Come into these arms again and lay your body down

The rhythm of this trembling heart is beating like a drum

It beats for you – it bleeds for you – it knows not how it sounds

For it is the drum of drums; it is the song of songs.

…

Oh loneliness – oh hopelessness to search the ends of time

For there is in all the world no greater love than mine.

Let me be the only one to keep you from the cold

Now the floor of heaven's lain with stars of brightest gold.

They shine for you – they shine for you – they burn for all to see

Come into these arms again and set this spirit free.

Love Song for a Vampire, Annie Lennox 1992

Disclaimer: You all know this by now, but I don't own Twilight. Clearly, if I did, it wouldn't have been marketed as YA.

My love and thanks to my betas, DeJean Smith, Swimom7, and SparklyBabs. They are amazing. Also, the song used in this chapter has quickly become one of my favorite songs. To me, it sums up Edward's pain. If you haven't heard it, go listen to it. It's gorgeous.

Edward called a cab, and they sat huddled together in the back seat, his hand gently stroking her neck. He paid the driver quickly when they arrived at the hotel and pulled her by the hand gently into the lobby. Edward had booked adjoining rooms on the sixth floor, and Bella watched him push the up arrow several times impatiently as they waited for the elevator.

She smiled mischievously and wrapped her arms around his forearm.

"In a hurry?" she asked, looking up at him innocently.

"You have no idea," he purred, leaning down and kissing her forehead.

She felt a tremor in his lips as he kissed her, and she held onto him more tightly. She wondered what he was planning and how much he was willing to give in.

They reached the door to Bella's room and when she fished the key card out of her pocket, Edward snatched it from her hand, his eyes dark again and his face tense. Bella felt a fluttering in her stomach as she looked at him, remembering his words from the river bank that afternoon. Because I'm hungry, Bella … for you. She really hoped so.

She walked through the door after Edward opened it for her. She felt, rather than heard him behind her. He shut the door quickly and blackness surrounded them. Bella stood still, afraid to move further into the unfamiliar room for fear of falling over something. Edward's arms were around her in an instant, and his lips were on her neck just behind her ear.

"Jesus, Edward," she gasped. "You startled me!"

He turned her around quickly, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I just couldn't wait any longer."

His lips were on hers again, and his hands found her ass. This time when he lifted her up, she was already reaching for him on tip toe. She wrapped her legs around his waist, kicking her slip-on shoes off and linked her feet behind him. He kneaded her bottom in the palm of his hands and her hips moved with him.

"Oh, God, you feel good," he groaned, walking with her over to the bed.

When he laid her down and knelt between her legs, Bella reached up for his shirt, finding his buttons. She could see him in the soft moonlight that filtered into her room; he almost glowed. She looked up at him with a question in her eyes, and he nodded. She undid the rest of the buttons with shaking fingers. He pulled the shirt off, throwing it behind him.

"I want to feel your skin on mine," she said quietly, running her fingers along the plane of his stomach.

He reached down and traced the edges of her v-neck sweater, brushing her skin as he went. Moving quickly, he found the bottom hem and lifted it up. Bella sat up and held her hands above her head as he pulled it off. She kneeled up on the bed in front of him and ran her fingers over his shoulders. He reached behind her and worked the stays of her bra off. She shrugged out of it and knelt before him. Edward wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

As their chests met, they both gasped at the feeling of electricity pulsing between them. Fire and ice, just like in her dream, they melted together perfectly. Slowly, he eased her backwards until she was lying on the bed underneath of him. He held himself away from her, so she wrapped her legs around him, trying to pull him down to her and keep him close to her.

"I'm not going anywhere," he murmured, sitting back on his heels and running his fingers down the inside of her thighs. "I want to try something."

She leaned backwards on the bed, her head thrown back in pleasure as his fingers caressed the soft flesh of her thighs through her jeans. She took her lip between her teeth as his fingers brushed the seam of her pants.

"Edward," she whispered as his fingers made a second pass over her, moving more firmly and sending a jolt a pleasure through her.

Her hips bucked upwards, pressing against his hand. Bella lifted up and began working at the button on her jeans. She wanted him, and she didn't think she could wait any longer. His hands covered hers, gently pushing them aside.

"We can't make love tonight, even though I want it more than I've ever wanted anything in my life," he whispered, leaning down and kissing her fingertips.

"But …" Bella murmured, confused because he seemed to still be moving forward.

"Someday you will understand how unfathomably long I have waited for you," he said, and his voice trailed off into a whisper. "Lifetimes."

She didn't understand what he meant, but his hand moved back to her thighs, and he brushed his fingers back and forth, moving ever closer to her center. She made an incoherent noise, somewhere between desire and frustration. But then his fingers nimbly undid the button and zipper. With a gentle tug, her jeans were around her knees. Edward ran his finger from her belly button to the top of her panties.

"What—"

Her voice caught in her throat as his finger dipped below the elastic. Her eyes rolled back in her head as his hand moved achingly slow over her skin.

"Bella, do you trust me?"

She opened her eyes and Edward was leaning over top of her. His golden eyes were glowing in the faint light of the room.

"Yes," she whispered without hesitation.

She felt the whisper of fabric as he pulled the jeans completely off of her. His body hovered over hers and she wanted to feel him, all of him, moving against her. Instead, he pulled away from her. As she sat up, she felt his lips brush against the inside of her thigh. She gasped and leaned backwards again, propping herself up on her elbows.

Edward hooked his hands around her knees and pulled her toward him until she felt the edge of the bed under her ass. His fingers shook as he reached for her underwear, and she stilled his hand reluctantly.

"We – you don't have to do this," she said, trying to mask the disappointment in her voice. "It's enough to know you want me."

"My fingers are not shaking because I have doubts," he replied, his breath puffing against her overheated skin. "I believe they call this barely restrained desire, love. I can't wait to taste you."

Edward laid a gentle kiss over her sex, and she cried out. She could feel the soft satin of his lips on her and the tingling coolness of his breath against her overheated center. He reached up, grabbing the elastic band of her panties and pulled them down as she lifted her hips for him. She'd never been more anxious or more ready in her life. She thought she might come the moment his mouth touched her. He threw her underwear behind him and turned back to her.

He started slowly, his nose brushing against first one thigh and then the other. His cool breath was sweet torture on her sensitive skin. When his tongue slipped out and brushed against the meeting of her thigh, she balled her fists in the covers and groaned loudly.

Bella felt his lips on the edge of her center, and she moaned, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she fought to maintain control. She felt him breathe in deeply and let out a shuddering sigh as his hands moved around her hips. His tongue flattened against her as he licked her, moving slowly through her sex. She heard his growl of desire and it only intensified the pleasure she felt at finally feeling him inside of her.

"Fuck, Bella," he moaned, looking up at her. "You taste exquisite."

His tongue circled the small bundle of nerves and then pressed against it, sending a shockwave of pleasure through her. She squeezed her eyes shut and moved her hand to his hair, meaning to run her fingers gently through it. But when he ran his tongue against her harder, she gripped his hair in her hand tightly and cried out his name.

Edward's hand moved from her hips around to her thigh. As he moved closer to her throbbing center, she made inarticulate noises, begging him for more. He added first one finger and then another, curling his fingers inside her as his tongue began to move more rhythmically. The pleasure coiled within her, and she could feel it building higher and higher as his tongue and fingers moved in tandem.

"Oh! Yes," she cried, his fingers going deeper within her.

Edward's name was on her lips as she came. She felt tremors of pleasure throughout her body as he slowed and brought her down from the high, allowing her to fully ride out her orgasm. He feathered kisses over her thighs and up her stomach as she lay panting on the bed, shockwaves still charging through her blood.

She felt him lie down at her side and opened her eyes. He was staring intently at her, his eyes darker than she'd ever seen them and his lips still glistening from her. He was smiling broadly, and she had to chuckle.

"Don't you look proud of yourself?" she asked, rolling over on her side and rubbing his cheek with her thumb.

"I rather am, actually," he murmured, moving forward and stopping just short of kissing her.

He looked at her questioningly, and she closed the distance between them with a soft moan. His lips and tongue were warm from her heat and tasted of her. It only enhanced their kiss, reminding her of where he had been and what he had done to her. She pushed herself up on still shaky arms and moved over top of him.

Edward's hands settled on her hips, and she straddled his stomach, groaning at the feel of his skin against her center again. He whimpered and kissed her more deeply, tangling his fingers in her hair and pulling her body close to his.

When she pulled back, he eased his hold on her head, and she moved away from him, breathless again.

"I want to try something, too," she whispered, leaning forward and kissing down his neck.

He groaned as she ran her teeth over his collar bone and traveled lower to his chest. She ran her tongue around his nipple, feeling it harden. She pulled back and blew on the wet skin, making Edward hiss and grab at the sheets.

"Bella," he moaned, releasing the sheets and catching her gently under her arms as she moved down his body. "What are you doing?"

She saw his nostrils flare and his eyebrows creased. He wanted her to continue, but he was holding back … again.

"What do you think I'm doing?" she asked, winking at him as a smile quirked her lips.

She ran her fingers down his body, feeling the soft ripples of his muscles tensing under her hands. She reached the waistband of his pants, and she ran her fingers underneath, grabbing it in her hands. Edward sighed heavily and took her wrists in his hands gently.

"This – I didn't come here – you don't have to do this," he finally managed.

She giggled and shook her head.

"I don't think I've ever seen you at a loss for words, Edward," she said.

"Yes, well … you do strange things to me," he said wryly.

"Edward, I want this so badly," she whispered, looking up at him with the waistband of his pants still in her hands. "Let me show you."

Her fingers dipped lower, brushing the head of his erection. He threw his head back, the cords of his neck standing out as he moaned. His hands were still around her wrists, but his grip was loosening. He was so close to letting go, but something still held him back.

"You asked if I trusted you," Bella said, easing off of him and kneeling between his legs on the bed. "Do you trust me?"

He looked back up at her, his face clouded in lust, and he simply nodded. He removed his hands from her wrists and waited.

"Move back," she commanded, with a small smile. "Lean against the pillows."

He scrambled to comply, and she moved with him, her fingers still locked around the waistband of his pants. He sat up, his arm up over his head and his hand wrapped around one of the posts of the bed. The intensity of the desire she saw in his gaze was almost palpable as she moved her fingers to the top button of his jeans. Button fly, she thought, smirking. Once the top one was done, she pulled and the rest popped free.

He lifted his hips for her as she eased the pants off of him. Bella ran her hands over the tight blue boxers, just barely grazing his hardness with her fingertips. She watched him intently as she moved. His mouth opened as her fingers played with him, his lips parted in a perfect O, and his eyes closed tightly. She took her fingers away from him, and ran them up and down his thighs, teasing him with varying pressure on his skin. His bottom lip began to tremble softly as she inched closer to him.

When she reached up and pulled at the waistband of his briefs, she saw him twitch in anticipation. He lifted up his hips quickly, and she pulled them off of him, eager to finally see all of him.

Edward was unbelievably perfect, almost too beautiful to look at. His pale, flawless skin covered tightly coiled muscles all over his body. When she rested her eyes on his cock, straining and erect for her, she moaned softly and reached out for him. She brushed the tip with her fingers, watching Edward's reaction.

Bella knew what she wanted; she wanted to settle herself over him, let him fill her completely, and feel him move within her. But she wouldn't push him further than he was comfortable; he'd already said they couldn't make love tonight. Still, she intended to have him inside of her.

She bent forward and licked him from base to tip, following the direct motion with her hand. She heard him bang his head against the headboard of the bed, groaning as she swirled her tongue around the head.

"Fuck, Bella," he whispered reverently.

When she looked up at him, taking him in her mouth, his eyes were open, black discs of desire. The strange purring noise that she heard at the library returned, louder, as she moved her mouth around him, taking as much of him into her mouth as she could.

She held the shaft in her hand, pumping slowly at first so that her fingers met her lips and then moved back down. Bella knew she was going slowly, but she could feel the tension building in him, and she wanted to savor this feeling of her total control over him. As she picked up speed, she saw his hand grip the bed sheets and heard his head thump softly over and over against the headboard.

She could feel it building, and she increased her speed, humming around him. His whole body tensed as he came, and he let out a feral growl. Bella felt him pulse inside of her and tasted him on her tongue. She moaned as she swallowed hard, running her tongue up and down his length as he twitched and was spent.

He tasted … different. Not bad, not wonderful either if she was being honest. But it left the same tingling in her mouth that she felt after he kissed her and that was not entirely unpleasant at all. She felt the strange sensation all through her body after and it left her wanting more. Always more, it seemed.

Bella kissed her way up his body, touching and tasting him as she went, reveling in the freedom of having his whole body at her disposal. When she reached his shoulder, she nuzzled his neck and brought her lips to his ear.

"Now … aren't you glad you trusted me?" she whispered.

He turned to face her slowly and brought his lips to hers, moving gently with her. She was straddling his leg, and he moved her so that she was lying on the bed beside him. He pulled away and ran his fingers over her body, shaking his head as he looked at her.

"How did I ever get so lucky as to deserve a woman like you?" he murmured.

His hand cupped her breast, and he brushed the nipple with his thumb. Her breath caught in her throat, and her eyes closed involuntarily.

"You best settle down if you don't want me to attack you," she said in a strangled voice. When she opened her eyes, he seemed to be regarding her with confusion. "I only have so much control, Edward, and you've damn near driven me wild tonight."

A smile spread across his face, softening his features, and he leaned down, laying his head against her bare chest just over her heart. Bella ran her fingers gently through his hair, slowly coming down from the high of being with him. She started to worry that he would regret it … regret her. His lips began to move against her skin again, making her shiver in delight as he kissed her gently, quickly up her neck and over her cheeks.

"Thank you," he said.

She softly pulled on his hair until his face was level with hers and she could see the almost glowing yellow ring around his pupils.

"Why are you thanking me?" she asked.

"For being with me like that," he whispered. "For convincing me."

"Umm, you're welcome?" she said, her voice trailing off into a laughing question. "Edward, that was amazing. And I totally wanted that. I'm glad you let me convince you."

He chuckled, the vibration sending new and delicious waves of pleasure through her body. Slowly, he lowered his head back to her chest.

"It's getting late," he murmured, his hand still gently cupping her breast. "I should let you get some sleep."

"Stay," she whispered. "Don't leave me yet."

For just a moment, she heard the low growl again and then it was gone. He settled her carefully in his arms, facing away from him and held her wrapped in his embrace.

"I still can't believe you really want me," he said when she was lying comfortably beside him.

"Why is that so hard for you to believe?" she asked, twisting around to look at him.

He sighed and rubbed his nose against her as he shook his head back and forth.

"When we were at the library … you found something in the letters that gave you pause, didn't you?" he asked finally.

She thought back over the letters, the many mentions of the vampire legends and the nagging unanswered questions that kept cropping up about who or what Edward really was. She wouldn't wager a guess yet, not until she was completely sure. The reason she wanted to go back to the Cambridge Library tomorrow, and the reason she was glad that she'd be alone, was because she wanted to look further into the legends mentioned in the letters. She wanted to see if they matched up with some of the anomalies she'd seen in the Bode's letters … and with some of the things she'd noticed about Edward over the past week.

"Bella, is there something you want to tell me?" he pressed, his eyes wide and open.

She shook her head slowly.

"No," she said softly. "I saw things that I want to look at further, but nothing I'm ready to share … yet."

He sighed again and burrowed his face in her hair. She recognized the sigh as that of exasperation and had to giggle.

"Are you getting … impatient, my sweet?" she asked playfully.

She felt him smile against her back at her spontaneous term of endearment. She made a mental note to use it more.

"Perhaps," he said. "Perhaps a little anxious as well."

"When will you believe me that nothing will make me leave you?" she asked, her voice betraying a bit of her exasperation.

He was silent for some time, and she wondered if he'd drifted off. He'd never fallen asleep before her in the past. But then again, she thought, we've never given each other mind-blowing orgasms before. She stifled a chuckle at her silliness just as she felt him move behind her.

"I believe you," he said quietly. "But I will be satisfied only when forever and forever have played themselves out and you are still by my side."

Bella felt the flutter of butterfly wings in her stomach at his words. Forever … and forever, she thought. The question that troubled her as she pondered over the letters returned to her. What was Edward? And, a new question added itself to the mix: Just how long was forever to a being like him?

The concept of being frightened or repelled by the thought that Edward was something other never even occurred to her. Edward simply was, and she would take him however he was.

A/N: Very possibly the smuttiest thing I've ever written. Happy Monday. Lol. Anyway, I think it's pretty clear how close she is to figuring this out and what her response will eventually be. Yes, she's a little freaked at the many possibilities that are out there, but she sees them and she isn't dismissing them outright. Really, she only needs a few more clues to piece it all together. Now, to make sure Edward doesn't fuck it up when she does guess, right? Silly, emo vampire. ;) Hope you enjoyed the smuttiness! Pretty sure they both needed that. ~Jen