"Alright," Boromir said, while crunching on a corn dog. [Faramir had told him repeatedly that corn dogs were not breakfast food, but Boromir had waved it off and said, "It's all in the plan, 'lil bro; who's the king, here?" …meaning he simply wanted it and didn't have an excuse to eat it.]
"I figure, including today, we have four days left to cause–"
"Mass destruction," Faramir groaned with his head in his hands.
"–Joy and happiness to the fine people of Gondor."
"Admit it, Boromir: it's mass destruction."
"Is not! For instance: look at what I have planned for tonight!" He rolled out a giant, hand-drawn map on the dining room table. "Look! See, what I did, was hire a-"
"Boromir," Faramir said slowly, hoping he wasn't understanding what he was seeing. "Why did you draw a map of a carnival?"
Boromir grinned. "Alright. So, as we know from our little spy mission this morning, people are worried that Popsy will be mad about the walls, right?"
"Which he will be."
"Well, yeah, he will be. But we have to lift their spirits a little! So we, little brother, are hosting…" He passed for dramatic effect. "A…carnival! With an attached circus!"
Faramir was at a loss for words.
"Well?" Boromir asked. "What do you think? The people will love it, right?"
"Boromir, Father will be furious if you host a carnival-"
"-With attached circus!-"
"-While he's gone. Think about it: you already racked up the bill with the lawn furniture [which doesn't do us much good as it is, because if you haven't noticed, our lawn is small enough for the servants to cut it with scissors], then you bought the spray paint from the black market – how much did you have to pay them, by the way, to stay quiet?"
"Erm," Boromir looked slightly uncomfortable. "I'd rather not say."
"Exactly. And now a carnival?"
"With attached-"
"Circus! Yes, I know, Boromir!" Faramir took some deep breaths to calm himself.
"Well, he won't be that angry…with me at least," Boromir muttered under his breath.
"See, that's just it! I'll get blamed for this! And you…he'll just let you off the hook like you had nothing to do with it!"
"That's because, dear brother mine, I didn't have anything to do with it."
Faramir knew something fishy was up. "What do you mean, you 'didn't have anything to do with it'? You ordered the lawn furniture-"
"-Which I made sure you picked the color for-"
"-You bought the spray paint-"
"-Under your name-"
"-You spray-painted the walls-"
"-But you painted most of them-"
"-And you put Kool-Aid in the diamond showerheads!"
"But not according to father!" Boromir argued.
Faramir was beyond frustration. "What do you mean?"
"By the time I get through telling the story, Pops will have blamed this whole thing on you."
Faramir took that moment to do some deep-breathing exercises.
Boromir patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Faramir; I'll make sure he doesn't give you cranberry juice when he sticks you in the closet."