Only one more chapter to go after this one. Since it´s only partially written, it might take a while until the next update - sorry about that, but I´ll do my best to finish it as soon as possible. In the meantime, I hope you´ll be happy with this one.
They are still in that playroom, so that means another M rated chapter. This time, Christian will uncover one of Ana´s secrets. This is not in any of the books, I just imagine something that could have happened.
Thank you for those reviews - you people are amazing, and you really keep me inspired to continue. Hopefully, there will be more stories in the future!
See chapter 01 for the usual disclaimer and... I hope you have fun!
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Chapter 10
"I'll be your keeper for life as your guardian,
I'll be your warrior of care, your first warden,
I'll be your angel on call, I'll be on demand,
The greatest honor of all as your guardian…"
Alanis Morisette, Guardian
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I don´t know how long I worked, time simply loses its meaning when I am deeply engrossed in something like this. Something that, frankly, I love doing. Perhaps I've been working for an hour, maybe more, maybe less.
Keeping my fucking demons under a tight leash is always an exercise in discipline and self-control.
I´ll always hate it when I have to acknowledge my own weaknesses to anyone, including myself, but it is not easy for me to remain detached and objective today. That is a novel experience for me. Yes, I know I´ve brought Ana to the playroom many times before, but this... there is an element of danger that goes beyond the physical. I can´t not afford to lose my mind even for a second. The media loves to say that I have a laser focus as far as business is concerned. Well, let us see if there is any truth to one of their favorite statements about Christian Grey.
The truth is that the physical attraction I felt for each of my former submissives pales in comparison to what I feel about Anastasia Steele. It is fucking nothing. So much that today, if I try to remember the fifteen faces of those women, I get nothing but a blur, even with my near eidetic memory. One look at her was enough to wipe them all.
Which makes it only harder to control myself around Anastasia…
Nevertheless, I need to be able to do that today, otherwise mistakes can happen, and those could be dangerous when trying something like rope bondage. And so, I had to force myself not to react every time she sucks in her breath when the ropes or my fingers brush against the more sensitive areas of her body. Every time she moans. I have to pretend not to notice, for instance, when her flush deepens when I ask her to part her legs to rearrange the ropes and the knots down her thighs. All I can do is to flash her a knowing smile or soothe her with a kiss on her forehead or a few calming words.
And I have to do all that ignoring my own reactions…
I work quietly most of the time – the laser focus shit, remember? I speak only when I have to tell Anastasia to move this or that way, to turn her around or to soothe or encourage her whenever I feel that it's necessary. Contrary to what she said her intent was, she remains silent most of the time, and her questions, if she indeed has any, remained unspoken.
That alone makes me restless.
Is she too overwhelmed?
Probably so, but she appears to be relaxed, her breath slow and even, even if it catches from time to time when I have to touch her in a more sensitive place. She only watches me work, transfixed, only speaking to answer my brief questions. Her hands are still free, I am saving those for last, but she hardly moves them. She appears almost mesmerized by what I am doing to her, the art I am creating on her body.
Is this hurting you? Is it too tight? How does it feel? Is it uncomfortable? Does it tickle?
She has learned by now that when we are in the playroom I prefer her replies to my questions to be verbal, rather than mere nods or moans. There is no room for dubious interpretation here, not with Anastasia. Her answers today are always short and precise, "yes sir"s and "no sir"s, the "sir"s and the occasional whimsical "master"s being added to my benefit. I don´t complain, she doesn´t seem to mind the use of a little Dom/sub protocol. She is almost too serene, too compliant, a near perfect submissive. However, Ana being Ana, I know that her unusual quietness hints at the possibility of a storm hovering just beneath the surface. Her body maybe quiet, but I am sure her mind is working furiously. And me being me, I need to know what is going on.
"Am I boring you, Miss Steele?" I ask at some point, when my uneasiness becomes too much for me to bear. I have to break her silence, it is suddenly too oppressive.
She giggles. Now, that´s better!
"No, sir. No, you'll never bore me. It is always fascinating to watch an expert doing what he does best, Mr. Grey. You´re so intense when you are doing this!"
Right. She does read me like one of her fucking books! I can only wish I had the same ability as far as she was concerned…
"Intense. Am I?"
"More so than usual, you´re all Mr. Triple-D today."
"Triple-D?" I inquire. Anastasia and her knack for playing havoc with words.
"Dark, dangerous and dominant. Very tempting, if you ask me."
"Really, Miss Steele? Even the dominant part?"
"That goes without saying in my current predicament."
"You left tall out of your equation," I point.
"Height is merely a physical trait, it´s more… in your face. You are a pleasantly tall man, all one has to do is too look at you to realize that. The D´s are more interesting and less obvious unless one is close enough to you, although it took me about five seconds in our first meeting to realize all of that."
Interesting, Miss Steele.
"There it is again," she says, and with one of her free hands she touches that spot between my eyebrow and my nose that seemed to intrigue her so much.
I grab her hand and kiss the tip of the fingers that just touched my skin. I take her ring finger between my teeth and bite it very lightly she hisses.
"Why do you keep touching me there, in that particular spot?" I ask her. "You´ve been doing that a lot lately."
"You noticed?" I always do, baby. "Don´t you know?"
"I´m intrigued, Anastasia."
"It´s a dead giveaway. Perhaps I shouldn´t tell this, but it is one of my clues. It tells me when you are about to enter that Dom mode of yours." She tries to touch me there again and I grab her hand.
So, I have a fucking tell, do I? Interesting – and annoying as hell. I am not sure I like that very much. Perhaps that is how Elena knew when I was about to snap and rebel against her on those occasions when she would punish me viciously before I said or did anything. Fuck, I would have been more careful if I knew that.
Well, that is the kind of information I like to save for future reference!
"I didn´t know I had a telltale sign. Very observant, Miss Steele, as usual."
"And very, very attractive, Mr. Grey. Please don´t lose it. When you are frowning like that I never know if I want to jump on you or run and hide…"
Anastasia Steele and her disarming honesty…
"However," she goes on, "since I can do neither right now, I content myself with just gawking at you. I love watching your competent hands at work while you have that intense look in your face. I think I may have taken a short, preliminary excursion to subspace."
I stop what I am doing – I´m finishing on the knots on left ankle now - and raise my eyebrows at her as I straighten myself.
"Subspace?"
"Yes."
"Not yet, Anastasia. Not yet." She looks disappointed, and I pause for a moment or two. "From what you told me before we began, I expected you to be a chatterbox, challenging me every step of the way. I never thought I would ever say this, but I miss more than just the sound of your voice. I crave your defiance, Miss Steele. Although I have to admit those last words of your more than made up for it."
"Are you disappointed?" She frowns at me. "Am I not acting as I should? I am never sure about those crazy protocols yet."
"I don´t give a fuck about BDSM protocols with you, Ana." I sound harsher than I intend to, and a shadow crosses her eyes for a moment. "You always act as you should, baby, and that is one of the many things I´ll always love about you. You have a mind of your own, and what a mind it is! No, I´m not disappointed, I´m just surprised. It´s just that you´re not usually so…"
"Compliant? Accommodating?"
Miss Steele and her long words…
"Submissive?"
Bingo!
A little sardonic smile is my only answer to her as I shake my head.
"How is this one?" I ask, running my finger under a knot just above her ankle.
"Mmm… A little too tight perhaps," she answers.
"We can´t have that, can we?" I wink. "This is a tricky spot…"
That is how her answers have been so far, downright honest and precise. That is good. I can trust her about that, about letting me keep her safe and not hurting her in any way. A knot that is too tight may seriously harm her when I tighten the ropes to begin the suspension. Gravity is always a bitch.
I lose the knot just a fraction.
"Better now?"
"I think so."
"Good. Don´t worry, we´ll test everything again before I start lifting you."
"So you keep telling me all the time, but I´m not worried, not for a single moment. I feel safe with you here, Christian. Clearly you know what you´re doing. Gosh, it´s weird, but I think I´ve never felt safer."
"That is exactly what I am aiming for, Miss Steele."
Standing up, I stretch my spine and my arms a bit, just before starting the last part of my work – tying her hands in front of her. Not behind her back this first time – I don´t want her to feel too vulnerable or helpless. I saved that for last – in the past, it was usually the first thing I did – I never wanted to run the risk of having the woman touching me where they shouldn´t, accidentally or not. God knows I´ve had more than my share of people touching me by accident. The very thought of it still makes me sick to my stomach. There is one touch I´ll ever be able to tolerate, and that is Anastasia´s.
"I don´t even mind that diabolical thing next to me anymore," she says, turning her head to gaze at the elephant in the room, the cane still lying next to her on the bed. I didn't even have to ask what thing she was referring to.
"That diabolical thing is called a dragon cane," I explain. "You seemed to be particularly obsessed about what they could do to you lately."
"You mean about what you could do to me with one of those, Mr. Grey. Your short demonstration one hour ago was very illustrative, if you ask me. Straight to the point."
"That is how I work, Miss Steele. I´m glad my efforts were appreciated."
"In Chinese mythology, dragons are such benevolent creatures. Why would one name a device used only to inflict pain after them?"
Pain and pleasure, Miss Steele. Let us not forget about the pleasure…
Apparently, we´re back to dealing with her little obsession with semantics now.
"I really have no idea," I admit. "This one is slightly different than an ordinary cane, I´ll tell you some other time. There is a lot of history behind those things, you´d be amazed. They are fun!"
I chose not to tell her how vicious and nasty those things are, and that they are likely to produce more pain than a regular cane. A lot more. A sadist's delight, my favorite among all punishing devices until a very recent past.
"Fun? Ouch! It depends on who has the handle, I guess. That is a very wicked looking one you have there. I don´t like the way that silver dragon stares at me with those ruby red eyes."
I smirk.
"Tell me about it now," she insists. "Enlighten me!"
Does she have to say the words that started it all?
No, I don´t think that is a safe subject for now, I don´t want her to have any reason to start feeling all shaky again. She trusts me, she feels safe. No need to rattle her right now.
"Not here, not now. Some other time. I think that might be too much of a distraction. For both of us. Well, for me more than for you, I think."
"And I think I might need some kind of distraction."
"Not this kind, you don´t. Let us save that story for some other time."
Then I have an idea, a sudden burst of inspiration.
"It´s your turn now, Miss Steele, this works both ways. You tell me something I don´t know. Something about you."
"What? About me? My repertoire of colorful stories is not quite as vast as yours. That is one thing about me that hasn't changed since the day I met you, all my outrageous tales involve you."
And it will remain that way as long as we are together, Anastasia… I don´t linger upon that thought for long. The idea that one day we would be apart again, that she would find happiness in another man´s arms was too painful to consider.
Forever, Ana.
"We all have our secrets, and we've been addressing too many of mine lately. Tell me one of yours," I whisper, leaning closer to her ear taking her hands in mine. "Come on, Anastasia. Give me your best shot. Spill."
"A secret?" she whispers back. "You wanna hear a secret? My secret?"
"Yes." I start coiling the rope around her wrists, very slowly. She gulps, and looks down at what I am doing.
"Why is my skin so sensitive? Almost painfully so, although it´s a good kind of ache."
Nice tactics, Miss Steele.
To deviate from an unwanted subject being atypically verbose and providing me with information she knew would interest me…
Clever!
Because that certainly got my attention.
I liked it. I liked that I was the only man who could do that to her.
The first man.
I stop what I am doing immediately, laying her hands against her stomach, and stare at her for a long moment.
"A shibari master would say it´s because the ropes and the knots are stimulating the right nerve endings, inducing the flow and transfer of the chi energy inside your body… You know, that kind of shit," I explain.
"Mmmm. All right. You´re doing it right, obviously, you always do. But you don´t buy that, otherwise you wouldn´t resort to a little profanity to explain it. What do you really think, Mr. Grey?"
I think it is because you are bordering an extreme state of sexual arousal right now, and you can´t wait to see where pushing through those limits of yours will do to you… and to me.
"To put it simply, it means I´m doing my job right, and that so far I haven´t fucked up. I´ll tell you more after you tell me one of your secrets," I wink.
"Just one?" Her eyebrows raise.
Wait – there are more?
Oh Anastasia, don´t do that to me!
I don´t like that. Not at all. I fucking don't!
"One. That´s all I ask for now."
"You never play fair, do you?"
"You are still a mystery to me, Miss Steele."
"You are the master of all my secrets, Christian. You know everything that matters about me. Otherwise I would not have come to you with my virtue intact," she says, attempting to sound a bit theatrical.
Yes, you do.
"Seriously, never mind the purple prose, what I am trying to say is that my life was a blank canvas before I met you, you know that."
"None whatsoever?" I insist. "No secrets? No dark fantasies? No sinful and naughty dreams?"
She licks her lips, as if she is choosing her next words carefully.
"Christian."
"Yes?"
"I am lying naked in black satin sheets in a huge bed in a red room of pain surrounded by floggers, whips and canes, tied up from head to toe with red ropes and about to be suspended from the ceiling by a sadistic dominant and wondering what the hell he will do to me while I am completely helpless up there."
Oh yes, baby. But do you really, really believe that this is the worst I could do to you in a playroom? Oh Ana, if you knew how innocent you still are about this dark world of mine!
I am tempted to say all that, but I remain quiet. I think nothing but a wicked smirk betrays my inner thoughts. She narrows her eyes a little – she does that whenever I start getting in her nerves - when she notes the self-satisfied look in my face. I can´t help it.
"So you think this is the worst that I could do to you in here?" I finally ask.
"Christian, I may be inexperienced, but I am not that naïve."
All right, baby, I´ll take your word for that…
"I know it isn´t. But in my book, that qualifies as sinfully dark and naughty, don´t you agree?" she finishes.
"No." My reply is curt and abrupt.
I´ll show you dark and naughty one of these days, Anastasia. If you let me…
She sighs.
"Even if I had anything to tell you, it would pale in comparison to this."
"Well, considering from your perspective Miss Steele…"
She doesn´t let me finish.
"Why the skepticism? I´m not hiding anything from you, I never have."
Ooops – slow down, Grey!
I was so caught up in my own inner analysis of what she was saying that I did not realize that I was getting on her nerves. Again.
So, I try to fix it.
"I don´t mean to imply that you´re hiding anything from me, Ana, I never have," I begin. "But, admit it, there are things you just don´t talk about, even when I pry."
"I really can´t think of anything like that, Christian." She sounds sincere.
If I were a gentleman, I would leave her alone and stop prying right now. But I am not, at least not at the moment. I am too concerned about her safety to be bothered with that. The fact that the subject doesn´t even come to her mind is a relief to me, in away – if it was any kind of traumatic event, I am sure she wouldn´t be able to hide from me.
"Carla´s third husband." I fire, making an effort to sound innocent and detached, when in fact the subject has been occupying my mind for a few days now, and that I have been trying to lead her gently into it for the past few minutes.
"Oh. Him." Her hands clench and unclench. "Ewww…"
"Stephen M. Morton. The one with an untouchable Harley in the garage. Tell me more."
"Christian, I… I know so little. I only ever met him a handful of times." She sounds annoyed.
No, she definitely doesn´t like talking about it. The question is why.
"Come on, I still have the knots in your hands and arms to work on, we have time. Indulge me, please."
She stares at the ceiling.
"My mom, who doesn´t know the meaning of a secret, never talks about him. Never."
"Does she have any reason to ignore his existence?"
"I don´t know. Honestly?"
Oh, come on, Ana!
"Yes?"
"I´m afraid that you´ll probably have your people looking into him after I tell you what I know, and I am not sure how I feel about… Wait. Oh crap! You are already looking into him, aren´t you?"
A shrug and a little smile are my only answers. She knows me too well. My people, as she calls them, are already doing their work. They have been after our conversation Monday morning. I only don´t know what they found yet…
"Oh God, you´re unbelievable," she knows.
"I just want you safe, Ana, I need you safe. The idea of anyone hurting you in any way is worse than any torture to me. If I have the means and the power to minimize any risks out there, I will not hesitate to use them. Yes, I am insanely obsessive about it, it drives me crazy, and yes, I am working on it. Fucking difficult because I am also insanely and obsessively in love with you, but I am trying. Now, please, just tell me."
Her hands were tied already, but I lowered them again, keeping them relaxed against her stomach, covering them with mine. She sighs, and then she pulls her tied hands and places them above mine.
"OK." I close my eyes in relief at her compliance. "I can do that. I can tell you, it's not much anyway but please, please – don´t freak out."
Wait! Oh shit!
My instincts were not wrong, there is something there…
"Why should I freak out?" I try to sound calm, but my heart is racing. All of a sudden, I am almost afraid about what she will reveal me.
She swallows.
"They were married for a few months only. He never… touched me or abused me, if that is what worries you. I don´t know about my Mom, and the idea terrifies me when I think about it, but I was fine."
Why doesn´t that completely reassures me?
"But there is more than that, isn´t there?"
"Well… I don´t know. He was a charming, handsome man, but he just made me uneasy," she begins, and I let her speak without interrupting. "I was so young, it was the Summer before my senior year in high school. When he first met me, he showered me with attention spoiling me and pampering me, buying me gifts… books and such, little things that he knew I loved because my mother told him. I thought back them he was trying to buy my affection – I was a very surly teenager during those days. I was skittish, I didn´t soften towards him because of that, not at all. I didn´t take it too well when Mom and Ray split up after so many years together. I think I never did. Maybe because I was so fond of Ray and never really understood why their marriage fell apart. We lived in Montesano at the time, and when she asked me if I wanted to move to Texas with her and Steve or stay with dad I didn´t even hesitate, I decided to stay. I went to visit them only once down in Texas, right after Christmas. Just before she divorced him. It was when… when the strangest thing happened." She stopped, biting her lower lip - the eternal giveaway.
"What happened?"
"One or two days after my arrival, he forgot to shut down his computer as he usually did before leaving for work. No one used it but him, my Mom told me not to touch it, but I… oh well. I needed one because of a school assignment I had to work on during my Winter break, so I thought I could use his. There was an icon with my name on it, so I clicked. There were some pictures of me while I was sunbathing in the backyard... sleeping…"
"Fuck, Ana!" I feel the blood draining from my face instantly, my hands went to the top of hers again and I held tight.
"I was hardly more than a child, appallingly innocent even for a seventeen year old, and in my mind I thought I looked, oh well, nice, so I called my Mom to show them to her. She started screaming – I never heard her screaming like that before, she never as much as raised her voice to me. I didn´t understand what was going on. She just assured me I had done nothing wrong, and the next thing I know she puts me on a plane back to Washington that same day. When Steve came home from work I was already on my way. I never saw or heard from him again." She pauses before finishing her story. "She joined me in Montesano a few weeks later, when their divorce was already final. But she never spoke of him again, and if I wanted to see her boiling mad at me I only had to mention him. Which is something I didn't do very often because the sound of his name still makes me sick to the stomach."
"He was a fucking pedophile!" No wonder she resented Elena so much when she first heard my story. No wonder she sees red when anyone mentions her name. "Shit!"
I start cursing, and several more four letter words from my colorful vocabulary followed. I leave her for a moment and start pacing around the red room, my hands running through my hair, pulling it from the roots. I kept some distance from the bed, I didn´t trust myself around Ana in times like this, when I was about to be overcome by an uncontrollable bout of rage.
"Christian, calm down. Don't do that, please. Look at me." I do as she asks, I can feel my eyes blazing. "Look at me, dammit Christian, I can´t move and I hate to see you like this, I hate it. Please."
The hurt in her voice is more than enough to convince me.
"It´s all right. Nothing ever happened to me! I wasn´t touched, I wasn´t even traumatized by the experience, I just don´t like to talk about it, just like I don´t like to talk about falling on my face in a full auditorium in my first day in college."
"Not the same thing, Ana!" I sigh deeply. "For fuck´s sake, you were…"
Seventeen.
She was seventeen.
Some pieces of the puzzle that was Anastasia Steele fell into place. Her irrational hatred towards Elena Lincoln. Why she had appeared so uncomfortable when she saw Jose´s photos of her in that exhibit, which he had taken without her knowledge…
Oh, Anastasia…
I couldn´t wait to see what my security experts dug out about that fucker.
"Oh, you see why I didn´t want to tell you? I knew you would blow up and go all fifty shades on me again. Christian, please say something."
"All right," I approach the bed again, and sit next to her. "I´ll tell you two things only, and then we never talk about this anymore, if that is what you want, OK?"
"That is what I want. OK."
"Number one. I´ll be forever indebted to your mother for putting you in that plane back to Montesano when she did. And I am planning to tell that one day, I don´t care how mad she is at me or at you for bringing up the subject." She gulps, perhaps wondering about Carla´s reaction if I ever did what I promised, but then she nods her agreement.
"Are you kidding me? She'll never be mad at you, Christian, she adores you."
"Good. That´s settled. Number two, I´ll show you whatever we find on Stephen Morton as soon as I get the file, but I won´t do anything else without talking to you first. Deal?"
"Deal." She sounds immensely relieved.
I lean down and kiss her closed eyelids.
"Thank you for telling me, Anastasia" I whisper.
"You´re welcome. I seriously need a kiss now."
"I just gave you one."
"I need another."
"Greedy, Miss Steele?"
Playfully, I kiss the tip of her nose.
"Not there!" She pouts.
"No? Where then? Here?" I tease her with a quick peck on her inviting lips.
"You can do better than that, Mr. Grey."
There was no doubt about it!
"I mean, it's definitely an improvement, but not quite what I have in mind."
"An improvement, mmmm? You're sure?" I touch her nose with mine.
"Yeah," she pretends to be in deep thoughts. "I would show you want I mean, but I'm kind of tied up at the moment." And I hear another one of her lovely giggles. I would never tire of those.
I raise a little to take a good appraising look at her body wrapped and tied in red ropes. The sight is so fucking amazing that I forget what is was about to say to put an end to our playful banter.
She calls me back to planet Earth.
"Hey, are you gonna leave it at that?" She teases me with a mock scowl. "Just one?"
"Come here you…"
Apart from touching, kissing might be the simplest of all sexual acts. Paradoxically, when rightly done, it can be the most intimate. Perhaps for that reason, it was never a favorite for me. Did I ever kiss my former subs? Of course I did, but it was always a calculated act, usually for their benefit, not mine. It was something I did when I wanted to seduce and arouse, encourage or soothe, sometimes reward them.
My last coherent thought before my lips touched and explored the velvety softness of her mouth was that Anastasia Steele was the one who taught me to rediscover the simple pleasure of a kiss. More than anything else, I was pouring my whole heart and soul in that kiss. I soon became not merely the giver, but a recipient as well. The seducer became the seduced.
I am lost.
She is ready.
I about to try for a first attempt, lifting her only a few inches from the ground, to test the ropes and the knots, to see if they were hurting her anywhere.
She looks amazingly like the model in that music video, except for a few minor changes – no body suit, for starters. As I had planned, I made some minor changes in respect to what we saw in the music video, so that the whole arrangement was more symmetrical and safer for her. A few extra knots were added, for stimulation. In my mind, this is more about pushing through limit than a possible sex marathon, the sensualist in me wasn´t aiming for debauchery, but instead for something beautiful, elegant, and most definitely erotic. The kinky fuckery will be a mere consequence and our reward, so no spread legs at first. It´s more elegant this way, although I have never bothered with such subtleties before. However, that doesn´t mean I cannot change that with a slightest tug in a particular rope and a mere flick of my wrist.
Yes, Miss Steele is bound for a little surprise or two, no pun intended!
Anastasia never looked more stunning. I need to correct myself here. I said she looked like the girl in the videoclip, but no. She looks better than that model.
She´s breathtaking.
There are no other words to describe her.
I spent a good part of the past decade of my life building a financial empire practically from scratch and by sheer strength of will. I´ve been everywhere and I´ve experienced things that most men twice my age can only dream about. I have a mind designed for business, an above average IQ, I am blessed with a reasonable amount of musical talent. Yet, I was never able to create art outside of that playroom. Now looking at Anastasia lying on the bed, the ropes wrapped around her beautiful nude body, the knots placed strategically near her erogenous zones, the vivid, unbearably erotic contrast between the red of the rope and the whiteness of her skin… I thought maybe that was my work of art.
And she is my muse.
Perfection.
I grimace, as I fix one of the knots near her waist that could potentially hurt her.
"That one tickles." She giggles.
Well, that is kind of the point of it, Miss Steele…
Smiling, I test the strength of each of the eight ropes that would be supporting her from the ceiling.
"Quiet now, Anastasia," I warn gently. I tug at the ropes again. "I just want to make sure that this will be enough to support your body weight."
"That serves you right for making me eat all the time, Mr. Grey. Eat, Anastasia," she mimics my voice. "You must eat!"
You are a little wisecrack when you apply yourself to it, aren´t you, Miss Steele?
I kneel next to her, and run my hands along the sides of her body. After her little comeback I have to fight the temptation to flip her over and slap her butt a few times. However, that could potentially ruin all the work I´ve done so far, so I restrain myself. She starts twitching again, her arms and legs covered in goosebumps. Her skin is extra-sensitive, she had said, and it shows.
"I love the new you, Miss Steele. Round in all the places I like. You don´t look like I´ll break you in two when I fuck you hard."
"Poetic as usual, Mr. Grey."
I shrugged. Yes, I´d rather leave the beautiful and poetic words for her to use when she describes this. I´m more partial to a more blunt, crude kind of approach – although even that is changing around her.
"Forget the ropes, then. Remember what I told you? Think of them as an extension of my body."
"I do love your body," she lets out a satisfied sigh.
"I know. Pretend it's me carrying you, my arms, my hands."
"Hmm. I think I can do that!"
"OK. Ready?" I ask, standing up abruptly.
I give her no further warning.
"F… for what… ooohhh!
She starts giggling nervously when I raise her for the first time, barely a foot above the ground.
"Whaaat? Gaahh!"
She starts twitching, as if testing the ropes and the knots.
No, Anastasia, not yet.
I lower her immediately.
"Wow! That was interesting!"
Why isn't she taking this seriously? Doesn´t she understand how badly I can hurt her like this?
"Stay still, Ana, you´ll hurt yourself like this. I am not lifting you again until you stop squirming, do you understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"You have to keep still for a moment to see if there is any extra pressure anywhere. You must focus. Try to imagine yourself lying in bed, let yourself go, I need all your muscles to be relaxed. Don´t fight the ropes, let them support you. It´s me carrying you, remember? My hands, my arms. Let us try again."
"Okay… ahahahahhhhhh…"
No, not good. I barely lifted her half an inch above the bed when it began again. That infernal twisting.
"What did I tell you, Anastasia?" I know I sound impatient, and I hate that. Palms twitching, I steal the briefest glance at the cane still lying next to her.
Old habits…
Don´t do it, I warn myself.
"I´m sorry, Christian. I can´t relax, I´m too… wired. I don´t know."
"I may have a solution for that," I say huskily, covering her lips with mine, while my hands slowly traveled down her body, following a path with scorching precision down to her newly shaved sex. My seeking fingers meet smooth skin coated in moisture.
Always ready for me, Miss Steele…
I then realize I had never touched her there without the barrier of her natural body hair.
"Open your legs, Anastasia," I murmur.
"Do you really think this will help me relax?"
"Trust me, it will. It will take the edge for both of us."
"I like all your edges, Mr. Grey."
"Miss Steele..." I hold her tied hands above her head. "Keep them there," I tell her, even though I keep a firm hold on her hands with one of mine. "Stay still."
"Won´t it ruin all your work?"
"Not if I do it right…" I let her feel the brush of my whiskers against her neck, just the way I knew she liked it.
"Christian Grey, you´re a fucking sex god!"
Yes, that is the kind of thing that does wonders to a man´s ego.
She moans when she feels my other hand between her thighs, parting her wet folds.
I don´t waste any time. One single thrust and I´m buried deep inside her.
Too much. Too tight. Too fucking good.
"The knots… They'll come undone." she pants.
I could always fix that later. Right now I want her to come undone. With me.
"Fuck the knots!"
I part her legs wider and plunge again to the hilt into her wet warmth. She cries out. There is no concern about hurting her this time, not like that day in Charlie Tango. Today she is more than ready for me. Still, I ask.
"Is this OK?"
Her fingers entwine with mine, my hands still holding her bound hands tightly.
"Christian, please."
It is all the encouragement I need. I start to move slowly, cautiously, rotating my hips in a way I knew that drove her crazy. Beneath me, she writhed, she gasped.
"Is this the way you want it, Anastasia? Easy? Or rough?"
"You know how I like it."
"I need you to tell me." I press into her, deeply. She arcs her back, tightening her legs around my hips.
"This one is all for you, baby. Tell me, who do you want now, the lover or the Dom. I´ll give it to you."
I feel her tight inner walls squeezing me. She is fucking killing me.
"Can I have them both?"
"Always. We aim to please, Miss Steele."
And please her I did.