Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Songs used are Degausser by Brand new and Waiting by City and Colour.

Chapter 10: Resolve

Well take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
 I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in
When we were made we were set apart
Life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming, the storm is coming in

Leah and I fell asleep on the couch that night. Despite her long limbs and the heat of her body, it was surprisingly comfortable, but that could have been because she didn't spend the whole night there. Some time around the early hours, my sleep-addled mind registered that she got up and slipped outside. I didn't hear anything after that, and fell asleep before she came back. I had a feeling she'd gone to chew Embry out for ignoring her orders, even though I was pretty sure their ranking in the Pack was somewhat similar. I don't think ranks applied much to Leah, anyway.

The sun streaming through the living room window woke me around midday. I had a blanket draped over my body and the TV was off, telling me Charlie had come home. His uniform jacket was hanging on the stairs, and his boots were strewn at the bottom, just like they always were when he came home after a night shift. He was usually too tired to even turn off the lights, but when I got to the kitchen, he'd placed Leah's and my popcorn bowls in the sink and the glasses were drying beside the draining board. Charlie was finally getting domesticated. I smiled to myself at the thought.

The shower clicked off upstairs, followed by tiptoeing footsteps a few minutes later. I started on breakfast – well, it was more like lunch now, knowing that I hadn't been here when he left for work yesterday, so there was little chance he'd had a proper, home-cooked meal in the past twenty-four hours. I wasn't prepared for how the sight of him, dressed in worn jeans and a Forks PD shirt made me feel, and my eyes welled up with tears. He retrieved the paper from the porch, while I stood stock still in the kitchen, a spatula frozen mid-air and a dish towel in my hand, He was already reading the sports pages by the time he ambled towards me, opening the fridge absent-mindedly with one hand and pulling out a carton of juice.

"Morning, Bells," he said, picking up a freshly washed glass from the draining board and filling it with orange concentrate. I opened my mouth to speak, and then nothing came out, he looked up curiously from the paper. His frown relaxed into a look of surprise, and his morning read and juice were promptly discarded on the table as he took a step towards me.

"What is it, sweetie? Is everything okay?" he asked warily gently reaching out to take hold of my upper-arm. I realised then that I had to be scaring the hell out of him, and had no way of explaining my behaviour. I snapped out of my mini-breakdown, and smiled.

"Yeah, Dad... I'm just- I didn't think you'd be awake yet. Want some pancakes?" I stammered, hoping like hell his naturally suspicious mind wouldn't figure out that I was having some sort of episode. Yesterday, I'd cried over my father's lifeless body, and right now I was offering him pancakes. I could hardly believe how lucky I was.

He stared into me curiously for a beat, before something in my expression told him not to push it. I could tell this was the least sarcastic and snappy I'd been with him in months – I guess a part of him didn't want to rock the boat. He shrugged and picked up the paper again. "Sure, sweetie," he said.

I couldn't stand it any more. Once he sat down at the table, I crouched beside him and looped my arms around his neck, pressing my face into his back and revelling in his warmth and the scent of soap and out-of-style cologne. Charlie was alive. I couldn't find a fibre in my being that could regret what I'd done, no matter how much pain it had caused me.

Breakfast was filled with small-talk, and for the first time, I found myself actually interested in what Charlie was doing with his day. He didn't have to work, and was anticipating the Mariners game on TV that night.

"Do you have plans today, Bells?" he asked between bites. I fought the urge to snort – I was pretty sure those who were talking to me didn't have much of a desire to spend much more time with me, and I certainly wasn't planning to see much more of Mike.

"No, Dad, I just thought I'd hang out here... maybe clean out my closet a little, give some stuff away," I informed. He got an uncomfortable look on his face then, and I raised a curious eyebrow. "Is that alright?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, Bells. Of course it is, it's just-" he paused then, clearly trying to word whatever he was going to say so as to cause the least reaction out of me. "Billy was supposed to be coming over tonight to watch the game... and what with whatever happened between you and Jake, I didn't think you'd want to be around when he got dropped off." He sighed then, and I got the feeling he was relieved he'd got the whole sentence out without an objection from me.

I felt a wave of guilt that my Dad had been rearranging his time with his best friend to suit my moods. I'd clearly been a nightmare to live with lately. No more. I plastered on the most convincing smile I could, and shrugged. "It's fine, Dad, Jacob and I have to live in practically the same town. I'm not going to be able to avoid him forever."

Charlie looked suspicious as he reached for his glass. "Did something happen last night, Bells?" he asked hesitantly. I avoided his gaze, hating that I had yet another secret to keep from him.

"Kind of... I guess I realised that I'm making things harder on myself than they need to be. It's about time I owned up to my behaviour and stopped acting like the world's out to get me."

He studied me for a long moment, before giving me a proud smile and ruffling my hair. "I knew my girl was in there somewhere," he said.

New-found strength aside, I still carefully scheduled a trip to the grocery store to coincide with Billy's arrival. I may have been ready to stop acting like a spoiled child around my father, but that didn't mean I had any desire to see Jacob yet. The hurt was still too palpable, and the major worry I had was that Melanie would be with him. Seeing Jake was painful enough without having to watch both of them together.

I picked up my keys and wallet, giving Charlie the excuse of picking up some food and snacks for his and Billy's 'boys night', and made my way out the door. I scanned the tree line, wondering who had drawn the short straw today. A shock of silver fur moved into view and I rolled my eyes. Of course. Paul. I was glad he couldn't speak in wolf-form; something told me that he'd be less than tolerant of me and the sense of duty that kept them patrolling my back-yard. He continued to trot towards me when I shot a panicked glance back to the house.

"Charlie's not blind, you know," I hissed, knowing he could hear me from 100 feet away. "Stay in the forest unless you want to test the effects of bullets on oversized wolves."

A static charge cut through the air then, and I averted my eyes automatically when the silver wolf was replaced by a very smug-looking, extremely naked, Paul Lahote.

"It's not the only thing about me that's oversized," he said proudly, raising an eyebrow. He wasn't lying. I hated the fact that I now knew that for sure. "I'll stay human if you're that worried about me, Princess." He made no effort to hide his nudity and I held a hand over my eyes in a mixture of shock and shame.

"Oh god... put some clothes on, for Christ sake!" I hissed, pretty sure the blush tinting my cheeks could heat up the whole house for winter. He laughed darkly and moved behind a small branch. It still wasn't enough to cover him.

"What's this I hear about you and Leah becoming BFFs?" he said, and I could hear movement that I guessed was the sound of him folding his arms. I was still studying my sneakers and shrugged non-committally.

"I don't get why it's such big news. Us scorned women need to stick together. Talk trash about our past conquests, put curses on their delicate parts. The usual." I had no idea how I was able to carry on the conversation – I could still see the image of his uncovered crotch in my head. It was going to haunt my dreams, I could tell.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "What exactly did she say?" he said. I detected nerves on his voice for the first time since I'd known him. It was an unfamiliar concept; Paul didn't care what anybody thought of him – his very nude presence at that moment was proof.

Just then, the front door opened and Charlie appeared looking concerned.

"Who were you talking to, Bells?" he asked, looking around warily. "I thought maybe Billy had got here early." I didn't miss the subtext of that statement: I thought you were stuck out here having to face Jacob, and we'd be back to square one.

"Uh... just Angela, Dad. Cell phone," I said, fishing it out of my pocket and waving it in the air. I was pretty sure it was dead – I'd only had it a couple of weeks and forgot I owned it most of the time. Charlie looked relieved as he moved to retreat into the house.

"Oh, alright. I'll see you when you get back," he said hesitantly. I was pretty sure he'd heard Paul's voice out here too, but saw no evidence of anyone with me. When I looked back to the space in the trees he'd previously occupied, he was gone.

"I'm going to get you for that," I hissed, searching the tree line for any sign of him. I could see nothing, but just before I slammed the door of my truck, I heard something that sounded suspiciously like wolfish laughter.

I took my time at the grocery store, making a ritual out of working through the short list I had and greeting anyone I even vaguely knew. I didn't know if it would be ample time for Jacob to drop Billy off and leave, but I thought the longer I left it, the less chance there was of an overlap.

The thing I wasn't prepared for, though, was the fact that Jacob had some shopping to do of his own. I rounded the corner into the cereal aisle, just in time to see him load two family-sized boxes of Captain Crunch into the cart. He had an open bag of cookies, half-eaten in his hand, and was cramming them two-at-a-time into his mouth. My steps froze instantly. It was such a familiar sight, and brought back so many memories that it stilled my heart right in my chest.

He had his back to me, and I knew from his relaxed posture that he hadn't picked up my scent yet. I still had a chance to get out of there unscathed if I wanted to.

It was not to be, though. As I turned to leave, I bumped right into Angela's mom, arms full of baking supplies.

"Bella! Sweetie, just who I wanted to see!" she said, and I cringed visibly as I caught Jacob's shoulders tense up in my peripheral vision. He turned his head to the side, bunching the cookie wrapper up in his hand as he listened in.

"Hey, Dana," I said, trying to sound happy but cursing her very soul to Hell. Why? Why now, and why here?! "I'm not being roped into more babysitting, I hope" I joked, for the first time that day regretfully aware that I was wearing sweatpants and had my hair piled on top of my head in some sort of birds-nest-meets-cactus arrangement. Dana laughed lightly, shaking her head.

"Oh, Heavens, no. Angela tells me you're somewhat of a baker, and I was wondering if you'd be willing to lend a hand to the church bake sale! It's not for another week, but we could use all the help we can get, and it's for a good cause," she said, encouraging me with her eyes. I was barely listening to what she was asking and found myself agreeing with an enthusiasm I didn't feel. She hugged me briefly, promising to have Angela send on the details and went on with her shopping.

It would have been too much to ask for Jacob to have moved on, but no. When I turned back, he was still standing by the half-filled cart, facing me and leaning one hand on it. I didn't know why he looked like he needed the balance. It was my legs that were losing strength by the second. He nodded slightly in greeting, and I sighed. Maybe it would be best to get this over with.

"Hi, Jacob," I said, not quite slowing down to talk, but still lingering enough so as not to seem rude. I cursed his super hearing, having no doubt he could detect the sound of my heart stuttering in my chest. Obliquely, I wondered what sound it made when it broke.

He looked good. Not just as good as ever, but better. He was dressed in low-slung jeans and a slate grey shirt, his sneakers were new and his hair had that messy, sexy, out-of-bed look. I berated myself again for not at least combing mine before I left the house. I probably looked like a homeless person asking him for money.

"Bella," he said evenly. "Just left my dad off at your house."

I nodded, wondering when the hell Jacob Black had become so inept at beginning a conversation. The distance between us stretched, and again I blamed myself for causing this. I couldn't find any regret in me, though. I'd sat down and had breakfast with my father this morning. Charlie was alive, and nothing was worth changing that.

"Yeah, I'm just out getting some snacks for them. Seems like it's gonna be a long one," I said detachedly. His face contorted in what looked like a forced smile, but I couldn't be sure.

"Yeah, stay way from the Twinkies though, alright? Dad's-"

"Diabetic, yeah, I remember. Haven't lost my memory, Jacob. Just most of my dignity," I bit out.

The desire to let my inner sarcastic bitch loose rose with every second in his presence, and I couldn't help the sickening wave of satisfaction that came from the admonished look on his face. His jaw clenched, and he shook his head, rolling his eyes and turning away.

"Of course. How could anyone forget?" he muttered, making my hackles rise.

"I certainly haven't," I retorted, not quite done with him yet. "Oh and another thing... I'm not sure if it's you or Sam or whoever I should be talking about this to, but Paul's treading a fine line towards exposure. Charlie almost saw him today. He should start watching his ass."

Jacob huffed exasperatedly, turning to me again. "I'll talk to him, is that all?" he asked, clearly realising it was a bad idea to try and reason with me.

"Well, no, he also gave me a full-frontal, but I've got my own ideas to get him back for that," I said, turning to leave. Jacob's eyes widened.

"He what? I'll kill him. Perverted sonovabitch," he grumbled, knuckles tightening on the handle of the shopping cart. I frowned at him, unsure of how he could feel this strongly about protecting me.

"Why do you care anyway?" I asked.

"Because he's out of line, and he thinks he can do whatever he wants. And you're my best-" he hesitated, his eyes meeting mine again. He let out a breath, chewing on his bottom lip for a beat before he finished: "It's still my job to take care of you, Bella."

Something in me began to melt, and I opened my mouth to say something, anything, that would go towards healing the rift between us, but then movement behind him caught my eye. Melanie approached us cautiously, and I wasn't sure if it was down to a fear of interrupting or a fear of me. I let out a frustrated breath, as all the reasons I was mad at him came flooding back. He'd still messed up, still let me get caught up in him when he couldn't be sure I would get hurt, and still convinced me to take a chance on him. If he was really taking care of me, if he was really that concerned for my well-being, that wouldn't have happened.

"No, it isn't Jake. Not anymore," I said, taking a breath to will away the tears I felt forming.

I pushed my chin up, squared my shoulders and nodded at her in greeting. Mumbling my goodbyes, I rounded the corner, keeping up the facade of calm until I got everything through the self-service check-out and got to the truck. I sat there for endless seconds, wondering how it took one look at Jacob to make me forget why I wanted him out of my life in the first place. My resolve was back two-fold, and now that I'd forced myself to see Jacob and his new, perfect life, it was decided. As soon as Victoria was gone, I was out of here, and I refused to let love make me its prisoner in this town again.

All your friends seem like enemies
when you're broken down and empty.

So say goodbye to love,
and hold your head up high.
There's no need to rush
we're all just waiting, waiting to die.

A/N. Ever had that person in your life who, when they're not around, you're sure you're getting over them and then they pop back up and you're back to square one? That's who Jake is for Bella right now, so forgive her for her back-and-forth emotions.

Charlie's the only thing making her sure she dud the right thing here, everything else is a mess. There will be a few more things to show her she made the right decision, though.

I'd really really love to hear your thoughts.