Wake, feel your worth
oh my soul
speak the word
the word that can save us all

~
Stand And Feel Your Worth - Thrice

Elijah pulled the box from the shelf it had been left upon, untouched for centuries. It was strange, opening up the top and finding real proof that he had once attempted to open his heart to another after Tatia.

He trailed his fingers over the dust covered vial. It brought back nothing more than bitter memories of a vulnerable time. Love is a vampire's greatest weakness, his brother's words seared through his mind like a hot iron, And we are not weak, Elijah.

Katerina had not given him the time to love her, and seeing as how it would have led him to a similar fate, he was thankful.

He'd saved the tonic as a reminder of such faults but he never dreamt it could ever again serve a purpose.

After assuring him that she would try to get more sleep (which she knew would be impossible for a multitude of reasons), he had asked her to find him when she woke so he could inform her of the finer details of what was going to happen. When he had reached to switch off the light as he stood to leave, she had quickly spoken up to ask him not to.

Instead she lay still under the covers, staring up at the ceiling and the small rainbows projected upon it. It was a truly beautiful sight; multi-colored fragments of light covering the room like a blanket of stars.

She would not feel comfortable in the dark for a very long time.

Her thoughts never strayed too far from her nightmares, which easily coexisted with just what exactly it was she was getting herself into.

While she was afraid of what was to come, it felt good to be able to make up her own mind for once. She finally felt like she could serve some form of purpose. Her life was in her own hands and she was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure Klaus never made it near her family and friends. She nearly shivered. The things he had done to his own family were horrible enough.

The idea of being free to make her own decisions led her to think of Stefan and Damon. They were all probably going crazy over her whereabouts back at home by now and she knew for sure they would not be happy with her eagerness to help Elijah's cause – Stefan would surely think she had lost her mind and Damon would hear nothing of it...

Jenna and Jeremy would have the police involved by now. Though it hurt her to think of how panicked they must be over not knowing where she was, she almost scoffed out loud at the thought of cops attempting to 'apprehend' Elijah – it would be a horrible thing to witness.

Maybe this new agreement would lower her boundaries some and she could at least contact them to let them know that she was okay...ish.

It was an odd coincidence that she had willingly gone to Klaus in her dreams because it was exactly what she was doing now. She knew she had surprised Elijah with the concept, but it was a reason for helping that he finally seemed to consent with. He of all people understood the importance of protecting family.

After a few hours had passed and attempting to rest became more bothersome than helpful, she decided to give up on it altogether.

As she rose from the bed to grab her clothes from her bag, Elijah's jacket caught her eye. He had left it sprawled upon the floor, something she'd never imagined him doing, the greyness of it darkened to black where it was still damp with her tears.

She quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater before picking it up from the ground.

It was heavy in her hands, the woodsy aroma of nature mixed with the minty-sweet scent of cologne he always seemed to bear drifting up from it. The familiarity she felt with it due to the night before slightly shook her.

There was no denying the fact that she had found comfort in his actions.

He failed to openly admit it after the fact but she wanted to believe he did it because regretted hurting her. She was sure she had felt it in the form of a soft kiss – though she still had trouble deciding if it was imagined it or not. Regardless, the look on his face while he held her was proof enough.

For a while, she had held him too.

Facing so many horrid circumstances over such a short period of time caused any form of consolation to be graciously welcomed – leaving desperation far behind at this point – and that's exactly what they had provided one another.

What was harder to place was why he remained there with her well into the night. She had woken up exactly where she'd fallen asleep. An act that considerate was hard not to read into.

The way he had recoiled from her touch when she tried to soothe him the previous day led her to believe that it bothered him, yet he showed no signs of discomfort as he returned the favor to her in the dark.

Because he couldn't see my face, she thought sardonically to herself, though she knew his eyes could see just as well during the night as in broad daylight – if not better.

She smoothed Elijah's jacket over her arms before stepping out to find him.

Entering the hallway, Elena noticed all the doors remained closed aside from the bathroom (which was easy to see now lacked the ability to shut properly) and one other just past it at the end of the corridor.

She made her way to the entrance to discover what appeared to be a study.

Thick volumes and a set of atlases stamped with glinting golden letters, along with a plethora of dusty looking knickknacks, strewed a long row of shelves that covered most of the far wall. Hundreds of paper clippings were pinned in neat rows around the wood of the outer edges, nearly hiding the shelves' contents from view. A large window claiming the adjacent wall would have shed more light into the space, but the dense storm clouds kept the early morning nearly as dark as night.

A stout, wooden desk took up the the middle of the room, supporting a small lamp that casted warm light over a scattered pile of yellowing newspapers, an ancient looking wooden box, and a sweating glass of iced bourbon.

Elijah was opposite the desk, partially leaned forward with his knuckles pressed to the surface, causing his hair to partially fall over eyes that were focused on one of the newsprints. The arms of his undershirt were scrunched at his elbows as if he'd been busy with something.

Her mind slipped back to the first time he'd looked like this and she had to look away.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked, glancing over her once as she stepped in the room, his obsidian eyes warmed by the soft light.

"No," she only shook her head, hoping an explanation would not be needed. "What is all this?" She asked, moving across the space to distract herself with the headlines of various clippings.

Violent String of Murders, Bodies Found Drained of Blood, Chicago Serial Murderer – she cringed at the same time her eyes widened at just how many there were.

"Though I've kept a safe distance, I have been tracking him for a while now," he declared, an obvious understatement, pulling her attention over her shoulder to him. "A perverse game of cat and mouse, so to speak."

"If you know where he is, why haven't you made a move already?" She asked, turning towards him. Her voice did nothing to hide the sickness of the words she'd just read.

He leaned forward to sift through the papers before him. "He has a very powerful circle of associates and has grown increasingly paranoid over time… He no longer leaves a trail," he clarified, the later referencing her disgust.

"So how do we find him?" She asked abruptly, strictly business. Klaus' atrocities seemed to keep piling up. He needed to be stopped.

Elijah froze for a fraction of a second before standing straight as he noticed both her change of tone and her casual use of the word 'we'. He couldn't decide if he liked the sound of it or not. "We do not find Klaus– he finds us."

"And how do you know that's going to happen any time soon?" She lifted a brow at him.

"Back at that abandoned house, you mentioned Katerina possessed the moonstone and is trapped with it in Mystic Falls," he reminded her (though she had not merely mentioned it, she had been compelled). "It's a fortunate circumstance he won't be able to resist."

She felt her heart rate pick up at the mention of her home town. "I don't want him anywhere near Mystic Falls. Isn't there another way to draw him out?"

He picked up on the despair in her voice. "The ritual must occur in the birthplace of the doppelgänger… although, if you keep your word to help I can offer your family's protection throughout the ordeal. Klaus is not the only one to have acquired vast resources." His tone hinted pride.

"Deal." She easily accepted, putting her trust in him yet again. If she was going down, she'd see to it that no one she cared for was going with her. "Vast resources being?"

"Powerful witches." He assured her.

She shifted the weight of his jacket in her crossed arms, remembering it for the first time since she'd entered the room. The movement caused his eyes to linger curiously on it for a moment.

"I felt really bad for this," she said sincerely, pushing the jacket out slightly in his direction. "I feel bad for yesterday in general… I don't know what came over me."

He thought it over for a moment. "I do not hold you at fault, Elena. You are only human." His tone lacked his usual distaste for the word.

"So were you." She offered lowly, earning her a short glance of dejection. "That was clear in your actions last night."

"I thought we were beyond this?" His tone leaned closer to stern.

She took the hint to stop pushing and instead gave a small apologetic grin down to the garment in her arms. "At this rate, you're going to run out of suits over me."

His eyes lit up a fraction with a tight smile that didn't quite make it to his lips. "While I am humbled by your concern, clothing is the last thing I'm worried about right now."

An unexpected blush threatened her at his choice of words. "Well, I never did thank you," she took a breath to choose her next words carefully. "I know I wasn't the only one in pain last night, Elijah. I'm sorry for my part in it."

He furrowed his brow and shot a glance at the roof as if he were about to object, but the look vanished as quickly as it had appeared. His tongue flicked across his bottom lip.

"You would be quite surprised by my tolerance," he muttered in a tone that articulated uncomfortable (though Elena could only focus on the fact that he didn't deny it). "Come. I have something to show you." He gestured toward the desk with a quick wave of his hand, successfully burying the previous topic of discussion.

She stepped forward, growing a little anxious over whatever it was he was going to present. Her hold on his jacket instinctively tightened as she neared.

He rested a hand on top of the wooden box before the weight of his eyes fell heavily onto hers. "While I can make you no guarantees, I could not live with myself if I did not attempt to return an offer as gracious as your help."

Her inquisitive gaze left his and fell onto the box, just as he unlatched it and lifted the top open.

"If the ritual goes as planned," he began carefully, "Klaus will have a witch activate the spell bound to the moonstone when the full moon is at its peak." He lifted the small vial from the box, slowly rolling it in his hand. "Being both a vampire and a werewolf, he will have to sacrifice one of each before drinking the blood of the doppelgänger – to the point of your death."

Elena swallowed down a lump of fear that had formed in the back of her throat. No matter how carefully he had uttered those words, they would still have made her skin crawl.

"After, while in transition, Klaus will be at his weakest state and I plan on taking full advantage of it." It was a promise.

Though she had tried to prepare herself for this, the reality of it was much more terrifying than she expected. She fought back images of the shadowed figure from her nightmares. It all seemed much too real now.

"This however," he interrupted her unwanted visions with a pointed look toward his hand, "is an elixir I acquired for Katerina long ago." He held the vial out toward her. "It is said to possess mythical properties – of resuscitation."

He stopped for a moment to gauge her reaction to his words.

"So… I'll be dead…"

"And then you won't."

A look of what could only be hope lit her features as she un-tucked an arm from under his jacket to reach out and take the glass container from him. Her slightly shaking fingers barely grazed the skin of his palm.

"You truly cared for her, didn't you?" She asked quietly, her question hitting him, always unexpected.

He pulled his empty hand away and cleared his throat. "That mistake was made over five hundred years ago… which is why I cannot guarantee the elixir still holds its effectiveness."

She took a closer look at the elegantly crafted vial, shifting it slightly in her hand to watch the liquid contents swirl around the bottom of the glass. Her mind, however, was focused completely on the fact that he was attempting to save her life.

"Then why offer it?" It came out as nearly a whisper but its need of an answer was evident.

He stared at her in silence for a moment with unreadable eyes, though a battle was being fought behind them. He had demanded it be made for Katerina because he could not stand to see her die for Klaus' benefit – what was his excuse this time?

He stepped to close the space between them, reaching out with a slow moving hand to wrap her fingers closed securely around the vial under his own.

"Because unlike Katerina, you've shown me your worth."

His touch was cool and light, pulling away just as quickly as he had approached, but the ring of admiration that drenched his tone sent a warm wave of flitters though her stomach. This was not the heat of anger or fear – no. It was something much different.

"At the risk of sounding selfish, can I ask for one more thing?" She asked in a hushed tone, her head still swimming slightly as she looked up at him in the same way that had gotten him to spill his family's darkest secrets to her. "Can I contact my family somehow? Just in case…"

He hesitated, clearly struggling over something in his mind. "I do not think it wise… Your family is not accurately aware of your absence," he stated ruefully with a slight squint of his eyes, "you are on an extended vacation until I alone inform them otherwise."

"All of them?" She shot the question at him through a gasp.

"The names that made up the contact list of your cellular phone." He spoke now as if it were nothing more than a formality.

All of them, she confirmed to herself, and for a moment she felt like she was going to be sick.

She took a step back from him. No one had even known that she'd been missing… "How…?" Her voice broke over the word.

"Compulsion. I can compel both humans and vampires using voice alone. It is a honed skill, exclusive to originals – but effective nonetheless." Though her shock was obvious, he showed no reaction to it as he slipped back over to stoic. "I used your phone to ensure they would answer. It was the lighter option of the few I had."

As his words took meaning, she didn't know whether to be angry at him for deceiving her loved ones or to be glad he didn't harm them. It was almost foolish to thinking he hadn't done anything to prevent them from searching for her. It must have been easy to smooth out every fine detail of a millennium-long plan for revenge when nothing else mattered.

He listened as her heart rate began to decline to a semi-normal pace though she still eyed him with heated skepticism.

"I've been nothing but honest with you – even when it's been sorely against my better judgment. I will do whatever it takes to see to it that this goes as planned. Never forget that." If he meant for his words to sound threatening, they had been effective.

"It's just… I thought…"

"Stop searching, Elena. Even if I wanted to feel something more than fine-tuned revulsion, I fear that time has long passed. My actions toward you have been out of kindness but I can just as easily revoke them."

His words made her still for a moment, just long enough for her to make a decision. She put the elixir down on the desk with a loud 'thud' dropping his coat down beside it.

She did not lash out, she did not voice the opposing words that begged to be released – she simply used her last bit of frustration-fueled bravery to step over to him and wrap her arms around his shoulders in a warm embrace.

He tensed under her touch, his unmoving state making it feel like she was holding a stone pillar instead of a man. The longest seconds she'd ever experienced ticked by as she waited for him to respond.

There were a million different things he could have said at that moment; a million fowl names he could have called her for having the audacity to embrace him; a million words he could string together in an attempt to show her at least a fraction of the same compassion she showed so relentlessly to him. Yet, he was rendered speechless.

Instead, he took an audible breath as one of his arms listlessly slipped around the small of her back, just secure enough to hold her there. An act so strange to him, that for the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt unsure of himself.

The rest of him did not move as his gaze remained hardened over her shoulder; focusing instead on her even breaths at the side of his neck and her steady heart beating just over his sternum.

There was no denying what he felt when she was like this. The allure of the Petrovas had always been a weak point of his, but this was something else entirely. This shattered his uncertainties to pieces. This was real.

She leaned back without breaking the hold, just enough to see his face, and waited patiently for him to look down at her.

When his head finally tilted, his eyes were lost when they met hers, bottomless – and they only deepened with her hushed words.

"Thank you."

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