Author's Note: Warning: This chapter has a reference to the French taunting scene from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" throughout. Oh, and some of the "Beauty and the Beast" characters make an appearance, too!
Also, sorry I haven't updated in a while; school's been keeping me busy. But, since it's Labor Day weekend, I can finally upload this thing. YAY!
*ahem* Now, on to the chapter. Enjoy ^_^
Chapter 9: Disney Taunting
A few days later, Roderich and the others left Warnerstock to continue on their search for the Grail...but not without Yakko, Wakko, and Dot! The royal siblings had already gotten their parents' permission to go on the quest with the group, so poor Roderich was stuck bringing them along.
"Why?" Roderich said in an annoyed tone. "First, I get stuck on this stupid quest with my annoying baby cousins, and now I have to be stuck with you three."
"Geez, you're pretty rude today, Roddykins," said Wakko.
"Don't call me that, Beatle talker!" said Roderich.
"Hey, I can't help it if I sound like one of the Beatles," Wakko said, and pouted.
"What's wrong with the way our brother talks?" asked Yakko.
"Yeah," said Dot.
"He sounds weird," said Roderich.
"Wakko's right, Roddykins," said Arthur. "You're being bloody rude right now."
"Yeah, Roddykins," Vash, Gilbert, and Ludwig said at the same time, mocking Roderich.
"Alright, that's it!" Roderich said, and stopped the car. "If anyone else-except for Elizabeta-calls me Roddykins, I swear to God I will throw that person out of this car, and we will continue this quest without you. Got it?"
"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes," said Alfred, Matthew (while hugging Kumajiro), Yao, Kiku, Katyusha (who looked like she was about to cry), Ivan, Natalia (clinging tightly to Ivan), Feliks, Toris, Lovino, and Feliciano (who looked like he was about to cry, too).
"Don't even think about it, Roderich Edelstein!" said God, who suddenly appeared in the sky.
"Shut up, God, you bastard," said Roderich.
"Don't you call me that, you jackass aristocrat!" God bellowed at Roderich.
"I'm not a fucking aristocrat, you ugly cloud man!" Roderich snapped back.
"Very mature, Roderich," Vash said sarcastically while rolling his eyes.
"Shut the hell up, Vash," said Roderich.
"Roddy, quit being rude to God," Gilbert said.
"Gee, God's sure angry today, isn't he, guys?" Yakko said to his brother and sister.
"Yeah," said Wakko.
"You know, I'm not having this conversation anymore," said God. He turned to go back into the clouds, and then stopped. He then turned around and stuck his middle finger at Roderich. Then God disappeared once again into the clouds.
"That sky bastard!" Roderich said angrily. "I'll strangle him!"
"How are you gonna do that?" asked Alfred.
"Yeah," said Feliks. "God's, like, up there in the sky, and you're totally down here on Earth."
"Shut up," said Roderich as he kept on driving.
Hours later, the group came upon a castle.
"Roddykins, why don't we stop here for the night?" said Elizabeta.
"I think we can keep on going," said Roderich. He didn't want to stop anyplace for a while because of what had happened with his cousins and Bison.
"But Roddy," Ludwig said in a scared voice while holding his teddy bear close, "it's getting dark. The dark's scary." The younger boy's eyes got bigger (and cuter) as he said this.
"Okay, Lui, we'll stop here," Roderich said, sensing his youngest cousin's discomfort. The teen stopped the car, and he and the others got out. "Hello!" Roderich called out to anyone in the castle. No answer. "Hello!" he called again.
After Roderich's second attempt at getting someone to talk to him, a round, chubby man dressed in old-fashioned clothing and sporting a mustache came out onto the balcony; his name was Cogsworth. "'Allo! Who is zis?" Cogsworth said.
"I'm Roderich Edelstein of Hetalia Falls, in Suujiku, and these are my cousins, Gilbert and Ludwig Beilschmidt, and our friends," said Roderich. "Whose castle is this?"
"This is the castle of our master, Prince Etienne, and our mistress, Princess Belle," said Cogsworth.
"If you please, go and tell your master and mistress that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest," said Roderich. This caused the old-fashioned-looking man to look at the 18-year-old in surprise. Roderich continued, "If they will give us food and shelter for the night, they can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail."
Cogsworth thought for a minute before speaking. "Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen..." the man said."Uh, he's already got one, you see?"
"What?" asked Roderich.
"He says they've already got one!" said Francis.
"Are you sure he's got one?" Roderich asked Cogsworth.
"Oh, yes, it's very nice," said Cogsworth. He then turned to some other servants and said, "I told them we've already got one." The servants, except for a slender, ponytail-wearing man named Lumiere (who just rolled his eyes), laughed.
"Oh, Cogsworth, have a heart," Lumiere said.
"I think he's lying," Wakko said.
"No, I think he's telling the truth," said Antonio.
"I think the both of you are bloody idiots," said Arthur.
"Hey, Roddykins, why don't you ask him to let us see it?" Elizabeta whispered to her boyfriend.
"Okay," said Roderich. He then said to Cogsworth, "Well, um, can we come up and have a look?"
"Of course not!" said Cogsworth. "You are Suujiku and Warnerstock types-a!" He had obviously recognized the Warner siblings as people from Warnerstock.
"Well, what are you then?" said Vash.
"I'm Disney!" said Cogsworth. "Why do you think I'm wearing these outrageous clothes, you silly garçon?"
"What are you doing just outside of Warnerstock?" said Dot.
"Mind your own business!" said Cogsworth.
"If you will not show us the Grail, then we shall take your castle by force!" said Arthur.
"You don't frighten us, Suujiku pig-dogs!" said Cogsworth. "Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Roderich-aristocrat, you and all your silly Suujiku kaniggets." He then drummed his head several times and spit at the travelers.
"What a strange person," said Kiku.
"Now, look here, my good man, aru!" Yao shouted.
"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough whopper!" said Cogsworth. "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of eldeberries."
"That's not very nice, aru," said Yao.
"Don't you talk about my parents like that!" Roderich said angrily.
"Is there someone else up there we could talk to?" asked Katyusha.
"No," said Cogsworth. "Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!"
"Cogsworth, come on, be mature, mon ami," said Lumiere.
"Fermez la bouche, candleman," Cogsworth said to the man with the ponytail.
"Now this is your last chance," said Roderich. "I've been more than reasonable."
"Fetchez la vache," Cogsworth said to the other servants.
"What?" said a little blond-haired boy named Chip.
"Fetchez la vache," Cogsworth said again.
"Oh, okay," Chip said happily, and ran off. He and two other servants then came back out with a cow.
"Oh mon Dieu," said an annoyed Lumiere.
"If you do not agree to our commands, then we shall-" Vash started to say, but was interrupted when...
Twong! The cow mooed as it was hurled off the balcony of the castle.
"Jesus Christ!" said Vash. He then got out his gun.
Seeing this, Gilbert got out a wooden sword that he would play with a lot. "Right!" the 10-year-old said. "Charge!"
Everyone (except for Feliciano, Lovino, Matthew, and Katyusha) charged at the castle and attempted to fight the servants inside. But the fighting proved pointless when Cogsworth and the other servants threw other animals and stuff at them.
"Ah, this one is for your mother," one of the other servants said as he hurled something else over the balcony.
"Run away!" said Roderich.
Chip spat at the retreating group.
"Fiends!" Vash yelled.
"I'll tear them apart!" said Elizabeta, getting out another frying pan.
"No, no, no, don't, Lizzie," Roderich said, and stopped his girlfriend from attacking.
"Roddy," said Feliks. "I totally have a plan, dude."
Later, the sounds of various squeaks, rumbles, and chopping could be heard from the castle. The servants looked in various directions to see where the noises were coming from. These were the sounds of Roderich and the others hard at work on something.
After the noises subsided, the servants went about their business in the castle. Just as they went inside, Roderich and the others were seen pushing a gigantic, wooden rabbit up the hill. They placed it at the door, knocked on it, and ran to hide. Once they were hidden, they saw the servants come out and look curiously at the rabbit.
"Ce labon a bunny do," said one of the servants.
"Wha?" said Lumiere.
"Un cadeau?" said a young woman with short, blond hair. Her name was Angelique.
"A present!" Chip said excitedly. "Look, Mama, a present!" he said to another woman who was a little older than Angelique.
"Oh, un cadeau," said the older woman. Her name was Mrs. Potts, and she was Chip's mother.
"Oui, oui, hurry!" said Cogsworth as he and Lumiere got ready to bring the rabbit inside.
"Wha-?" said another servant.
"Let's go!" said Lumiere. He and the other servants brought the rabbit inside the castle and closed the door.
Outside, in the bushes, the group of grail seekers was waiting.
"What happens now, Feliks?" Roderich asked the Polish boy.
"Like, well, now, uh..." Feliks said, trying his best to explain the plan to Roderich. "Liet, Al, and I, like, wait till it gets dark and then leap out of the rabbit, totally taking the Disney people by surprise-like, not only surprise, but totally unarmed, too! Cool, huh, dude?"
"Who leaps out?" Roderich asked.
"Uh, Feliks..." Toris said, looking at his best friend.
"Uh, Liet, Al, and I," Feliks began again, slowly realizing that he had made a serious mistake. "Like, uh...leap out of the rabbit, uh...and uh..."
"Oh..." Roderich said, also gradually realizing Feliks' mistake.
"Oh..." said Feliks. "Um, l-look, if we, like, built this large wooden badger-" But Feliks didn't get a chance to finish what he was saying when...twong!…the wooden rabbit was launched from the castle and in their direction.
"Yaaaahhhhhh!" shouted Feliciano.
"Run away!" the rest of the group said. "Run away! Retreat!"
"A hero never retreats!" said Alfred.
"Come on, Al!" said Arthur as he grabbed his little brother and pulled him along.
The rabbit then landed splat! on the ground, but, luckily, didn't land on anyone in the group.
"Oh, haw, haw, haw!" Cogsworth laughed as he watched the Grail-seeking group retreating.
Author's Note: I gave the prince the name Etienne because 1) I don't know his real name, and 2) It sounded like a good name, and it was the first name that came into my head at the time.
Also:
garçon- boy (French)
Fermez la bouche- Shut up (French)
Fetchez la vache- Fetch the cow (French)
Ce labon a bunny do- I'm not sure what this means; it's probably just gibberish.
Un cadeau- A present (French)
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