Disclaimer: Don't own Life With Derek. Or Monopoly. 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: Holy crap. Has it really been nearly a month since my last update? Huh. Sure doesn't feel like it. Ah, well, nothing I can do about it except apologize and make up for it with THIS chapter.

IMPORTANT: This chapter is a bit… umm… explicit, so… I think I'll rate it 14A. It's not bad enough to bump it up to M, but it's still… you know. A bit higher than just T, haha.

Enjoy!

X

Code Names for Puberty
New Territory

X

Okay, so maybe she was a little harsh.

And maybe - just maybe - she overreacted a bit, but really, Edwin totally had it coming. He'd been living with the McDonald women for a little over a year and should've known by now to never blame a girl's sudden change in behavior (AKA: moodswings) on her period. It was common knowledge. So, in retrospect, he totally deserved the slap for being a complete moron.

However, Lizzie mused as she tore her gaze away from the window and peered over at Edwin, who was currently sitting on the other side of Marti in the Prince; she couldn't help but feel a tad bit guilty. After all, it wasn't Edwin's fault that he was utterly incompetent when it came to the fairer sex.

It was the fact that he was a guy in general that made him so ridiculously incompetent.

Men were not programmed to know a woman's thoughts and feelings - though the latter really wished they were. It would make things so much easier. But alas, it was not meant to be. Add that to the fact that Edwin was not only socially awkward, but also the pubescent middle child of the Venturi-McDonald clan whose wants and needs, much like her own, were often pushed aside to make room for their elder siblings' own selfish wants and needs, and well… his incompetence was to be expected.

Having Derek - cool, collected, confident macho manwhore Derek Venturi - as an older brother didn't help matters either. If anything, it made matters worse.

It was painfully clear that Edwin wanted nothing more than to be like Derek, but it wasn't going to happen. He tried too hard sometimes, which, on more than one occasion, had resulted in quite an unpleasant outcome. Fortunately, he appeared to be getting better - at not trying to imitate everything Derek did, that was.

Still, even though Edwin wasn't following Derek around like a lost puppy anymore, taking his verbal abuse, being almost slavishly loyal to him and doing his bidding - however mean and cruel it was - in order to gain his older brother's approval and be exactly like him, Lizzie knew - even though he did a fairly good job at hiding it - that Edwin secretly still wanted Derek's approval. Particularly when it came to girls; an area in which Derek thrived in, but Edwin failed miserably.

Try as he might, Edwin could never be like Derek. They might've had the same DNA, sure, but that didn't matter. They were two very distinct personalities. Derek was more of an extrovert - he was loud and outgoing, popular, always surrounded by friends, confident, short-tempered, very impulsive and almost never thought about the consequences before committing the actions. Edwin, on the other hand, was the polar opposite; whereas Derek was an extrovert, he was undoubtedly an introvert - unless in his comfort zone. He was a lot more calm and reserved than Derek, often quiet unless someone (usually Lizzie herself, or one of his friends) engaged him in a conversation, a bit of a dork, highly intelligent (which wasn't to say that Derek wasn't, because he most certainly was, but Edwin was more open about the fact that he was smart) - hello, he balanced their parents' checkbook! - and, well, weird. Not to mention that, unlike Derek, he took the time to think things through.

Another thing that separated them was their sense of humor. Sure, they were both funny, but for entirely different reasons.

Derek found humor at the expense of others and their misfortune, while Edwin found humor in a much more self-deprecating way - at the expense of himself. Usually. There were some exceptions in which he'd made a couple of jokes at Derek's expense if he'd been particularly overbearing, but he had a tendency to avoid those rare occasions - especially since Derek was bigger than him and would often torment him for days afterwards.

Finally, and probably most importantly, was the fact that Edwin lacked something that Derek always had and always wore on his sleeve: confidence.

Which was precisely why he ended up looking like a bumbling idiot whenever he tried acting like Derek around girls.

So, in essence, it wasn't really Edwin's fault, Lizzie concluded as George pulled into the driveway.

'I should apologize.' She thought, hopping out of the Prince and slowly making her way over to the front door, which Derek had left wide open in his hurry to get inside and steal the remote before Casey had a chance to. 'I really should.'

She was about to do just that when her mom called her into the kitchen to put the leftovers - which Derek would probably eat later that night while watching his hockey game - in the refrigerator. Lizzie reluctantly did so before returning to the living room, where she wasn't at all surprised to find Derek and Casey playing a game of Tug-of-War over the remote, while Marti looked on in sheer amusement. George just rolled his eyes at the scene and disappeared into the kitchen. It was then that Lizzie realized that her boyfriend was M.I.A.

"Where's Edwin?" She asked.

Neither Derek nor Casey heard her; they were far too busy fighting over the remote. Marti did, though, and tore her eyes away from their feuding siblings to look at Lizzie.

"In his room. He said he wasn't feeling good." She said. "Daphne says he's lying, though. She thinks he's in one of his moods and is just using that excuse to be alone."

Lizzie couldn't help but smile. Marti (or Daphne. Either way) was a lot more observant than she let on.

"Okay then," she said. "I think I'll retire for the night too, then."

She said nothing more as she bounded up the stairs and to her room.

Marti watched Lizzie's retreating back with skeptical eyes until she left her field of vision, before a buzzing sensation near her ear caused her to furrow her brow and suddenly jerk her head to the left.

"You're right, Daphne!" She exclaimed. "It is too early for bed!"

"What was that, Smarti?" Derek called out, pausing his fight with Casey by holding the remote out of her reach and glancing over at his younger sister.

Marti looked over.

"Nothing, Smerek!" She replied, smiling innocently before skipping off to go play Hide-and-Seek with herself.

Derek just shrugged and resumed his fight with Casey.

X

Another envelope.

It'd been at least three hours since his and Lizzie's fight - or 'Lovers' Quarrel' as Derek had so kindly put it - at the restaurant, and the first thing Edwin noticed as soon as he woke up from his half-hour nap was a familiar brown envelope, addressed to him, sitting on his bedside table.

His lips curled into a small grimace. There was only one person he knew who contacted him via envelope, and that was Lizzie, but as far as he knew, she was still mad at him for what had happened at the restaurant.

So why had she left the envelope? It seemed too early to be on speaking terms again.

Well, there was only one way to find out…

Edwin wasted no time as he tore open the envelope and pulled out the note that he knew would be inside, and sure enough, he was right.

Turning the note over, he read.

Edwin -

We need to talk. Meet me in the Games Closet as soon as you read this.

- Lizzie

Edwin furrowed his brow.

"As soon as I read this?" He repeated, confused, before realization dawned on him. "Crap! Lizzie!"

X

Less than five minutes later, Edwin found himself sequestered in the Games Closet with Lizzie, which wasn't at all uncommon - especially after everything that had happened in the last month or so - but given what'd happened at the restaurant… it was all just very awkward. Not to mention tense. It was as if the two of them were walking on eggshells; neither one of them had spoken since Edwin had barreled in five minutes before, apologizing repeatedly for being late, and it didn't seem like they were about to anytime soon.

Eventually, however, the silence became too much for Edwin, and he decided to break it.

"So… umm… how long were you waiting?" He asked.

Lizzie shrugged.

"A while." She replied casually, shifting her weight from one foot and onto the other.

"Oh."

Edwin wanted to say more, but didn't know what else to say.

"Don't worry about it, though." Lizzie told him.

"Oh… umm… okay." Edwin cleared his throat nervously before changing the subject and asking the one question they were both dreading, "So… uh… what did you want to talk about?"

Lizzie glanced up, opening her mouth to say something, but then shut it and averted her gaze. This action was repeated about four more times before she paused to take a deep breath, and finally spoke.

"I…" She started, trailing off and allowing her eyes to wander around the dimly-lit closet before bringing her gaze back to his, "I think… back at the restaurant… I think I might've overreacted a little."

"You think?" Edwin echoed, earning a sharp glare in return. He just motioned his right cheek, which still stung like a mother, and was currently sporting a nasty red handprint. Lizzie's expression softened almost instantly; the guilt in her eyes evident.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, looking down at her feet. "Does it hurt?"

"A little." Edwin replied. "But not as bad as the black eye Teddy gave me."

"Listen," Lizzie went on, looking up again. "I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for slapping you. I had no right to do that, and I have every intention of making it up to you."

"It's okay, Liz. You don't need to apologize. I deserved the slap. I shouldn't have accused you of… well… you know…" Edwin trailed off, blushing profusely before continuing. "It's just… you were avoiding me all day and I didn't know why. I dunno. I guess I just got upset… and when you denied it… I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. I'm sorry, Liz, but… I'm not as stupid as you think."

"I know you're not." Lizzie replied, smiling weakly. "You're one of the smartest people I've ever met."

Edwin's face lit up.

"Really?" He asked, beaming.

Lizzie nodded.

"Really." She confirmed. "And… you were right. I was avoiding you."

The smile immediately disappeared from Edwin's face, and he dropped his gaze.

"Why, though?" He asked. "Was it something I did wrong? Was it because I fought Teddy? I -"

"I'll tell you about it later. I promise." Lizzie said, cutting him off. "Right now, we don't have much time. Mom and George are bound to come and check up on us soon, and I still need to make up for slapping you."

Edwin raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"What do you - mmph!"

He was silenced when Lizzie's lips captured his own in a forceful and almost bruising kiss that left him completely breathless and paralyzed with shock, his arms stiff at his sides and the rest of his body too stunned to react. Eventually, however, Edwin regained his composure, wrapping his arms securely around his girlfriend's waist and kissing her back with just as much force, eliciting a pleased squeal from her.

They kissed for what seemed like eternity, only parting every couple of minutes for air, before quickly resuming where they left off.

Edwin didn't know how long they were kissing for - nor did he care - but he was slightly disappointed when Lizzie suddenly pulled away and took a step back, catching her breath. About a minute or two later, she glanced up.

"I want to try something." She said. "Is that alright with you?"

"U-umm… o-okay…" Edwin stammered, not entirely sure what he was in for.

Lizzie chewed at her bottom lip nervously before moving her hands up to grasp his shoulders tightly, and leaning forward to plant a small, chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before trailing her lips down his jaw; then down his neck. She stopped when she reached a sensitive area that made Edwin inhale sharply, and backtracked, causing him to gasp. Lizzie smiled to herself, satisfied with his reaction, and decided to experiment a little by letting her tongue dart out and taste him.

Meanwhile, Edwin was in complete bliss. He noted that his breathing was quickly becoming more and more labored, and his eyelids kept fluttering. Tilting his head back, he provided Lizzie with even more access to his neck, which she gladly took advantage of by attacking his adam's apple.

"Ah… ah… Liz… I… uh… AH!" He gasped when she nipped softly at his flesh, and pulled her flush against him.

He was positive that she could feel his arousal, despite the layers of clothing between them, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Whatever she was doing felt too good, and it only kept getting better, especially when she began nibbling and sucking at his skin. His eyes rolled back and he fell against the shelves behind him, accidentally knocking over Monopoly as he threw his head back and tried not to shout. Strange sounds were starting to emit from his throat and he couldn't stop them; all he could do was drown in the pleasure Lizzie was giving him.

Then, suddenly, it was over.

Lizzie pulled away, smiling at her handiwork, and Edwin dared to crack open his eyes.

"Where…" he breathed, "Where the hell did you learn that?"

Lizzie looked away, her face heating up.

"I read it in one of Casey's magazines once." She confessed, blushing deeply as she remembered some of the other things she'd read about how to 'please' her man. She hesitantly lifted her head to meet his gaze. "Did you like it?"

Edwin shot her an incredulous look.

"Uh, yeah." He replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Lizzie smiled, eying the purpling mark on his neck before licking her lips and glancing back up at him.

"Want me to keep going?"

Edwin opened his mouth to reply, but was once again silenced by his step-sister's lips. This time, however, he wasn't shocked. He knew what to do, and with that in mind, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. All logic and morals instantly vanished from his head; all he cared about was feeling her body against his.

He could feel her fingers begin to entangle themselves in his hair as the kiss deepened and became more passionate. He was still getting used to the feeling of her tongue in his mouth, but it wasn't as weird or foreign as it'd been the first few times - it actually felt quite nice after a while. He didn't have much time to think about that, though, when Lizzie's hips suddenly ground against his, making him groan into her mouth.

It was then that he realized just how painfully turned on he was, but Lizzie didn't seem to notice, and if she did, she was a bloody sadist and he was a freakin' masochist for letting her get away with it. Still, it was becoming far too much to bear, so he quickly pulled away, completely flushed and panting heavily.

Lizzie, equally flushed, bit her lip.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay," Edwin assured her, still a bit delirious from the heated make out session.

When his breathing was back to normal, he made a move to leave, but Lizzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and pulling him back.

"Where are you going?" She asked, a look of worry flashing across her face. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No… no… it's not that… I… I just need to fix something… I'll be back in a minute." He tried to pull his arm out of her vice-like grip, but that only made her tighten her hold on him.

"Wait!" She said. "What do you need to fix? Maybe I can help!"

Edwin almost choked on air at the thought of Lizzie 'helping' him with his… problem. He could feel the heat gathering in his face, and elsewhere, as he shook his head frantically.

"Uh… no… I… I think I can handle it on my own." He squeaked. "But… I'll be right back. Just wait here, okay?"

Lizzie reluctantly let him go, and Edwin kissed her on the cheek before opening the closet door and making a beeline to the bathroom, leaving a very confused McDonald behind.

X

Moments later, Edwin emerged from the bathroom with a content grin plastered on his face.

He was about to make his way back to the Games Closet, just as promised, when he heard someone clear their throat from behind him. Whirling around, Edwin was somewhat startled to find Derek standing there, leaning against the wall just outside his bedroom door with his arms folded across his chest and a stoic expression on his face. The latter unnerved the younger Venturi, and he couldn't help but squirm a little under his brother's piercing gaze.

Edwin didn't know how long they stood there like that, staring at one another, but he was relieved when Derek finally uncrossed and lowered his arms - only to be thrust back into confusion once more when the elder of the two began to clap.

Slowly. Loudly. Echoing through the upstairs hallway.

It was the sort of clapping that usually triggered standing ovations, but given the fact that there were no other people around, Edwin doubted that that was what his brother was trying to accomplish.

"What?" He finally snapped, exasperated.

His outburst caused Derek to crack a smirk, and the familiar mischievous gleam returned to his dark eyes, but at last he'd stopped clapping.

"Temper, temper." He sneered, before his entire persona changed. "Well, well, little bro. I see you've survived your first make out session. Congrats."

"Uh… thanks?" Edwin wasn't entirely sure if he was being sincere or not. "But how -"

"- did I know?" Derek finished. He snorted. "Well, jeez, you two were being loud enough." Laughing, he proceeded to imitate Edwin. "'Ah… ah… Liz… oh! Oh! Don't stop, Lizzie!'" He laughed again. "Jeez, you'd think you were having sex or something… it sounded like you were on the brink of an orgasm."

Edwin wasn't listening, though. He hadn't even registered that Derek was making fun of him - he was too busy trying to control his breathing and keep himself from hyperventilating.

"W-what did you say?" He stammered, his voice cracking.

Derek stopped laughing to look questioningly at his protégée - ahem. Younger brother.

"Uh… that you sounded on the brink of orgasm?" He repeated.

"No, stupid! The other thing!" Edwin snapped, not realizing what he'd just said.

It was most likely Edwin's frantic, horrified, ghostly-white expression that made Derek reconsider kicking the snot out of him for insulting him - the great Derek Venturi!

"I said a lot of things, Ed. You'll have to be more specific." He said flatly.

"You said… you said you heard us!" Edwin hissed. "From where? Downstairs?"

Because if that was true… then that meant everyone else had heard as well.

Derek quickly caught onto his brother's dilemma.

"What? No! No! I meant from up here!" He laughed, watching as the color slowly returned to Edwin's face. "The 'rents were making popcorn and then we were all going to watch a movie. They wanted to know if you two were up for it, so I volunteered to come up and ask. That's when I heard you guys." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "You're lucky it was me, though, and not Dad or Nora. Or Casey, for that matter." He ruffled Edwin's hair. "Don't worry, though. I've got your back. I told the 'rents that you two were out like a light."

"You did?" asked Edwin, in awe at his brother's almost uncharacteristic behavior.

"Yeah." Derek replied. "Speaking of which, you might want to hide that hickey before Dad or Nora sees it. I'll try to steal some of Casey's cover-up for you, but if I can't, just wear a scarf or something."

Edwin nodded.

"Alright." He said. "Listen, though… I told Lizzie I'd be back after I -"

"Finished jacking off?" Derek chimed in, grinning innocently.

Edwin narrowed his eyes.

"Well, that's not what I told her, but… yeah." He said. "So… can I…?" He made a few motions down the hall.

"Of course, of course." Derek replied.

"Thanks, Bro."

Edwin was about to head back to the Games Closet when Derek, once again, stopped him.

"Wait. Before you go, I forgot to mention…" Edwin turned back to face his brother as he went on, "Well, Liz is like a little sister to me, and I feel obliged to tell you that… if you hurt her, I'll kill you. Got it? No taking advantage of her, either. I don't care if it's convenient!"

Edwin stared dumbly at Derek.

'Take advantage of her?' He thought. 'What about when she takes advantage of me?'

He decided that arguing with Derek about the issue would be in vain, however, and just nodded before turning around and making a mad dash back to the Games Closet.

X

"Took you long enough." Lizzie muttered impatiently, as soon as her step-brother entered the closet. "It's been twenty minutes!"

Edwin grinned sheepishly at her.

"Sorry, Liz." He said, scratching the back of his head. "The… uh… problem… took a little longer to fix than I expected. Forgive me?" He gave her puppy-dog eyes, and although they weren't as cute as Marti's… they still made her smile.

She sighed dramatically.

"Oh, I suppose." She said. "If, of course…"

"If…?" Edwin urged.

Lizzie smiled at him.

"If you kiss me again."

Edwin gladly obliged.

X

See kids? Communication is key!

I do believe that's the longest chapter I've ever written so far… but I could be wrong. You never know. I suppose I'll find out when I upload it. I decided to make this chapter especially long to make up for the previous update, which was kind of short, and also, because I'm going away for a week - starting this upcoming Monday. I'll be vacationing with the rest of my family, and as far as I know, I won't be anywhere near a computer. However, that's the only time I'll be away this summer.

Moving on, I know this chapter was kind of… umm… explicit, for lack of a better word, which is why I bumped the rating up a bit for this chapter. I assure you, though, that this is the only chapter that will be like this. After this chapter, everything will go back to a T rating… except maybe the end. But it won't be Lizwin. They're too young. I won't tell you which pairing, though, cause I'm mean like that. Bwuahaha!

Apart that I feel that I made Lizzie's description of Edwin in the beginning a little too OOC, and the fact that the make out scene was a bit too explicit for their age, I was actually quite pleased with how this chapter came out, and I really hope you guys are too.

That's pretty much all I have to say.

Please, leave a REVIEW. They make me a happy authoress, and a happy authoress means quicker updates!

Thank you.

-Lady Azura-