutes before Sam pulled into a diner carpark. It was another thirty minutes home and Sam's stomach was growling.

The diner was bright but quiet, which Dean was thankful for. They sat at a large booth along the front window and ordered two coffees and a stack of waffles to share, extra maple syrup and extra bacon.

It didn't skip Sam's attention that Dean was on edge, he sat stiffly on the bench seat and his eyes darted around the room rarely focusing back on Sam for more than a few seconds at a time. The younger Winchester talked to distract Dean from the sounds and movements of the room, he told him about work and his boss' new baby granddaughter, and talked about the case he was working on. Eventually he turned the conversation to Jess.

"She's still looking for jobs down here, but there's not much out there at the moment." Sam sighed.

"Great girl like her, she'll find something soon." Dean replied eyeing the waitress walking towards them with their food and drinks. He physically shrank into his seat when she brushed his arm as she placed the coffee mug on the table for him.

Sam's heart gave a stab of pain for his brother. This was Dean's life now; he'd fought for his country, watched his friends die in the name of freedom and now he was emotionally wrecked, permanently scarred and flinched at any contact with strangers. This was not the Dean he'd waved off on his first tour, nor his second.

"I hope so," Sam continued trying to get Dean to refocus. "She's got a week off at the end of the month, was thinking of visiting. What do you think?"

Dean had only met Jess once before, and he really liked her, he did. But having her in his house, his space… he wasn't sure if he was ready for that just yet.

He paused to think a little too long.

"Dean?"

"Um, yeah. Sounds good." He ducked his head to take a bite of waffle, avoiding Sam's gaze. "But, uh, why don't you take a trip out there? You've got to be sick of living at home again, and looking after my sorry ass. Take a break, me and Mom will survive."

Sam looked a little taken aback and a little concerned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah man, you deserve it." Dean smiled, finally looking up at Sam. "Besides, we don't want to hear you catching up on lost time."

Sam choked on a bit of bacon and started hitting his chest to dislodge it. That and the deep flush of embarrassment on Sam's cheeks caused Dean to almost hyperventilate with laughter, tears forming at the corners of his eyes as he completely relaxed and let go for the first time in months.