As the sun begins to set I felt anxiety set it. With my new revelation and the occurrences of today I am more on edge than I have been so far in the game. To think that they are purposely trying to end the games swiftly is a foreign concept, and I find myself struggling to come to terms with it. All year round the Capitol longs for the games, they pine for the chance to watch children kill each other brutally. The Hunger Games are one of the Capitol's favorite pass times, so how can Snow justify ending it quickly? How can Seneca Crane get away with such a thing? My eyes catch the sparkling rock on my finger and I grimace, they can get away with it by promising the Capitol something more exciting to look forward to. The Hunger Games come once a year every year without fail, how often does the Capitol get the chance to ponder over my potential marriage? Perhaps by denying something the Citizens of the Capitol love they are making something else even bigger, even better. I swallow the lump in my throat, by denying them the games they make the pressure on me that much heavier, they will need something else to occupy their time and minds, and what will happen to District Twelve if I don't deliver everything they want and more?
I curse under my breath, therein lies the truth. In ending the games sooner Snow has ensured that I stick to his course and do as he says. The people will be disappointed in the games, most likely, and will look to the next source of enthrallment with hopeful anticipation. If I don't fulfill their need to be entertained the consequences could be devastating. I shake my head as Alice scurries up a tree, I can worry about the loss of what little freedom I have later, but for now I must focus on the task at hand. She's a little closer to the bottom of the funnel than I would like and Darren has set his tent up by a stream and crawled inside just as the last rays of sunlight burn away the fog and disappears behind the mountains.
I sit back, I hope silently that the mutts will not come back tonight, but I know they will. If they are making necklaces featuring the Tribute and their mutt then the Game Makers must intend on making them a prominent feature in this game. Cinna settles himself beside me, his arm around my shoulders as he stares at the screen. He hasn't said a word to me since he told me he would be designing my wedding gown, but at least he had come back from his work bench. I had been afraid he would stay there until the end of the games. I don't want to even imagine what facing the rest of this game along would have been like.
I watch as Alice prepares herself for the night, wrapping her sleeping bag around her instead of crawling into it, and I know why. She knows her sister's mutt will come back just as well as I do, and she buries her head down into her knees. I draw my own knees up against my chest, mirroring her action. I can't imagine what it must be like, to see the face of a loved one on the body of something trying to kill you. It had been bad enough when the mutt with Peeta's eyes had been snapping at me, but if it had his entire face, his whole body- a shudder moved through me. Something like that is unimaginable, and I can't help but wonder which sick Game Maker came up with that golden idea. If I ever met them I would definitely have a few choice words for them, which may or may not end with my fist making the acquaintance of their face.
I twitch slightly as the keening begins at, at first it is just a soft whisper on the wind, carried from very far away, but within moments it is closer and closer. I circle my legs with my arms, wondering just how fast these things can move. Only moments ago it had sounded miles away, and yet now it was as if it was just outside Alice's clearing. Alice jams her eyes shut and rocks herself gently back and forth. I know what she is thinking, so long as she doesn't look at the mutt it won't bother her, after all it is only a mutt wearing her sisters skin. She is muttering to herself when the mutt comes into view, her wide eyes blinking in the bright moonlight. She begins circling her tree slowly, pawing at the trunk as she stares up into the tree, searching for Alice. I begin biting my nails, but Cinna takes my hand to stop me. Alice covers her eyes and trembles as the mutt claws at the base of the tree, the soft cooing sound ends as the mutt's eyes finds Alice.
"Alice?" The mutt calls, and Alice's eyes fly open. The mutt tilts its head from side to side, its small lips turns down at the corners. "Alice?" It asks again, and tears glimmer in the moon light as they fall down my tribute's face. "Alice!" The mutt claws at the base of the tree, and I'm surprised to see chunks of bark being ripped from the trunk. The mutt thrashes as she tried to get to the girl above her. "Alice!" She yells, her pointed yellow teeth showing as she growls. "Alice! Alice! Alice!" She cries ever louder, and Alice jams her fingers into her ears.
"You're not real." Alice sobs. "You're not Kenzie."
"Alice!" The mutt screams again and again, beating at the base of the tree. "Alice!" I feel my own heart breaking in my chest as Alice rests her head against the trunk, her cheeks stained with tears as she cradles her crudely bandaged arm against her chest. I frown despite myself, if by some miracle Alice makes it out alive I know she will never look at her sister the same way again. She will always see the mutt and hear it screaming her name. She will have nightmares for years. Alice rubs her damaged arm furiously, and I see blood seep through the white linen cloth. I wonder if she is reopening the wound on purpose, using the pain to keep herself focused, to keep herself sane. I chew on my lip, by opening it again she is risking infection. I could send her antibiotics that would heal her wound in a matter of hours with how much money has been pledged to Darren but I can't. I can't risk spending the money on her in case he ends up needing it. It's horrible, but it is how it must be. Just as Haymitch chose me I am choosing Darren.
The screen shifts and I find Darren is already asleep in his tend just as Emmi's mutt enters the clearing, her stomach swollen and her eyes wide. "Darren?" She calls, and instantly Darren's eyes fly open as if he hadn't been snoring only moments before. For a moment there is such a look of pain in them I am shocked that he is capable of such emotions. That pain, however, is quickly replaced by rage. He throws his tent flap open with his dagger in his hand and murder in his eyes. "Darren!" She cries and reaches for him, but Darren raises his blade.
"So her face wasn't enough?" He snarls. "You had to steal her voice too?" He takes a few steps forward, and the Mutt pulls back its lips in a smile, he lets out a hiss as his eyes fall on her teeth.
"Darren-"
"Shut up!" He takes a few steps closer to her, and she opens her arms to him. "You're not Emmi, you're not my girl." Even though he knows she is not his love there are still tears in his eyes. "And that is not my baby." I can see the way his shoulders tremble and I lean forward in my seat. A cannon fires in the distance, quickly followed by another. The bangs break Darren from his daze, for he lunged forward and slashes the mutt's throat. The blood that pours out of the wound is bright blue, as opposed to red, and this seems to disgust Darren most of all. Before she has even stopped twitching he is back within his tent, away from the prying eyes of Panem, and I have a feeling he is showing all the pain he had hidden in the open within the safe confides of his tent. I'm proud he held it inside, seeing Emmi in such a way was no doubt doing psychological damage that would never be undone. I wonder if he will ever wake up next to Emmi in the middle of the night and be afraid of her.
Before the sun rises the Cannon fires twice more, four dead in one night. I can't help but wonder if the Mutts' voices lured a few tributes away from their precautions. A part of me is actually anxious to see the recap, curiosity eating away at my insides as I wonder what forum the other tributes' mutts have taken. I lean back into the chair as a great wave of disgusted washes over me. Anxious? Have I already become so like the Capitol monsters who enjoy watching children die? To distract myself I lean against Cinna and close my eyes, ticking off the tributes in my head. While I don't know which four died tonight I do know that there are only eleven left. I let out a long breath, it isn't even the third day and yet half of the tributes are gone!
What else can I believe other than this is all Snow's doing? The only other game I can recall where tributes dropped this quickly was the one that took place in a frozen waste land where they turned to ice in their sleep. The game is moving so quickly the Careers didn't even have time to form their pack, and I can't squander the money I'm getting on food and other small things for them, I must wait for an emergency. That or the ability to buy Darren a pick axe, then again he seems to be getting along just fine without it.
Alice doesn't wake with the sunlight that peaks over the opposite mountains, to wake up she would have had to fall asleep. She simply rubs her face with shaking hands and climbs down from her perch, taking a little longer than she normally wound. She hikes her bag up on her shoulder and begins walking downhill, and I wish there was some way for me to tell her to go in the other direction. I remember Haymitch sending me food as a way of telling me to be more romantic with Peeta in my own game, but as I can't waste money on her, I can't even figure out a system like that.
She is hardly walking for more than a mile before something exciting happens. She goes to put her foot down in a seemingly normal place but freezes. I lean forward in my seat, my hair hanging around my head in messy tendrils. Cinna tries to straighten my hair but I slap his hands away. Alice crouches down on her hands and knees and for a moment I wonder what she is doing, but then she lifts a leaf from the ground to reveal a thin net beneath. She sucks in her breath. "A pit." She whispers, just loud enough for the microphones to catch. "And I bet there are stakes at the bottom…" I grin; she's showing the viewer's how clever she is. She stands and places the leaf in the exact same place she had found it and skirts the edge of the hole carefully before continuing on her way, her eyes downcast as she searches for more pits.
I can tell by the way she is rubbing her stomach continuously that she is hungry, but she doesn't have the advantages I had. She doesn't know how to hunt, for forage, or even be hungry for that matter. After a while she stops at a tree and brings out her knife, tearing off a piece of bark and sticking it in her mouth. She chews it slowly, and I can see the pained expression on her face. It gives her something to put in her mouth, but it will not sate the hunger. I frown, could I just spare her one loaf of bread, one silver parachute to keep her alive for just a little longer? I shake my head, I can't do that. I can't be weak.
Haymitch had told me that this was the hardest part, watching the tribute you didn't chose die. You see the hope in their eyes as they wait for help, as they wait for the silver that will save their life. He said they watch for it all the way to the end, for they can't believe that they have been abandoned, they can't imagine that the person who had helped them for a week has left them defenseless. Why give them all of that advice if they were going to be left to their own defenses when it mattered most? When the screen switches to Darren skinning a rabbit I am almost relieved. I can't stand the hungry look in Alice's eyes, I can't stand the hope as she looks to the skies, waiting for the aid that will not come.
I lace my hand in Cinna's as I watch him work, and while he is messy and sloppy with this rabbit he gets the work done without completely ruining the meat. The fog has set in once more so Darren risks building a small fire, just large enough to roast the meat slowly. As he waits for the meet to cook he plays with a small ring he has always kept on a chain around his neck, a token from home. I never asked him what it was and now I wish I had, though it is pretty easy to guess. The ring is far to smell to fit on any finger of his, so I can only imagine it is Emmi's, something she gave him to keep her close in the Arena. He brings the small metal band to his lips and closes his eyes. For a moment he sits like that, breathing softly before he turns the meat and becomes stone once more. The phones on the other side of the room begin ringing as rich bleeding hearts call to help bring a young boy in love home to his sweetheart.
I turn my eyes to the mini map and smile softly. The other nine dots are far from either of my tributes, and I let out a breath I hadn't even noticed I'd been holding. At least for today they will be safe. Unless Alice falls into a hole or Darren chokes on the rabbit meat they will both live to see the night, or so I hope. Cinna must notice my realization for he clears his throat. "They both seem to be doing well." He says softly, and I nod.
"Alice is doing better than I expected." I had expected her to be the first to die, but I don't say that. I should have known better, of course. She is so like Rue, and Rue had made it all the way to the final ten. Cinna nods as well, and I can't help but shift awkwardly. Everything about this conversation is awkward, it doesn't have the usual easy flow of our talks and even though I know he is trying his best I can't help but believe that things might be better if we didn't try to talk at all. Cinna glances back to the citizens on the other side of the room and drops his voice down to a whisper.
"I've been thinking about our… Situation." He says against my ear, and I feel my heart quicken in my chest.
"Oh?" Is all I can bring myself to say.
"Yes. What if… what if we ran away, Kat?" He grips my hand a little tighter. "I could get us a hover craft, we could swing by the District and get your mother and sister and-"
"And go where, Cinna?" I murmur back, suddenly going back to the day of my reaping and the conversation I had had with Gale. He had proposed much the same thing, and I wonder what life would be like if I had agreed. If I had run away into the wilderness with him I would have never fallen in love with Peeta, and for some reason I find it hard to imagine myself without this gaping hole within me. I wouldn't have nightmares; I wouldn't know what it is like to take a human life. I would still be the same girl I had been before the reaping, and I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Regardless, I can't help but long for it.
"I don't know, somewhere, anywhere." He runs his thumb across the back of my hand. "Somewhere we can be together." I imagine it for a moment, Cinna and I somewhere outside of Snow's reach, somewhere where I don't have to worry about the eyes that always watch me. It is a dream to beautiful to even dream of.
"There is no where we could go that they couldn't find us." I whisper. "We would never stop running."
"Would that be so bad?" There is desperation in his voice. "We could be together, Kat. We-"
"We would be in danger every moment of every day." I shake my head. "They wouldn't simply let us vanish quietly, Cinna. They would hunt us down with everything they have. At least if I stay here and… and do what I have to do I know you will be safe." I turn sideways to look at him, but his face is void of all emotion. One again he is a rock sitting beside me, and I wonder if this is what he sees when he looks at me, his eyes begging me to love him.
"What is the point of being safe, then?" He asks as he turns his eyes back to the screen. "What is the point of even being alive if you-" I cover his lips with my fingertips, and for the briefest of moments my touch softens his stony façade. The walls are back up almost instantly.
"Don't talk like that." I say in a low voice. "I've lost enough, I can't imagine losing you to. I'd die." He takes a deep breath and pulls me a little closer.
"Then I guess I have no choice but to behave." I furrow my eyebrows, wondering what he had in mind when they wheel in lunch and the room is suddenly alive with movement. Cinna stands and helps me up as well, and once again we are nothing but a stylist and a mentor. After all, it is the safest things we can be.