In the beginning of the storm.
When the rain pours, and the lightening flashes,
I think of the wondrous things that appear to be alive in the fright.
Monsters, murder, death... all the things we fear the most as we live.
For me, it wasn't the chance of someone killing more; nor the chance of a creature no one has never seen, taking my last breath.
It was the fear of being happy, and being with you that flashed in the lightening.
I know, it is something that I shouldn't be in fear for,
but the truth, will always be in the storm.
The storm that covers my heart...
As the sun poured into the classroom, I bowed my head. My mind filled with the events of, my breakfast with Renji. After I had told him about my leukemia, he didn't say a word or comfort me in anyway. He just left, without a goodbye.
I think he was shocked at the news, or didn't want to believe it. Either way, he left me there to weep on my own, and to regret telling him.
My eyes narrowed at the spelling testes that were on my desk. My class was gone, and it left me alone in the classroom with Ichigo, who was cleaning the chalk-board for me. I knew he thought, that there was something wrong with me, because of the look he gave me all day. It was filled with worry, wonder, and sadness.
I sighed as I got to Astuko's test, only to see that he got all his words spelled right. With my Chappy the rabbit pen, I gave him a score and a check-mark. The large golden star stickers that were to my right, seemed to be placed on the paper after.
I noticed that all my students, got the words right. Which was a good thing on my end, because it meant that I was teaching them right, and wasn't slacking off. I wanted to just sleep, but I came to work and worked my ass off like there was nothing wrong with me.
I placed my pen down, and looked over at Ichigo as he wiped the board. I wanted to say so much to him, but then that would be an easy access to another puzzle piece of my life and personality.
I turned my head and looked out the window, to see the green leaves and the bright sun. It was a beautiful day outside, considering it was such a rainy weekend. I heard Ichigo sighed and placed the chalk-brush down, but I didn't look over at him when he was just standing there. " What's wrong, Rukia?" I heard. I looked over at him, to see the green shirt that stuck to his chest, and the washed-out blue jeans. His bright orange hair, seemed like feathers as he walked over to me and leaned forward on my desk.
With his face in mine, I blushed and glared at him with hatred. " Have you ever heard, of personal space" I growled causing him to step away from me. I wasn't in the mood for his flirtatious acts, and foolish ways. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep, I wasn't hungry so I didn't need to make dinner for myself.
He chuckled and swiftly moved to my side. Placing his large hands on the back of my chair, he spun me around to face him, I froze at the action and the closeness that we had. " Looks like someone, needs to un-whined from a bad weekend", he was right about one thing. I did have a rather bad weekend, besides the motorcycle ride he gave me, but besides that, it was shit and I need to forget about it.
" Perhaps, I did" I leaned into my chair, and he came closer to my face as I tried to create distance. Did he really want to be in my personal space, all the time?
Chills ran down my spine as a sneaky grin covered his lips, for some reason, I thought he had something up his sleeves and was going to do something devilish. " You're coming with me then", he told me. I gasped in surprise when he grabbed my hand, and pulled me from my seat at my desk.
" Ichigo, you idiot. What are you doing?" I hissed as he dragged me down the hallway. I didn't like being drag by my own-will. I liked being independent and strong, not some porcelain doll that everyone saw me as.
The young man looked over at me, through the corner of his eyes and smirked. " We're going to complete another wish, on your Bucket List, today", the tone of his voice made me question upon which wish he was talking about. If he was thinking, he was going to complete, number five tonight, he was going to be losing the only parts that made him a man.
" Why am I, frightened about you actions?" he frowned at my question. Ichigo would never be one, to have someone judge him by his actions, I learned that the hard way.
His frown disappeared and a scowl was placed on his perfect face. Why did he always want to look so angry, all the time? That was one thing, that I hated about him, from time-to-time. " Just wait, and see, will ya'", I sighed in defeat and allowed him to drag me to the entrance of the school.
It all went silent as we exited the school, and we were out in the sun-set that covered the sky. My orbs went to the last strangling clouds, that floated in the orange sky as the night came creeping up upon it.
" Can you let me go, Strawberry?", I didn't like being dragged. When Ichigo looked over at me, and then to the wrist he had a hold of, there was a certain spark in his amber orbs, that made my heart stutter and my thoughts to disappear. His eyes were so bright, in the light of the sun-set. They looked like tiny suns themselves.
He released my wrist, and waited for me to walk beside him. " What did you do on, Sunday? Since, you weren't with me", his attention was turned onto me and not to the sky that was above us.
I looked away from the mesmerizing sky, and looked over at him to see the small smile on his lips for my attention, which was now blessed upon him. " ... I went to breakfast with a friend of mine", I didn't want to tell him that I went to breakfast to see Renji, since he and the red-head didn't really get along according to Tatsuki and, well, everybody.
Ichigo shoved his hands into his jean pockets, and set his eyes on the sky above. I followed suit, because I rarely looked at the sky and it was ,probably, one of the things I was going to miss most when I die. " How'd that go for ya'?", his eyes never left the sky.
I snorted and shook my head at the question. " If it went well, do you think I would be the way I am today?", I heard him chuckle and sigh softly at the truth. If everything with Renji, went well and he didn't run-away, then I would be 'blue' or down.
" True enough" he said. I glanced over at him, to see that the scowl he had on his face earlier had disappeared, and was replaced by a relaxed expression. I liked it. The expression, gave him a whole different look to him... a look that I loved on him.
" You're not scowling, right now", I told him softly. He looked over me, with a questionable look on his face. " I like it", when he heard those three words, a blush covered his cheeks and he looked to the sky once again.
I rolled my eyes and looked down at the sidewalk. My petite shadow seemed like a giant to me, since I was taller than what I really was, in my shadow. Then, next to mine, was Ichigo's. It seemed to be relaxed, and calm compared to the true person. I preferred, Ichigo's relaxed shadow look then his usual, bad-ass look that made other drool -even me, sometimes. It was a different side to him, that he hid, and only allowed out when I was around.
" Hey, Rukia", the sound of his voice causing me to look over at the relaxed look in his amber orbs. I wanted to melt at the sight of his eyes, it was like mountain upon mountains of caramel, just the thought of the delicious treat made my stomach rumble and roar. Now, I was hungry?
In seconds my stomach, went dead and back to usual. " Yeah?", I was curious to what he would say to me. It seemed like today, we weren't getting on one another nerves or arguing, it was new to me.
Ichigo took a moment to speak, but when he did, I never thought I would hear him say what he did. " Why do you want me to figure you out? Do you even have, yourself figured out?"
I was silent at his question. Did I have myself, figured out? No, but I was getting there quickly and soon, I would know all about myself. " I-I guess, I never really had time to think about: who I am. My life has been, just a set of wild-cards that turned to evil, in my eyes. Now, that everything is going "down-hill". I've been doing what, I really wanted to do, a long time ago", he stopped walking and looked up and down my body slowly. " What?", I giggled.
Ichigo shook his head slightly, and bowed his head as he thought of what to say. " Where have you been, all my life, Midget?", I blinked at his question and shrugged.
" Easy, I've been the bottom-feeder for the longest time. You just never noticed me, or got to know me in the light that you are now".
Ichigo went silent as we walked down the sidewalk, I didn't know where we were going. But, I really didn't care at the moment, because I trusted that he wouldn't harm me in anyway. It seemed like something that he would never do, and I hope I was right. I glance over at Ichigo, only to have butterflies flutter in my stomach. I was really falling for him.
I shook my head at the realization of my feelings and what I was feeling for the surgeon. I closed my eyes as the tears pricked them softly, I didn't want to leave him or anyone, but I needed to get out that and move on. " Rukia, you can't fall any deeper with this guy", I told myself, but that was impossible.
I remembered telling myself that over and over again, when I first met Ichigo. Just saying that, through the years, didn't help me. It made me worse. I fall in love with him, over and over, just by thinking about, how I shouldn't fall in love with him. It seems like, when you know something isn't good for you, you do it anyways, for the hell of it. Even if, it is going to have a terrible out-come.
My story, doesn't have a terrible out-come in my mind, but in Ichigo's and everyone else, they might think about it differently. I didn't really care, if they thought it was something that was a mistake, because, that mistake gave me all this.
" Ichigo... have you ever done something that you, could never forget or give?", I asked him. I wanted to know, if he had anything in his life that he regretted. There was bound to be a few, at the age of 25, you had a tone of mistakes and wished you could fix them; but then you know that you can't go back in time, and erase them.
Our mistakes, is our building blocks of live. I have made tones of mistakes, but they all gave something... they gave me experience and hope for a new light.
I will never want to forget or forgive my mistakes, because they make me, me.
" No. I've done, a lot of bad things in my life, like bullying you. But, I would never want to take those mistakes back, because they made me stronger and become who I am today. I can apologize for my words towards you, but they will never disappear and be taken away" he looked over me with kind eyes, that made me hold my breath. The deep swirls of amber, gave me the chills. " If I didn't make my mistakes, then I wouldn't be here... or be with you, for the matter of fact. If making mistakes, got me here, somewhere in my life were I am happy and, trying to move forward with my life. Then, I will gladly accept them as my path to today", his words were wise and strong in my ears.
This is the few moments, I got the true Ichigo, peaking out and saying "hello, I'm here". Even in the this story, I really, got a lot of him out but, then there were the moment that I wished I didn't. Those moment, were soon to come, trust me when I say this, you will be rather memorized by the way we became to be.
" What if, I am a mistake in your life, Ichigo? What if, I bring you nothing but tears and sorrow? Maybe, I bring you dark days, and horrible storms. I can be, the devil, and kill you or your heart", I said quietly. I saw myself like that. I saw myself, as the devil, since my leukemia made ours lives, miserable and sad. Look at Renji, he couldn't be near me after I told him.
" Rukia, if you are a mistake...", my heart began to pound as he trailed out. Why was I nervous, for what he was going to say? Maybe, I wanted to hear him say that he want me more than anything. " Then, I never want to get rid of you. Since I met you, there has been a lot of questions that I hold for myself", I blinked at his words. I looked over at him to see that he was staring down at me, with caring eyes. Damn. He really was something, that held my heart. " If you're the devil, then I am a satanist, cause I would never want to get rid of. You are changing me for the better, and for the worst at time". I wanted to sad tears, but tears of happiness.
Ichigo made me, the happiest girl that day. He made me realize, that no matter what happens to be, that I will have mistakes, and if those mistake were were going to be my last then I mind-as-well, let them change me. He was and is my last mistake... and he changed me forever.
My eyes sparked in the darkness of the night. I looked over at Ichigo, who was to my right and noticed the smile on his lips. This was his plan, to make me feel better? To take me, to a bar in Karakura. " Ichigo, why are we here?"
He smirked and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. When I noticed, that it was my Bucket List, my eyes widen at the sight. He had it, with him. " I pacifically, remember the number one being: Get wasted", I blushed at his words and mentally cursed myself for putting that on the list.
" I forgot, about that one" I whispered to myself, but he heard and grabbed my hand in his. My blush that was upon my pale cheeks, brightened and burned my skin at the gesture. " Ichigo?", for some reason, I couldn't get enough of his name. I loved to say it, and to hear it, but there was a evil part of it that I didn't enjoy.
That part, was soon to come, in my life. And I will never say, that again.
He leaned down, make his nose brush against mine and the blush to creep onto my neck. " Don't worry about it, short-cake. I'm going to be here for you, till the end of this list", he whispered. I narrowed my eyes at him for the name " short-cake", really, of all times he said it now.
" You're such a dick!" I exclaimed. Ichigo rolled his eyes, as I tore my hand from his and marched into the bar.
When I entered, I left my liver screaming for me not to do this, but I ignored. The sight of the smoke covered air, musky and dim-lights gave me a side of nervousness for the bar. I looked to the right to see, a pool-table were men and women played. Most of them were men, with women who were trying to be seductive at the moment, with their pool-sticks and short skirt.
Looking to the right, there were wooden tables with men sitting down talk about their long day of work. Some where, arm wrestling for fun, but I didn't really pay any mind to them.
A large hand was placed on my shoulder, and a person leaned to my ear. " Midget, the bar in straight ahead", was whispered. I turned my head, only to have my lips close to Ichigo's as he looked at me with a grin.
" Oi, Ichigo!", I gasped at the loud shout and looked over to see someone with long blue hair. It can't be! As the person walked forward, and I nearly died at the sight of, Grimmejow.
" Sup, Grim?" Ichigo chuckled as he looked at the tall and slightly tanned man, with his large muscles and tight abs. I looked at his narrow face, with his wondrous eyes that made me melt -a long time ago.
Ichigo felt me tense at the sight of, Grimmejow and wrapped an arm around my shoulder trying to get me to relax, which worked but it didn't erase the fact, my ex-boyfriend, was standing right in front of me. " Just here, doing the usually", I heard Grimmejow say with his husky voice that brought memories to my mind. When he looked down at me, he was shocked "Now, now. What is the Kuchiki-princess, doing in a bar? I thought, big bad nii-sama, doesn't approve, let alone you being with, Ichigo", the hatred in his voice made me rolled my eyes.
I and Grimmejow, didn't have a great break-up. Actually, he was the one who was dumped, I believe. The only reason why, was because he constantly insulted my hero and my only family... Byakuya. It killed me, every-time he would say "He's got a stick shoved so far, up his pansy ass" that I couldn't take it anymore and the fact he cheated on me. So, I dumped him, on the day my brother decided to come home to visit me.
Maybe it was my fault for Grimmejow's hate, for my brother. I never did tell him, that my brother was my hero and that he did great things for people. But, yet again, when we first met he was cursing my brother. I should have known that, the relationship wouldn't work-out.
Ichigo gave me a puzzled look before he looked at Grimmejow, who was staring at me with daggers. " Actually, we're here, for a special occasion", I looked over at Ichigo for his words. What was he talking about?
" What did, Byakuya die?", I glared at Grimmejow and slapped him with all the force that was in my hand.
" Listen here, you blue-haired dick head! My brother, didn't do shit to you, and honestly, you don't even know him. Why don't you go to that whore you were cheating on me with, about a mile away!", I wanted to smash a table over his head, but Ichigo held me in my spot.
Grimmejow smirked as he looked at me, and then looked to Ichigo. " Good luck, with my sloppy seconds. She doesn't even know how, to ride", I gasped at his words and felt the fire in my eyes begin to burn in anger.
" You didn't say that, well you were being fucked out of your mind, about two or more years ago", I snapped. Ichigo froze at my words, and looked at me with a daze in his eyes. Yes, I and Grimmejow, had sex a few times.
" Please, if you were that good, then I would have not cheated", I felt Ichigo's arms snake around my waist and pull me closer to his wonderful chest. He had enough.
" Come on, Midget. Let's go get you a drink, and leave Grimmejow alone", his hissed as he pulled me to the bar. I looked at his expression, with the anger in his eyes and the hate in his appearance. Was he jealous?
" Strawberry-kun, are you alright?", he growled at the name but it was only fair, since he commented on my height. I sat down next to him on a bar stole and, placed a hand on his strong bicep, making my fingers tingle at the touch.
He snapped a glance towards and then to the bar-tender who was drooling over him at the moment. I glared at the women. I didn't like the way she was looking at Ichigo-... Wait, was I jealous? Shit! " Two shots of vodka, on the rocks", he told the women who literally ran for his order. How sick.
I was too busy, glaring my hate for the bartender, and I didn't noticed the long look that Ichigo was giving me as I did so. " I just didn't like, the way he was talk to you", I heard his sigh to himself. I snapped out of my glare and looked over at him, with softened eyes. He cared, for the way I was spoke to. " I know that there is a huge story, behind his tone and actions towards you, but I don't really care. You're a women -a quite beautiful women- who deserves respect. Besides, I know your brother and he doesn't deserve such vile curse towards him. He is like an angel to people, who need help with their dreams". I smiled at his words and felt my heart-beat race as I looked at him in a daze.
The way he spoke about my brother, was something that I will never forget. Ichigo, seemed to be praising my brother, for being a good man who helped others. It was something that, I did myself. " Thank you, Ichigo", I whispered to him.
He went silent at my words, and took my hand in his. It was nice to see, his soft side. It made him look normal and not some person you would see in a manga. " Two shots", a cheer voice told us. The bartender placed the two small glasses down on the counter and went to other customers at the end of the bar.
I and Ichigo gripped a shot each in our hand, and took in a deep breath. " This is my first shot", I whispered in a chuckle. It seemed so fast, first is was the motorcycle ride and now my first shot of vodka. Ichigo was making me do things that I dreamed of, and wrote down. Before I knew him, I thought that my Bucket List was nothing but a fantasy and a dream, but now, it was real. Thanks to him.
He raised his shot into the air towards me, with a smile on his lips. " To mistakes, and your first", he said before downing the shot. I watched at the liquor disappeared from his shot glass, when he slapped it down and chuckled softly, I shook my head with a bright smile on my lips. I was having fun, more fun then I have had in a long time. " Your turn, Hamster", he snickered as he looked at my full shot glass.
I took in a deep breath. " To leukemia and to you, Ichigo", I thought to myself before downing the vodka.
My face twisted as I placed the shot glass down, and felt the vodka trickle down my throat into my stomach. It was bitter, and disgusting. " That was terrible, Strawberry", I coughed from the taste. I heard Ichigo laughing at me, with a hand he rubbed my back and told me to take deep breathes. " What the fuck, made you decide upon that disgusting shit?"
Ichigo shook his head and lifted my chin up with his thumb. " I wanted to see, if you could handle the hard stuff, first. Before, we continue on the long line of bottles", it made sense to me. I might as well, get the hard stuff done so it won't take long for me to get wasted. Then, it was the chance to experiment with new liquor. " Come on, lets get some Jack up in here", he smiled. I swear he was having a great time, watching me cough at the horrible taste of vodka.
Never again, would I touch a bottle of vodka. Never, ever.
I raised my hand slightly at the bartender, causing her to come to the both of us. " Four shots of Jack", I ordered. Ichigo looked at me with a surprised look " I needed to get this taste out of my mouth", I told him. Nothing was worse than the taste, of vodka that drenched my mouth.
"Alright, Mouse", he teased. When the shots arrived, I didn't think twice and downed both in seconds. Ichigo was shocked by my actions, and clapped loudly at my decision. " That's a girls", he chuckled. It seemed like my decision, gave me respect.
" Okay, that was way, better than the vodka", I smiled as I placed the shots on the counter.
Ichigo shook his head as he chuckled, before downing his two shots. " How about this? A shot for a question. The first to get shit-faced, is the loser and has to get a life story out of the other", I laughed at his words. I could see what he was trying to do. Since, I have never really drank before, I was most likely going to lose. It was basically, an easier way to get my story from him.
" No way", I giggled. I wasn't going to give him the easy way out, of my puzzle.
Ichigo smirked " What? Are you a little chicken shit", I gasped at his words and narrowed my eyes at him before kicking his leg quickly.
"No, I just don't want to give you the easy road", he chuckled at my words and called the bartender over once again. " Keep it coming with the shots, anything works", the women nodded and started to line-up the glasses. " Are you saying, that you will lose anyways?"
" Exactly, I know that I will lose, because I have never truly drank before", it was common sense. I was going to be the one, to spill the beans. Not Ichigo, me. It was fact.
He handed me a shot of Jack, and took one in his hand. " Live a little, and stop being a stick in the mud, like the other Kuchiki's", a vein popped in my head as his words. I hated being thought of as, another Kuchiki. I was far from them, even my brother said that I wasn't like them, that I was different and more normal then them. So, Ichigo saying that was an insult.
I grabbed a shot glass and glared at him with anger. " Get ready, to eat the dust in the air, Koursaki Strawberry. I'm winning", I growled as I drowned the liquor.
The world was spinning, literally spinning. After, what seemed like three hours of shots, I was ready to vomit and pass-out. I couldn't even think straight, but all I knew was that Ichigo had lost the challenge, thankfully.
" I...won", I hiccuped to the surgeon as he spun around on his stole. I found myself laughing at his actions, with a hand I grabbed his arm and stopped him. " Ichi, tell me... your story", my tongue was slurred as he looked at me with his dazed eyes.
Ichigo hiccuped as he looked over at Grimmejow who was staring at us, for some reason. Maybe, it was because he has never seen me drunk before. " T-That blue kitty, is looking at us", he slurred. When he grabbed me into his arms, I giggled and blushed deeply at the embrace "He isn't eating my mouse", he stated.
Instead of yelling or hitting him over the head, I laughed at his comment and wrapped my arms around the drunk surgeon. " Ichi-go", I hiccuped as he held me tightly in his arms. " Tell me, about your life", I insisted.
Ichigo chuckled and placed me on his laps as he sniffed me hair. Being drunk, isn't something either of us are, good with. " When, I was a around five or six. My mom, brought me to a school for me to fight, that's where I met, Tatsuki. One day, when she was bringing me home from the dojo, we ran into a gang of trouble-makers who were looking for some fun", the slur in his voice was strong, but when he got the gang he went serious. " The pushed me aside, breaking my arm. They took my mother into the alley-way and started to rape her. When they were done with her, they just left her there with me and ran off, like it never happened", it was hard to hear that Masaki was raped. She was so nice and kind, that I would've never known about it. I guess, that was what she wanted. She wanted to keep it a secret.
" Ichigo, you don't have to continue", I told him as I noted the tears that were forming in his eyes. It break my intoxicated heart. I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled into his chest for comfort. " Don't cry", i whispered to him.
He ran his fingers through my hair, and held me close to him. I didn't want him to be alone or feel like I wasn't there for him, because I wanted to be there for him, for everything, till the end. " Sometimes, I fear that they will come back and take the one person, I truly care for, even if, I don't know it yet", he sniffed.
I looked up to see the tears in his eyes. I wiped the tears that danced down his cheeks away and stood in between his legs to do so. I cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead softly " Sometimes, our biggest fear is the one that will bring you closer to the things you want the most, but don't know it yet", I told him.
Ichigo looked into my soft eyes, and leaned forward slightly. " What are afraid of, right now?" he whispered near my lips.
I held my toxic filled breath and searched his amber eyes as they twinkled down at me with care. My fingers intertwined in his hair as, I was pressed against him still. " You", I whispered. I was afraid, to fall in love with Ichigo. To love him, and then leave him like he was nothing. I was afraid to try and love him, and to kiss him. " I want to get over that fear, but I don't want to hurt you or feel guilty by the end of it, all", I whispered.
His hand cupped my cheek and brought me closer to him. My lips brushed against his softly " Never think about, what may happen, just do", he whispered. I bit my bottom lip, and stepped away from him.
" Can you take me home, Ichi?" I hiccuped. The slightly blush that was on his cheeks brightened as he grabbed my hand, and lead me to the door.
" Yeah", he told me. As we walked side-by-side, we were silent.
When I nearly fall over from my head spinning, I felt Ichigo grab me and hold me up right. " Oops", I chuckled as I held onto him. He laughed and wrapped an arm around me as we continued our journey. I looked at the stars and laughed loudly. " There's tiny dots in the sky", I chuckled.
" They're called, uh, s-stars", he slurred. I noticed my apartment complex across the road, and went to run but Ichigo kept me in place. " N-No" he spoke as he pulled me closer to him. I was starting to think he wasn't that drunk, since he could control himself and make sense. I didn't even here a single hiccup out of his lips, anymore.
I moaned softly as I wrapped my arms around his waist, and following his steps. " I wanna go home", I whined as my liver throbbed in my stomach. I knew it was only going to be worse in the morning, and that I was going to regret ever drinking. " Why did you make me, do that?" I hiccuped. The heat in my cheeks began to heat up once again, and my sight became blurry.
Ichigo released me from his hold and began to watch me with a close eyes. When I stumbled from side to side, he grabbed my shoulders and kept me still. " Rukia?" he questioned. Just by the look of me, he knew that I was drunk and didn't have a clue about what was going on.
" I wanna go see, Chappy", I slurred. My body leaned against his hold and started to go limp, with a yawn I closed my eyes and sighed " I can love, but I don't want to die and leave the one, I love behind like Nee-san", I whispered. Ichigo narrowed his eyes at me, and shook his head. " Ichi?" my voice was stumbled and weak as I called for him.
"Mmmhmm", he hummed as he grabbed me into his arms. He walked down the sidewalk with me in his arms, bringing my drunk-ass back to my apartment.
" I'm sorry", I sniffed. Ichigo froze at my words and looked at me with wonder for what, I was apologizing for. " I don't want to push you away, but I don't want to you love, because I can't hurt you like, Hisana when she died. There is enough people who will weep for me, and I don't want another to shed a tear-", in my drunken state I found myself seeing the truth of tonight. I was falling for him, and I wasn't going to stop. But there was this other side to everything, I didn't want to be my sister and I didn't want Ichigo to turn into my brother. Wondering the planet for the cure, and t hoping to save someone life, when there was probably no way to.
Ichigo reached my apartment in the short silence we had, and placed me down at my door. I fumbled with the keys that, were in my jean pocket and unlocked the door. " Goodnight, Ichigo", I hiccuped. I went to close the door but he stopped it, with his hand.
" When you said that you were afraid of me, I started to wonder why you trust me...", his voice sounded hurt at the moment. " Then, you went on tonight about how, you don't want to be your sisters shadow", I looked directly at him and sighed. That was probably the main thing about me, I never wanted to be someones shadow. Not my families, nor my friends. I wanted to be myself. " Rukia, you'll never be someone else. But you have to over-come your fears soon or later", when I heard his telling that I needed to face my fears, I found my feet moving towards him.
" I-I just don't want to hurt you", I told him. When I was right in front of him, he cupped my cheek softly and closed his eyes in disappointment. " I don't even know, why you try to get me, Ichigo. I'm a lost cause".
I felt his forehead against mine, I looked into his beautiful eyes and felt shivers go down my spine. The passionate swirls were beautiful in his eyes, and the intensity in them made my knee's buckle. He mouth watering. " Rukia, I try because... you are the most memorizing women I have ever met. You're the first to actually set me, straight and make me act differently... just being with you makes me different-", his words made my heart flutter and my blood race. I couldn't hear anymore, when my lips pressed against his and I felt the soft texture of his lips, I felt like I was floating.
He tasted better than, I imagined. He tasted like honey, so sweet and overwhelming that you can't get enough of it. Sugar, the dust like substance that many were addicted to, and can't live without. Spice, he made my lips burn with passion and let me with a thrill. He had lips of silk, that engulfed me like the ocean. Each moment of our lips, brought me deeper and deeper into passion.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, allowing my body to press against his, so I could get more of him. I never thought that kissing, one man would make like this. As my fingers tangled in his orange locks, I felt his velvet tongue against my lips causing me to snap out of my trance.
I pulled away with a pant, and looked into his eyes that were filled with lush and want. " I-I shouldn't have done that", I whispered before placing my arms to my side. My hand went to my lips. What was getting into me?
Ichigo looked upset that I was act like this, and stopped kissing him. I was rather upset, that I stopped as well. I wanted to keep going, and see how it felt to be with him. But, there was tiny voice in my head screaming, for me to stop and think about it all.
I looked up at him once again, and grabbed his hand in mine. He was shocked by my gesture. " Just once... once, I want to have someone to hold and love. I don't want someone who, is going to cheat on me and then insult my family. I want him... I want Ichigo. Was that so much to ask?" , I thought to myself. Maybe, it was the alcohol that was clouding my judgment and wasn't allowing me to think straight.
Our finger laced through each others, and I pulled inside the apartment. The door closed quietly as, I pulled him down to me once more. " Just once", I whispered as our lips met and pulled me into the passion filled waves, that clouded my mind.
As the kiss deepened, our tongues went into a war of dominate and con-core. My skin tingled and sparked, as his hands gripped my side and kept me close. I felt a moan leave my throat as he won the battle of passion, that was ended and left me in defeat. My arms that were at his neck once again, came down his sides and gripped the rim of his shirt that was hiding his body, from my orbs.
"WAIT!" , I heard my mind scream. I didn't tense in the kiss but continued, and released his shirt. " You're dying, Rukia. You can't just get into a relationship, and then die on the person you love... it's not right. Don't you remember the constant cries of Byakuya when, Hisana died. Do you want, Ichigo to be like that?" , I pulled away from his lips and stepped away. " I should have never done that", I told him. I looked up at his red lips and closed my eyes " Ichigo, can you please leave. I-I-I can't continue this", I told him. I knew it was probably going to break his heart, but had to be done. I didn't want to have him suffer more than, I am.
" Goodnight, Midget", he said in a sad tone.
" Goodnight, Strawberry", I said before he walked out of the apartment. I felt tears in my eyes when I heard, his foot steps going down the stairs and into the parking lot.
How could I do that? I just broke his heart, and didn't even think about the out-come. " I'm sorry, Ichigo", I whispered as tears drained from my eyes and covered my skin.
In the mist of all my tears, I felt the heat of the alcohol raise in my throat causing me to dash to the washroom, and to pray to the porcelain. The vomit burned and my head pounded as it poured out. This was what the results of drinking got me.
Xsamxp- Sorry for making you wait, and for Renji. There wasn't really a reaction to his knowing, since he didn't know what to do. In this chapter, Rukia and Ichigo, actually got a lot of puzzle pieces. Good-luck to you as well, in school! And its nice to hear about your school schedule, but school is more important. Thank you, for the review! I can't wait to hear from you again! Please, review again!
EmpressMinea- Awe, really that means a lot to me, that you ,hopefully. It takes a long time for me to write the poems, plus they kinda set the mood for the chapter. For the sudden change from IchiRuki to RenRuki, was so everyone could see what happened with Ichigo and that Rukia is also, started to accept the fact that she is dying. Also, it was to give you guys a taste of what, it is like for her to tell people about her leukemia. So, when she does tell Ichigo, you all know how she feels when she tells him. Please Review again! And thank you for reviewing!
zitag- Thank you for the review, it was a breath of fresh air! I'm glad you are going to keep reading, even if the ending is going to be not so "happy", but who knows, now a days there are cures for leukemia. Hopefully, this chapter was good for you and for my inspiration! It's kinda, solid since I haven't had a writers block session yet. Hope to read another review from you again! And can't wait to read it, as well!
Tell me, what you all thought of the chapter! It took a long time to write, but is seemed to go well. How did you all find the kiss? What do you think will come next in Ichigo and Rukia quest to complete her Bucket List?
Until next Monday, hope you all have a great week!