Title: Who Knew
Chapter Nine: All or Nothing
Summary: When Tori Vega stopped talking to her long time best friend Jade West she never expected the heart break she felt, and now that she's found her again she wont let her go.
Rated: T for now, but possibly M later on. I'm not sure.
Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, unfortunately.
A/N: This is after Jade Dumps Beck, but possibly before Tori the Zombie, I'm not sure how I'm going to tie in the episodes with my plan, because it'd be boring to use the same plots; to me anyways. Enjoy, let me know what you think!
When I woke up the next morning it was to a ringing phone, I twisted my arm around behind me and picked my blue pearphone up off of my night stand. Beck's name flashed across my screen, I hit accept and pressed the phone to my ear, grunting as a greeting.
"You find Jade last night? Her little brother called me looking; I put him on hold and figured I'd call you." Beck said without a hello, I yawned into the receiver before I answered
"She's with me; tell him I'll have her call him when she wakes up or after school." I hung up before he could reply, silenced my phone and threw it across the room, my arm wrapping back around Jade's warm body.
"I'm awake." Jade mumbled.
"I know, and now you're going to tell me why you were in my bed with makeup tracked down your face at 1 in the morning." I told her bluntly sitting up and displacing both of us, "I'll keep you here until you tell me."
"You going to keep me here against my will?" she asked, her voice lacking the usual sarcastic bite, so I know she's going to stay no matter what. I hooked my fingers under her chin and tilted her head back so she was looking up at me, "is that a yes?"
"It's a yes, Jade." I murmured softly, my eyes tracing her face, the black makeup coating her beautiful skin disgusting me, "Stay put." I demanded, rolling out of my bed. I spotted the clock next to my laptop; it was 10 in the morning that meant Beck hadn't been at school either, unless he was using the phone in the hallway or something.
I twisted my door knob and jerked open the door, walking across the hall into the bathroom, grabbed a washcloth, wet it and went back to my room where Jade was sitting on my bed looking like a lost puppy; "you've got a lot of makeup on your face." I whispered, handing it to her. She silently wiped her face off, managing to get it all off without a mirror. She could probably feel it caked on her face.
She handed me the cloth and I tossed it into my hamper, sitting down next to her on my bed again, "so talk, why'd you show up here?"
"I didn't know where else to go." She admitted, "I screwed everything up with Beck." She was playing the breakup card; I decided to let her drag this out as long as she wanted, or until I'd had enough of it.
"I'm sorry, is there anything I can do to help?" my eyebrows drew together in fake concern and I reached out to take Jade's hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. She frowned, her green eyes unsure as she studied my face.
"Kiss me." She whispered she looked lost. I was shocked to say the least and frozen in place as she leaned forward, crawling across the bed and over to me. Her face hovered inches from mine for a moment as she took a deep breath, waiting for me to say no, and then she pressed her soft lips to mine and I reacted instantly, leaning into the kiss.
She pushed me onto my back and I put my hands on either side of her face, pulling her closer as every part of my body went up in flames and my room faded away. All I could see and feel was Jade, the way her soft lips moved against mine, her teeth catching my bottom lip and biting softly, her tongue sweeping across my bottom lip and her hand tangling and pulling at my hair.
I let go of her face and grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, my hands moving up her back under her shirt, relishing the feeling of her soft skin on my fingertips again. Her nails bit into the exposed skin on my side as her painful kisses moved down to my neck and turned to a mixture of nips, sucking and kisses which I was sure might be more then a few hicky's.
And then she pulled away with a gasp and my world seemed to shatter like broken glass as reality returned to me. She was cowering up by my pillows and I was propped up by my elbows watching her, "I can't do this…I-Beck…" she whispered, I snapped.
Anger welled inside me as I sat up, "don't try that bullshit on me." I snarled. Her eyes widened in shock and we stood up on separate sides of the bed, "I know all about your relationship with Beck. He told me."
"That jackass had no right!" she screamed her earlier fear being shoved aside by her short temper.
"He might not have had the right, but he did it because he cares about you!" I screamed back, "You need to stop hiding from your feelings, you're going to make yourself miserable pretending you don't still like me!"
"I don't like you, Vega." She hissed. I stalked over to her, balling my hand in her shirt and pulling her close to me, my mouth descending on hers before she could protest. She kissed me back enthusiastically, her arms wrapping around my waist as she pulled me closer. I pushed her away angrily.
"You're a liar Jade. And I don't care that you're lying to me, but quit lying to yourself!" I hollered, my chest heaving from the anger and breathlessness I felt from that kiss. Jade just started at me green eyes wide and nervous, swollen pink lips parted. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, but she didn't speak.
"I can't do this, Tori." What was left of the heart in my chest shattered and fell down into my stomach acid where it was quickly demolished. I could hardly feel the rest of my heart that Jade had locked in a box somewhere.
"Then get out. Don't you dare come back here to string me along if you can't do this. I don't deserve to be treated like a plaything." I walked over to my door feeling like a robot and pulled it open, "Now." The icy tone in my voice almost hurt my throat.
Tears burned my eyes as she picked up her bag and her shoes and rushed out the door. As soon as I heard the front door slam shut I crumpled to the floor, curling up in a tight ball as tears poured down my face, my nose was stuffed up in a matter of minutes and I was gasping for breath through my tears.
Something bright stung my eyes a few hours later and when they finally focused on the object I found my cell phone laying by my face, Cat's bubbling smiling face flashing on the screen, I hit accept and pressed the phone to my ear, "hello…" I whispered, my throat was sore and my voice was raspy and a little deep from my stuffed up nose.
"I'm coming over." Was her instant reply, and about ten minutes later I heard her sprinting up the stairs. I was lying behind the door, still curled up in a ball; she looked around my room confused and turned to leave when she spotted me.
She dropped down to the floor beside me and pulled me into her lap where I burst into frantic, crazed, choked sobbing tears again while she sat and stroked my hair tenderly as one would pet an injured animal. She started saying soothing, meaningless things and then changed to singing softly.
A few minutes later she coaxed me into sitting up and that was when Andre showed up, a box of pizza and a two liter of soda in his hands. I decided to break my moms rule and we ate the pizza in my room, sharing the bottle of soda while I told them what happened.
Andre, the great guy he is, didn't even question why Jade would kiss me, he just simply said that she was being an idiot and would come around eventually, and if she didn't then I shouldn't beat myself up over her loss.
After the pizza we went downstairs and played a zombie shooting game, Super Mario and Need For Speed for the rest of the afternoon. Beck showed up after school and Robbie five minutes after Beck.
We spent the rest of the afternoon playing videogames, and even Trina joined in. After she trapped me in the kitchen and gave me a half hug, whispered I'm sorry about Jade in my ear and kissed my forehead.
Sometimes Trina could actually care about people besides herself and it made me feel ten times better, because she was my sister and no matter how much we fought I knew she'd always be there for me.
Jade didn't show up at school Thursday or Friday, nor did she show up at the bowling alley Friday night. Cat tried to invite her to the fair we were going to on Saturday but she ignored the call.
Sunday we all went to the mall, to a pizza parlor and then worked on homework together. Nobody really talked about Jade, and I assumed somebody had explained the situation to Robbie, because he didn't say anything to us either.
On Monday a note tumbled out of my locker when I opened it before Sikowitz's class. Vega was scrawled across the front of it. I carefully picked it up with a frown on my face. It was folded neatly, but crumbled like someone had been clutching it in their hand desperately.
I slowly unfolded it took a deep breath before reading.
Tori,
I'm sorry for the other night. It's not that I don't want to be with you. I just can't I'm not in control when I'm around you and I can't stand it. But I can't be without you, not now that your back, I need you to be in my life. I need your friendship. It's selfish, I know, and I'm sorry.
J.W.
I crumple the note up and shred it into a million pieces, tossing it in three different garbage cans on my way to class. Everyone was already inside, including Jade and there were two chairs left. One beside Jade and the other beside some blonde guy I didn't know.
I sat down next to the blonde and let my bag fall to the ground beside the chair, while Sikowitz blabbered on about stage presence I pulled out my phone, pulling open my inbox and starting a new message.
I typed Jade's number in from memory and typed the word 'no' biting my lip before I hit send. I heard Jade's phone vibrate and out of the corner of my eye saw her look at the message.
She masked her emotions well, I had no clue what she was feeling, but she typed back rapidly slipping her phone back into her pocket after. My phone buzzed.
Why not?
I sighed, pushing my phone into my pocket. I couldn't just be Jade's friend. Because I was in love with her, and I wanted more then just a friendship with her, I wasn't going to compromise.
All or nothing.
I told myself this over and over again, Andre told me this over and over again, and Cat told me to ignore the text but I just couldn't. At lunch I pulled my phone back and started a new message for Jade.
'I'm in love with you.'
That's all it said, and I watched as she read it. Her eyes lifted from the table and met mine, fear burning in their depths. I looked away before I started the water works, focusing all my attention on the crinkly, old gross salad in front of me.
"Tori." Beck's hand reached over the table and covered mine, pulling me out of my stupor, I glanced over at him nervously, "You okay?" he asks, and both he and Cat are looking at me with deep concern burning in their dark eyes.
"Yep, fine." I sigh, shoving my cell phone into my pocket and sitting up straighter, "I think I'm just going to go home early. I'm really tired." I pick up my bag and sling it over my shoulder, scoop my food box off of the table and dump it in the garbage can on my way to my mom's car.
I drive home as quickly as I can and go upstairs, tossing my phone onto my bed, my bag on the ground and myself in my computer chair. I started working on my homework, hoping that would keep me busy for the rest of the night, and luckily it did.
I woke up bright an early the next morning and took a nice long shower, letting the hot water wash over me for at least twenty minutes before I washed my hair and the rest of my body, then I spent another fifteen minutes before I got out, wrapped a fluffy blue towel around my body and walked into my room, grabbing a small towel for my hair as I passed the hall closet.
For some reason I was in a great mood, not to let it go to waste, I flipped on my stereo as I dried my hair and straightened it. While I worked on my hair I ran though the clothes I had in my closet, trying to figure out what I could wear.
Once I had my hair straightened I walked to my dresser, pulled on some underclothes, and stepped into my closet. I quickly pulled out a white half sleeve shirt with grey stripes, grabbed a pair of light washed ripped up jeans, and a pair of black pumps.
I tugged the clothes on, put on my old 'Hope' necklace and shoved my feet into my shoes. It was 5:30 by the time I was done brushing my teeth, which left me with 15 minutes extra.
I fixed my makeup and then skipped downstairs, "Tori! Can you get gas for my car on your way home?" My mom called, tossing me some keys. I nod and catch them without hesitation, spinning and walking out of the house.
I get into my moms car, start it, and pull out of the driveway. I listen to music turned all the way up as I drive, singing along happily. I hop out of my car at the coffee shop and dance my way up to the door.
I reach for the door at the same time as Beck, "Morning Tori." He pulls the door open for me and motions me inside, Cat follows me and Beck follows her, "feeling better I take it?" he inquires.
"Much." I reply with a smile, I step up to the counter and place my coffee and bagel order, pay and step aside for Cat and Beck to order. The three of us sit down at a table in the back once we get our orders so we can eat.
Half way through my bagel Andre and Jade show up, "Hey guys, over here!" Cat calls before turning to me with wide scared eyes. I smile at Andre and wave them over. Cat visibly relaxes and moves to sit next to Beck so Andre and Jade have a place to sit down.
Jade doesn't say anything to me, and I don't say anything to her, but we all talk and it's not awkward which I would have expected. We fall into an easy rhythm and only part ways to drive back to school, once we get to school we find places to sit around the staircase and continue our argument about who would win in a fight, Robbie or Rex.
"Oh please, that'd be like you winning a fight against Jade!" Andre laughed.
"No way, Tori would stand a chance against me, just not much of one." Jade laugh, "But why are we arguing about this anyways? Rex is a puppet!" I couldn't suppress the bubble of laughter that left my mouth when Robbie and Rex walked by arguing.
"I can't believe he still has that puppet." Cat sighed from beside me, her dark brown eyes following Robbie's movement across the hallways, "he wasn't always so dorky and helpless, but now…"
There are murmurs of agreement, but Jade and I sit there silently. The others had known him since elementary school, but Jade and I hadn't. He'd already had the creepy puppet when Jade switched here, so she had no clue what the others meant either.
The bell rang before we could find a new argument and we all went our separate ways. In Sikowitz's class we all sat in a semicircle waiting for our crazy teacher to show up, which he still hadn't done 30 minutes into class.
"Where is he?" Jade complained, "I've got better things to do."
"Like what?" Andre asked, all eyes turned to Jade.
"Cutting….things." her eyes must've held something I couldn't see since she had turned to look at him and put her back to me, because Andre gulped, sat back and looked away from her.
A few minutes later the door finally burst open and Sikowitz stepped in, "took you long enough!" Jade yelled.
"Lovely to see you Jade, Ah! Tori, you're back!" he nodded in my general direction, tossed his bag across the room and jumped into a lesson about accents around the world. I paid about half attention to what he was saying; my mind was off in another world of how tired I was after the long period in math with that stupid test.
When the bell rang I silently picked up my bag and went to follow Jade out of the room when Sikowitz halted us, "Tori, Jade, Andre, Beck, Cat and Robbie!" I faltered and took a few steps back so everyone could get back into the room, "how would you kids like to do me a favor? For money?"
"You do realize how creepy that sounds, right?" Jade asked from behind me, her breath moved my hair enough for Goosebumps to rise across my body.
"A friend of mine is having a party for her little girls and their friends and they wanted some princesses and princes to show up and sing some songs, and I told her that I could get a few of you together…" murmurs went around, all of us looking anywhere but at Sikowitz's begging eyes, "two hundred dollars each…"
"I'll do it." Cat caved first, it was usually her or me.
"Me too." I agreed, having looked up at his pathetic face and those begging eyes. He had the kicked puppy look down pat.
"Alright, I'm in." Jade added, everyone else quickly agreed, Sikowitz told us the details and explained we had a 400 dollar spending cap for our outfits along with two hundred each for showing up to the party and performing.
We had until Saturday to find outfits and figure out who was doing what. He also handed us a list of prince and princesses we could choose from. I took the list and then we went to eat lunch in a hurry, deciding to meet at my place to work out what we were doing.
Thankfully Trina, mom and dad went out for the afternoon so we didn't have to try to hide what we were doing from Trina and her nosiness. We sat around on my red couches while I read the names of characters off the list.
"Cinderella, Ariel, Aurora, Snow White, Belle, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana, Rapunzel, Jasmine, Esmeralda, Anastasia, and Kayley. For the guys, The Prince, Prince Charming, Eric, Prince Philip, Prince Adam AKA the Beast, Aladdin, Le Shang, Prince Naveen, and Flynn Rider."
"Well none of you are blonde so we should take Cinderella and Aurora off the list." Beck said, I crossed those out, "I'll go as Aladdin I guess." He added. I scribbled his name next to that.
"I'll go as Ariel!" Cat chirped happily.
"I'll go as Naveen." Andre said, I nodded and scribbled his name down along with Cat's, "and maybe Robbie should go as Prince, or Eric. I'd say Eric."
"Who's Kayley?" Robbie asked, ignoring Andre.
I faked offence, "You don't know?"
"It's one of Tori's favorite movies." Jade supplied casually, as if she was stating the date, "Quest for Camelot. And if you ask who Anastasia is she'll probably slap you." I nodded in agreement and looked down at the list; unsure of whom I was going as.
"I'll go as Snow White." Jade told me leaning over to look at the list, I scribbled her name down. And looked at the people left on the list. I frowned, unsure of which of these I could be. I guess I could go as Jasmine, or a really tan version of Belle, Jade was peering over my shoulder, "You should probably go as Jasmine."
"I was just thinking that." I mumbled as I scribbled my name beside Jasmine, "so we should go shopping at some point and work on the songs were going to do…and meet somewhere else because Trina will no doubt try to get into this."
"We can meet at my house." Cat offered in a cheerful voice, I looked around seeing if anyone else would offer, because with Cat's brother around I certainly did not want to be trying to get ready there.
"We can meet at my place; I'm supposed to be dog sitting anyways." Andre offered, I inwardly sighed in relief. We agreed to go shopping tomorrow, settled on songs to sing, because they wanted more then the standard songs the characters sing.
Then we all went our separate ways because I had to work on homework so did Beck, Robbie, and Cat and Andre had to go pick up the dog he was sitting and I didn't bother finding out why Jade left.
After I finished up I crawled into my bed and just laid there, staring up at my star covered ceiling. I had the lights off and the strings of lights turned on. My room glowed like the evening sky, the white lights bounced off of the gold stars making them shine and I just smiled, drifting off to sleep while I gazed at the stars.
"Jade?" I called, my hand resting on the frame of her door. I was peering down the staircase trying to see through the blinding darkness. One step at a time I moved down the steps. The door slammed shut behind me and I jumped, but I kept going, "Jade?"
I reach the bottom step and find that her string lights are now plugged in, illuminating the room enough to where I can see her legs tangled in her sheets, "Jade?" I call again, stepped forward, closer to her bed.
My hand reaches out and I gently shake her foot, her eyes snap open and she sits up, grabbing me and pulling me down onto her bed, flattening me to the mattress with her hands holding my wrists above my head, "Tori…what the hell." She whispered.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." I whispered, her glare softened and she smiled at me.
"It's okay, babe. Glad you're home from work." She leaned down and kissed me softly, her grip on my wrists loosing until she fully let them go and her hands were roaming up under my shirt, tickling my sides as her tongue explored my mouth.
She pulled away to soon, rolling back onto her side of the bed once she did, and her arm went around my waist and pulled me against her, "you going to sleep in your jeans?" she asked.
I shook my head and shimmed out of them, throwing them across the room as I curled up next to her taking her left hand in mine. Which is when I noticed the rings, we both had wedding bands on our left hands.
I looked back at Jade over my shoulder. We're we married? Was I looking at my wife?
"Tori, we have to get up early tomorrow, go to sleep." She kissed my shoulder softly and pulled me closer; my eyes fell closed, briefly taking in a picture on the wall of us. I was in a white dress, she was in a dark blue dress, and we were standing under an alter.
I sat up with a gasp, my eyes darting around the dark room. I was back in my room now, still 16 year old me. No wedding ring, not married to Jade, not anything to Jade. I flopped back on my bed with a long sigh.
What the hell was that dream?
The Jade story will be separate from this one, and posted soon.
I hope you enjoyed, the next update will probably postponed due to some personal problems. Sorry about that. I hope this will hold you over until then.