Chapter 10

Ezra

He wished she hadn't said it, wished she hadn't spoken the true that had been lying just beneath the surface. He wanted to remove her words, to erase them from his mind. It was all he could think about. She had no idea what she did to him. It seemed loving her just wasn't enough anymore. He needed more, wanted more, but he wouldn't go there.

He had to talk about her, had to talk about how all this would affect her if he were to go there with her. It would be chaos. He didn't want that for her. She was already shunned by her peers. He wouldn't aim anymore hate her way. He loved her too much to see her hurt because of him, because of his feelings for her.

Ezra wished he could stop his heart, wished he could stop his heart for wanting her. He had always been infatuated with her, but when had it turned to love? Why was it her? Since knowing her it has always been her. He was happy Wes wasn't around to witness Ezra's love for his girlfriend. He knew it wasn't right, but it felt right to him. He'd always thought Jackie would be the only one for him. He had been wrong, so very wrong.

He cupped his hands to his mouth and lit his cigarette, tugging it between his lips as he drew the smoke into his mouth. He lifted his head and twisted his mouth as he released the puffs of smoke back into the air. The nicotine soothed him, made him think reasonably. He held up the opened letter, read through the words, before sacking it across the table. He should feel thrill. He didn't.

Divorce was never a happy occasion which was why he had such a bad relationship with his father. He had never wanted his marriage to come to this. He and Jackie had been so happy throughout their dating years before they had decided to try marriage. It had been a mistake. He saw that now. He wished he had known his first marriage would end in failure.

He held the long cigarette between his thumb and index finger as he got up to put away the letter finalizing his divorce. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling disoriented as he ruffled up the long silky locks. He didn't want to think about his divorce, or about Jackie. His late teen years and early twenties had been wasted on Jackie. She had taken up enough his life. He just wanted to move on and forget the marriage between them had ever existed.

She had known what he had been through, known how he much he had valued trust and marriage, and how much he'd despised his father for deserting his mother. She simply hadn't cared, about their marriage, or about him. He aligned the books on his bookshelves, aligned then again and washed his hands, and then washed his hands again. He eyed the spent the cigarette in the ashtray, itching for another one. He didn't give in. He knew he had to stop.

He was just about to order take-out, when there was a knock at his door. He chewed his bottom lip. He hoped it wasn't Jackie. He didn't want to hear any of her excuses, or pleas to give their marriage another chance. He was done.

Ezra had the wind knock out his sails when he spied Aria standing on the opposite side of the door. Why had she come? Had something happened? He wished she hadn't come. Now was definitely not the time for him to have any visitors. He couldn't do this right now. He was glad she wasn't able to see the slight show of annoyance mirroring his ocean blue eyes.

He couldn't turn her away upon seeing the pretty smile on her pretty face. He pulled her inside the apartment and closed the door behind her. He steered her over towards the kitchen table. He went to get two bottles of water, and the fresh baked cookies he had brought at the little supermarket down the road from his apartment, and then he took the seat beside hers. He watched as she stored her walking stick away into her handbag. He caught his eyes before they could wander over her body.

"Ms. Montgomery, you have to stop showing up at my apartment". It wasn't said harshly. "It's inappropriate".

Her pretty face fell, the look causing Ezra's heart to ache.

"I know," Aria said as she clasped her hands together and put them on her lap. "I honestly don't why I came here".

He knew why she had come.

"If you need help with your school work, then you know you can ask me for help at school". Ezra hated how he sounded so professional. "Do you want me to give you a ride back home?"

Her face crumbled even more.

"Are you married?" Aria blurted out, wetting her ripe red lips. "I've heard the rumors in school. I heard that you married your high school sweetheart".

He snorted. He had been young and dumb. He saw a flash of pain on her face. Did she think he was making fun of her? He wasn't. He just didn't consider Jackie his high school sweetheart. There had been another girl before her, a girl he'd dated throughout junior high and a little in high school.

"No, I'm not anymore". He could hear the bitterness in his voice, the sadness. "And I wouldn't exactly call Jackie my high school sweetheart".

"Then why don't you like me?" Aria asked him softly as she turned her body in the direction of his voice. "Have I done something to offend you?"

Why would she think that? He loved her.

"I do like you, Ms. Montgomery". He couldn't call her by her first name. It would only make it harder. "That isn't it".

"I like you too," Aria admitted shyly as she found his hand on the table and held it with hers. He sucked in a breath, fighting the unspoken attraction between them. "Then what is it?"

Did she not understand? He wanted to go there with her, but he wouldn't.

"In what way do you like me, Ms. Montgomery?" Ezra had to know that it wasn't just him. He wanted to know the root of her feelings, how far they went. "It's complicated".

Her pretty face looked unsure, like she was afraid of his reaction.

"I have a crush on you," Aria said as her fingers stroked his. "I have these feelings that won't go away". But I don't want them to".

That wasn't what he wanted to hear. He closed his eyes for a brief second. Her feelings for him didn't go as deep as his went for her. What had he expected? She was still a teenage girl in high school. She had loved Wes.

"I also had crushes at your age. It'll go away". Ezra hated how dismissive he sounded. "These kinds of things happen all the time".

He didn't know if he believed that.

"Of course," Aria said as she pulled her hand back from his, her bottom lip quivering as she fought the urge not to cry in front of him. "You're probably right".

He didn't want to be.

"Let me get my car keys so I can drive you home". He got up to get them. "It's getting dark outside".

Ezra followed the directions she'd given him. She hadn't spoken since. He didn't know what else to say to her. He was sorry he had hurt her feelings, but he couldn't take that chance with her. She was better off not knowing he loved. He waited patiently until she got into her house before he drove off.

I don't know about you guys, but I love that Ezra is still standing by his morals. No matter how much he wants her, he's still not going to cross that line with her. Did you guys love this chapter, or did you hate it? Please review and let me know! I have fallen in love with this story myself. I think it's the best story I have ever written.