A/N: This is the last chapter of this fic. It's exciting to have it come to this point. I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more with it. Sadly, it was a mere plot bunny and I've said what I needed to say. So, thus, 'tis farewell for now.

Disclaimer: I do not own GX.

Chapter 10: Loss

The sunlight trickled between the branches of the large oak tree. It shone brightly, so much so, it was almost white. Alexis quickly adverted her eyes and fixated them on the plush grass. She ran her hand over it, feeling the blades prickling her tender skin. The sensation should have been old, yet it felt so new. She felt reborn again.

Perhaps she was taking notice to all the details in life now that she'd experienced slavery at the most heightened state. Never before had the air tasted so fresh in her lungs. Never before had the sky seemed so clear, the sea so blue. She felt free yet, at the same time, a severe sense of loss.

Yes, it was true that Jaden had made his way back. They had discovered him at the pinnacle of the volcano the next day, passed out from exhaustion. Who knew how he'd gotten back, and why he had been at the volcano. All that mattered was that he was safely resting in his dorm room.

Her smile faded as she fingered a pink blossom. Sartorius had not left her mind for the weeks that had followed her release from the Society. However, it seemed as though there was no way to tell him how she felt about him. How awkward things already were between them! How much more so, would it be, if she were to tell him how much she cared for him. If she were to tell him just how much she loved him.

As she was in the middle of her thoughts, she heard approaching footsteps. Feeling slightly irritated, she refused to look up at her visitor. Nothing could tear her from her bond with nature as of that moment. However, it seemed as though her visitor had other ideas.

She saw a pair of brown shoes and black pants crouching down by her. Immediately, her face turned red. He was the last person she wanted to talk to at the moment. Her shame and her humiliation was far too great. Even now, her mistakes in the Society haunted her. She wanted to take them all back and be bathed clean and pure again. Even as she closed her eyes, she could almost feel her sins taunting her, telling her she could not forget nor change anything. How she longed to regain her innocence!

"Alexis," Chazz whispered, lying on his stomach on the grass and tilting his head to look at her face, "Hello, I'm talking to you."

She glanced over, her mouth pursing in disapproval. "I'm busy right now."

"How much longer are you going to avoid everyone? Come on. You have to talk to us sometime. We're your friends. Besides, I have something important to tell you."

"And what would be so important as to invade my privacy?" She queried, looking more and more irritable as the moments passed, "I do not wish to speak with you."

He grasped her around the waist and pinned her against him, "It's not healthy for you to sulk and mope around all alone. At least do it with someone else."

She gave a short, scoffing laugh, "Why must you always make a nuisance of yourself? Especially when all I want is to be alone?! It's almost as though you sense when I need my solitude the most and then you come running over here to--"

His eyes softened, a look of sympathy forming on his face, "Lex….Sartorius is leaving Duel Academy now. He's not coming back…ever."

A short gasp caught in her throat. Tears misted over her golden eyes against her will. "Leaving? For good?"

Chazz nodded in affirmation. "Why don't you at least tell him goodbye? I know he doesn't exactly hold the most pleasant of memories…but…his departure at least deserves to be acknowledged. Particularly after all the things you've endured and suffered together."

Hand on throat, she nodded slowly. Then, she rose to her feet, grasping his hand and pulling him with her. "All right. We'll tell him goodbye."

"Maybe that's not all you should tell him," Chazz suggested a bit meekly, "We all know why you've been hiding. It's all because of what you're hiding."

Her face turned scarlet. However, she made no attempt to deny his words. Instead, she chose to ignore him and keep walking towards the dock. He, as well, fell into silence and walked alongside her. Neither really knew what more to say anyway. It wasn't that they didn't have things to talk about; rather, they just didn't know how to speak with the other anymore.

She stepped onto the concrete of the dock and stared at the yacht before her. Instantly, a certain sick nervousness sank into the pit of her stomach. Nauseated, she made her way carefully and quietly towards the boat. Her fingers crossed, she prayed he would not be there. The last thing she wanted to do was face her fears.

"It's now or never," Chazz whispered in her ear, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to prickle. How terribly true it was. What she said and did now would have a huge impact on her future; ironically, on her fate. How she wished to never hear, think, or speak that word again!

She dared not to step onto the boat. Instead, she waited for him to appear to retrieve his packed boxes that were lying on the dock. It took several long minutes--perhaps even the longest she'd ever experienced in her life--however, he eventually came up onto the deck.

The moment she saw him, she noticed how much healthier he looked. His amethyst eyes had regained their natural glow; his cheeks were no longer sunken in. His complexion seemed remarkably brighter, having lost the sickly paste color that it had been before. Feeling her heart thump harder as their eyes locked, she stepped forward.

"Sartorius," She spoke his name cautiously, in a mere whisper. The moment it left her mouth, she was rendered speechless. It felt as though she had not seen him in a thousand years.

Slowly, he stepped off the boat and onto the dock. He looked from her to Chazz for a moment, then spoke. "I'm glad you came. I wanted to offer my sincerest apologies for--"

"It's all right," Alexis interrupted, her cheeks reddening, "We understand that it wasn't your fault. Please, there's no need to apologize again. That's all you have been doing since you have returned to normal."

"Well, there's no way I can ever apologize enough," Sartorius murmured, his eyes dropping to the ground, "I put you and Chazz through so much…but especially you…"

Alexis stepped closer, her face burning, and blurted, "It's all right. I'm almost glad it happened…I mean…" She paused and sighed heavily, embarrassed, "It made me realize things that I would never have before. And although it had to come about in the most unfortunate of circumstances…it wouldn't have happened any other way."

"What do you mean?" Sartorius asked, puzzled.

Alexis squeezed her eyes shut, ready to plunge into her confession. Thrusting her arms around his waist, she clung with all her might, tears beginning to stream down her face. "Sartorius!" She cried his name out, as though she were dying, "Sartorius! Please don't leave! I need you!!" Burying her face in his chest, she began to cry softly, "Please don't go…I love you. I can't live without you."

He was taken aback by her sudden display of affection and misery. Hesitantly, he laid a hand on the back of her head and began to stroke her hair. His eyes drooped, his expression grew sorrowful. "Dear child, I cannot stay here. I must leave soon."

"But, Sartorius," She sniffed, looking up at him with sad amber eyes, "I love you. Don't you understand that?"

"You're referring to a different side of me, one that ceased to exist. I cannot accept your affections. I'm sorry." He began to push her away.

Feeling as though her heart were being ripped from her chest, she clung with all her might. "No, no, no! I love you. Not your other side. I always sensed that in you, and I fell in love with the gentle, kind-hearted man you are today. I knew you were in there. Why else do you think I tried to leave the Society? I didn't want to at first but…it was necessary. It was for your sake and mine. Please don't think I was abandoning you. Please, you can't forget all we've done!"

He winced a bit at this. "Alexis, I understand. I know that you did what you had to do. I forgive you for it completely. And as much as I did love you, I certainly can't put you through any more torture. I can't hurt you again. It would kill me to see you in numbed agony…No, we cannot forget what we've done, but we can use it as a lesson as we delve into the future. I will never be free of spirits invading my mind; therefore, I am unfit and unsuitable for you or anyone else. Now if you would please excuse me, I must be on my way."

"No, NO! I can't let you do this to yourself…" Alexis nestled her head under his chin, trembling a bit, "Please don't give up on yourself or us. Please just give me another chance…give yourself another chance!"

"Let me go, Alexis. I have chosen this. I don't want to hurt you, but I can't be with you." He insisted.

"But if we just tried to work things out, maybe we could--" She began, her chin quivering.

"Please…" Sartorius pushed her arms away, grabbing her hands as she clawed at him desperately, "I don't want to be with you. Now go." He turned his back on her, beginning to walk away.

"No!" Alexis shouted, then, crumpled to her knees in grief.

Chazz knelt by her, placing his jacket around her heaving shoulders and trying to comfort her. She was too injured to push him away. Instead, she gave in to his affection and leaned against his shoulder, sobbing as quietly and discreetly as possible. How she hated to lose her dignity in such a humbling manner.

"It's all right," Chazz assured her in a soothing tone, "It's going to be all right. I know it feels like you're going to absolutely die but…you're not. You're going to live. Trust me. I'm still here. The Chazz is going to take good care of you."

"Oh, shut up," She hissed bitterly, wiping her tears angrily away, "Can't you see? I've just been rejected…it hurts. Why did he turn me away? When before he was so set on winning me over? I don't understand….why can't we be together? It was probably just the Light…he was just using me."

Chazz sighed heavily and embraced her tightly, placing his chin on top of her head. "No, he wasn't. He's trying to protect you by pushing you away."

"But…I'll never see him again," She whispered, looking sadder than before, "What am I supposed to do now?"

"I'll take you in," Chazz offered, trying not to look hopeful.

In response, she gave him a small kiss on the lips. "You're sweet, and I give you some credit for treating me so nicely, especially after watching me go after another man. However…I just don't love you. I can't bring myself to try to live with you."

"Then why the kiss?" He asked in confusion.

"Because you deserve it," She murmured, pulling his jacket closer around her, "You've helped me out through the lowest of my moments without even giving a thought to yourself."

"Actually--" He began.

"Don't spoil it, please," She interrupted, squeezing her eyes shut. "I just wish…life didn't have to be so complicated. Nothing ever works out."

He said nothing in response to this. At first, it puzzled her. But then, she looked up and saw that the yacht was leaving. Immediately, she tore away from Chazz and ran before he could stop her. She tried to keep up with it for as long as the shoreline would allow, crying silently to herself and hoping that Sartorius would change his mind. As the boat disappeared over the horizon, she caught a glimpse of his face staring after her. There were tears dripping like precious diamonds from his eyes.

The darkness of the room enveloped her like a blanket, shielding her from the world. Even though a piece of the world had entered her room, manifested through Chazz, she did not care. He was the only part of the world that she could bear to have near her at the moment. And he was quite near to her at that.

As much as she'd told herself it was all a mistake and she'd never do such a thing again, she had out of grief and heartbreak. Chazz was lying naked beside her, his arms wrapped snugly around her waist. Yet he was not the one she wanted to be with. She did not want to be beholded in such an intimate and innocent manner by him. She would rather give up the world than live another second, breathe another breath without the man she truly loved. However, there was no going back. He was not going to return to her, either.

The urge to end it all entered her broken spirit once more. She rolled over to face Chazz and curled up against him in a ball, almost as an animal might. She trembled vigorously, feeling as though she might as well return to the earth as she was born, and never see the light of day again.

Truth be told, light rather frightened her now. She would much prefer spending her time out at night, when the world was absent of any sort of light. Neither would she allow for any speck of white in her room. The only exception was in her uniform. Nothing more was to be white at all.

Chazz buried his mouth in the side of her head, kissing it passionately. She squeezed her eyes shut and let his mouth caress her temple. Rolling over on her back, she stared up at the ceiling, her eyes misted over and lost. Her golden hair spread in a fan around her, slightly disheveled. The sheets draped over her full breasts, just above the nipple. Sighing, she closed her eyes and listened the sound of the bed sheets rustle as Chazz cuddled up against her again.

She gritted her teeth a moment, then gave a dry laugh, "I'm so fickle…one moment I'm moping over him, the next I'm in bed with you. I could almost be mistaken for a sadist…"

"I don't hold it against you," Chazz muttered, his breath tickling her ear, "I understand. And I'm going to give you any amount of comfort that you need."

"Of course you will," Alexis sighed, "Because you're enjoying this more than you should."

She felt Chazz withdraw a bit. "That's mean…" He whined, "I don't want to hurt you…"

"I know," She groaned, covering her face with her hands, "My, what have I done?" She laughed a bit again, though it wasn't in the least funny, "I always have to go and ruin things even more than they already have been. It's not like me to be so impulsive. I'm such a fool! Especially for trusting the likes of you. You're going to go around the whole school telling your story to the boys, aren't you?"

He shook his head. "No, this is just between us. No one will have to know…"

She slung her arm over her forehead, tears dripping from the corners of her eyes. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a shuddering sigh, she murmured, "What I wouldn't give to have him back in my arms…what I wouldn't give…"

Chazz grimaced. "I hate to see you in so much pain…"

She rolled over on her side, propping her cheek with her hand, "I hate to be talking about him while in bed with you. I'm really sorry," She looked sheepish, "I'm putting you through a lot, too. I'm being so inconsiderate. You really must be hurting a lot right now."

He closed his eyes, his eyebrows knitting together in sadness and sympathy. Shrugging, he told her, "Hey, whatever makes you feel better. I'm your friend. I'm obliged to help."

"And I feel like I'm taking advantage of you," She muttered, hugging him as she reclined once more, "I'm really sorry."

He smirked a bit, giving a small laugh, "I felt like I was using you. Look, can we just not think about this too much? It's more or less a mutualistic relationship. It's all right." He rubbed her back gently, trying to soothe her fears.

Suddenly, she sat up straight, fear coming to her eyes. He sat up as well, a bit uneasy.

"What is it?"

She raised a finger to her lips and gripped his wrist tightly, signaling for him to be still. They sat in silence for a moment, listening. All that could be heard was the sound of their stifled breathing. After another moment, there was a small tap on the door.

Quickly, she pulled her robe around her and shoved Chazz under the bed. He was less than pleased with the arrangement, however, complied without question or complaint. When she answered the door, what she found shocked her. A note was lying on the floor, along with a heart-shaped pendant.

"Dearest Alexis,

I wasn't sure how exactly to take back what I'd said before, but now that I'm sure of how I feel and about my mental stability, I can safely say this. I want to take you as my wife. If you would take the ferry waiting for you early tomorrow morning and then take the earliest flight to London, I shall meet you at the airport by five o' clock in the afternoon. I will wait for you as long as it takes for you to arrive.

Love,

Sartorius"

She bent down and picked the pendant up, then clasped it around her neck. Remorse filled her over her rash actions. However, she pushed them away. She knew he'd understand. And she hadn't meant anything wrong by them.

Closing the door softly, she motioned for Chazz to come out from his hiding place. Eagerly, she showed him the letter. Although she'd expected for him to be hurt, he seemed quite the opposite.

As he hugged her and kissed her all over her face, he told her, "You got what you wanted. Just please don't forget about me…"

"I won't. I promise," She told him, kissing him on the cheek, "Thank you, Chazz…thank you for everything you've ever done for me. The woman you marry will be a very lucky woman."

He smiled sadly at her. "Too bad it won't be you." His hand lingered on her cheek for a moment, then dropped, "But if you're happy…then I won't object."

She nodded excitedly and rose from her seat to begin packing. While things had seemed to take an unexpectedly bad turn, maybe they weren't so bad after all. Sartorius was well now, and he had changed his mind about her. And to think, she was to be his wife soon! The very thought filled her with glee. It didn't matter to her that their relationship had started out in all the wrong ways, it had ended well, and that suited her. Perhaps fate really did play a part in her life. After all, why else would it have ended so wonderfully? Maybe she would never know. But she didn't have to question that it did, indeed, exist after all.

THE END

A/N: I hope that wasn't too bad. -.-;; I worked hard on this chapter, but it was still a kinda crappy chapter anyway. Last chapters are always hard to do. Wrapping the story up isn't exactly easy. Oh well, hope you enjoyed it anyway!