Hey guys, thanks for putting up with the long wait! I've had a crazy weekend, but it's over now, so here we are! Enjoy! And, just in case you didn't notice, I reposted chapter eight because the end was messed up…also, in the Author's Note there is an explanation for why Alice (Cullen) can See the wolves! Enjoy!

Oh, and by the way, if you all have liked this story so far, go have a look at Darker than Black by Black Moon Falling!

Thanks to those who reviewed!

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I am not Stephenie Meyer, and in this story…I only own Alice Swan! But she's pretty good, don't you think?

Chapter Ten

After Alice and my extended shopping trip we headed home to see what was going on there. Nothing special was happening, Charlie was out fishing as he had been so many times when I was a kid. I put away the groceries and then, since Alice was at first beach with Leah and Jake, I started to do some cleaning. Charlie was too busy to clean…and he most definitely didn't want to. Sue mostly did the cleaning, because she didn't work, but I didn't want her to have to do it all now that I was around. I started with my room.

Since I had decided to come so suddenly there had not been much chance for my room to be cleaned up. I was pretty sure that what had happened was that the room had quickly been cleared of all the boxes that were now crowding the basement. But there was still sawdust and other such things on the floor. There was really too little to sweep, so I took out a vacuum and started to run it. Suddenly, the vacuum stalled and I bent down to see what was the matter.

I opened the canister in the heart of the vacuum and then closed it again when I saw that the vacuum didn't need to be replaced. I stepped back, concluding that the stall was just a random malfunction and that I was free to start again. I turned it on and began to vacuum once more. I ran it a few times over the offensive spot and found that the floorboard was loose in that one area. I assumed that a woodchip had gotten caught in there.

Just to see why it was loose I stepped on it a few times, hoping to find a weak spot that I could nail in later that day. Instead, I got a bruise on my shin when it flew up to reveal a cavity underneath. And filling the hole were all sorts of things that I had tried so hard to block out of my memory. There was a CD and quite a few tarnished photographs. A few presents that he had given me, one from Carlisle and Esme. I had thrown out all of my things from him that he had not 'taken' with me, such as the stereo for my truck and the clothing that Alice had given me. But now I see that most of the things were all here, in my room, the entire time.

In a fashion very similar to that first night without him I froze, my muscles collapsed. Again I felt the wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and finally the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had receded until now reared high up and washed over my head.

But this time I was better prepared. I had Alice and Jake and Leah and Charlie and Frankie and Angela and even Renee, however insubstantial she was to rely on. When he, Edward, had gone I hadn't been in Forks long enough to bond with anybody but him, even my father was pushed to the sidelines for him, but now, with seventeen years of social relations that I could rely on I would not fall so far that I could not recover.

But I was content to cry and scream in the empty house until it was one-thirty and I realized that Alice, Leah and Jake would be over in a few minutes. My best friends and daughter would be there for me. I left the vacuum there and the floorboard open when I went to clean myself up. Jake had seen me in much worse condition, and Leah wouldn't care, but as always, Alice was most important.

When I opened the door to let them in Jake immediately went from good cheer to worry. Leah's expression changed in the same manner. Alice's excitement didn't dissipate immediately, though, she held up a few pretty rocks that she had found on the beach. I admired them half-heartedly for a moment and then went to place them on the coffee table. I smiled at her, and Jacob visibly relaxed. Jacob grabbed my hand as I took Alice's raincoat from her (they had brought it just in case) and looked into my eyes while he mouthed, 'Do you need to talk?' I nodded gratefully.

He took Leah aside gently and asked her to take Alice up to our room to play. I heard him and shrieked, "No!"

All three people looked around. They were all shocked. I tried to feel my face from the inside out and found that it was unfeeling, mask like it had been seventeen years ago. I forced a smile. "What I meant to say was, maybe Leah and Alice could play in the backyard instead of in our room? I have to show Uncle Jake something in there. Is that alright with you guys?"

"Of course." Said Leah. Of course she wouldn't care that it was raining buckets outside. She only took Alice's raincoat back from the closet and donned one of her own. Leah was the only werewolf concerned with wearing clothing, so she kept a raincoat on her most of the time as well to keep her clothing dry. That, of course, made it difficult to phase on the fly but she said it was worth it. The younger ladies disappeared.

We waited until the door closed to relax our façade. I let out a strangled scream and fell into Jake's arms, crying. "Shh, Bella honey, shh, it's alright." He held me up easily with all of his extra mass and extra strength, but he relocated to the couch in order that I could lie down. I curled up with my head in his lap. "Alright," he said soothingly. "Now tell me what's wrong, sweetheart."

He patted my hair as I sobbed; ruining his shirt…he had put one on because he didn't like to go half-naked around Alice. He said that he didn't want her to get used to half-naked boys. He had volunteered to be her protector…like a big brother in some ways more than an uncle. And, of course, he was her godfather. That was another thing to be thankful for as I confided in him. "Oh, Jake," I sniffed, "It was awful. I was cleaning up our room today…and the vacuum broke and…" I collapsed into tears again. But there were none left in my system. I just heaved dry sobs for a few minutes before I could calm down.

"I was vacuuming, and then the floor…opened…and then I was looking into the hole. And Edward was inside there!" I bawled.

"I'm sorry, honey, I'm not following you. Can you explain more?" He seemed tense, but not overly anxious. He obviously could not smell the vampires, he was confused.

I shook my head, I could not explain more.

"Can you show me?"

"Sure, Jake, it's upstairs. You know where my room is."

"Do you want to come up with me?"

"Not really." I looked up at him, mostly cured after being able to have a little – big – cry about it. "I'm sorry for ruining your shirt, Jake."

"No problem," he told me. "It's been worse." He grinned.

I did too. When Alice was a baby and I had brought her on a plane to Forks it hadn't gone so well. The moment that we had gotten off of the plane Jake had met us; and he had been met by some spectacular barf on Alice's part. The security had understood, thankfully, when he took off his shirt. Not that he had been cold.

He reached out a hand to help me get off of the couch. I sighed, grabbed his hand, and pulled myself up. "I'm going to go wash my face, Jake; you can have a look if you want."

"'Kay, Bells. Are you sure that you're alright?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine." I looked out of the back door. "Maybe I'll go join the girls; maybe I'll send Leah in. What do you think?"

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me. Just don't hurt yourself, okay Bella? Do you promise me?" Oh, so he was worried about that. He never really had gotten over that attempted suicide of mine. Well, what was I supposed to do? My reason for existence had gone away, never to return! So why should I exist anymore? That had been my reasoning. But I was fine now. I was on antidepressants, anyway. I had been for about fifteen years. I'd never stopped taking them, just in case.

I placed both hands over my heart. "Broke my heart and hope to die, Jake." It was my own personal twist on the phrase. It was our code that I needed help, but was sane enough to realize that. "Seriously, I'll call a doctor, alright?"

"Alright," he said, backing out of the room his eyes still on me.

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the faucet, but knocked over the soap dish that was on the counter in the process. I jumped backward, away from the breaking porcelain and ended up backing into the shower, which had a glass door. The shower door fell into the shower, shattering, and I fell in with it. I didn't make a noise, used to such catastrophes, but then I did curse when I noticed the blood gathering on the palms of both hands and wrists.

It was my blood; I had braced my fall into the shower with my hands, and had ended up smashing my wrists against the serrated edge of the shower door track. I began to feel faint; I stopped breathing through my nose and got up carefully, picking glass out of my skin. Jake came in the door then, "Bella!" he roared.

"Hey Jake, do you want to give me a hand?" I was still picking glass out of my hands and wrists.

"You promised, Bella! What in the world…I could smell the blood from upstairs! Did you think you could get away with this?" He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the bathroom.

"Ow, Jake! Let go!" I stumbled along behind him. He went to the front closet and grabbed my coat.

"Put this on."

"Where are we going, Jake?"

"Dr. Gerandy's."

"Will you let me clean up first? I thought that was the plan!"

"It was, until you started cutting yourself again! You promised, Bella!" His face was tortured, angry and scared all at the same time.

"Jake!" I said, shocked, "I wasn't cutting myself! Can you believe that? I fell!" I wasn't surprised that he had thought that, but I was still bothered that he still didn't trust me not to kill myself. "I have something to live for, now." I told him, "Alice is just outside. How do you think she would feel if I just died? She's already been orphaned once, Jake."

He looked hurt, "You had something to live for last time, Bells, I was there…remember?"

"Yeah, I guess." I didn't know what to say. He wasn't enough? That would be a lie. Maybe that he wasn't a reason to exist; he had been a reason to keep going. But if I had to make the choice I still would have gone into nonexistence. That's why I cut myself the first time. Fortunately for me, I failed to kill myself and Jake found out the next day when I called to cancel our date and he came over.

"Here, come on," he held onto my wrist and pulled me back to the bathroom.

"Let go, Jake. You're hurting me." I said in a much calmer tone than before. We got to the bathroom, "Look," I pointed out the fallen shower. "That fell when I backed up into it to avoid the porcelain from that." I pointed to the soap dish.

He started laughing, "I would only believe that from you, Bella!"

I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or insulted. I rolled up my sleeves and washed the blood down the drain, realizing only then that I had been breathing this whole time and not smelled a thing. Weird, maybe I was becoming immune to the smell of blood…I drew in a long breath. My head spun. No, I guess that I was just caught in the moment.

I dried my arms and fixed my shirt. I went outside of the bathroom and taped a piece of printer paper on the door that said:

Caution

Do Not Enter

Broken Glass

Hopefully, that would keep Leah, Alice and Charlie out until I could get back and clean up. I pulled on my coat and grabbed my purse and prescription to the medicine that I was taking. I was going to a new psychologist, so I didn't want to come unprepared.

At the office Jake checked me in while I waited for him in the waiting room. I picked up a magazine that said, Parenting for Dummies just for the heck of it. I was reading a short story sent in by a mother about how her seven year old child tried to make her adopt a new cat by getting one off of the street and setting it loose in their house. Chaos ensued. Jake came back to sit by me and told me that the psychologist would be free for an emergency between 2 and 3, his usual lunch break. I checked the clock. Jake and I decided to stick around for that time; it was only about fifteen minutes. We were called in after the final patient left.

He stuck out his hand, "Hello, I'm Dr. Maxwell Steinberg, but you can just call me Max, everybody does."

Jake and I shook his hand and we went into his room. The visit was brief. He gave me his card just in case and a prescription for a different kind of medicine, something that he said would work better than my current medicine. We left. I vowed never to go to a shrink again. I hated having to choose my words so carefully!

Back at the house, Alice and Leah were cooking dinner. They were bringing it out of the kitchen and setting the table.

"Aw, guys! You didn't have to do that!"

"It was our pleasure!" said Leah and the same time that Jake said, "Nice!" and pulled out a chair to sit down. I laughed and we all sat down to eat some lasagna. I was cured…for now.

And guys, if you're about to review, please tell me where you think this story should go! I know where I want it to end up, but I need ideas for the middle. So just tell me how you think it should end…and get to your ending! Thanks a million!

-SopranoandBass